Have you felt the warm sense of a life of love? A warm feeling that gives you a sensation of security and pleasure at the same time? Is love a warm sense, necessary to be considered a part of our life? Or just an illusion that burns you with each inhalation and doing smoke in each exhalation of a deeply melancholic sigh, smoke that dissolves in the air, an illusion similar to smoke a cigarette?
Is love like a cigarette? A cigarette that burns you since interior in every memory, that needs a breath of a deeply sigh to get cool, and be exhalated in a dancing ornament that you will inhale again while it gets dissolve in the air? A cigarette couldn't kill you, like only love couldn't kill you… but, with sufficient time, too many cigarettes could murder you, like your love memoires, doing smoke inside you and outside yourself, just to be breathing in a fake fragrance that the world would hate, but you love, and will like in each drag of love, like a cigarette and its smoke.
I don't know but, for me, love is like a cigarette, and the life is its fire, you could decide if you start to love with the fire of life and, in each drag, you will inhale and will exhale, doing a thick cloud of illusion that will make you cough, or will make cough people around you.
It was a night in my room. I was so nervous until I was feeling shivers, because I was so turned on. I was waiting that my partners in the maid mansion went to sleep, to start my smoking night. I was thinking in Lyla, in her gorgeous appearance, her cutie way to cough, her simply and beautiful way to kiss.
I stood up and went for some of water and, at the same time, to see if they went to sleep already. My room was in the third floor at the bottom of the hall, perfect place to fill with smoke without disturbing anyone.
I went stairs below, right to the kitchen, on the way I could see that Betsy and Layne were sleeping already. I drank my water and I went upstairs quickly as a thunder, and silent as an ant step.
Once in my room. I closed the door with lock, and I took the laundry basket, and I put all the dirty clothes in the door's grooves to cover it, later, I closed the window and I put the curtain.
I got undressed, to prevent odors in my clothes, I ended just in my bra and my panties, these were white with laces and too comfortable certainly. I got closer to the shelf, and opened the drawer, to take my cigarette pack.
I saw the pack only had five cigarettes, so, I took one jumbo pack of cigarettes.
I put a hand in my chest and I breathed so deeply, then I sighed relieved and told to myself:
"Enjoy the last breath of pure air little lungs. I've thirty-five cigarettes just for me, muack! and muack!" I said and I kissed the two cigarettes' packs, one in each hand. "I'll fill my room and my body, with sweet cigarette smoke tonight, until cough! Tee hee" I added and giggled glad.
I took a cigarette from my old cigarette pack, then my lighter. I put my cigarette in my lips and I lighted it up. I dragged with pleasure my cigarette, inhaling all the smoke that was possible for me to inhale (I really love the first drag of my cigarette, because it is the first with which I do a smoke screen that I will inhale at the end), at the end I blew the smoke among a smoke screen and doing a column of smoke.
I saw the smoke around me that I'd done, then I inhaled so deeply and sighed thankful:
"Ah! Smoke… Nothing like smoking a cigarette with no air…" I said and I sipped my cigarette again softly and inhaling deeply, to fill myself with smoke slowly until top, then I exhaled with open mouth pleasure. "Ah! I really love smoking…" I said with residual smoke in each word, I could see it and feel it's sweet flavor, while I was putting the ashes in the ashtray.
Love and cigarettes are the same thing to me, because love is about do illusions, illusions with a floral fragrance that decorate the life until make you cough, o make cough to another one, like smoking a cigarette.
When I was girl, I was fat, and kids always mocked me for my weight in elementary school, besides, my parents never loved me. Dad always told me that I should never have been born and mom told me that I was an accident.
First time that I listened that, I cried so much. Nobody cleaned my tears, nobody hugged me, nobody shared warmth to me, but with time. I started to think that I really was an accident, and maybe my tears and feeling were a mere nuisance.
I started to eat little, I only ate when really hungry, when I went to middle school, as a normal child, I suffered the changes of puberty. In that moment, I was a real thin girl; my school uniform was baggy and was small size, I was not a small girl nor a tall girl. I was a girl taller than some guys but not than others of my classroom. I think, I was a middle height girl. Normal.
My middle school was a hell, I was thirteen years old, my classmates were so stupid, and I knew many of them from elementary school. The worst stuff in life, were that so many boys wanted to be my boyfriend, I always thought about: "What the hell? Are you fucking kidding me? You mocked me three years back, you stupid! because I was fat! And now you forgot it, you little piece of shit? Fuck! Fuck you!". I felt so terrible for that. Many people are stupid for nature, that's irrefutable.
