- "You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending" –
~ C.S Lewis
"Ah, look at you, darling, looking all fine and handsome in your uniform," Jenna broke into an angelic smile in awe while fixing and putting Liam's tie together.
She pinched his cheeks and ruffled his hair.
"My boy's becoming a big grown man already."
Liam scrunched up his face, attempting to escape his mother's embrace.
"Mom, I just had this ironed out! Do you know how long it took me?"
Jenna chuckled, waving her index finger and cupping her hip with her other free hand. "It took me just as long at first dearie but with constant ironing, I can now do it twice as fast."
Liam rolled his eyes, provoking another giggle from Jenna. "Show off."
Today was going to be Liam's first day at his new school, Wilmer High. It was also going to make it the sixth time he was changing schools in the space of three months. There was rarely ever a time where they were able to call somewhere "home sweet home". They were always on the go. So much so that he sometimes felt like he had travelled at least one-quarter of the world. Packing and packing …boxes after boxes …leaving heart-cherished treasures behind in situations where they just couldn't be carried… being cautious for the sake of their lives. In most recent situations, boarding sketchy flights. Each time he thought about it, he was always shattered by the nightmare that there could always be that one day where either one of them could be found and killed. Just imagining it was scary enough. Regardless of all this, Liam found his new school to be promising and thought that just maybe, he could actually stay in the new environment and make something out of it- as long as the expiry date of their lives in Alkia, a warm-hearted and modern country filled with friendly people, was nowhere close.
Anyone who truly knew Liam knew that he was one of those reckless, laidback, flirtatious but soft-hearted bad boys who never really saw the real reason for going to school besides the fact that there were hot girls and teachers to ogle, girls to possibly catch a date with and time in his hands more than ever during boring classes like history to catch up on some sleep after pulling all-nighters straight in a row to game. Studying? That was never his thing. However, ever since his father, Sebastien had become distorted by a memory that left them running for their very lives with a target on their heads, the thought that he needed to change and perhaps take school seriously began lurking in the depths of his mind. He just couldn't stand watching his father's body house a stranger for any longer as with each passing second, his family was growing closer to being torn apart.
Ever since the epidemic of Xynox, a fatal disease where there the human body began eating and decomposing itself from the inside out, Sebastien, an orthopedic surgeon, had completely lost himself. The hospital smelled of death and the corridors were stuffed with the half dead; staff were in a bustle, rushing with patients in critical conditions. They were short of ventilators, beds, equipment on a whole. The disease was new to them and they were still on the hunt of figuring out the cure. Sebastien thought that he had seen just a glimpse of hell. But what rocked him the most was the news that he had received of his one and only sister, Nadia, contracting the illness. No matter how many times he had warned her about staying inside to keep safe, she failed to listen. She was lover of the outdoors after all.
He did his all to save her, he never left her side as her frail body struggled to survive but just when he thought that she might have been able to fight it just a little while longer until they found the cure, he watched death sweep her away from him before his eyes. Not from the disease, but from the works of someone else. The bedsheets were dyed red, her eyes looked like they would have popped out of her head, mucus and blood crusted on her lips by the kiss of the air and her lifeless body was sprawled out on the bed in a state of fear.
Sebastien could have sucked in all the oxygen there was in the room at that time at the sight. He felt his heart sink to the depths of his chest. He felt like life was over. He had failed to keep her safe from Xynox and had failed to protect her as a big brother. The man responsible for the murder had anger and hate written all over his chiseled face as if he would have felt more accomplished if he had bludgeoned her tiny frame to death with an oxygen tank instead. Beads of perspiration climbed down his face as he dropped to his knees and gripped the bloody bedsheets, his eyes burned of tears.
He then looked at Sebastien and as if it was all a play, pointed to the cold metal to his own broad chest, preparing his soon-to-be-corpse for the embrace of death, the ends of his lips curling up into a smile, hinting he had no remorse and a cynical chuckle escaped his lips.
He grumbled and a hearty grand laugh transpired.
"Isn't the smell of death just great? Knowing you'd never have to face the terrors of life again, to be asleep forever? I could never ask for more. I'd never be any happier as of now to welcome death. Knowing this event would be left on replay in your mind for the rest of your life, I can go and enter the gates of hell with a smile on my face. I'm guessing after this," he paused as if it was a staged dramatic scene, "I'll see you soon too, in the underworld."
Sebastien was left petrified. The once pale blue shirt gradually grew red as a smothered heart made it two corpses in the room with a wall speckled by the evidence of suicide.
Since then, Sebastien buried his kind, optimistic and bubbly personality in a dismal abyss and replaced it with an aloof character defined by pessimism, agony and apathy, drinking away his depression and c-PTSD in hopes that the memory would be permanently erased from his brain. He kept Liam, his frail adopted son, Derek and Jenna running for their lives with the last words from the murderer's son echoing in his head each and every day.
