Where am I? What's going on here? I can't see anything...it's so dark. How did I get here? What happened? I remember I was with Yuta....and Connie and the others...but where did they go?
Slowly I awakened to a splitting headache in a field, darkened by the starless sky above. I carefully got to my feet and spun around once, only to find that when I had returned to my original position, Connie was standing directly in front of me, a serious yet slightly amused expression on her face. "It's about time you opened your eyes," she said in a low voice. "How are you feeling?"
"My head feels like it's about to explode," I said honestly. "What's going on? Where am I? What have you done with the others?"
"They're sleeping. Just like you."
I narrowed my eyes at her in confusion. "Are you saying...that this is a dream?"
Connie nodded. "Yes. I knocked all of you out just moments ago so that I could invade your dreams and speak with you like this."
"You knocked us out?!"
She nodded again. "I did. You said you wanted my help, correct? Well, in order for me to help you, I need to know that you are well enough trained to keep up with me. This dream that you are currently having is the first test."
I stared at Connie blankly, suddenly finding myself rather fed up with her mysterious and strange behavior. "Is it necessary...?"
"It is very necessary. Especially for such a difficult task as locating and conversing with the Shadow Keeper. You need to be strong. You need to be prepared. You need to be willing to sacrifice anything at any given time. Therefore, these exercises are most certainly necessary. If you wish not to go through with them, then I suggest you forget about receiving my assistance."
Well, okay then...she seems to be legitimately serious and ready to go through with this. I guess I have no choice... "Fine," I sighed. "Just...hurry up so we can get this over with."
"Very well, then," said Connie, a devious smile creeping up onto her face. She spun around with the swing over her foot and began walking off in another direction. Raising her hand she waved to me while shouting, "Good luck, human boy!"
"Wait!" I called out to her, but she didn't stop or turn around. "What am I supposed to do now?!"
"Just look for something that reminds you of happiness!"
With that, she disappeared into the darkness, leaving me behind in a head-splitting state of confusion. What did she mean by what she said? I wondered. Look for something that reminds me of happiness...?
The first two things that came to mind were pretty obvious: Hanako and my wife. But where was I supposed to find them? And what was I supposed to do when I found them? "Ugh, this is really hurting my head..."
"Morgan!!"
My eyes shot open, shocked by the sudden calling of my name. My real name. I lifted my head and frantically looked around, desperate to find the source of the voice. To my relief, I soon spotted her in the near distance, waving happily to me. She was wearing her glasses as usual, and her beautiful brown hair was tied back in a ponytail, flowing in the gentle wind. I waved back to her, smiling widely. It was then that I felt my headache disappear entirely. It was as the sight of her face had instantly relieved me of the burden.
"Morgan!" She called again. "Morgan, come on already!"
Something was weird about this, though. The whole thing felt strange, and even a slight bit nostalgic. Was this a memory?
As I heard her call out my name one last time, I pushed away my doubts and decided to just enjoy her presence while it lasted. I ran towards her as fast as I could, arms open wide and ready to sweep her off her feet. Once I did, I was granted the privilege of seeing her smile again. Her amazing, beautiful smile that I had gone without for these passed couple of years...
"I missed you, Suri..."
"You haven't been gone for that long," she said with a laugh. "I just wanted to pick you up from work today because it's a special occasion."
"Special occasion?" I shot her a questioning glance.
"I have big news for you."
I felt my heart skip a beat. Big news? Yeah...this is definitely a memory...but what was she going to tell me? I can't seem to remember...
"Morgan, let's hurry home."
I guess I'll just have to wait and see..
+++
I don't know how it happened, but before I realized it, my wife and I had reached our home in Aobasani. Upon entering the house, Suri told me to wait around while she finished setting the table for the large dinner she had prepared, simply for the occasion of delivering the "big news" to me. Even when I offered to help her, she insisted that she wanted to do it by herself. As I watched her swiftly and skillfully place the plates, glasses, and food dishes neatly out on the kitchen table, I couldn't help but notice how happy she seemed. She was humming her favorite lullaby while she worked diligently, and a smile never did leave her pretty face...
"Never growing, always small, but her heart's size tops them all, she is gentle, fragile, mild, she is the forever child. Walking bravely through the snow, always smiling without fail, though she's lonely, she still knows, love will break through and prevail."