Back to my smoky room. I consumed all of my cigarette. I put it off in the ashtray, and I proceeded to take another one from my old cigarette pack. I lighted up it, of course doing smoke with joyfulness and pleasure, to see, to inhale, to breathe. I got relaxed, I got better after the drag and I felt better among my own cigarette smoke screen.
As usual, my parents always wrangled in home, one day, they decided to divorce, and left me waiting for who can take care of me someone, because I was still underage. My grandparents for both sides of my family did not want to take care to me, because they said that I was an accident, and they did not want to take care of any accident.
Authorities of the state wanted to enter to my case because a gossipy neighbor called it. To resume it. I ended in hands of my aunt Alisa.
Alisa was a woman with thirtysomething years old. She was a beautiful woman, thin, black hair and blue-eyed but, bland and misaligned, besides, she always was smoking a cigarette and doing smoke like an old locomotive or a coal factory, she always was drunk and the house always had a slightly mist of cigarette smoke.
She never was bad with me, she always gave me tips, and always was to chat with me, I thought she was the unique person in the world that loved me, but I didn't like to be next to her, because she always was smoking and doing a lot of smoke.
She told me once: "If you want to ward off a boy, just smoke in his face!" she said and she blew me a lot of smoke to my face. I was an innocent and beauty girl like a porcelain doll, so, I coughed a lot among her smoke, and she added while I was coughing: "If he grimaces and cough… he doesn't love you… if he wants so more… it's all yours!".
With time and, by the smell of her smoke. I started to wish to smoke a cigarette like her, so, one day I took one when she was sleeping by drunk. I took a little pack of matches and I went to my room.
How an innocent girl, with a box of matches and a cigarette, I tried to matched it, but I just achieved to burn my finger and the smoke of the matches made me cough a lot. I didn't give up, and I tried again. I ended coughing among matches' smoke.
I went stairs below to take my aunt's lighter. I achieved it with no wake up of her. Quickly I went stairs up to my room. I closed the door and I lighted the cigarette.
Again, in my smoky room, I ended my cigarette, inhaling all the smoke as if it were my memories. I took another one and I proceeded to light it. Slowly, I started to fill myself with smoke, and exhale it to fill my room too.
In my memories, I remember that I saw my aunt smoking several times, she inhaled all the smoke from the first drag of her cigarette, doing a smoke screen, and then, exhaled it in a smoke column.
I tried to do same, I dragged the cigarette while I was lighting it. I achieve it, but I couldn't exhale the smoke, instead of that, I started to cough and expelled smoke in each cough. I thought in that moment "How cand she smokes it? It's horrible" while I was coughing and having a painful choking sensation.
I continued trying to smoke. Each time my aunt falls to sleep drunk, I stole cigarettes from her cigarette pack, to smoking in my room. With time, I became in a smoking girl.
I started to steal cigarettes from her pack to smoke later, each time she was drunk. I started to smoke in the school, principally in the parking lot. As my aunt said, boys started to move away for me (I really loved it's grimaces when I smoked in its faces! They couldn't stop its coughs! Ha! Ha!). For another part, I started to do friends… smoking friends, and they were girls.
I started to smoke with my friends in a little space of the school's parking lot, that place always got full of smoke from cars and own smoke, so, no one could guess that we were smoking there.
One day my friends couldn't accompany me to smoking. So, I went alone to smoke in the parking lot. I only had two cigarettes in my backpack. I began to looking for moors in the coast. When I was alone, I started to smoke my cigarette. In a moment, a teacher appeared. Missis Isabella.
Back to my reality. I got ended my cig again… so… you know what happen…
When I knew Missis Isabella, I was fourteen years old. She was a so beautiful woman, with long and red hair, white and pale skin, green eyes, and strong red lips. She was wearing clothes like a secretary, tight clothes and a short skirt.
"What are you doing here?" she questioned me.
I thought I could trick her, so, I lied her while I threw my cigarette far away her gaze.
"Eh… I just was waiting for my aunt…" I responded.
"Ah… okay… you can't deceive me… you were smoking here…
I felt so embarrassed and scared. I started to cry because I thought that she was about to scold and accuse me.
"What the? What's happen?
"I know you will accuse me, please, don't tell nothing to my aunt! Please!" I cried despaired.
