Sunday
I'm woken up by a small shake but I cant muster the strength to open my eyes. Im so tired.
"Jia~ You awake?" I hear Tae whisper. I grunt to let him know I can hear him. "Me and Jiminie have to go to practise today. But we'll try and come see you later if we can" his voice wasn't far from me. "Okay" I mumbled, my sleepiness making it hard to understanding what he said at all. "Okay, enjoy your sleep in" Jimin whispered sweetly. I snuggled back into the softness of my sheets, the sound of my door closing behind them was the last thing I heard before I fell back asleep.
The next time I roused my head felt clearer. I propped myself up against the headboard and looked around.
Oh. That's right.
I'd been expecting to see my apartment but, alas, I was reminded that wasn't the case anymore.
The walls were dark wooden boards, so was the floor. It would've been a colder vibe if it wasn't for all of my belongings filling the space making it seem more cosy. My white rug was covering most of the floorspace, the desk was against the back wall. It was right of me but across from the door. The bed I sat on was pushed into the corner and on the other wall beside the desk was a built in wardrobe.
There was a long thin slit of a window that ran across the back wall behind my bed and the desk where light shone in. It wasn't much but it was enough. Part of me still felt like none of this was real. But, now that some time and the initial shock had passed the gravity of the situation had set in. The aches in my body served as a constant reminder.
I'd been raped. Jungkook had somehow come to try and save me. I think. Then, shit got worse. Lastly, Jin showed up and shot someone. Because of that we'd walked away.
I felt a bone chilling shiver run down my spine. Jin had been a part of my friends group this entire time it seemed. Not only that, but, there seemed to be some really dangerous things happening. Yoongi selling coke. Which, he still hasn't explained. Jin… And even Jungkook, how did he learn how to fight like that? Was this normal for Idols?
No. It wasn't.
Jin's words yesterday rang in my mind, he'd mentioned something about crime which implied they were in fact a gang or criminals of some sort. This much I'd surmised but, this hadn't just happened overnight. I hadn't known a thing about this until I got caught up with that psycho. At that point I guess there were things they just couldn't keep from me.
It posed the question, after thinking I knew them, thinking we were close, I'm hit with something like this. They had kept it from me. Lied essentially.
But, so did I.
I kept things from them so, I could understand why. Everything else they've done for me has been to help or protect me. It had come from a good place, not malice or with the intention of hurting me.
Knowing that, I needed to decide. Staying by their side would surely come with a risk if they were involved in drugs or whatever else I didn't know about yet.
My mind continued to tick over as I got up, showered and then grabbed a can of coffee from the fridge and sat down at the table.
I was supposed to work tonight at the hostess club but, I knew that couldn't happen. I made a phone call to Yoona and let her know I was quitting. She sounded disappointed but accepted it and proceeded to send me my final pay. I sat there at the table sipping at my coffee, alone. Even so, the silence was so loud.
It was 5:20 pm. I just want my head to shut up.
What could I do?
I stood up and decided to have a walk around so I made my way down the stairs. As I descended I reached another landing which resembled the one above. After I saw just a few more empty rooms I went down again. At the bottom there was a hallway which led back to the VIP bar on the balcony of the club. I peered over the railing. It was dead silent and not a soul in sight.
I went over behind the bar and took out a bottle of soju and poured a shot. It helped in settling my nerves. I had a few more as I sat there alone. Before I knew it I'd finished the bottle so I grabbed another.
A lot of this was my fault.
I knew it.
I was stupid.
Desperate.
I still am desperate.
How was I going to pay for school?
I didn't want to think about it.
I'd nearly died.
I didn't want to think about it.
I took another shot and stood up. My head spins. I want fresh air. I feel like I haven't been outside in so long.
I stumbled down to the basement where the main dance floor was and slipped behind the stage. Continued down a corridor until I reached the back door. Beside the door was a key hanging on the wall. I tried using it on the door and it worked so I slipped outside making sure to lock the back door behind me. I tucked the key in to my pocket. The sun was starting to set and the air tasted so fresh.
I didn't know where I was going but I just needed to get away from myself. I strolled down the street, noises of cars and people as they passed by.
Were they clueless to the cruel truths of this world?
Did they know what kind of evils lurked just beyond the shadows?
Street lamps lit the walkway like blurry stars. The revving of an engine got louder.
