Not a lot was said after I regained consciousness. Neither Saoirse nor David asked me how I managed to heal myself the way I did. Saoirse knew me well enough to know that I wasn't willing to talk about it.
The same couldn't be said for David. But since he let the obvious topic slip by uncommented on, I could only assume he didn't ask because Saoirse didn't.
This cultivation healing technique was one I had only learned recently. I was given this knowledge by the Great Goddess and I didn't have permission to share it, or even talk about it.
So, I was hoping, as David drove Saoirse and I home, that once alone, Saoirse wouldn't try and corner me and get my secrets out of me. I tried a distraction technique.
"I can't believe so much of the day is gone already!", I commented as I looked out the back window at the road behind us. "I am sorry again, that you got dragged away from work, Saoirse."
Saoirse only said "hmm", in an unimpressed way.
"Seems like I will hardly have time to get dinner and get showered before I will need to start gathering my things for work."
"You could always call in sick to work.", David pointed out. "You don't have to tell them exactly what happened. Just tell them you are not feeling well and that you need to take a night off."
He glanced at me through the rear view mirror.
"No.", I said slowly. "I don't think I should do that."
My thoughts were still on covering my part of the rent, even when I was gone. I still needed the money.
The energy of the car was bothering me. It was making me increasingly uncomfortable. Saoirse and her annoyed, angry, ticked-off vibe, David and his quiet, dark, brooding energy and I, just trying to disappear.
"Stop here!", I suddenly yelled to David.
Confused, he slowed the car down a bit, and looked over his shoulder at me.
"What now, Sinead?", asked a moody Saoirse.
"I…I am getting out.", I said as I unlocked my car door.
"Getting out? What? Why?", asked David.
"I have too much pent up energy.", I lied. "And I have to go run it off if I am going to be calm at work."
I grabbed my bag.
"Also, I missed my workout today."
I opened the car door and jumped.
Luckily, for me, David had the car slowed to a crawl by the time I decided to make my exit.
The last thing I heard from the car was a further inquiry from David and Saoirse's reply of "Sometimes it's better just not to ask…", as she leaned out and pulled the car door shut behind me.
Not wanting to be followed and wanting to be alone, I didn't run alongside the road. Instead I cut through the fallow farmer's field on a diagonal, away from the car, but still towards home.
'Home.', I thought. 'If you can even call it that.'
It was a long time since I was last home, years since I last saw family members, or my planet. Why was I suddenly feeling homesick now?
Then the thought hit me.
'Because I am repeating the same pattern. Again, I am running. Running away, because running is easier, more natural to me than facing my problems. I get scared or uncomfortable and I don't want to face something, and I just run away.'
I felt like crying. All that time spent working on myself, on growing up, maturing, becoming better and stronger, and here I was in the same cycle, the same pattern; running.
"Is it my fault that running is easier than letting people in?!", I demanded from the air and countryside around me. "Running is easier than having difficult conversations with people or admitting you were wrong?"
I stopped running and stood in the field. A large, booming, thunderclap sounded somewhere nearby. I looked up. Darker clouds had rolled in. I could smell the water in the air.
Suddenly, the rain started and the lightning flashed.
Heart thudding in my chest, I ran. I didn't stop running until I got to the front door.
Once home, I searched for Saoirse. I wanted to talk to her. But she wasn't there. The house was empty.
I tried texting her but didn't get any reply. So I called and left a message on her answering machine apologizing and telling her all I felt I needed to say to her.
That done, I had a shower, got changed and made myself some dinner. I felt really hungry, so I decided to fry up some vegetables and boil pasta.
In a saucepan, I heated some store bought pasta sauce. I just mixed it all together and ate a bunch.
'I was really lucky', I thought, 'that I got my fast metabolism from my mother.'
I really didn't have much time before I needed to get ready to leave for work. I spent some minutes going through my closet and my clothes. I emptied out my work bag and replaced the items inside with different clothes, before replacing my makeup bag and my toiletries bag.
Just as I thought I was ready to go, I remembered I needed to add some heels to my bag. So I turned back around and re-searched my closet. Finding two pairs, I tossed them in and then rushed down the stairs.
I put some flats on my feet and grabbed my keys and phone from my other bag.
Soon, I was on the bus, on the way to The Lunar Eclipse club.
After two stops, a familiar face joined the bus.
"Hey, Mike!"I called and waved at him.
"Hey, Sinead!"
Mike made his way through the other passengers on the bus and came to stand beside me. As the bus got busier, I gave up my seat to an older gentleman with a cane.
"Aren't you going in to work a bit earlier than you usually do?", I asked him.
"Yeah, just a little.", he chuckled. "But that's because the owner will be there tonight. He never shows up at the same time twice, so for all I know, he could be there by the time we arrive."
"Ah. Does everyone react the same way to him as you do?"I teased him gently.
He gave me a playful shove.
"You just wait. The owner's presence gets everyone stressed out. Once you meet 'Alpha Serious' you will know what I mean. And don't get on his bad side either. His glare could freeze someone solid."
"Alpha Serious?"
"Yeah. We gave him that nickname because he is serious and never seems pleased with things. One time, Todd got him mad and then Todd had to clean bathrooms every night for like four months."
"Woah.", I said.