You know it's a funny thing, at least I find it funny. Narcotics Anonymous was my starting place; the birth of my sadistic ventures. They told me that I was an addict way before I even snorted my first line of coke. Heh... I remember that first trip. In fact I can recall the very moment I found that lust from a fresh kill; that...Oh that sweet release when the blood poured from the first stab wound....Ha ha!
And yet, as I said before, they called me an addict; an addict! They labeled me that when I was only fucking thirteen! But I showed them...You bet your sweet fuckin' ass I did! I took that first mother fucker that called me a retard cause I was a bit slow in class, and I shoved my pencil deep into his fuckin' carotid artery! Yeah...He dropped so fast; his name was Lance. Lance fucking Burbs, minus the word fucking.
Anyway, here I sit in my small cell on death row at the age of sixty eight, writing my memoir and ranting about how fuckin' amazing it used to be to watch the life leave someone's body. In a way I kind of thank Lance; now hear me out before you go, just hear me out. He's the one who showed me just how erotic it is to watch the blood flow. He taught me that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, relatively speaking of course.
The point of this book is to enlighten you all to a list of murderers in which I made a pact with long ago. It's a sort of group that will go on in history as the deadliest groups in America. It's the Slash and Burn Society and as corny as it all sounds, there's a fuck load of crazies in it. I was the ring leader of this grand band of blood lusting men and women. I am proud to introduce this book with a man who truly needs no introduction, but I'll do it anyways. First off, let it be known, that he is probably one of the most innocent out of all of us.
His name is Bruce Francisco a.k.a. Blank Face. He's a sort of...big fella' if you ask me. Without further ado, let's get this party started. Ha ha haaaaaa!!! (And yes, I just had to write in my laughter.)
The current date is: (October 10th, 2041).