No wait? Those were headlights and they were coming right at me fast.
My body was thrown aside with such force. The pavement hit me hard. But, it hadn't been from the force of the car. Someone had pushed me out of the way, I scrambled to sit up. The glimpse of the devil behind the wheel made my blood run cold. Screeching hit my ears as he sped off. It had only been a split second but I knew it was him. Dae.
As I glanced back to the road I saw a figure sprawled out. My heart stopped. Yoongi lay there, clutching his shoulder, writhing in agony.
Fuck.
My knee stung as I tried to get up.
I need to get to him.
"Yoongi" My voice trembled as I limped over, he looked up to me, clutching his shoulder, battered with his clothes torn.
Fuck.
What do I do.
I looked around, there were people who were pointing in shock from the sidewalk. I saw a taxi coming. I held out my hand and shouted to hail it. The driver helped me get Yoongi in the car and drove us to the hospital.
Panic raced through my heart as I sat in the back seat, I didn't know how badly he was hurt. I'm so scared. Yoongi sat there eyes screwed shut, breathing heavily. Clinging to his shoulder.
When we got there I rushed him in to emergency and the nurses took him away. I sat in the waiting room, unable to calm the adrenaline still pumping though me.
I needed to tell someone.
I called Jin.
He told me to sit tight and wait until he got there.
A small wave of relief washed over me as I saw Jin burst through the emergency room doors. He had a cold look in his eyes as they landed on me.
"What happened? Are you alright? Where's Yoongi?" Jin rushed over and sat in the seat beside me. Eyes locked onto mine.
"Yoongi is inside, I haven't heard anything. I think he hurt his shoulder" Worry flickered though his gaze, it was masked with a cold front but he couldn't hide it from me.
"I was taking a walk to clear my head, next thing a knew a car was headed towards me…" I gulped thickly "Then, out of nowhere Yoongi pushed me out of the way…" I took a deep shaky breath. I was still rattled. Yet again, I'd nearly come within inches of losing my life.
Jin's gaze softened slightly, he silently took a moment to look me up and down. "Your knees" he reached down and gently pulled the fabric of my torn leggings back. I'd completely forgot I'd grazed them in the panic.
"Excuse me. Could you get a Nurse to patch up my friend. She's grazed her knees badly" Jin pulled aside one of the Nurses who after taking a quick look went off to get some bandages.
There was a moments silence between us. Flashes crossed my mind. "Daesung. He's the one who hit Yoongi" As it came back to me the words tumbled out.
"Are you sure?" Jin turned to look at me apprehensively. "I'm sure".
I could feel Jin tense up from beside me. This was fucked up. There was no other way to put it.
"Jia. You can't tell anyone else about this. About the car accident, about it being Daesung" Jin sturdily turned to me. "Why not?" I questioned.
"Because. If the others find out it'll only make them mad. Tension is already so high with what happened to you, if they find out about Yoongi that will be the tipping point. They won't stand back and let it slide. And if we retaliate, so will they, things will only get worse for everyone" Jin's words washed over like an epiphany. He was right.
But it also meant we'd have to lie to the others…
Would more lies and secrecy really be the answer?
Wasn't that what had led to me being…
I snapped out of my thoughts as the Nurse returned to patch me up. She was kind and gentle, Jin had a little joke with her and it lightened my mood slightly.
Straight afterwards a doctor came out and called us in to see Yoongi. My stomach dropped as we followed behind him down a corridor toward where his room was. Not knowing what kind of condition he was in was making me more anxious.
"Your friend is just in here. He's sustained a fracture in his shoulder. He's very lucky that was all despite the severity of the accident. But, he will still need to rest and recover properly. No strenuous activity. Heavy lifting. Anything that might put strain on his shoulder. I've spoken with him so he'll be able to share further details with you. I'll need him to stay a few more hours but after that he can be discharged tonight".
Jin and I thanked the doctor after he spoke with us about Yoongi and his condition. After that he left us to go in and see how he was doing.
As Jin and I entered the room we saw Yoongi hauled up on a hospital bed. He looked over to us, expression blank.
"You've seen better days" Jin says as he approaches the bedside. "Yeah. That fucker from YG has some nerve" Yoongi snorted. I stood beside Jin, unsure of what to say.
