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Chapter 18 - I DIDN'T WANT THAT LOOK

"I will need it.' She glanced at the clock. 'He's going to think I've stood him up.'

"He knows you've got an antenatal appointment?

Alora checked, and Kylie nodded. 'Well, surely he knows they don't run like clockwork..."

"Mike was always..."

"That was Jamal,' Alora corrected.

"Whatever, the bastard got stupid names anyway,' she retorted and that made Alora chuckle.

And this was Ken.

"Hey, Kylie,' Alora said as she went to go. "When you saw him again, did you still fancy him?'

"Moot point-I don't like married men.'

"Did you still fancy him?' Alora persisted.

'Yes,' she admitted, "but that's for this office only.

The day I sit crying to my friend about whether or not I sleep with him because, of course, he and his wife never do it, or I start saying, he's going to leave his wife after Christmas...you have my permission to shoot me.?

"I shall and can you tell him from me that he's an utter bastard,' Alora said.

'Oh, I shall.'

Trust Alora to make her laugh, Kylie thought as she walked the short distance to Oliver's. She was calmer than she'd expected to be as she stepped inside.

There was Ken, sitting with a glass of wine and

looking rather more rumpled than he had that morning. His tie was off, the top button of his shirt undone and his eyes were black with loathing as Kylie made her way over.

She didn't expect him to stand for her.

Very deliberately he didn't.

It was a bit like walking into the headmaster's office, Kylie thought, but refused to be rattled. She shook off her coat and put it on the low bench opposite him and then took a seat.

"Sorry, I'm a bit late. Alora was running—'

"It's fine.

Kylie blinked at the ease of his acceptance.

It wasn't her timekeeping that was Ken's concern!

"How was the appointment?'

"It went well,' Kylie said.

"She's a good friend?' Ken asked, and Kylie bobbed as she bristled in instant defence.

"Aren't you going to ask if that's wise?' she checked.

Ken said nothing and she continued.

"Everybody seems to question whether or not I'm

sensible to be seeing a friend, but..." Only then did he interrupt.

"You're a consultant and, from everything I heard at my interview and everything I've seen, you're meticulous and thorough, possibly a bit obsessive about certain details. I'm quite sure you've given your choice of obstetrician very careful thought. I'm sure your friend and you both discussed the pros and the cons of having

her. I don't think there's anything I can add that you haven't already thought through.'

Kylie felt the little bubble of indignation that she had around that topic deflate a touch.

"She's excellent.'

"I'm sure she is.'

"Have you heard from Andrew?' Kylie asked.

"Nope,' Ken said. "I'm not really expecting to

hear positive news. I'm quite sure you've had, or will be having, a quiet word in his ear...' He watched the colour mount on her cheeks as a waiter poured Kylie some water and gave them menus. 'Though, if you haven't already, please think long and hard before you do. I assume you live close to work?'

"Sorry?'

'I'm just thinking for handovers and things.'

'Handovers?

'Access visits, or whatever they're called.' Then he

raised his voice just a fraction and the pink on her cheeks moved to a burning red. 'If we work at the same place, then it might make it a little easier when I want to spend time with my child!'

'I was going to tell you..." Kylie attempted, but she didn't get very far.

"When it turned eighteen?' He shook his head. He

clearly didn't believe her and she couldn't really blame him a bit for that. 'I don't think for a moment that you were going to tell me. In fact, I'm quite sure you'd already got what you needed from me that weekend.'

Cat's mouth gaped open. What the fuck!

"You think I deliberately got pregnant? What? That I'm some psycho going around pricking holes in condoms?' She shook her head and then met his eyes. 'I shouldn't be surprised. My mother thinks the same. Well, not quite that scenario but she seems to think I got bored one weekend and popped off to the sperm bank.' She dragged her eyes from his and looked at the menu as she spoke, "I never set out to get pregnant.'

Ken sat there and images of them making love

danced before him...her hand rolling on a condom, another time, about to take her from behind, it had been Kylie who had grabbed one and handed it to him. If anything, it had been he who had been about to be careless, so ready had he been to take her.

It wasn't the best thought to be having right now and he reached for a wine and gave a small nod.

"Fair enough

"And I did try to contact you. I spoke to some cheery woman in Glasgow or what was the name again. who said that you had moved on...

"It would have taken an hour tops to find me if you'd really wanted to,' he said.

"Have you told your wife yet?' She smirked as she

read through the menu. 'Or were you hoping it wasn't yours?

"Well, given my wife is all seeing and knowing now, I'd assume that she already knows.' He watched her frown. "She's dead.'

Kylie looked up.

"She's been dead for more than two years.'

"And you didn't think to tell me?'

"Don't even go there, Kylie. You're the one keeping the big secret. Anyway, I chose not to tell you.'

"Why?'

"Because I didn't want that look.'

He didn't get to elaborate—the waiter was back and Kylie ordered steak and a tomato salad and rolled her eyes because she really wanted seafood but it was on the list of noes that Alora had given her. 'I'm never going to get my paella.'

"I'll have it for you,' he said, and ordered it.

'Bastard,' Cat said, even if she managed a small

smile, but it soon faded as they got back to the serious talk once the waiter had gone.

"I didn't tell you at first because I wanted to make sure all the tests were okay...' The water she took a sip of seemed to burn as it went down. 'They were.'

"That's a poor excuse, Kylie, because if they hadn't been okay, a bit of notice that I'd be arranging my life around a special-needs child would have been appreciated!

Again, his reaction surprised her. He didn't jump

on results or demand facts. He had but one question.

"When's your due date?'

"The nineteenth of April.'

"Kylie, I nearly bought a house in Spain last month. I was offered a job and that was going to be the starting date,'

"You can still take it,' Cat said, but rather quickly

wished that she hadn't as his finger pointed in her direction and he shot out one word.

"Don't!

He was doing his very best to stay level and calm

but that she'd happily wave him off to Spain incensed him. 'I was pointing out how bloody late you've left it. I know!' Ken said. "How about you have the baby, I take it to Spain and you can see it during your annual leave?' He watched as her pink tongue bobbed out and she licked nervous lips. "Yeah, not a nice thought, is it, Kylie, so don't suggest the same for me. You need to get

used to the idea that I'm not going to be some distant figure in my child's life. I'm going to be there, not just for Christmas and birthdays. I'm going to be doing the school pick-up and homework and I'll be there each and every parent-teacher night. You might not want me there and I fully get that we can't stand each other, so we can do it through lawyers if you prefer...'

"When did we get to not being able to stand each

other?' She asked, as she rolled her eyes. There was no way, she was fucking going to allow this.

"Oh, about the time you started snooping through my wallet, about the time I found out that you'd deny me knowledge of my own child...'