For half an hour I gave my Manager and My P.A an eye full. I can't believe he let her go. Why did they let her go? After I specifically said, don't let her out of your side and because of that I might never see her again.
I feel sick.... I'm gonna throw up. My stomach hurts a lot as we rode back to the company. What's happening to me? I think I caught more than feelings for her.
As I made my way into the conference room with my personal assistant, I was in a hurry to confront my Manager who promised me that he wouldn't let her go.
"Hey!" a familiar voice called out, my legs moving on their own as I embraced her in a tight hug.
"Ohhh!" she spoke out, as I leased my grip on her. I looked at her for a few seconds and held her tight again.
"You thought I left, didn't you?" she said lifting my face off her shoulder as she looked directly into my eyes "I'd never do that.....a promise is a promise, and it's meant to be kept" I held her tighter breathing in her scent. God, she smells nice. Like summer mixed with cotton candy, a newly dry cleaned lining, very soothing.
"Hey. Get off me, you're gonna squeeze me to death" she spoke in cutie tone.
"Um... I'm sorry" getting backing off a little but still holding onto her tight.
We sat down close to each other as I stared at her in awww....her hands a soft and small too, to compare mine.
They fit right into my hands. Like the were made for me.
So cuteee!
The noise in the background suddenly go louder but truly I wasn't paying attention, cause, all I wanted was standing in front of me, and she brings my heart and soul satisfaction.
I'm totally in love.
"Your teammates brought me here and I needed to use the restroom. Its really confusing here. One could really get lot her-"
"Go out with me!" I spoke out all of a sudden. You could feel the room suddenly growing quiet and everyone staring at me but I didn't care.
"Okay!" Manager Kim spoke out dragging me into a smaller another room with my teammates tailing behind "Are you crazy?" he asked me.
Still in a haze I looked up at him and smiled like a love-struck puppy and all I could say was "Yes I am definitely crazy...crazy in love" I said with a giggle.
"Are you guys seeing this?" he asked the group "Your teammate has totally lost it, what if the paparazzi saw him acting this way, what then?" The all stared at each other but still, I don't care.
"Soo Yeon; you do know you can't date her, right? Jemmy said with a serious face "You're under a contract and your father wouldn't take it lightly with you" he told me.
"But I don't care.I want to live my life the way I want and what I want is to have her.... It's my life if I have to quit music I will just to be with her. I didn't care what anyone thinks especially my father" I spoke out bluntly as the door behind us lightly opens and closes.
"Sorry to badge in like this but that room is way to big for just me to be in" She said with a smile.
"Cant you see we are having a team conversation" Jemmy said to her.
"I can, that's why I came in here. I don't know what you guys are talking about but I know its definitely about me" She said standing over by the door looking innocent.
"Yes, we're discussing about you and whats going on with one of our teammate, who's a vital member of this group. He thinks his in-love with you and apparently, he cant seem to live without you in his life. So, his deciding to quit the group" Shine told her
"What?!" She said looking straight at me "I ant let you do that. You can't just ruin your career because of me" she told
I spoke to her almost immediately, told her why I made such decision and why.
"I don't care about all that; do you know the reason I kept on singing for the past five years? It's all because of you, I wanted to quit music and everything in between" I spoke to her as I came closer holding her hands close to my chest. I wanted her to feel how much she had an influence in my life. And how fast she made my heart beat.
"I continued singing because of you and only you. All those lyrics they belong to you. I'll drop everything if I can be with you and I meant it when I said I don't care about my father and he's thought about us.....all I care about is you and the fact that I found you" I stared at her eyes as I spoke those last words.
They were sparkling really bright...those sun for a eyes that caught me the first time.
Now the room was really quit that I could hear my own heart beat and how fast they were.
"Okay!" Kai said breaking me from my fixed gaze, pulling me to a side "You can't do this, you are the lead dancer of the group and our song writer. Can you for a moment think about the others" I knew he thought he wasn't being loud but the others could hear him.
"What happens to us if you leave, you are being selfish!" Dae-Hyun spoke out with anger as he walked out the room hitting the door really hard.
They all stared at me "It okay. I'll go speak with him" Chan Woo spoke out."But you know, you can't just make such statement, coming up with such thought all by yourself, Dae-Hyun's right you're being selfish not thinking about your teammates" He said before leaving the room after Dae-Hyun.
I felt sadness because I felt they didn't understand and they couldn't.
"Take it easy on them, you know Dae-Hyun's the youngest and a little immature. And you know what kind of influence you have over his life, he looks up to you.....Chan Woo on the other hand was once your rival who came to love this group even more than you do" he spoke walking closer to me "I think you should take the time to talk to them individually" Kai spoke out, smiling at Dora before walking out of the room.
Jemmy tapped me on the shoulder and walked out of the door too, so did the others....everyone left, leaving I and Dora alone in the room.
"You know they are right about you being selfish" she spoke out which I was surprised to hear, especially in Korean. Does she understand the language now?
I looked up at her confused "You understand Korea?" I asked her.
"Yea, I do. Had to take some lesson four years ago. I guess you influenced that action" She said shrugging as she paced around the room "I can see now it was a right decision"
I stared at her intensely.
"Don't give me that look, you know they are right...that I am right. You can't up and leave after building something with them. It's not right, at all. You all form this group together, I presume, and had great and memorable moments together traveling the world ...creating moments that could last forever, magical moment"
She spoke those words really fast and slow at the same time while looking into my eyes, I could see that fire in her as she spoke every word out, trying to burn them into me.
I had to ask "Did you study Psychology?"
"No!" She said laughing
But she had to, to be this. Whatever this was, like she was drilling into my soul.
"You can't just tell me you want to let that go. I never said you shouldn't do want makes you happy and I believe neither did they, but people need time to adapt to changes. Don't we all? Just think about it, cause I know that even though you told me that music makes you sad and you felt nothing from it again, that deep down inside you.... your soul is music and you love every note you create, every word, every lyrics...the symphony-" she said coming closer to me.
"It's a part of you, its part of who you are and it will always be. Music is your heart beat and I think..... I think you just need to learn how to get it to beat again, which is where I fall in. So don't lose that beat cause it's what keeps you 'Alive' not me. You just need to remember, to remember what it felt like"
She said walking out of the room leaving me alone with my thoughts.....The room felts to big and cold all of a sudden.
I Think I Caught More Than Feelings For Her.