She laughed a lot and saw me. Then she told me:
"Eh? Why would I do it? Don't worry… I know you feel yourself like a mature girl… it's okay…
"Eh?" I got surprised.
"Ha! Ha! C'mon! Come with me!" she told me and I followed her confident.
We arrived to her car, then she rode it and she started it. In a moment, I ended trapped among a massive cloud of white smoke, because her car did it with its exhaust fumes.
I coughed a couple of times among that smoke, then, I could feel that smoke smelled like fruits (What the fuck?!).
"What's wrong?! C'mon to the car!" she told me glad. I boarded the car too, and she started to drive leaving a lot of white smog behind.
On the way, after some minutes. She told me confident:
"Glove box…" she said.
I opened the compartment of the car. There were two cigarettes' packs inside. Then she added tome:
"Take one…
"What?" I said confused.
"Yeah… Take one, is a gift, just a gift…
"Eh… why?" I said confused.
She was driving the car, and she told me:
"I don't know how is your life… but I know it is so hard… so, just get relax… for that reason, take that as a gift…" she said and she smiled me. "I started to smoke when I was fourteen years old too… don't worry…" she added.
"Ah… well… eh… th… thanks…" I responded.
"You're welcome… ah… sorry I forget it…" she said. "If you start to smoking, don't forget brush your teeth every day, at least three times a day, or your teeth will become yellow…
"Eh?
We arrived at a traffic jam. I got scared, because I thought my teeth got yellow, because I only brush my teeth after meal, and I just eat two times a day.
"Eh… do you have your teeth yellow?" I questioned her.
She smiled me, I could see she had her teeth white and shining.
"Nope! I like to look sexy while smoking! It's a part of a façade of a chain-smoking woman… don't you think that?
"Yeah…" I responded with mixed feeling. She was right.
"Ah! And it's important this too…" she said, then, she took a little box that was close to my seat. It was a little bottle of perfume, she sprayed me a bit close to my uniform. "Don't forget it, it's too important to smell good while smoking… to be sexier… don't you think that too?
"Ah… yeah…" I responded.
I saw myself the rear-view mirror then, I smiled so nervous and worry, I could see that my teeth don't have a yellow color.
"Ha! Ha! Let me see if you have yellow smile!" mocked Missis Isabella. I smiled to her something worried. "Oh! Yeah, your teeth are rotten…" she told me.
"Oh! Really?!" I cried.
"Ha! Ha! No... don't worry, you have still a white smile…" responded me. I got angry a bit.
Car was stopped by the traffic jam. In a moment a bus passed near to the car and next to me, doing a cloud of black smoke that entered to the car quickly. I started to cough and fanning with a hand among its black exhaust fumes.
Isabella laughed among the black smoke, then she closed the windows, and opened one in the seats behind, then, she started the air conditioner of the car, in a moment, exhaust fumes went away. Isabella closed all windows to refresh up inside the car.
"Mmh… That bus it's so smoky…" told me Isabella.
"Yeah… so gross…" I responded while I was seeing the bus between the window, that slightly forward me, doing black smoke.
"Mmh… well… doesn't matter…" said Isabella, then she did a deeply sigh. "I need a cigarette…" she said and she took her cigarette pack, that was in the car control panel.
She took one cigarette from her cig pack and told me:
"Mind if I smoke?
"Eh?! But this is a closed space, smoke will get thick here…" I responded.
"Mmh… yeah…" she doubted.
I thought in that moment that she wanted to fill the car with smoke, so I retracted.
"Okay… but… can I smoke with you here?" I spoke.
"Oh! Yeah… why not?" she responded.
"Ah… okay…" I said and took my new cigarette pack that she gave me.
"Wait… don't open it, it is a gift, so… take one of my pack" she said me and she offered me her cigarette pack.
"Oh… okay…" I responded, then I took one from her cigarette pack.
I was so innocent. When she lighted up her cigarette, she literally filled the car with smoke, and that wasn't the end of her first drag, she inhaled so deeply the smoke, and she exhaled it against the windshield with open mouth. Her dense smoke screen arrived to me in an instant. I only saw her so excited, totally nervous, my body was suffering shaking chills, and I had butterflies in my stomach.
I only could see her thin and curvy body, especially her boobs, these were round with exactly size for her body, and danced like two water drops in each corporal movement that she did.
"Oh… Impressive…" I whispered.
"Mmh?" she exclaimed missed. I got embarrassed in an instant.
