Patra,
Hey you two, the newlyweds who left us and instead were having fun making out in the sea. The school was so lonely without you. I was so short on material to be bothered with. Hey Hadyan! Take care of my affair, she is still innocent and easily tired so don't be too rough in bed. Actually, Mark and I were about to give you both a wedding present. It was a cassette containing the best porn videos of our collections, but was destroyed by Tata. So you two really have to be creative by yourself. And, there is a surprise! I'm already dating Tata! Hahaha.. I did it! Thank you, Tasia, for encouraging me all this time. Actually, I'm not good at writing letters. I'm just good at annoying people and hiking. I also hope you guys are happy forever, even though we can't see each other again. I hope this letter could reach your hands. Greetings from humanity!
