Subconsciously... In my lucid state, I imagine myself hearing the early morning birds twittering ..outside my window,... singing hellos and hi's to themselves and to the wind...
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Do I really hear this you may ask???
No ... No I don't, I never have or at least not when I wake up early in the morning looking out through my French windows like your average person in your average home or hearing the "cuck-a-doodle-doing" of the roster at dawn through your window.
I mean, depending on what part of the planet you find yourself and the neighborhood you find yourself living in this may either be a normal everyday occurrence for you but for someone like myself having to experience that would be a very novel feeling. That is why I have none of those, not the twittering of the birds nor the cuck-a-doodle-dooing of the roosters.
You might wonder why not having such constant chaos from animals matters to me if I do not live on a farm .....that sounds weird and funny outright mental right????? or maybe that is really a pity you might say .
But for someone like me that has been living life like a caged bird since I can recall as far as my memories serve me I have grown immune to it and it does not bother me much anymore like it used to or at least that is what I choose to make myself believe, having to live like this for the period if time you have been alive you tend to grow immune to certain things, things like your wants, wishes and aspirations.
To be honest sometime in my early teenage years I sometimes wanted to be the rebellious teen in those rough periods.... you know.. Like do the sleep overs, try some alcohol or maybe even make out with some bad boys so my parents would find out and reprimand me or ground me but even that I could not do. I sometimes also crave the life of having your mom shout at you from across the house just to remind you to wake up or you would be late to school or reminding you to come get your dinner before it gets cold instead of having maids come wake you up or chefs cook your food...
Ugh,,but here I go again waking up at 6 starting the same routine all over again in the morning and just choosing to lay in bed looking up at the ceiling of my overly oversized and extravagant room finding a giant crystal chandelier staring right back at me and way too extravagant for my taste or the fresh and Porsche style decorations and design of the room or the overly large French windows all of this making me wish i was born to regular folks sometimes I know it sounds ungrateful and that maybe someone would wish they had my life but hey you can't choose that. can you I just....
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'Knock knock'.... Lady Essie it is time to wake up please you have to get up and get ready says my personal maid. Then again even my rumblings get interrupted. "I am already up" I respond to her ..I really want to shout at her and tell her I am not a child and she doesn't need to wake me up every day like a kindergartener ...but I can't because as my mother will say 'Essie ,that is very unladylike I believe your grooming teacher taught you better '' ughhhh"..
plus it really won't be fair to her as she is just doing her job. Living like this is truly exhausting.