"Ah… Eh… I mean… it's impressive… eh… an impressive amount of smoke… of course… yeah… yeah… th… that's it… yeah…
"Oh… ah… so… so sorry for this smoke… it was not my intention…" she said while she was fanning her own smoke screen with a hand.
"Ah… eh… it… its… it's okay… don't worry miss…" I responded so embarrassed.
"Oh well… I'll open the window…" she said.
"Not!" I said quickly. Then, I started to think in what I was doing, and I replied. "Eh… I mean… yeah… it's okay… yeah… smoking with the closed windows is okay… I guess…
"Oh… Mmh… I didn't know you liked secondhand smoke…" said Isabella surprised.
"Secondhand smoke?" I questioned so confused.
"Yeah… it's called passive smoking too, it's when someone likes to breathe the smoke that exhale one smoker when smoking a cigarette…
"Ah… well…" I said so confused.
"Tee hee… it's okay, do you like my smoke?" she asked me.
I didn't know what to respond. I saw her while she was smiling me, in a moment I responded doubting.
"Eh… yeah?" I said.
"Oh… it's okay…" she exclaimed.
Then, she sipped her cigarette for a long time, and she got closer to me to exhaled the smoke directly to my face, doing a thick cloud of cigarette smoke around me. I really loved it, I really liked to see her red lips throwing a lot of smoke to me. She exhaled for a long time; I coughed a pair of times because it was a lot of smoke to me.
"Oh sorry… for the coughs…" I said a bit overwhelm by her thick smoke.
"It's okay… it's okay… just breathe all of it… and…" she said to me, then she offered me her lighter. "Smoke with me…" she added. I took her lighter from her hand confident and I proceeded to light up mi cigarette.
Back to the present time. I got the end of my cigarette. I took the last one from my old cigarette pack while I was remembering how beautiful was Missis Isabella when smoking. Started to smoke it.
In Missis Isabella's car, I started to smoke my cigarette with her, but I couldn't do smoke like her. All the smoke in the car was from her exhalations. She had the half of her cigarette in only three drags. She sipped her cigarette again and she did a lot of smoke. Car had no air inside, only smoke. Her smoke.
"Oh… awesome…" I exclaimed impressed among her smoke, because she was so sexy smoking, and her smokes screens always arrived to my seat still exhaling against windshield.
She giggled a bit and she fanned a little the cloud of smoke among us with a hand.
"Ah, it's too hard to see you…" she exclaimed.
In that moment I saw her and I saw her smoke, the I saw my smoky cigarette. I said with energy to her:
"I want to smoke like you!
"Oh… well… It's okay… show me what can you do…" she told me.
I sipped my cigarette innocently, then, I inhaled a bit of smoke and blew it, but my smoke was invisible compared with her smoke that was in the air already.
"Mmh… okay… try to inhale more smoke…" she told me.
"Oh? to inhale more smoke?" I said confused, because I thought I inhaled sufficient the smoke to blow it.
"Yeah, like this way…" she responded me.
She sipped her cigarette and inhaled so deeply, I could see how her chest got expanded, then, she got closer to me and she exhaled all of that smoke with open mouth. Layer over layer of smoke, cloud up cloud, it didn't matter, each time she exhaled smoke, I could see the thick cloud getting out from her mouth.
"Oh… I see…" I responded then, I put my cigarette in my lips to inhale the smoke like her.
I sipped my cigarette and I tried to inhale deeply, I could feel how smoke entered to my throat and I started to cough almost immediately.
Isabella laughed a lot and she told me:
"Ah! You never inhaled the smoke! You only kept it in your mouth… I see…" she told me, then she sipped her cigarette again to do more smoke to the car. "Okay… c'mon lets to my home… I'll teach you my way to smoke a cigarette, do you want it?" she asked me.
I drew a huge smile in my face, and I responded so glad and excited among her smoke:
"Yeah! Please! I wanna learn how to smoke properly! Like your sexy way!
"Sexy way?!" she told me surprised.
"Ah… so… sorry… I mean…
"Ha! Ha! It's okay! Don't worry… I'm your friend… your smoking friend…" she told me, and she sipped her cigarette again to get the end of it, then she added to me. "Enjoy your cigarette on the way. When we be in home, I'll teach you how to smoke… like my way…
I nodded too happy while I only was breathing her smoke joyfulness.
