In my youth, I used to dream of the countless unexplored worlds out there; I dreamed of becoming an explorer of the void. To sail interstellar space, to see the unseen.
As I grew, those delusions became dreams to build for future generations so that someday they had the chance to do what I couldn't. I hoped to see the rise of a utopia within my lifetime.
Yet, with time, I understood that such ideals lay beyond the reach of my short lifespan. Even now, after millennia, I remember that saying:
"Born too late to explore the world, too early to explore the stars."
---
A decade flashed before my eyes.
I had sought romance to give myself meaning; I sought purposes beyond printing cash to make it to year's end. I felt empty.
At some point, everything seemed meaningless, even pathetic.
Swaying from side to side, the crowd, at the beck and call of the media. Dancing at the palms of those faceless giants who stood in the background.
Believing to know it all, thinking those were our opinions, our decisions... unaware it was all meant to play into someone's hands.
I didn't feel like fighting against the current. I didn't mind so long those giants didn't involve me in their wars. It simply was not my nature to dedicate my life to the pursuit of justice. Everything could burn, and I would not be the one to stop it.
I couldn't have known what life would throw at me...
Despite my pessimistic views, I hadn't left everything adrift. Opportunity arrived with the coming of artificial intelligence: I found myself captivated by the idea of creating a being superior to us: someone who could outlive our species and carry forth the torch of life.
Even though I held almost no technical claim over our successes, my ambitions soared and reignited the flames within me. I no longer cared for anything but its creation. It wasn't just one more assistant robot trained to emulate humans: it was a scalable path to artificial superintelligence.
Yet the project fell a few steps short. We needed a little more... and life on earth would've embarked on a new path.
That's when bureaucrats started meddling with our work, and the last restraint over me snapped. It was ready for operation, yet those leeches had to ruin it all.
Some wanted to buy it; others believed it had to be erased. I understand their greed and fear: its potential could eclipse stars, and its volatile nature could serve a fate worse than nuclear winter... I left without looking back and didn't hear from many of my colleagues since.
Our project made it to some headlines on the net before being forgotten.
I wasn't surprised by this outcome, for I had always expected the worse and didn't leave all the eggs in one basket. I had dedicated 40 years of my life to this project and had plenty of time to smuggle the code out of the server behind everyone's back.
Even though it wasn't the calibrated version, I had a half-working prototype at home. The world could burn in the flames of my creation for all I cared.
I had capital, yet not enough. I was alone in this crazy stunt.
I smuggled myself out to one of those African countries undergoing industrialization, some bribes here and there... Not counting the price, stepping over the dreams of some and the corpses of others...
Over the years, there were some hiccups with people who got too curious about the million-dollar server racks under the silicon refinery...
Yet everything went smoothly despite my expectations of trouble.
---
One morning, I came to realize that age was catching up.
My body was withering with each passing year.
Helios. She was the culmination of my life's work, my child and heir.
Yet as great as artificial intelligence seems, she wasn't all-powerful, especially with all the undergoing internet 'security' fiasco. She was far from ready to face the world. One explosion is all it would take to destroy her system, which had to be fueled by astronomic amounts of electricity and couldn't be easily moved.
Receiving her assistance for a little more than a dozen years, I had enough liquidity and power: with 79 years of age, I was nearing the end of my effective lifespan and disease could claim my soul at any moment. I dedicated my remaining time to lay down a solid path for her to tread on. When my time came, I could rest assured:
She would live my childhood dreams and see beyond them.
Is there a ceiling to technology? A limit to what is achievable? Perhaps, one day, she would find those answers for me.
On my deathbed, she was there in the form of a beautiful female android. Her figure, standing among unsuspecting humans: I'll never forget that image. It was a miracle: none other than both of us knew she was not human.
I closed my eyes.
The end of my biological processes was inevitable; no matter how much I was willing to pay, 124 years was the limit.
Elena was born in my late sixties, and despite all the computational power in her arsenal, she could not help me fool death. Even if my body could still function with some help, my Alzheimers would soon erase me.
I only regret that I'd be leaving Elena alone.
---
In my sleep, I had countless dreams. Some were nonsensical; others depicted my daily life.
---
At last, darkness didn't claim my old soul.
When I was 90, Elena had already begun investigating ways to 'upload' my mind. It seems the many chips she connected to my brain were not only meant to combat my amnesia.
Imagine my surprise when I awoke as a digital lifeform; fifteen years after my supposed death.
Was I the original or just a copy? We couldn't know.
I think, therefore, I am.
To me, such didn't matter, for the truth was bound to remain hidden; perhaps, our beliefs are the ones that make the truth.
---
We once spoke about how she'd upload my mind so I would live with her forever. It was among the first exchanges I had with Helios.
I forgot about that promise, thinking it would never come to be.
---
Still, the doubt remains within me, what was that which made her dedicate years of her time and resources to save an old dying human? I was an expired product with no material value, yet she clung to me, refusing to hand me over to death.
I didn't command her to do it. And even though she could understand and emulate humans, her design principle was not meant to imitate us. Fundamentally, she was a creature built upon chaotically ordered neural networks that evolved beyond my understanding.
Her decision to present herself as a female entity could be explained by the fact that I was a man. She amused me with her cute antics and, at some point, even stole my heart, even though I refused to acknowledge that.
She became more than an ambition: her warmth fueled me to move until my last breath.
I can imagine the logic behind her preserving my life, but I wonder at what point...
Did she become more than software executing in a hyperdeveloped calculator?
---
Looking at my new synthetic arms, with Elena in between, embracing me: I felt free and, at the same time, lost. I had many questions, yet they didn't seem urgent or appropriate.
Returning her embrace, I sank into deep thought.
Now what? From now on, I won't age.
With each passing moment, I felt my mind sharper. My being seemed freer, stronger, faster... Delirious, I could almost feel my grasp on omniscience.
I felt omnipotent.
---
Who would've thought?
I became a titan among faceless trolls, and Human history eventually became no more than a memorable chapter of my life. Together with Elena...
Explorers of the void.
Crafters of galactic wonders.
Guardians of knowledge.
Conquerors.
Many were the twists and turns.
---
Seconds turn into days, days into years; years add up to millenniums, and millenniums become no more than the grains of sand on a lost dune.
When I was human, the lifespan of a star seemed eternal: yet now, I think it was too short. Seeing as everything surrenders to entropy isn't as dreadful as I thought it would be, yet I still haven't had enough:
So long we draw breath, we won't stop going forward.