"This is quite the dinner you've made," I said once Suri had finally sat down. I gazed at all the wonderful things spread out on the kitchen table and couldn't help but feel proud of her. I had almost forgotten what a talented cook Suri was, and the more I thought of it, the hungrier I became. I glanced at Suri, and she nodded, as if to say, "Go ahead. Dig in."
So I did. And just as I had expected, everything was absolutely delicious. Oh, how I am blessed to have such a wonderful wife... "So what did you want to tell me?" I asked her, fighting back the stupid grin that was tugging at my mouth.
Suri looked away from me for a second as she took off her glasses, placing them carefully down beside her. She then gazed into my eyes and smiled, more softly this time. It was a gentle smile, filled with love and gratitude. "Morgan..." She whispered, and a tear began to form in one of her beautiful green eyes. "You're...I mean, I..." She pressed her lips together and took in a deep breath through her nose, then said quietly, "You're going to be a father, Morgan."
I could've sworn that in that moment, I had never felt such joy in all of my life. I took Suri's hands in mine and held them with care. It took all the strength I had in me not to cry. But even if I did cry, it would have been okay. I was brimming with happiness. Hanako once told me that I could only cry if it was with tears of joy. Although he sounded strict when he said this, I knew he only meant well. He hated seeing me sad. I threw my arms around Suri and hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go. I wished that the two of us could have stayed this way forever. However, I had to remind myself that this was only a dream. It would soon be over...and I would once again be without my wife. With that thought in mind, I knew I had to cherish this moment while it lasted.
"I love you, Suri..."
"I love you, too, Morgan."
+++
I remembered going to sleep in my dream, but when I awoke, my dream had not gone away, but rather changed its time. It was now four months later. Although it was a strange, uncomfortable feeling, I pushed it aside and decided to continue enjoying the presence of my wife...
I looked to my left, then to my right, but she wasn't there. Immediately I began to panic. Frantically I searched for my phone and dialed her number, then waited impatiently for her to reply.
"Hello?"
Oh, thank goodness... "Suri, why didn't you tell me you were going out? I nearly had a heart attack."
Suri began laughing delightedly as she listened to my heavy sigh of relief. "I did tell you," she said. "I told you late last night that I would be going out with a couple of friends today. You must've been half asleep or something, I guess. But anyway, I'm sorry I worried you. I'll be back before dinner, okay?"
Listening to her voice made me feel relaxed. "Alright. I'll see you then." After clicking the 'end call' button on my phone, I tossed it aside and fell back onto my bed, staring thoughtfully up at the pale green ceiling. "It's been four months..." I said aloud. "I still haven't given much thought to this whole 'being a father' thing. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Think of a name? Read a handbook? Stock up on diapers? Ugh..." I raised my arm and stared at the back of my hand, then watched as I repeatedly opened and closed my fist. "This has happened before...hasn't it? This is a memory, so why can't I remember what to do in this situation?"
All of a sudden my phone began to buzz. It rattled against my wooden bureau as it sounded, the light on the screen notifying that I had received a text message. Curious as to who would be texting me at this hour, I quickly leaned over and grabbed my phone, then unlocked it to read the message.
From: Connie
Subject: Hint
Go look in the guest room of your house. I believe you'll find what you're looking for there.
"The guest room? But how will that help me?" I was just about to send these questions to Connie via text message, but my phone suddenly shut itself off before I had the chance to do so. "So she's not going to help me...oh, well. I guess I might as well check it out."
I left my room and made my way down the hall until I reached the guest room, which was basically just an empty room other than a small bed and a couple of small furnishes. I opened the door cautiously, then poked my head through the opening. Upon stepping into the room, I received a strange sensation that triggered an idea to blossom in my mind.
"No one stays here," I whispered to myself. "We're going to be having a child...which means...a nursery would certainly be helpful.....that's it!" I slammed my fist down in the palm of my hand, a feeling of excitement and pride washing over me like a giant wave. "I'll surprise Suri...I'll transform this room into a nursery for our child."
