After going to my bed, I couldn't sleep. Leo was in my mind, I couldn't help but think about him. It was not as easy as I thought this could be. This followed for a couple of days, and soon I developed INSOMNIA [trouble in sleeping]. My mum was worried about me. She took appointments from her friends, who were counsellors. I was forced to go for therapy. Ms Agnes, my first therapist. I was a little bit uncomfortable there but, soon I could speak to her as my friend, she was great. "Since you are a lot comfortable with me now answer me so that I can help you. What's bothering you, why couldn't you sleep?" she questioned. I asked, "could this just be between us? can you keep this secret from my mum?". "Of course, Darling! You can trust me on this !"
"Yeah, I sure can!". I told her the entire thing. She chuckled and said, "Oh boy! These are normal as you are in your teens. Even I had experienced all these when I was in high school. It's not a matter to worry about. You can not do anything to make him like you". I sighed, 'everyone says the same thing'.
She spoke after 13 seconds of silence, "Do what you love, love what you do, and with all your heart give yourself to it".
"Really? do you think that is going to help?"
"I can not say what's right for you because you know yourself better than anyone in the world. But still, I will try to lead you to positive thinking"
"Thanks, Ms Agnes !"
"Here, have this cake that I baked just before you arrived"
It was literally the best thing that I ate in my entire life, "It's delicious, miss. I absolutely love it"
"Oh, you're complimenting me a bit lot. But still, you can come to my place at any time, I still will bake you a cake !"
"Sure, Agnes!"
This day's session was fascinating. It's been a week since I've been taking therapy from Ms Agnes but, it feels like I have known her for almost my entire life. All the previous days, I didn't speak anything. She just used to tell me all the problems that she used to face as a teen, I felt comfortable so I spoke to her on the 7th day. She was a cool middle-aged lady. I went straight home after the session. Mom welcomed me at the door, "sweetheart, looks like your session today with Ms Agnes was great today, how was your day today?". "Yea Mum, today was great and as you figured, the session was great too." I smiled. I rushed to my room for a hot shower.
After the shower, I messaged Andrew and Laura about that day's session. They were excited too. They were the ones who were sincerely wanting me to get well soon quickly. Later after having dinner, I opened my diary for the first time in my life. I started to jot down everything that has been happening in my life. It was relaxing, it felt like saying all my secrets to someone, who would never budge to anyone, 'COME ON, EVERY HUMAN HAS THE TENDENCY TO SPILL THE SECRETS, NOT EVEN BEST FRIENDS COULD HELP IT' It's not something that never happens.
The next day, I went to my school as usual, on time. I saw Leo walking towards me. I started to walk away. He came running towards me and held my hand, "Sophie, what's wrong with you, you are not replying to any om texts. You aren't picking up the calls too, what's the matter? Did I hurt you? I apologize if hurt your feelings, but I swear it could never have been intentional. I could never do something that would hut you." Thanks to the anger management that I have been practising, " Leave my hand", I tried to sound normal and not angry. "Not until, I get the answer to my question! Where did I mess up, you have been ignoring me since Halloween." he sounded a bit disturbed. "It's not you, now LEAVE MY HAND," I said as I tried to pull my hand away from his. "I'm sorry if I did something wrong," he said and left. I felt worse for behaving that way to him. But still, I have to do this to get out of this trauma.