The time came.
Tristan woke up from his deep slumber,
But before tristan even managed to open his eyes, a pop up was floating in front of him.
Wasn't this an invasion of privacy? Surely it was considered as an invasion of privacy… Right?
*Free time has expired. Please pick a new quest for extra free time + rewards!
Failure to comply will result in torture + death.*
[Tame quest]
[Lewd quest ;)]
[Wtf?]
System you realise you are committing a cyber crime right now, right? Right?
'Huh? This is new? So I get to pick the lewdness of my quest? What's the twist? Am I only allowed to pick them once each? Nice try system. I'm not falling for it. Where's the reject button? There has to be one right? There is definitely a reject button for sure!
*+1 int for figuring out system's devious schemes.*
[Tame quest x2]
[Lewd quest x1]
[Wtf? X1]
*New quests will be unlocked after all quests are completed. User may pick quests in any order. Please pick within 5 minutes, failure to comply will result in torture and death.*
…
You fucking shitty system, why are you constantly threatening not only death, but also torture!? And what the fuck is wtf? What could be considered as wtf?... Don't tell me… Don't tell me I'm gonna have to tentacle rape someone… Oh god…
*Death threats are useful to motivate shi- unmotivated employees.
3 minutes left.*
F-fine! Obviously I pick the tame quest! M-maybe this will build up my tolerance for other lewd acts! Y-yeah! Lets go with that. Umu umu.
S-so what's the quest? Is it some light petting? Some k-kissing!? M-m-m-m-maybe o-oral??!?
G-god… I feel like such a degenerate right now! H-how am I going to do the lewd quests? And what about the 'wtf' quest? I'm definitely screwed! literally!!
*Quest received.
Charm a girl, one way or another. And perform sexual acts.
Time limit: 1 day*
W? What!? Isn't this a bit of a step up!? The first quest was only masturbation!? Isn't this like fighting a dragon right after finishing the tutorial and killing a single goblin!? And a time limit at that!? I-I…
I'm going to die… Aren't I? How am I - someone with no experience with dating at all - meant to charm a girl, in 24 hours? And also can't you be a bit more specific?! What does sexual acts even entail?!
Shitty system, please be more speci- huh?
A flash of inspiration struck Tristan in the middle of his thoughts, perhaps… Would it be possible!? A system cheato!? A fault in the coding!? An exploitation!?!?
Tristan instantly voiced his idea in his head, but was too slow to realise his mistake… He forgot how absolutely petty this shitty system was!
'If I just touched a random girl's boobs a little, and pretended it was an accident, couldn't I complete the quest easily?!'
*...*
'…'
*...*
'So is that a yes?'
*No.*
*Quest updated: Have sexual intercourse with a woman.
Time limit revoked.
Time limit added: 16 hours*
B-b-b-bullshit! Absolute bullshit! I call hacks!! This is bullshit! What?!?! Y-y--yyou fucking shitty system!
'I think I would like to quit. This game is unfair… Unfair! Am I playing ultra nightmare!?!'
Tristan stopped crying to the heavens or - in this case, the system - and decided to man up.
He collected himself and changed clothing, he had absolutely no time to waste! An inexperienced virgin like himself would have to learn how to charm a woman, put that lesson into action, and have sex with a woman.
All of this was to be done in 16 hours! What a task! It's probably even harder than fighting the end boss of a game, with a level 0 character! What if he gets erectile dysfunction in the very ending? Wouldn't that be like speedrunning a game perfectly, only to fail the very last jump!?
No… Tristan will not fail
He was suddenly given a massive boost in confidence from somewhere, and he decided that he would be the one who decides his own fate! He was going to go out there and conquer a woman!
The system might be forcing him to do this, but he'll be damned if he doesn't at least make sure how he does it!
'I'll be the one deciding how to do this! If not, My name is not Tristan and I'm not human!'
He left the house in a hurry and got on a bus to the city center.Cafes there are sure to be popular with hip and cool students, like himself… If he was a year younger… God he's old.
When he arrived there he instantly looked around for any girls that were alone or seemed shy. They probably gave him the best chance in this. He may sound like a stalker, but he swears he hasn't done this before! Pinky promise!
After scouring the cafes and parks for a while Tristan found a girl sitting by herself on a bench reading a book.
Target acquired!
Tristan stalked up to the girl with near silent footfalls (in his own view), and then used his newly gained confidence to appear confident and alpha-like.
'Eh ehm' (An: cough vfx )
The girl that was sitting and reading peacefully was suddenly interrupted by a cough, she looked up at the strange man and was about to ignore him when he started talking.
"Hmph, this young master requires a subject to warm his bed. You've been graciously chosen by yours truly. Come now, slave."
"..."
"..."
*...*
A cup of hot coffee in his face was his only response.
The girl stormed off, peeved that some pervert had wasted her perfectly good cup of coffee.
He might have gotten too confident.Well that went about as bad as it could possibly have.
After drying himself off Tristan seeked out another girl to try his luck with.
He found a girl sitting in a cafe all by herself. Seizing his chance Tristan sat across from the girl. There was no possibility that he, Tristan of vanguard could screw up once again, right? Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, die.
"Hello there, I saw you sitting alone and thought you would like some companionship."
'Oh god… S-some companionship!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? What kind of fucking civilisation do we live in?? The sixteen' hundreds?* Oh fuck me.
The girl looked at Tristan as if she was looking for an insect. She got up and left instantly.
'And there goes another opportunity'.Tristan started to panic, time was running out fast, he needed to think of something and he needed to do it now.
There was no way this day could get any worse, right?
It got worse. Every one of Tristan's attempts to pick up a girl ended in failure, he only had a couple hours left to finish the quest.
Just as he lost all confidence he had about completing the quest, he heard the ear raping screech of burning rubber on hot asphalt. 'N-Nani!? Inertia drift-o!?'
He noticed that the sound was coming from the rude driver of a black Audi. 'What a pretty car, But… why is it coming right towards me!??!'
The car was barely able to stop before hitting him.With the shock of nearly being hit he didn't notice the backseat window of the car rolling out and a cute girl sticking her head out, but then she talked.
"Hey cutie~~ Do you want some candy? Fufu~"
"…"
Tristan was not playing this game. Tristan was not going to be kidnapped and harvested for his organs. For once in his life, Tristan could feel seemingly infinite energy bursting from within his body, gnawing at the seams that held his body together.
And he prepared to run.
*Quest timer has been reduced by 4 hours.
Time left:1 hour
Good luck user!*
Tristan was not sure what he did in his previous life, was he perhaps hi***r?!?