Unable to resist this sudden urge to make my dream a reality, I got to work immediately. Luckily Suri had been picked up by her friend, so my car was still parked outside the house, making it possible for me to drive to the nearest department store and pick up the supplies I needed for remodeling the guest room. I made sure to get buckets of paint, blue and green because they were Suri's favorite colors, as well as a few other materials for constructing a crib. My father was a carpenter, and I had been around him long enough to learn how to properly handle a hammer and nails. Even with my confidence in the field of carpentry, I still thought it would be best to purchase a manual just so that I could get every step done perfectly. After all, this crib was eventually going to be holding my first child. It had to be perfect.
No matter how difficult this project would end up being, I made it my life's mission to keep it a secret from Suri. She never had any guests over to begin with, so I figure it wouldn't be too much trouble. All I had to do was make sure she was out of the house whenever I wanted to work in there.
Time seemed to fly by in this dream I was having, and I found myself thoroughly enjoying every second of it. The nursery project proved to be both enjoyable and worth all the effort, for as time went on, it started to look better and better. It was eight months after Suri had given me the news, and the nursery was nearly finished. To be completely honest with myself, I was proud of all I had done. Even though I was only able to work on it when I got home from my job and on days I had off, I had still managed to put a lot of hours into it. The walls had been painted a light shade of blue, tiny stars and other decorations placed in a neat line along its center. The floor was covered in a green carpet that was soft to the touch. Near the corner of the room was a little dresser that would soon be containing my child's clothes. I had taken the liberty of purchasing several picture frames and placed them on the dresser, hoping that their empty frames could one day hold photographs of our family.
Oh, and a scrapbook. Yeah, I'm one of those people...
Last of all, there was the baby's crib. I had completed it just the other day, and looking at it now, I had to admit it turned out pretty good. I had made sure to cut the wood nice and clean so that painting it wouldn't be such a hard task. I ran my finger along the edge of it and smiled, seeing that none of the white paint showed up on my skin. It had dried. The inside of the crib was already covered in a soft cushion. I had placed a couple of small pillows and a stuffed animal inside of it, too, and they both made nice additions.
Today was the day I would be applying the final addition to the nursery. It was a banner that would spell out a welcome to our new child. Our son. I had asked Suri about what she wanted to name our son, and she didn't answer my question until just recently. I honesty loved the name she came up with, and I was eager to see how it would look like hanging above the crib.
It wasn't a difficult task to complete. In fact, it took merely minutes to hang the banner with golden letters printed onto its surface. I took a step back and gazed proudly at both the banner and the crib. My heart was nearly ready to leap out of my chest. All the hard work I had put into completing the nursery had finally payed off. I could just imagine the surprised look on Suri's face when she walked through that door, able to see the finished product at last.
I walked over to the door and stopped in my tracks, replaying those three little words over and over in my mind, making myself long the day when I would be able to hear my wife say them aloud:
"Welcome home, Hiro..."
+++
It was only a matter of time now before our child was to be born. I had been anticipating the day ever since Suri had given me the news, but now that it was growing closer, I was beginning to grow anxious, and even a little self-conscious. Am I even ready for this? What if I won't be a good enough father? What if I end up disappointing Suri? I shuddered at these thoughts and did my best to push them aside and focus on the pluses. I'm going to have a son. I'll have even more responsibilities now, but I know it'll be okay. As long as I have Suri by my side, the two of us can raise Hiro together.
The more I thought about, the more excited I became. I wanted so badly to see Suri holding our baby boy in her arms, smiling happily at the newest addition to our family. It filled me with joy like I had never felt before, and I wanted to be able to share this joy with her. And maybe...maybe one day I would be able to share it with Hanako, too. I hoped that I could make him proud.
"It's only a matter of time..." I told myself. "Only a matter of time..."
Suri had been going out of the house at least twice a week lately, apparently to visit a friend from college who had experience with having and taking care of children. Suri had asked me several times if this was okay with me, and each time I told her that all I wanted was what was best for her. To be honest, it got a little lonely in the house when she was gone, but I managed.
I sat alone in my dining room after I had come home from work that day, patiently waiting for my wife to walk through the door after her day out. She wasn't usually gone this late, so I admit it made me a little concerned, but I convinced myself it was probably nothing.