"Yoongi. He'll get what's coming to him. Mark my words. But-" Jin was cut off as Yoongi seemingly read his mind. "We can't tell the others. It'll only be throwing fuel onto the fire".
Jin gave a curt nod. Yoongis gaze fell to me. "Are you okay?" He asked. I shifted uncomfortably as I stood there.
"I'm fine… thanks to you…" I felt guilt wash over me. How could he sit there in that shape, face as straight as an arrow and ask how I am.
"The doctor said you can leave in a few hours. Jia, stay here with Yoongi until then. You two should stay at the club tonight, if you come back to the dorms looking like that everyone will know. In the meantime, I'll deal with them so they don't get suspicious" Jin's makeshift plan seemed legitimate so I agreed.
Jin bent down and places a kiss on top my head and gave a short wave to Yoongi before turning to leave.
"Thanks, See ya later Hyung" Yoongi called out before Jin closed the door behind him. I went and sat down on a chair on the other side of the bed. It was silent for a while, I tried to swallow down my guilt but it just kept building.
Yoongi looked at me plainly as though reading me like a book.
"What's wrong?" It wasn't until Yoongi spoke that my emotions over flowed.
"I'm really sorry, all of the shit happened because of me" My voice struggled between choked up sobs.
"Come closer, I need to tell you something important" Yoongi said softly.
I wiped at my watery eyes with the back on my sleeve as I stood up. I got a grip as I breathed through my nose.
"What is it?" My voice still shaky. Yoongi just beckoned me closer with the fluid movement of his hand calmly. I bent down closer as he slowly moved in, as thought telling me a secret but- I was left stunned as his lips diverged and pressed against mine. It was so quick but held such ferocity.
"I don't give a fuck about any of that. The only thing that matters is that you are alright. Got it?" He'd pulled away. His deep voice resonates against my lips making me quiver.
"Yoongi that's so messed up" Tears began to spill, his words wringing my heart dry. How the hell could he say that.
"Please stop crying. Seeing you like this hurts me way more than getting hit by that car" Yoongi cupped my face and wiped my cheeks with his thumb.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry so I awkwardly did both before kneeling down and burying my head into his lap. I felt him gently play with my hair for a few minutes, it helped calm me down, it always did.
"You should probably get off your knees or you're going to hurt them more" His deep voice cut through the silence. He was right. I sat up and got back in my chair. Just then a nurse came in and told us that he was being discharged.
It was well past midnight by now. Yoongi and I took a taxi back to the club. We managed to slip back upstairs without running in to anyone on the way. I put together some kimchi fried rice for us to have for dinner, he had trouble eating because of his shoulders so I helped. A small blush crept up on his cheeks as I held the spoon up to his lips. I didn't know if it was out of embarrassment or he secretly was enjoying it, either way it melted me seeing him this vulnerable. It was a rare sight indeed so I savoured the cute moment like this with him.
I ran a bath for him and lent him a baggy shirt and pants for him to change into. I was worried he might struggle but he managed just fine. I stacked all the pillows up on the headboard seeing as he needed to sleep upright to support his shoulder. Yoongi climbed in first, letting out a big sigh as he settled back and got comfortable.
"Is that okay? Do you need me to move any of the pillows?" I asked as I carefully sat down on the edge of the bed.
"It's alright. Hey Jia" Yoongi broke into a small smile. "What is it?" I questioned, unsure of what was so amusing.
"You always tell me what good boyfriend material I am, but, turns out you're way more cut out for it than me" he gave a soft chuckle. "Huh? No…" I laughed awkwardly, what was he trying to say?!
"It's sweet of you. Actually, you've always been like this" Yoongi went on, voice softening.
"Please stop, or are you trying to make me cry again?" I shifted into bed beside him and looked up into his face. "Ah. I don't know what I'm trying to do. You're right, it's too sappy isn't it?" Yoongi gave a sigh, tiny smile still plastered across his lips. I closed my eyes and burrowed further into my pillow.
"I like it when you tell me things. It's just that you rarely do it… So when you do…" I explained. Eyes closing. I waited to hear his voice, that tone he spoke in.
"Let's get some rest. We've both had a rough day" Yoongi shifted slightly from beside me.
"Okay, night Yoongi" I curled up a bit closer to his thigh, like a kitten nested comfortably before it falls asleep.
"Sweet dreams baby"