I awoke to a start in the middle of the night, feeling as though my heart was in a somewhat low position. It didn't take long for me to recall the dream I had awoken from. The very depressing and nostalgic dream...
"I never liked that story," I whispered to myself, referring to the tale of the forever child. I had heard it several times when I was a kid, and even then it brought me nothing but sadness. It didn't seem fair, how the poor girl named Ayano had to go through so much suffering over and over...never to remember just how many times her miserable life repeated itself. I honestly wished I could have forgotten the story entirely, and for a long time, I did. That is, until I married Suri. Suri used to sing a song that was based on the story of the forever child, but the words to that song didn't seem to fit the story at all. It made Ayano sound happy, but in the story, Ayano was rarely ever happy. It made me wonder if Suri had ever even heard the tragic tale, or if she had just been living in ignorance of the truth.
"It's just a story," I reminded myself. "It's just a story, and yet I'm still bothered by it. Maybe I should take a walk...to clear my head."
And so that's what I did. I snuck out of the house, making as little noise as I could so that I wouldn't wake the others. There was a subtle wind outside, crisp to the touch and with a tranquil atmosphere enveloping it. The moon and stars were out, but for some reason, looking at the stars only made me shudder. "Don't look at them," I muttered. "You're here to clear your mind, not think about that stupid story..."
Even though I told myself this, the air only seemed to grow eerier with every second that passed. As I picked up my walking pace, I began to hear voices in my head, and of course the first thing that came to mind was that the voices belonged to the stars. I unknowingly wandered into the forest beyond the lake, but once I realized where I was, I didn't bother to turn back. Maybe getting lost would be a good thing, I thought. Maybe it'll help me forget about...that.
The path in the forest was narrow, and due to the black shadows casted by looming trees, I could hardly see two feet in front of me. It was quiet, though, so I was content. After a little while I stopped to rest against the trunk of one of the trees, which I found to be oddly comfortable. Unfortunately, just through a crack of space between the leaves that hung over me, I managed to catch a glimpse of the stars, and for some reason I was unable to tear my eyes away. They were so beautiful, and yet, they seemed so cryptic. I felt pretty stupid, to be honest, feeling this way about something as simple as the stars in the sky. I used to love gazing at the stars with Hanako when we were kids, but when our years struck teens, he grew out of it. I never did lose my fascination with them. Despite what the story said, I didn't think I could ever grow tired of staring at the stars.
I cautiously rose to my feet and continued down the dark forest path, shoving my hands into my coat pockets and allowing my mind to wander. Thoughts drifted up and over my head like smoke from an old chimney, only to disperse at the sight of the lanterns suspended in mid-air. I thought of Suri and the walks we used to take together. I thought of Hanako and the equivocal murmuring he would unfailing make every time the sound of snapping branches caught him off guard. I thought of Mom and Dad, my firstborn son, the necklace Hanako gave me years back, my wedding day and how Hanako hadn't been there to see it. I was so lost in my thoughts, in fact, that I did not notice the approaching hill—rocky and steep and waiting to claim me as its next unsuspecting victim. And it did just that.
+++
"Hey. Hey! Mister! You gonna sleep all day or somethin'? Wake up!"
"Haku, don't shout. The poor man hit his head pretty hard."
"Probably's got brain damage."
"Haku!"
"...or somethin'..."
These unfamiliar voices began jumbling themselves inside my pounding head, and they eventually woke me up. Two blurry faces were just over me with their eyes staring down at me curiously. I blinked several times to adjust my vision. Soon I was able to make out the faces of an elderly woman and a little girl. The little girl had short, ginger hair and big red eyes that were bubbling over with curiosity. As soon as she noticed I was awake, she began poking my face. I shook my head, hoping that she would stop, then sat myself up against the bed upon which I had awoken.
"What happened?" I asked, reaching up to touch my head, which I now felt had been wrapped in bandages. "Where am I?"
"He really does have brain damage."
