The rest of the evening passed calmly enough for us, after I managed to get Maria to calm down and Vicky to quit giggling like a crazy woman. I swear, for a while there, I thought Maria was going to try and pull Vicky's ears hard enough to turn her into an elf girl!
I guess if I have any real gripe about our evening, it'd have to be over supper. Like almost all meals in our little home, it's depressing being the only one to eat. Maria's taste buds are, like always, screwed up and she can't taste anything, resulting in her having absolutely no appetite. Vicky is barely human anymore, and has no real need for such mundane things in her life as food, sleep, or bathroom breaks. Honestly, I don't even know if she even has a need to *breathe* anymore!
The biggest problem is I still *have* to eat, and working the magic to grow the portal requires me to eat a lot. One protein drink and Maria's done for the evening. Vicky doesn't even eat at all. Which ends up with me spending an hour alone, stuffing my fat face, while they both do something else.
Meals are sad and lonely…
After eating, things got better as we indulged in our promised shopping spree, and there's one thing I'd to say for the record: "Dat bitch be crazy!" I have no idea what the credit limit might be on that silver-black card, but we never had it declined. The girls purchased several thousand dollars worth of custom clothes with no problem. Vicky purchased a home tanning bed, with professional installation included, with no problem, for over ten thousand dollars.
Maria bought a new computer, laptop, walkie talkies, survival gear, and honestly I don't know what all for I don't know how much in total. No problem! She bought an exterior 24x24 storage building and hired a contractor to build it on the lot behind the house, with no problem! (At least, not until our father hears about it later, but she's promised to deal with that and not me.)
Vicky at least kept her purchases down to clothes, so that wasn't so bad, AT FIRST. Then the girls started talking about the other world, and we had no clue about what type of monetary system they might use on the other side. After a little gibbering back and forth, the girls decided you can't go wrong with buying girl stuff. Perfumes, soaps, jewelry – yes, a ton of jewelry ranging from costume to a few high-end pieces – along with various beads, lotions, brushes, combs, hand-held mirrors, jewelry boxes, and I don't even know what else!! Their idea was, "I doubt if there's the slightest chance in hell that the other side will take US dollars, so we'll get an assortment to barter with."
Which, I guess, all makes sense, but the amount of money they spent! It was getting to the point where even I was starting to feel guilty and embarrassed, but they didn't seem the least bit bothered to go on an endless spending spree. "Mother spends a lot more than this," Vicky assured me, giggling excitedly, "on a single thirty-second ad on television. I doubt she'll even notice, much less care."
If it wasn't for Maria sitting me down and explaining some things to me after all their ceaseless spending, I might've went insane. "Truth is," she told me patiently, "Vicky's mom will probably be even happier if we somehow spend ten times this amount. Right now, she's stepping up as the adult representative for the Bloomer Burn movement, and Vicky is seen as a publicity visible figurehead for that movement.
"At this moment," Maria continued explaining, "there's a ton of money coming into the campaign, from all sorts of places, to help fight legal costs, buy air time, promote the subject, pressure politicians… Lots of places and things to spend that money on, but Maria's mother is going to need a *reason* to show the review board, if she wants to spend any on herself. That's not just allowed under campaign donation and finance laws."
"Buuut," Maria stressed, giggling happily, sounding a lot like Vicky at the moment, "costs can be deducted if they can be justified. If a poor old farmer is running for office, and he's invited to a ball for the press, then he *has* to buy a proper suit for that appearance. It's to promote his image, win votes, blah blah blah, so he can use his campaign finances to help pay for it – and that's all Vicky is doing here! She's investing in her image as the figurehead of the Bloomer Burn movement."
"At the end of the day," Maria chuckled, "it's all a brilliant scam. That poor farmer can spend campaign funds to buy a suit, but win or lose, he ends up keeping that suit once it's over. It's all a gimmick to channel donors money into the politician's pockets, and it works fabulously. Trust me. Vicky's mom isn't going to raise an eyeball complaining over these bills!"
And *NOW* I understand why people want to be politicians! There's a reason Barrack Obama was only worth $1.3 million when he entered office, but then left worth $70 million – and all with a job that only pays $200,000 a year! Bill Clinton went from $1.3 million to $242 million. Bush from $4 million to $23 million...
Politics is completely insane, and politicians are even crazier!
Once it was explained to me, I tossed myself into the buying frenzy with full passion. I wasn't concerned about clothes or jewelry, or any of the junk the girls were dealing with. I focused my attention on what I considered to be essential survival gear for the other world.
Now, I'm certain all the nobodies reading this are now drooling their asses off and starting to masterbate while saying, "Oooooohhhhh… What type of awesome firepower did he buy with all that money? I bet he's an idiot! I would've got…"
Jack shit!!
Just like me, you nobodies out there would've got all of jack shit of firearms! For starters, you have to be 18 to buy a long gun. 21 to buy a handgun. Then you need a background check. Waiting list. Legal rules for shipping across states and cities. All crap that I honestly don't have a clue how to do. I'm not some damn protagonist in a weeb novel, you know!
Add in the fact that none of us are licensed to carry, have never passed a gun safety class, or ever learned to fire a gun, and then YOU think you'd buy an M-16 and a bazooka? Ha! Hahahahahaha! YOU really are a nobody!
Instead, I purchased us some Olympic competition bows and archery gear, a few custom crafted swords and knives, a couple dozen throwing knives, and some of those ninja-style shuriken. Now, admittedly, none of us know how to use these things either, but I'd rather have them than not, and the laws on everything else are just insane!
Did you nobodies know that you can buy a long gun when you're 18, but you can't buy a taser until you're 19?! That's right! You can purchase a weapon to kill people before you can purchase one to stun them.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid bullshit! But moving on….
I can't really say I was satisfied with buying protective weapons, but it is what it is. When I was finished with the lackluster chore that it quickly became, with all my wet dreams ruined, I turned my attention to other forms of survival gear. Camping equipment. Solar flashlight. Solar chargeable electric lighters. Lightweight alloy pots and pans. Collapsible cups and bowls. An easy to assemble, high-rated tent. Sleeping bags. Lots of stuff like that.
And, when the girls weren't looking, I slipped in an order for a case of Viagra. At least, I hope they're actually Viagra. It seems a little fishy to me that you can buy drugs online without a prescription, but there's a zillion search results in google that all link to various pharmacies where you can. Maybe the laws are different than I'm used to internationally, but as unbelievable as it sounds, you *can* do it! No age restriction. No prescription needed. Just a valid form of payment and PRESTO! Twenty-four hour delivery to anywhere in the world!
And before you nobodies laugh at me, like I always laugh at you, these aren't for me. They're my way of investing for the other world! The girls buy perfumes, soaps, lotions, and all that girly stuff. I buy the stuff men *really* want!
Of course, I might need to sample some of it myself first, once it gets here. Just to make certain it's a safe product and not a scam, before I sell it to others, of course! I don't want to get an unreliable reputation the first moment we meet someone on the other side, now do I?