I did everything I came here to do, so why, why did my chest hurt? I felt like there was a gaping hole in my chest. Why didn’t I feel good? Why didn’t I feel happy? Why did I feel like I made a mistake that couldn’t be undone? Why didn’t I… why couldn’t I take off the mask that I’d been wearing since the first day I came here? The one that was meant to be fake, the one that was meant to fool him? Why did it feel like the only one who was fooled was me?
The sun would be rising soon. It would mark the third day I came here. I could take the mask off now but it wouldn’t come off. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure out what was real anymore. I had the feeling that if I thought too deeply into it, I would know that I wasn’t wearing a mask. I would know that I never was. I would know that I had been honest with myself, that for once since the beginning of this life, I had been more honest with myself than I ever have been.