"Haku, go wait outside," the elderly woman ordered. Haku released a heavy sigh as she spun around, then trudged slowly out of the house as if her shoes were made of metal. "I'm sorry about Haku. She really is a nice girl. Anyway, I don't think I've introduced myself yet. I'm Seya. My husband is the village leader."
"Village?" I looked at her curiously. "You mean this is the village just a few miles from the lake?"
Seya flinched at the mention of the lake, and she glanced away from me for a second. "Yes," she said quietly. "That's correct. But few of us here in the village like to go near that lake. You're very lucky Haku found you there this morning."
"You're telling me...that little girl...saved my life?" I blinked.
"Pretty much," Seya laughed. "As soon as she found you lying there in the forest, she got back on her bicycle and hurried back to me, then ordered me to come help you immediately."
"That's not true!!" I head Haku shout from outside.
I smiled softly as I leaned forward and carefully threw my legs off the edge of the bed, then slowly placed my feet on the floor and stood up. I started swaying back and forth for a moment, and Seya grabbed my arm to prevent me from falling. Once I regained my balance, I asked her, "Is it alright if I go outside and speak with Haku?"
"Of course," Seya replied. "But be careful. Don't put too much pressure on yourself."
"Thanks."
I made my way over to the door and opened it cautiously, then peered outside to see if Haku was still standing near by. I soon discovered her sitting on the ground just a few feet away, carving a whole in the dirt with a sharp rock. As soon I shut the door, Haku flinched, and she lifted her head to look at me.
"Hey."
"I don't wanna talk to you," she huffed, crossing her arms stubbornly.
"That's not very nice."
"You're the one who's not very nice!" She yelled at me.
"What're you talking about?"
"You scared me, k?!"
"How?"
Haku's mouth bent into a frown and her gaze fell to her feet, which soon began to shuffle as her disposition acquired a shy-like quality. "You look a lot like Daddy," she said, her voice now soft and scarcely recognizable. "When I found you in the forest, I couldn't help but think you looked just like him, and I got really sad. My daddy doesn't live here anymore, so..." She stopped abruptly at the realization I was patting her head. "Hey! What do you think yer doing, mister?!"
"Thank you."
Haku stopped. "What did you say, mister?"
"I said thank you," I repeated. "If it weren't for what you did, I might still be stranded in that forest. You saved me, Haku. And by the way, my name is Morgan. You can stop calling me mister."
Haku's cheeks turned red as she grabbed my hand, then tossed it back at me. "That's a girly name," she muttered.
"Well isn't Haku a rather boyish name?" I pointed out.
"It's not!" She insisted. "It's a cool name, and I like it."
"Is that so?" I couldn't help but laugh at her stubborn, yet cute behavior. I could tell just by the way she was talking to me that she was indeed a very kind girl, but most of the time she refused to accept it. I was grateful for Haku's kindness. I only wished there was someway I could repay her for what she did for me...
"Don't laugh at me!" Haku pouted. "You're not a very nice man at all, are you Morgan?"
"Hey, Haku? Is there anything I could do for you?"
Haku tilted her head and opened her eyes wide, a perplexed expression on her face. "What's that?" She asked. "Something you could do for me?"
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "I feel like I owe you for saving me. So in return, I want to do something nice for you. You know, to show my appreciation."
"Appre...cia...tion...?" Haku blinked slowly. "What does that mean?"
"Appreciation is a nice feeling you get when someone does something kind for you," I explained briefly. A light bulb seemed to go off in Haku's head.
"Oh, I get it now." She smiled, almost as if understanding the meaning of the word was a huge achievement for her. "Okay, I guess I'll try and think of something you can do for me. Hmm...ah, I've got it! You can take me to get ice cream!"
I cracked a grin. "Something so little as that?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "You just saved my life. Are you sure that's all you want?"
"Yup! Oh, and a piggyback ride, too!"
"Very well, then." I got down on my knees and let Haku throw her arms around my neck, clinging to my back as I stood back up. "You'll have to be my GPS, though."
"What's a GPS?"
"Never mind...just point me in the direction of the ice cream shop."
+++
"One double-Dutch chocolate chip supreme sundae, please! Oh, and chocolate syrup on the top!"
