Warning: Memories of assault; reader discretion advised
~~~~~
Skander shot up in a cold sweat. He'd had the same dream once again. The dream had been reoccurring since his attack.
Every night for the last four months he'd been seeing his face as he was tied down and forced to watch as the man used a broom handle to probe him. He had cried out as the rounded end had hit deep inside. The men mistook it as pleasure and continued to torture him.
By the time he forced himself on him, Skander was crying visibly. His shoulders shook as he was pushed to his breaking point. He thought no one was going to come save him because it was late and no one else was in the office. He had called to his older brother in relief when he showed up. Andrew had punched the guy and then shoved him off. He had called the cops as he'd held his brother gently, absorbing all the sobs and desperate pleas.
After court, court and more court, Skander gradually receded into himself. He didn't like to be touched by anyone, much less men. It made it rough for his brother and father. Before he had been so close to his family. Now he was a shell of his former self, and it was starting to take its toll.
Shoving his bangs out of his eyes he looked around. He wasn't on the leer jet anymore. He was in a comfy bed with a dozen pillows around him. Someone had moved him.
That was when he began to panic. Someone had moved him. That was when he began to panic. Someone had moved him and changed his clothes. Someone had seen him naked and had touched him during that time.
His lungs seized, and it hurt to breathe. He grappled for anything to help comfort him, but everything was foreign to him. These weren't his pillows or blankets. These weren't his clothes, and the smell was less than comforting. He was in a strange place, and someone had touched him.
As he was hyperventilating, the door opened. Keldin came in with a mug. When he looked up, he cursed quietly and walked around the bed. After he set the mug on the bed side, he sat and pulled Skander in his arms.
"It's okay. We're the only two here," he said.
Skander took a deep breath, pulling the pillow from his face so he could speak. "Who did this?" His voice shook almost as violently as his body.
"I did. You couldn't sleep in your jeans. I asked Abby to pull a pair of your sleeping pants before she left." Keldin did the bare minimum to ease his fears but not send him down the rabbit hole again.
"No one else touched me?"
"No one else." Keldin shifted him around then set him against the headboard and rearranged the mound of pillows. When he was certain the scared guy was calming down, he handed him the mug. "I don't have anything other than coffee. I can go to the store tomorrow if you'd like something else."
Skander shook his head, hands wrapped around the warm mug like a security blanket. "No, coffee's fine."
Keldin watched him as he sipped the coffee. His hands were white as he held the ceramic as if he was trying to warm his soul.
Without thinking about it, he stretched out on the bed and looked out the window. He felt Skander scoot away from him a little bit. He didn't mind as long as he was calm.
"You can hold that cup as tight as you want but it will never warm that part of you," he said. He felt the younger man's gaze on him. "Only the love of another can melt that block of ice. My brother taught me that when I was fourteen and our birth father abused me. He said it would take a real man to understand when he knew his son was gay."
He glanced over his shoulder to find green eyes on him. "It took me a long time to understand what he meant. Then I met Eric. He was so vibrant and full of life that I had no idea what to do with him. He taught me to love myself again."
"What happened to him?" Skander cleared his throat. He didn't mean to be nosy, but this was the first time he was talking to someone who had gone through something just like him. "I mean he sounds like a good guy. There's no way I'd let him go."
He smiled sadly. "He was killed six years ago. I had to let him go."
"I'm sorry."
He shrugged. "If it hadn't been for him, I'd be worse off." Then finally he looked at him. "Don't let what happened to you harden your heart. You will fall in love with someone and when you do, you'll understand what I'm saying."
They stared at each other for a long time. Keldin's mismatched eyes were calm as they watched his words sink into the other man. He watched as Skander started to lean closer. He wasn't sure the young man knew what he was going. Trauma can sometimes lead to disastrous behaviors, and he didn't want that.
"If you kiss me," he started, halting the other guy's advances, "I will never let you go. I don't kiss men idly."
Skander opened his mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come out. How could he be so willing to kiss someone he just met? Someone who took him away from his home?
But there was more to Keldin than he saw. He felt it on a much deeper level than just looking. There was something in the way he carried himself. It was as if he was a caged animal that was completely dangerous when let loose.
As they sat there staring at each other, someone poked his head into the room. It was the exact replica of Keldin. Skander did a double take to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. The other man snorted and leaned against the door frame.
"What do you want, Austin?" Keldin asked.
"You never came in last night so I came to see you," the other replied. "Is everything all right?"
"It's just peachy." The words were grumbled, almost like he didn't want the moment to end.
Austin smiled then directed his attention to the other person in the room. "You must be Skander. I'm Keldin's older and much better looking twin brother Austin." Skander nodded jerkily. "Ace called. She said you did a number on the other guy's confidence in his men."
Keldin pulled his right knee up and draped an arm across it. The pose made him look much younger. "That was the point. He should know better."
"Yeah, well, Ace says you need to lay low. Keep the kid safe but don't really force your hand. It could end badly."
The younger twin made a noise in the back of his throat. "What do I do if someone comes after him?"
Austin shrugged. "Shoot 'em first then use the rest if that doesn't work. Call Max if you have to but don't lose it." His eyes changed as he looked at his brother. "He's not the only one we care about here. Do you hear me?"