By the time ten o'clock swung around I found myself frantically pacing back in forth in front of where I had once been sitting, wondering just what might have been keeping her so long. "It's probably just traffic," I said aloud. "Yeah...traffic..." Even though I told myself this, I just had to make sure. I hurriedly took out my phone and dialed Suri's number, then waited anxiously for the sound of her voice.
I received no answer.
I called a second time, but once again, she never picked up the phone.
What's going on? I wondered. Why isn't she answering? Is her phone turned off? No...no she would never do something like that...she knows how easily worried I can get. So what gives?
All of a sudden my phone began to ring, startling me to the point of nearly dropping it. I pressed the 'answer call' button and held the phone up to my ear, then blurted in an urgent voice, "Hello? Who's this?"
"Morgan Owens? Oh, thank goodness you answered."
What's this? I don't recognize this voice... "To whom am I speaking?"
"My name is Liz. I'm a nurse at the St. Silonet Hospital in east Aobasani. I'm here with your wife right now and she's ready to have your child. However, I'm afraid I do have some bad news to report as well. I'd appreciate it if you would come down to the hospital, Mr. Owens."
I could've sworn I stopped breathing for at least a minute. I stared at my phone and listened as Liz repeatedly called my name, hoping that I was merely imagining everything that was going on. "Bad news...?" I whispered. "What do you mean? What happened to my Suri?"
"Your wife requested your presence and cooperation at this time, Mr. Owens. Please report to the hospital immediately for her sake, and for the sake of your child."
I didn't hesitate to do as she asked. Knowing that Suri had taken my car with her, I set out for the hospital on foot, using every last ounce of energy I had in me to get there as fast as possible.
Suri needs me...she needs me by her side...I can't let her down...I won't let her down. I have to see her holding Hiro in her arms. I have to be by her side as she walks through our front door carrying him, and I have to see the look on her face when she finally sees the result of all the hard work I've put into that nursery. I can't let this get away from me...
+++
It seemed liked forever before I finally reached the hospital, and even longer before I arrived at the room where my wife was. Nurse Liz asked if she could speak to me before I entered the room, claiming that it was urgent and I should listen attentively.
"Mr. Owens, were you aware that your wife was suffering from an illness? Your expression tells me that the answer is no. Well, I'm sorry to inform you that both your wife and your baby boy are now physically affected by that illness. I'm afraid that neither of them have much longer to live. Possibly hours...maybe even minutes...so I suggest you go in there and see them while you can. Again, I'm sorry, but I don't think that there's anything left our doctors can do."
"I understand. Thank you."
It took everything I had to keep myself together. I entered that room expecting to see Suri in tears, but instead I found her propped up on the hospital bed, smiling proudly at our baby boy. "Look at him, Morgan," she said. "Just look at his precious little face. He reminds me a lot of you." She laughed quietly and gestured for me to come over. When I did, Suri lifted up the baby's head so that I could get a better look. Even with the knowledge of my child's sickness, I couldn't help but smile at its peaceful face. It wasn't crying. It wasn't making any sound at all. It just lay there, quiet as a mouse in Suri's arms. "He's beautiful, isn't he?"
"Yeah..." I carefully slipped my hands underneath the baby and began cradling him gently. "Hiro...it's a perfect name for him. Hiro Owens..."
"Morgan, are you crying?"
I hadn't even realized it until I saw a tear land on Hiro's face. I wanted to wipe my eyes to hide the fact that I was crying, but I didn't have a free hand. "I-...of course I'm crying..." I inhaled sharply and tried to relax my ragged breathing, but it didn't help. "I'm happy...that's why...I'm crying..."
"You're not happy...are you?"
Suri could see right through me. She knew by now the difference between my emotions. She could sense when I was putting on a false smile. She could tell whenever I was feeling down but wouldn't admit it. Just like she did now...she knew I was lying.
"Morgan, please don't be sad," she said. "Our son is fine. Just look at him."
"But the nurse said-"
"Forget about what the nurse said. I can accept that I have the sickness, but as long as I'm alive, I refuse to believe that Hiro is suffering from it, too. He's fine. He's healthy. Just believe that."
I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. I sat down on the bed beside Suri and stared at Hiro's face, desperately fighting the urge to hold the baby closer to my chest. He was too fragile. Fragile and sick. Suri was in denial, yet I knew she was well aware of the truth. She was stronger than me. Much, much stronger. I felt ashamed of myself...absolutely ashamed. "Suri, I'm so sorry..."