"Geez, Haku, I think I'm getting a cavity just listening to that..."
"Whatever." Haku rolled her eyes at me. "Aren't you gonna get anything, mister?"
"I told you you can call me Morgan, remember?" I sighed. "And thanks, but no thanks, I'm not in the mood for ice cream right now. It would probably make my headache worse, anyway..."
"Your loss," she said, grinning happily as the man minding the little ice cream shop brought back what she had ordered. The little ginger didn't hesitate to dig right into it, either...
"I think my stomach just did a somersault..." I groaned and turned my head away from her, not wanting to look at the mountain of sugar in front of her any longer.
"So, mister, what were you doin' out in that forest anyways?" Haku asked, her words slightly muffled due to the fact she was already stuffing her face.
"I'm actually out here on a vacation with some friends of mine," I told her. "I just...I had a bad dream and wanted to take a walk to make myself feel better. It was dark, so that's why I fell down that hill. I know, it all sounds pretty stupid. I'm twenty-five years old, I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of something a childish as a bad dream..."
"What're your friends like?" Haku asked. "Are they so mean and scary that you were too afraid to tell 'em about your dream?"
"That's not it," I said, shaking my head. "I just don't want to bother any of them with my personal problems. They've got their own to worry about."
"You goin' through rough times or somethin'?"
My eyes opened wide for a second, and I shot Haku a thoughtful glance. "I...yeah." I hung my head sadly. "I suppose I am."
"You can tell me what's bothering you, if ya want," she offered, once again shoving a large spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "I'm a good listener. I promise."
Such a kind girl... "Alright then, I guess I can tell you," I said with a laugh. "It's quite simple, really. The reason I'm sad can be summed up in one short sentence: I've lost my best friend."
"Did...did they die?"
"No, no, not at all," I assured her. Haku let out a sigh of relief. "I just meant that...I can't find him. Well, to be honest I saw him just a couple days ago, but I'm starting to wonder if the man I saw was really him in the first place."
"Was he wearin' a disguise or somethin'?"
"Sort of," I laughed at her puzzled tone. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I miss him. Missing people makes you sad. You know that, right? I could tell from listening to you earlier that you really miss your father, don't you?"
Haku gazed sadly at her ice cream. "Yeah. I do. Missing people does make you sad, but it's better than forgetting about them...or at least, that's what Mommy told me."
"Your mother is a very wise person."
"Ya think so?" Haku looked up at me with a hopeful expression.
"Of course," I said. "And you know what? I think you'll grow up to be just like her someday."
Haku giggled with delight. "I take it back, mister. You are pretty nice."
"So is there anything you'd like to do after this?" I asked her. Haku shot me a puzzled look.
"Ya already bought me ice cream," she said, pushing aside her empty bowl.
"Yeah, but I still don't think that's enough to satisfy me..." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, fixing my eyes on Haku's. "Are you sure there's nothing else I could do for you? Something bigger?"
Haku hung her head and pressed her lips together as she began to hum thoughtfully to herself. "Well...you could...uh...oh! I know! You could come to my house! I haven't had company in a long time, so it'd be fun."
"Will it be alright with your mother, though? Shouldn't you ask her first?"
"She won't mind," Haku insisted, leaping off her stool and grabbing my arm. "Come on, Morgan! Let's go!"
She actually used my name. "Okay. I'll go to your house. I owe you that much."
+++
It wasn't long before we arrived at the small cottage Haku claimed to be her house. She jiggled the door knob until it made a clicking noise, then pushed open the door and rushed inside, pulling me along behind her. "You're such a slowpoke," she groaned. "Gimme a sec, I'll call my mom. Mommy!!"
Silence.
"Huh...I guess she's not home right now." Haku frowned. "I guess you won't get to meet her today. Oh, well. Hey, Morgan, do you like tea?"
"Yeah," I replied. "But you don't have to go to the trouble of making some for me."