"I hear you, Aussie. I can take care of myself but thanks for worrying."
"I always do. We have a meeting tomorrow. Make sure you show up."
"I'll be there." Austin nodded then let himself out without another word. Keldin rubbed his eyes. "I love my brother but he's a little overbearing."
"It just shows he loves you," Skander replied. He sipped the almost gone coffee. "How many siblings do you have?"
"Three older brothers: Austin and my twin older brothers Lenen and Lowen. Len's got a boyfriend and Lowen's married."
"You have a nice family."
Keldin nodded. "Yeah." He took time to calm his roaring blood not only from Austin's interruption but also from sitting so close to Skander. Finally he stood. "Get some sleep. You'll be going with me tomorrow."
"Okay. Um, Keldin?" The other man turned. "Can we go shopping tomorrow? I'd like to get my own stuff if it's not a problem."
He smiled. "Yeah, we'll go. Now sleep. Jet lag sucks." He waited until Skander had settled back in the bed and closed his eyes before walking out. He walked down the hall to his liquor cabinet. "Hey, Max."
Maxim Taylor, Max for short, stood by Keldin's sliding glass doors with a glass of wine in her hand. She was Keldin's mate, but she was married to another man and he was gay. They were good friends and went to each other when they needed help.
"Did Austin call you?" he asked. He poured himself a brandy and collapsed on his couch.
"No, I felt your indecision." She turned and came over to him, sitting on his coffee table. "What's wrong?"
Keldin held the cool glass to his forehead. "It's this kid, Max. I don't know what to do with him."
The woman bounced her knee as she thought of how to say what she was thinking. "What's your gut say?"
"I want to keep him but he can't deal with this lifestyle. He can't put up with my job. What if we have to move to a new city? I just uprooted him from his home. I can't do that again."
Max sighed and took a seat beside him. She pulled his head to her shoulder and ran her fingers through his hair. "Don't second guess yourself. If you feel this strongly about him, don't kill yourself over it."
"But, Max, how do I know it has nothing to do with my sympathy for him?"
"Seriously? You never allowed us to feel any sympathy for you, especially after you started talking again. Why do you feel sympathy for him? He doesn't deserve your pity. Don't do that."
Keldin took the energy she was giving off and stored it. She knew his whole life story and was ready to give him advice when he needed it. "All right. I won't."
She patted his shoulder. "Good. Well, I have to get back home. Drew is waiting for me."
"Be careful, Max."
Skander slunk back to his room and climbed back in bed. Who was that woman and how did she know Keldin so well? Was she his girlfriend? No, she had said she was going home to another man. Then who was she? Was Keldin only taking care of him because he felt sorry?
He shoved his fists against his eyes and sobbed silently. Why was he feeling like this? He'd only known the man one day and his emotions were already screwy. The last time he had fallen for a man this quickly he'd had his heart broken. He didn't want this to happen again.
Maybe he could leave without telling anyone. No, he couldn't run away. Keldin had so many contacts that would bring him back. His gut said Keldin wouldn't hurt him, but he wasn't sure he would be able to get away even if he wanted to.
If you kiss me, I'll never let you go.
Those words rung in his ears loudly. Obviously that man didn't play around. He meant every word he said. Though he was calm, everything about him was lethal.
If he thought about it, Keldin was solid, mentally and physically. Emotionally he was a little shaky but he obviously shoved all emotion to the farthest recesses of his mind. It made him look at things differently than most people, but would all of that change if he kept Skander around?
"If you want to eavesdrop next time, stay out of reflective surfaces. It gives you away," Keldin said as he stopped by the door on his way to his room. "Don't think of anything I said. It's not what you think."
"You've taken me in because you feel sorry for me," he choked out.
Keldin leaned against the doorway, arms crossed across his chest. He wasn't a huge man but he had muscle. As Skander looked at him, he swore he saw his eyes glow. "Do you want to know why I took you in?" Skander stared at him. "I'll tell you. You're on a hit list because of your father. I was sent in to bring you out and protect you. That's why I took you in, not because I feel sorry for you."
He stopped talking when tears rolled down the man's face. Keldin understood the feeling of helplessness. When Eric Martin, the man who brought him back from the brink of destruction, was killed, he nearly went insane. He could hear his own voice ringing in his ears. Only by his queen putting the murderer, her best friend, to death eased his pain. Gently he touched the burn scars on the back of his neck.
"I'm not a people person, Skander. That's my brother and the rest of my friends. I've been through too much and don't trust anyone except those I've known all my life. I never take pity on people who have gone through similar things I have. They have an inner strength that I understand."
He paused long enough to catch his breath. Talking this much had left him slightly breathless and nervous. "That's the reason I brought you here. Because of what you've gone through, you can't trust anyone, not even your family. But if you want to stay alive, trust my team and me. That's the only way." He kicked the door in agitation. "Night, Skander."
The other man watched him leave. He had pretty much just said he was flawed but trustworthy, that he wasn't going to back down from the people who were after him. He would fight with everything he had to protect a scared kid. And that's what Skander thought of himself; he was a kid.
Skander grabbed the extra pillow and covered his face. He had to make a decision. Would he trust Keldin enough for him to protect him? He really didn't have a choice but he was stubborn. He had to trust Keldin, but how?