Rukelion wanted to take back his earlier statement. Being with Daisy but not being able to kiss her or tell her how much he loved her WAS going to kill him.
He was only able to touch her when she initiated it first except when they went to sleep. She didn't seem to mind being held then but the only other time she would allow it was when they were watching TV.
He desperately missed the frequent casual touches and kisses that he had grown used to during the course of their marriage. Seeing her but not being able to do that hurt. He missed her so much even though she was right there in front of him.
It wasn't the same. He could enjoy her enthusiasm, bright smile, and kind heart but couldn't enjoy her love.
