I yawned and stretched my arms. I could feel my eyes a bit heavy. It was a bit chilly, good that I was not a human, or else I would be shivering.
Moving a bit from my bed, I opened the windows. I did not have to move away from the bed a lot since the window was just near me.
The cherry blossom outside seemed frosted and the cars on the road were quite less along with the people.
"Mhmm..."
Tilting to my side, I noticed a beautiful naked woman. Her thighs were supple and thick, her boobs jiggled as she moved a bit. Her long black hair could be seen covering her naked body. Some strands in the crack of her boobs.
Oh yeah, I forgot.
Yesterday night after taking Hachi for a walk and fucking the brains out of her... I killed someone by mistake.
I mean... a truck was rushing towards me at full speed. Probably Truck-kun.... anyways I destroyed the Truck along with the truck driver and later rescued a bulky guy who I instantly recognized.
Cid Kagenou... Minoru Kagenou.
[Character Image here]
The protagonist of The Eminence in the Shadows.
Now this was a protagonist I did not completely hate and I had already blocked him from forming his harem...
Ah, you wanna know how?
1) I have blocked him from traveling to the next world.
2) I stepped on him literally and figuratively.
Nothing much just crushed his balls by stepping on it by 'accident'.
I am so amazing.
Yeah so blah blah blah... after a surprisingly fortunate turn of events he is now my sidekick.
"Mhmm Masta..." I turned behind to see Hachi moaning in her sleep.
"No... call me Master for Oink's sake.."
Seriously... what is wrong with these people?!
And what is wrong with all the constellations who are reading this line..? I am guessing that my life is being shown to them.... since I am a cliché.
They should not be higher beings but rather lower beings.
Her name is 'Hachi'...
Hachi: A Dog's Tale.
"Mhmm...Mastha I want yoummmh...."
Anyways time to f.u.c.k. her again... morning boners always trouble me.
~
"Good Morning!"
"It is evening."
"It is morning for me."
"Good Morning!"
"Good Morning!"
"Good Morning Yung Mastha!"
"Son of a-"
"GOOD MORNING YOUR HIGHNESS! TODAY IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY! JUST LIKE THE GREAT LORD!"
I like this chunni more.
"Good Morning to you too Cid."
"Who is Cid?"
"You."
"But my na-"
"From now it is Cid. I have given you this name. Treasure it with your life."
Cid Kagenoh was going to cry with happiness, I could feel it.
Beside him, Genos clenched his hands and glared deeply at Cid. The chunni noticed Genos's stare and simply smirked at him... glaring back.
I looked strangely at both of them.
"Just kiss already."
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
"...."
"...."
"No master!!"
"It is not what it looks like!"
"It is okay... I understand. I am not racist, homophobic, misogynist, narcissistic, etc etc.."
~
Currently, all of us were sitting at a huge dining table. My entire family- Grandpa, Uncle, Cousin, and my sidekicks- Genos, Cid, Charanko, Broccoli sat beside me.
Why do I feel like I am missing someone?
Oh... I forgot to say this. Frankenstein left early in the morning for South Korea. He has work there.
"Deku." I locked my eyes with the green-haired Eminem wanker.
"After dinner, I have something important to discuss with you. Genos must have already filled you in with the details."
Deku nodded so furiously that he almost choked over the broccoli that was in his mouth.
F*ckr almost gave me a heart attack. Stop messing with me like that! If he really died then even One For All would vanish with him.
"Miki..."
I tilted to look at my cousin who was eating her shteak.
"Yeah?"
"Where are your child and your wife? I thought you left yesterday to look for them..."
Oh..
Oh....
OH.....
"Yeah... I forgot."
"Huh?"
"...."
~
Currently, I was standing in front of Deku.
We are apparently having a rap battle.
"Y-Yung Mastha is a b-basthard.
His mom r@ped his Dad.
And out came an u-ugly lad.
Yung M-mastha is r-retarded.
He constantly is in denial.
S-should he drowns himself in the Nile?"
I shook my head. His words don't affect me. I am not ugly from any side. Plus even if I am a bastard... I am better than Jon Snow. Though the retarded part irks me off! I am definitely not a retard! Maybe just a little bit.
"My rap is faster than Deku's Fap.
His mom will give me the lap.
He says I am ugly... that's a cap.
Deku wanna suck his dad's groin.
Suck ur own tits.
Don't forget who your father is."
I think I won.
"Yung Mastha you are amazing!"
"Yung Matha!"
"Yung Mastha!"
Deku walked towards me slowly and smiled wryly.
"I guess I lost."
I nodded.
"Don't worry. You just have to practice more and stop mumbling."
Deku muttered silently.
"S-so about my m-mom... I did not mean to diss you."
I smiled at him kindly.
"Do I look that narrow-minded to you?"
~
"Eat this," Deku said in an All Might imitation.
"No.... no way am I eating that."
A question mark floated over his head.
"Why?"
I looked at him dumbfounded.
"It's disgusting. Just cut yourself with a knife. I will have some of your blood."
Deku paled but nodded.
Blood is cooler than hair and does not seem that disgusting. Plus I am a noble... so it is basically an energy drink for me.
He positioned his knife on the main vein of his left hand.
I looked at him dumbfounded.
"Are you trying to kill yourself? Genos cut his neck and give me a glass full of blood from there."
"...."
"Yes, Yung Mastha!"
At this point, Deku looked similar to whitewash.
After a while, Genos brought me a glass with blood in it.
I took the glass from him in a gracious style and leaned over the fence. Looking over, Deku was nowhere in view... I wonder where he disappeared.
All my other sidekicks were near me, playing cards and drinking coke and rum.
I took a sip of Deku's blood and looked over the snowy scenery. A wry smile crept over my face.
They say we live in the moment, that the past is always gone, and each day is something new, a stepping stone into a future we dream of even in the cold.
Gulping all the blood in one sip, I could not help but shake my head. It tasted very bad. Deku's genes are quite bad... no wonder he did not have any quirk.
Soon a warm feeling engulfed me. I could feel it. The power of hope, the power of justice.
One For All.
Higigihihihahahahahahahaha.
It will be so fun to corrupt the power of Justice... to complete darkness.
Walking over to my sidekicks I smiled and started to drink the bottle of rum.
"Chug!"
"Chug!"
"Chug!"
I chugged all of the rum and looked at my sidekicks. It was a wholesome scenery... kinda reminded me of my family in my first life.
However, the past is history and the future is a mystery while the present is a gift... hence it is called a present.
Now, this is my family.
I smashed the rum bottle on the terrace floor. All of my sidekicks jumped out of fright as I roared.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS WANKERS!!!"
Snowflakes swirled in the jolly wintry air and all that could be heard was laughter and memories to be treasured for eternity.