I was given two days off from school, to recuperate and get my sanity back. Speaking of sanity, I wasn't in the least traumatised by the incident, but it just changed my views on how my fellow humans see me. I mean.. let just forget it. But two days was indeed small, and I tried protesting that two more days be added to make it up to a week, but big fat 'ol teacher wasn't having any of that. What could I have done ? like my grandma always says "Half bread is better than none". The two days were uneventful, said my mum, but to me it was, because I got the chance to do what I loved doing. On the last day, when I realised that tomorrow was going to be school, I was sad and I thought of ways to throw up a fit, but I knew my momma was going to be having any of that. I could hear the thuds of someone footsteps heading towards my room as my door opened and a beautiful middle age mum with brown hair curls popped her head in "Hope you are ready for school tomorrow Brad, no excuses". She smiled and quietly closed the door.
Any plan I had died instantly, and quietly I did my things and enjoyed the rest of the moments while it lasted.
"Ah shit, here we go again" I muttered under my breath. Resuming on Thursday and tomorrow is the start of the weekend, yay! I mentally happily screamed.
Getting to school, I heard a new student just got admitted and was in my class. As usual, I cared less.
I walked in quietly and headed for my corner. No one sensed my presence since everyone was busy talking and laughing cause the teacher wasn't around yet.
A class filled with different personalities and characters, with most using more of their mouth than or less of their brain than the average human and alien requirement. Not forgetting idiots distributed strategically all over the class ensuring you are within a five meter radius of one. Yeah you read that right, aliens are real. Though they are not what you really think they are. I mean you could be the alien for all what the humans care about. Curious huh, ride with me.
A tall lanky man walks in. Brown haired, with a big black frame hanging on his nose bridge, freeing his ears from their duty. He looked at the class sternly and slowly moved his left hand; formed as an arc towards his mouth.
"Coughs"
"Silence!"
The class was as silent as a graveyard.
"Some of you may be aware and others unaware, of the new student in our midst."
Hm, even our teacher knows that idiots are among us. like who wouldn't know that a new student was present. I mean that's just sad. But hey, if you have ever entered your class and didn't realize that a new student is around then...…....
*no response*
Well no one is answering and we can't waste time. Our ride has limited gasoline, so off we go!.
I was waiting for him, the teacher to do his signature move of stroking the side of his mouth three times with his long thin fingers.
Here it's comes, I squinted tightly while leaning over my desk. I knew I wasn't the only one expecting his next action, my comrades of clowns were also unto this.
Alas! he did it. Old habits never die.
You could see the wide smiles on everyone faces like the Americans just saved the world. Some even discreetly fist bumed and low five each other since they knew the trobule which they would be in if caught. Meanwhile, bro was oblivious to what just went down.
He gestured the new student to stand up. He was so fond of that, at times I do wonder if he's mouth was like a broken damn. A crack somewhere with constant leak of saliva.
Not dwelling on such nasty thoughts, I stared at the new student. I mean you could say seeing saliva isn't disgusting but how about when it decides to explore just like Dora, chuckles that's when it just screams nasty! But hey, we all love kissing right ? but would you chuck down a cup of saliva from your lover ?
Ugh! please man stop!.
He wore a gray framed glasses which seemed medicated, rough ginger hair and he was short like me. This guy didn't seem interested in saying anything since he just stood there gazing at whoever took a glance at him. There were some murmurs and excited girly voices #what they can't just stop doing.
But no time to waste time, seeing there wasn't any action ongoing, man is instead going to take a nap here, right now. I dozed off throwing all caution to the wind that the teacher could just come by anytime and put me in what the some folks call it again?
Detention ? yeah!.
No!, that shit don't work that way here because he was just going to whoop your ass until you can't sit!. Man that some crazy ass assault; Tell that to the other folks. Now that some crazy response to just a little sleep, a little slumber and is not like I would become poor. Sitting by the window doesn't help at all, with cool breeze and a little bit away from the teacher range of all six senses, that was it.
I woke up during break. It was just a three hours sleep nothing much man but if you think otherwise, just cast the first stone at me.
Nobody's going to talk about how I did it ? yeah, how I did it. Tom and Jerry style. Got another eye on eye lid while my eyes were shut. shit wasn't accurate cause it made me look like I got bulging eye balls but on the other hand, it was more like I was in awe of how the class was going and highly interested and infatuated with the teacher lesson.
Laughs slightly. I'm just kidding. No one paid me any attention, I just had a way of disappearing. No, that's not it I simply just did Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and that was it. Yeah, just like that.
Meanwhile, my pal Jake felt my look was mirthful and started laughing, until I heard the sentence, someone said to me
"Incredible for an eight-year-old kid with a goatee".
Hey, hey, Pause!.
*Time slowed*
I ain't fighting with anybody in my dream. So why this, I just woke up and someone decided to choose violence I thought.
I heard him as he continued his lines.
"Wow, I'm astonished and I almost spilled my tea"
"Oh my!, look at that thing!"
"Damn bro, it's so thin!"
Every one alive in the classroom were laughing. I was pretty sure William Shakespeare portrait smiled at that pun. I looked away as the class poet completed his lines.
Even Jake my buddy found this funny. "C'mon bro" I mouthed at him, "where ya loyalty lies man!" He tried to stifle the laughter, but it was fruitless and didn't help at all.
I was getting red, and once again I stood up for action.
Yeah!, just call me MMA. I'm sure most of you don't know what that means but It's Man Made For Action. I mean physical action; no, not the one with another human, I meant woman but the one you encounter with your fellow man where you do the talking with the fists.
"LM, don't you think Brad always stand up with passion but elicits no action". The slurry voice of FM spoke quietly.
"Taking in beating is an action FM, so let just be quiet and allow our boy to do his thing.
"Ahh!" he exclaimed happily, "Another classic coming up".
Shit, even my thoughts are dissing me!
Fuck you guys!, I screamed in my head.
*No response*
"Welcome to Brad ass whooping episode two!"
A pretty blonde girl screamed as the whole class cheered on.
Fuck! My legs were jelly. I mean't it, they really were weak and felt like I had no bones.
The rhymer paid no attention to me as everyone were congratulating and egging him to get more rhymes rolling. The little idiot felt like a star, shaking hands and raising one hand up in the air while smiling like a clown, just like his president.
Bro was now the man of the people, but he ain't no hero. Time to teach him that.
Hey!
I screamed.
A calm voice responded to my attention and spoke
"Brad, no one is paying attention to what you are saying".
"This is due to Seth lyrics been more popular and captivating than your goatee".
"It's will be best for you to seat down than let yourself be humiliated more in public", the new kid said. He dissed it out like Eminem in his kamikaze album, as if I dropped a single insulting his height or hair.
I guess this was his way of advising me to back down, seems the class got a reasonable calm advisor if you think so or just a motivational speaker trying to tell me I should move on and there was no way this was going to put money in my pocket and that's interesting because if he continues like this he would end up being a classroom captain.
He might just be like "aye aye sailors and pirates(students), while we embark on our sea journey (to graduate to the next class) If one slaps you on the cheek turn the other cause fighting ain't tolerated(….) if not I will throw you overboard(report you to the principal not even classroom teacher). His type are actually meant to be ignored until the home room teacher requests for a list of noise makers; we all can relate, right? But hey, ain't nobody pouring sand in my garri. I will do what I want to do. Rubbing my palms together, slowly while rising from my seat and smiling, once again its time for MMA. Welcome to my show humans!.