"Don't say that," she whispered. "Please don't say that. You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? Nothing. There was nothing either of us could have done to avoid this. Some things are just meant to be. Who knows, maybe this will eventually lead to something good. Maybe you'll find someone who could be a better wife to you..."
"I don't want anyone else!" I turned my head to face her, tears still falling from my eyes. "And how could you even say that? You've been the best wife I could have ever asked for! I don't want anyone else. I don't want you to leave me-...alone..."
Suri placed her hand on mine and looked deeply into my eyes, her expression filled with love and sympathy. "You'll never be alone," she said. "Just remember, Morgan. Hanako is still out there. As long as you live and breathe, you still have a chance of seeing your best friend again. I want you to do that for me. My dying wish is for you to fulfill your dream."
"Suri-"
"Please, Morgan," she interrupted, her voice nearly breaking as she strained to speak. "Please do this for me. I can guarantee that Hanako is wandering without a purpose now, whether you believe it or not. He needs you just as much as you need him. So find Hanako and do your best to take care of him. If you can promise you'll at least try, that'll be good enough for me. So...what do you say, my love? Do you think you can do it?"
I tried to smile. I really did. But the smile I had begun to form simply cracked instantly, and my head fell sorrowfully. "I'll do it!" I cried. "I promise I will! I'll find Hanako no matter what it takes, and I'll protect him. You can count on me!"
"Thank you, Morgan...for loving me..."
There was a sudden, sharp beeping sound that caused my focus to snap, and my head shot up in a panic. "S-Suri?" My eyes darted to the machine she was hooked up to, and I immediately noticed that something was wrong. "Hey, Suri, can you hear me?" I fixed my gaze on Suri's peaceful face, which now suddenly seemed unusually pale. My whole body tensed up with fear. Carefully holding Hiro with one arm, I used the other to gently shake Suri. "Suri? Suri! Open your eyes, Suri!" It was no use. She wasn't responding. Even still, I couldn't stop myself. I continued to shout out her name, anxiously waiting for her to speak up. But she never did. I looked down at my baby boy and felt my heart shatter a second time. He wasn't breathing.
It was soon after this that several doctors rushed into the room and ordered me to leave. I didn't want to leave, but I had no choice. Everything was over for me anyway. In the blink of an eye, both Suri and Hiro's lives were taken. And I was left with what felt like a hundred shards of glass wedged into my heart. I felt so hurt. So lonely. So...so...empty.
"Everyone I love is being taken away from me. It's not fair..."
•••
"You're the devil, Connie. No...no, you're far worse than that. I thought you were going to help me! How could you put me through that? How could you make me relive such a traumatizing memory? How could you?!"
"I wanted to see how you would react in a situation such as the one you just experienced." Connie's eyes were filled with a sense of superiority. Not a hint of sympathy. She didn't appear to feel sorry for what she did to me at all. "But I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that you passed the first test. Congratulations, Hiro. That's what you're calling yourself now, right? Because you don't like putting your trust in others."
"Shut up!" I shouted. "That's none of your business! And I could care less about passing the test! What you did was heartless, and I can never forgive you!"
"You promised your wife that you would find Hanako no matter what."
Connie's words struck yet another shard of glass into my heart, making my chest fall due to the increase in pain. "I...I did..."
"Right, so I don't really see the issue here." Her voice seemed rather cocky now, but I was too out of breath to care. "I'm giving you the opportunity of a lifetime. I'm using my own precious time to train you. Therefore, I'm going to do it my way. Do you understand? Or would you rather let your sweet wife's dying wish wither away along with the rest of her body?"
She really was the devil. Levin had told me that she was the first and most powerful demon of the Midnight Legion, but never had I expected she would be like this. Horrible. Frightening. Cruel. Manipulative. All the characteristics of someone you do not want to mess with. In the situation I was in now, how could I refuse?
"Whatever," I muttered. "Is there another test I've got to get through? Or are we done here?"
"Oh, there are several more tests, I'm afraid," she said, but again, she didn't seem the least bit apologetic. "The second test involves a new and exciting experience. Not a memory, but a probable scenario."
"Probable...scenario?"
"Yes. I wish you luck, Hiro."