In my smoky room I got the end of my last cigarette. I looked for the time in my cellphone. It was 1:45 a.m. I thought I could smoke more, so, I took my new cigarette pack and I kissed it with love.
"Muak! I'll smoke you until cough!" I said after kiss it, then I proceeded to take one to light up it.
I remembered Missis Isabella; I went to her house only to learn how to smoke like her. When we arrived to her house, she took the control of her porch to open her garage to park the car.
We entered to her house, and, I questioned her something missed.
"Eh… I don't know nothing about cars… but… can I do a question about yours?
"Yeah… what's happen?" she told me.
"Why its exhaust fumes smelt like fruits?" I spoke.
Isabella giggled then, she responded.
"Ah… because I used a special oil additive that gives it a scent" she told me and she walked to the garage, then she opened a drawer from a wood table. "It this…" she told me and she gave a bottle with a viscous liquid. It had a brand with fruits drawings.
"Ah?" I exclaimed confused.
"Ah… yeah… this is the additive, is a scent of exhaust… so…" she said then she rode the car and she started it up and she accelerated a bit the motor to do its white smoke, until form a slightly mist in the closed garage.
"It is a lot of smoke… maybe the motor has a problem…" I told her.
"Tee-hee… not really… it is under treatment, to clean the motor, it's a liquid that I put every weekend to clean it accelerating the car, but I can't leave my job, and I think I use too much fuel when I'm cleaning it, so, I decided to drive my car with the treatment during the week to my job, and I bought this fuel scent, to prevent bother people with my smog…" she responded.
"Oh…" I exclaimed, then I smelt a bit of the slightly haze. "Mmh… yeah… it smells like fruits…" I added.
Isabella giggled among the haze and she walked to a window while was saying:
"Don't breathe so much of that…" she said and she opened the window. "I'll be honest with you, I like to do smog with my car… but, remember… these are exhaust fumes… so, it would be dangerous to breathe too much of that, especially in closed spaces…" she said while she was fanning the slightly haze around her.
"Yeah…" I responded a bit worried while I started to fan the smoke too.
"C'mon… I'll teach you my way to smoke, and maybe I'll drink something…" she told me.
"Eh? Alcohol?" I questioned her.
"Yeah… but don't worry, it will be just two cups, I'll take you home later…" she responded me.
"Ah… th… thanks…" I responded nervous.
Back to my reality. I couldn't take it more; I was so turned on. I got the end of my cigarette, I put it off in the ashtray and quickly, I took another one to light it up and smoke it. I sipped and inhaled so deeply while I was remembering Missis Isabella.
I started to touch myself between my panties while smoking. I dragged and inhaled so deeply my cigarette. I just had the flash back of her red lips over me expelling smoke. The image of her beautiful eyes, red hair and her silhouette among her own smoke.
I dragged my cigarette several times while my fingers were caressing my crotch over my panties. I got the end of the cigarette with three or four deeply drags. I didn't know it, I just took another one, and another one to drag it and inhale smoke, to exhale it among smoky moans of pleasure while I was self-satisfying.
My panties were wet, and I continued masturbating myself, while I was remembering how I was coughing among Missis Isabella' smoke. The choking sensation that her smoke gave me, turned me on so much.
I wanted to be free in that moment, so, I got nude in bed. While I removed me underclothes, I was smoking and smoking cigarettes, then I continued masturbating wetting the bed with my sweet honey slipping through my fingers and sweating so much, my fingers were to the bottom of myself.
I lost the count of my cigarettes, I just lighted up another and another, doing smoke indiscriminately among moans.
With love, my fingers got the climax. I bit the wet pillow to prevent my screams while my fingers continued fucking me. I put my cigarette raised in my other hand while I was enjoying the pleasure of my fingers.
At the end, I saw my cigarette pack. I scrubbed my hands in the bed to prevent get wet it, and I took it. I counted how many cigarettes I had.
"Nineteen…" I whispered.
I took a sit on bed and I saw my room. It was full of smoke. No air. I just smiled among my artwork, a lot of dancing smoke, like a dense mist around me.
I took a little breathe of air to start to cough. All the air inside me was replaced by sweet cigarette smoke. I could feel the flavor of it in each cough and useless gasp to take a breath.
I continued shaking my body with coughs while lay down in bed softly, then I hugged my pillow to cover my noisy coughs. I continued coughing until I got to sleep, naked, breathing my own haze of sweet cigarette smoke.
My sweet cigarette smoke was my unique company… my unique true love…