"Nah, it's okay," she said, running over to a cabinet and pulling out a small grey pot. "I want some, too." She made her way over to the sink and filled the pot halfway with cold water, then placed the pot on the stove and turned the burner on. Haku smiled proudly at herself. "There. Now I'll go get the mugs." She grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and pulled it over beside the counter, then put her foot on the surface of the counter. She reached her hands up high to grab a mug that sat atop a shelf, but just as her fingers grazed the handle of the mug, Haku lost her balance, and she slipped off the chair. Luckily I was able to catch her before she fell, and the mug she was trying so hard to reach landed safely in her lap. Haku looked up at me, and for a second I thought she was going to cry. I was gladly mistaken the second her laughter filled my ears.
"That wasn't very smart," I told her, putting her feet back on the floor. "If you needed something high up, you could've asked me to get it for you."
"Here." Haku stretched out her arm and held out the mug to me. "This one's for you."
I accepted the mug gratefully and smiled at Haku, then patted her once again on the head. "Thanks, Haku. But what are you gonna use?"
"A mug my grandma gave me. It's in the cabinet above the stove. Could ya get it for me? Oh, and the teabags are up there, too."
I opened the cabinet and took out the mug Haku pointed at, as well as a box of tea bags, then placed them on the counter. The water was beginning to boil at this point, too, so I switched off the stove burner. After placing a tea bag in both mugs, I poured the hot water in them and brought the mugs over to the table, placing them down carefully. Haku grabbed a sugar container and two spoons and brought them over, as well.
"I didn't think little kids liked hot drinks like this."
"I'm not a little kid!" Haku insisted. "I'm almost seven."
"Is that so?" I said, stifling a laugh. "When's your birthday?"
"December 3rd."
My heart skipped a beat. "What?"
"December 3rd!" She repeated, sounding slightly frustrated that I asked again. "You got somethin' stuck in your ears?"
"No..." I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I reached for the sugar, but Haku got to it first. "Sorry, Haku, I didn't mean to offend you."
I glanced up at Haku's face and noticed her expression begin to sadden from the silence that followed my words. She stood up from her chair and started to walk away, but before I could stop her, she had already begun to make her way up the stairs. I slapped my forehead. You're a stupid man, Morgan. Stupid.
Much to my relief, I heard Haku's footsteps coming down the stairs just a minute later, and she soon reclaimed her seat at the kitchen table, now with a big smile on her face. She was holding a large book that looked like some sort of photo album. She heaved the book up onto the table and looked at me, as if expecting me to say something.
"Uh...whatcha got there?"
"Glad you asked!" She beamed, flipping the book open to the first page. "This is my family's photo book collection thingy. See, this is a picture from Mommy and Daddy's wedding. Look at how happy they are."
I glanced at the photo of the happy couple, then back at Haku's face. It was nice to see how excited she was about something like this, and I couldn't help but smile. Haku reminded me of how much I wanted to be a parent. Having a child like her would be such a wonderful thing...but the chance of that ever happening slipped away from me years ago. However, I wasn't just about ready to let that get me down now. I was just grateful to have been able to spend time with her.
"...and this is a picture of me eating cake on my first birthday. This one is of me opening my pres-...hey. Morgan, are you listening?"
"Huh?" I blinked several times to focus on Haku's voice. She was staring up at me now, her mouth slowly bending into a frown. "Sorry, Haku," I said, laughing nervously. "I guess I got distracted there for a second."
"Somethin' bothering you again?" Haku tilted her head and qazed into my eyes questioningly. "Don't tell me...did you not get presents for your birthday when you were a kid? That would be pretty sad. Or maybe, were you too poor to afford cake? Or did you not celebrate your birthday as a kid...?"
"Haku...I think I should be getting back to my friends now."
Haku's expression suddenly filled with deep concern, and even a little bit of sadness. "Huh?" She jumped out of her seat and hurried over to me, then began tugging at my sleeve. "But why? You haven't even been here that long. Why do you have to go so early?"
I didn't answer her. Instead I stood up from my chair and walked over to the door, then opened it slowly. Haku continued to pull at my arm and plead for me not to go, which only brought to my attention that the longer I stayed here, the harder it'd be for me to leave.