"I'll make you bear the suffering like you had done to me. Bit by bit, I'll tear apart everyone you loved from you like the way you took everyone I loved from me. No matter how much you run and hide, no matter where you run and hide. I want you to suffer like I did, suffer like how you made my family suffer."
No matter how much they tried to shake Sebastien out of his shell, no matter how much therapy he attempted to take, it was almost impossible to reach the depths of his core and grasp his sanity. He just didn't budge.
Not only did Liam worry about his father but also about Jenna, his sweet, saccharine mother and his infirm adopted brother, Derek. He was tired of seeing her lately on several occasions being pulled farther away from her used-to-be inseparable amicable smile. Her grimaces were now ever constant and she was always getting into quarrels and fights with Sebastien, enraged and frustrated, smacking the life out of his cheeks. Most times she would cry silently on her own at night where she thought Liam wouldn't notice her and mutter about how much she needed to leave. It ached his heart to see a stream grow increasingly everyday between the both of them and he was afraid that one day, it might have grown as big as the Pacific Ocean and that he would get caught in the choppy waves and drown. As for Derek who never knew what is was like to stand on his own two legs, suffering from DMD (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy), made his wheelchair his best friend. Liam couldn't imagine what he would do if anything happened to him and killed that joyous smile of his and so wanted to make every moment the best and the fullest for him, for as long as he was able to live.
Hence, Liam had made up his mind. Seeing that the future of his family was already unpredictable, to the point that he sometimes found the thought of survival implausible, he decided that he was going to be the beacon of his family and light a way through the dark. He was going to give up slacking at school and be the best that he could be, no matter how much he hated studying and play the version of a father role for the time being until he was able to find a way to bring back the father he knew. He knew that it was going to take a lot of effort, seeing that words were useless without action but he was determined to persevere if it was the only way of saving his family. If working to save his family would drive him to his greatest potential, he was all down for it.
Jenna weaved her fingers together, allowed them to drop at her sides and fiddled with the ends of her noodle strap strawberry dress. She wore a look of ambivalence but quickly hid it with a smile.
"Are you ready, dear?"
Liam composed himself and threw his bag over his right shoulder. He smirked softly.
"Never been more ready."
"Would you be safe?"
Liam lowered his eyes and swallowed hard. That was a question he would never be able to answer unless the owner of the target plastered on his forehead, meekly dismissed their mission and removed it.
"We made it this far, haven't we?"
Jenna forced a smile.
"I thought I'd never see the day when you actually look like you give a damn about school."
Liam scoffed and eventually erupted in laughter.
"I guess if I'm leaving being a bad*ss to focus on what's more important but don't worry. The girls would still be all over me," he fanned himself as if the atmosphere had grown humid and wore a dreamy look.
Jenna scoffed and pursed her lips.
"And make sure you show her to me, Liam," a lusty voice chimed in.
Liam looked over Jenna's shoulder to see a familiar round face with a large smirk appear from the staircase.
"Eh? That was not for you to hear, little dude."
"No fair though. I'm a guy too. I have a right to drool over those soft bouncy b-"
"Alright…" Jenna dragged, folding her arms, "enough of it, you too. Liam must get going now. He has to set a good first impression by first up, being early."
Derek bit his lip in earnest efforts to keep off a laugh whilst Liam narrowed his eyes at him. It made him realize just how much Derek was like any other average ten-year-old. The only difference was the way in which he used to get about. Liam then stooped to his level and held out his fist.
"I promise I'll let ya talk with a girl sometime," he fist-bumped his brother.
He watched Derek's eyes glow up and couldn't resist a smile.
"Alright, game on. Now we're talking."
They then all broke into giggles as the sun which shone through the white curtains taken up in a draught, kissed their skins copper. What a perfect time it might have been to take a picture. With that, Liam wished Derek, Jenna and his father, Sebastien goodbye and began walking his journey to school, fiddling with a pen in his right hand. Wilmer High, his new school, was within his reach and so he took his time, absorbing the scenery of his environment.
Jenna watched from the doorway as Liam's figure disappeared, along with the strong façade she was only able to maintain for a short time. The tears streamed down her face heavily, the ends of the skirt of her dress crumpled in tight angry fists. She enjoyed the way her nails dug into her skin. Derek looked on in silence. He knew the reason for those dark tears, he knew the way it would take a toll on everything if it only revealed to the world the reason why they kept falling.
"I'm sorry, Liam…" the words barely audible came out in a squeak as the back of her throat burned.
She tried to reach out for him but he easily slipped from her fingers like sand. His figure had vanished. The tears flowed even heavier.
"…Forgive me."