**TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains severe depression and suicidal thoughts that may be triggering.**
Song: Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever
Gabe
Pain.
I’m suffocating.
Every breath in is shaky. Every breath out is ragged. Every breath I take is a painful reminder my mate no longer breathes. The stab wound reminds me how much I’ve failed. Her absence left a gaping hole in my chest, in my life.
I can’t function.
I can’t breathe.
I haven’t left my room, I haven’t bathed, I haven’t shaved. I can’t remember when the last time I ate something was. I don’t deserve to eat. I don’t deserve to go on without her.
The wind blows outside and the sun rises and sets. The stars light up the night sky and the wildlife outside can be heard but my life can’t go on without her.
Watching her trial on-screen was fucked in more ways than one. I couldn’t be there in person. I couldn’t be there for her. I couldn’t do anything for her.
I was happy to see Odis by her side.