"Please don't leave just yet!" Haku shouted. "You said you owed me, right? If you leave now, doesn't that count as backing out of a promise?"
I stopped in my tracks. Haku quickly ran in front of me and spread out her arms, as if to create some kind of barrier to prevent me from going any further. "At least...at least let me walk you home," she offered.
"Haku, I'm not a child. I don't need to be escorted back home. I do appreciate your offer, though."
"Appreciate..." Haku paused for a moment, looking as though she was searching through her mind for something in particular. "Appreciation...is a nice feeling you get...when someone does something kind for you. That's what you told me. Isn't that right?"
It was impossible for me to ignore her. The way she was speaking right now...kind of reminded me of how I used to be. A long time ago, that is. "You're persistent," I said to her, getting down on my knees to look at her at eye-level. "Very well then. I'll let you walk me home. This time I'll be the GPS."
"Okay!" Haku grinned happily. "Ah, but I still don't know what a GPS is."
"It's like a personal guide," I explained. "Something that tells you the way to go in case you can't find it on your own."
"You mean like a compass?"
"Yeah...I'll be the compass..."
+++
Haku and I took our time walking through the forest, both to enjoy talking with one another and to avoid another tripping-and-falling-down-a-hill incident. I wasn't sure of the exact time, but I knew it was some time in the afternoon because of where the sun was in the sky. As we exited the forest, the cabin I had been staying in came into view, as well as the sparkling lake that it sat beside. It was breathtaking how beautiful the lake was when the sunlight reflected off its surface. Haku seemed to appreciate the lake's beauty, too, judging by the expression on her face.
"It's so pretty..." She said, letting out a loving sigh. "Never been here when the lake was this pretty. Thank you, Morgan."
"No problem," I chuckled. "Hey, Haku, since we're here, you wanna talk for a bit on the dock? You know, before you head back home."
Haku's eyes lit up, and she nodded enthusiastically. She then bolted towards the dock I was referring to and waved her hand in the air, gesturing for me to come over. So I did. The two of us sat down at the edge of the dock and stared out across the lake, unable to resist smiling at it. "This lake reminds me of the one I used to watch back at Bluegate," I said thoughtfully. "My friend and I would go there a lot to sit on the dock, just like we're doing now."
"What was your friend's name?" Haku asked. "They sound important to you."
"He is," I said. "His name was Hanako."
"Wow, you guys both have girly names."
I nudged Haku jokingly. "Oh, stop it, you."
"So this friend of yours..." Haku's voice trailed off, as if to drop the hint that there was something more she wanted to know.
"What about him?"
"What's he like?"
I reached my hand up to scratch my head as I thought about her question. "What's he like...?" I whispered aloud. "Where do I begin? Hanako is...well, he's everything I aspire to be. He's strong, kind, and always knows the right thing to say. He was always the one who would pick me up off the ground whenever I fell. He protected me. He was practically like a big brother to me. I loved him like a brother, that's for sure."
"You used past tense a lot," Haku noted. "Is Hanako not any of these things to you anymore?"
"No...no, that's not what I meant at all." I let out a heavy sigh as I turned to Haku, smiling softly at her before whispering, "I just think my friend is a little lost right now. That's why I'm doing all I can to find him."
"You're so nice, Morgan..."
Haku scooted closer to me and rested her head against my arm, closing her eyes gently after taking one last look at the lake.
"Hey, now, Haku, don't fall asleep. You've got to get back home."
Haku sighed deeply. "Yeah, I know. I just wanna stay here a little longer. It's hard sayin' goodbye to a friend, ya know."
"Friend?" I furrowed my brow in confusion at the use of the word. "Are you calling me your friend, Haku?"
"Of course," she said, laughing with delight. "What else would I call you?"
"A stranger."
"But you're no stranger."
This girl is something else...
I hummed quietly to myself as Haku lay her head on my arm once again. I see...so I've acquired yet another friend...
"Thank you, Haku. I appreciate everything you've done for me."