Wednesday
I woke up this morning on a mission. I had to try to talk to Joon sometime today. We hadn't spoken since the fight and I had no idea if he was pissed off at me or not. I was scared that he might be but, I had to try...
Before I left for class I decided to send him a text. My entire body felt like jelly from the nerves, not knowing how he'd respond... My stomach sank as I pressed the send button.
Jia: Joon, can we talk at lunch today?
I shoved my phone into the pocket of my jeans and left the house. I was so distracted by my thoughts that I nearly spilt my coffee off the desk during class. As the seconds ticked by, it was agonising waiting for my phone to vibrate. I swear my heart nearly fell out of my ass when it finally did.
I held off a couple more minutes seeing as class was nearly done to pull out my phone. Joons name was on the screen. Again, that weak feeling overcame me.
It's gonna be okay, just do it.
Joon: Yeah, can you meet me outside the studio?
Jia: Okay, I'll be there in 20
I clicked my phone shut and left the classroom. My head felt cloudy as I walked out of the building. With each step I took closer to the studio building, the nerves built little by little. It was no easy task to front my fears. I saw Joon sitting on a bench beside the entrance, he was leaned forward, gaze directed down at the concrete beneath his feet. I took a deep breath and went over to him, it wasn't until I was right in front of him that he looked up at me. I was met with wide eyes.
"Hey" I cracked a faint smile as I tried to break the ice.
"Hey" he echoed my words. I sat on the bench beside Joon, taking a moment to calm my nerves before I spoke but he beat me to it.
"I'm sorry Jia" he stared back at the ground as he spoke.
"No. I'm the one that should be sorry. I wanted to tell you what was going on but I was scared it would hurt you" I fiddled with my hands in my lap as I sat there. Joon slowly looked over at me.
"That's-" he let out a tense breath. "You don't have to apologise for that. You did tell me, not in so many words but, you made it clear. We were friends".
I ran a hand through my hair and looked up at him. He wasn't mad?
"Not gonna lie I was shocked at first but, the point is, you had nothing to do with what happened between Hob and me. I'm so sorry that I dragged you into it" Joon slowly reaches for my clasped together hands, I relinquished them and he hold my hand in his own.
"No, it's okay. I'm just glad you're not mad at me.." I gave his hand a small reassuring squeeze. Joon repositioned himself so his legs were crossed and he faced me, his hand still in my lap.
"I'm not mad, but, fuck things are a mess right now" Creases formed across his forehead.
"Hoseok said he quit. Is it true?" I asked. He looked away. "Yeah," he mumbled under his breath.
"You can't let him. I don't know what the issue is but, I just have this feeling... Like an intuitive feeling. You guys need to stick this thing out together." I don't know if what I was saying sounded ridiculous to Joon or not but his gaze steadily returned to me.
"I dono. I want him to come back and I'm going to try to talk to him but, I need some time to think. I'm going to my hometown over winter break to visit my family. So it'll have to wait until I get back." A felt a small wave of relief, if Joon wanted Hoseok back on the team then not all hope was lost.
"Okay.. I'll be waiting right here for you then" I broke into a small smile. Joon gave a tsk and shook his head. "It's so hard to resist kissing you, I get why Hobi is so into you".
I felt dumbstruck as I stare at him. I swallowed hard. "Don't resist. Just kiss me".
Joons gape glazes over then he leans closer. The fresh scent of mint hit my nose. His hand cups my cheek, he kisses me softly. A light fresh breeze blows by and whips my hair. The fragility and innocents of youth. My mind whizzes around like that breeze does in the moment. As Joon pulls away I'm left wide-eyed and wordless. "I should get going..".
I gave a small nod and watched as he stood up. The tension I'd carried with me all morning seemed to dissipate as I watched him leave.
I spent the rest of my day studying for exams which were less than a week away. I'd hauled myself up in the library for most of the day.
By the time I noticed the sun had set I was exhausted. I'd been so preoccupied that I'd forgotten to have lunch. It wasn't until I was walking home that I'd even thought of food. The grumbles in my stomach made it hard to ignore so I made a small detour and stopped by the food stall to grab some takeaway.
The Ajusshi that was always there greeted me and asked for my order. I decided on a couple of chicken skewers and a bottle of Soju to take home with me. As he looked at me for longer than was usually considered normal it kind of gave me deja vu. I shook it off, no more than ten minutes had passed until he'd finished and I collected my order. It was straight home for me now.
As soon as I got home I had a shower and changed into some shorts and a baggy jumper. After I was comfortable I finally sat down to eat. I had 2 or 3 shots, just enough to take off the nerve. I turned all the lights off and crawled into bed, the faint sound of cars passing by in the distance but it was mostly quiet. As I lay there, eyes closed, an unnerving sound cut through the silence.
It was coming from the balcony window... I froze. A rattle of the door handle... Holy fuck. Did I lock it? I can't remember.
I tried to take deep breaths and get my body to move. After a moment the sound stopped but the rapid pace my heart was racing hasn't.
I reached for my phone, I didn't know what I was doing but I call the first name I see.
"Yoongi.." I whispered as he picked up.
"Huh? What's wrong? Why're you whispering?" He replied.
"I dono, I think someone's trying to break into my apartment... I'm so scared" I kept my voice hushed, I had no idea if that person outside was still there or not but I didn't want to find out.
"Fuck. Really? Shit... Wait I'm coming straight there" Yoongi hung up. As I lay in bed stiff with lingering fear I caught a glimpse of a shadow through the blinds. I didn't dare to look. I shut my eyes and breathed. Nothing like this had ever happened before, I don't know what to do.
A heavy knock on my door snapped me out of paralysis. I got out of bed and went to my door. Through the peephole, a distressed-looking Yoongi stood. I opened up my door, he rushed in and closed it behind him.
"Yoongi.." I'd never felt so relieved in my life. All the fear and stress I'd been holding was overwhelming. Tears started spilling down my cheeks as I looked at him standing in front of me.
"It's alright." Yoongi pulled me into him roughly. He held my face tightly into his chest but I couldn't stop crying. The dampness collected between my face and his black shirt.
Yoongi slowly, still holding me, walked me back into the bedroom. I waddled along slowly with him my face still buried into him. As we reached the bedside he pulled my face away from his chest and looked down at me.
"You alright?" He asked softly.
"I don't know... Kinda... Please don't leave me.."
"I won't. C'mon, Hop into bed" he slid his shoes off and climbed in first, settling propped up against the headboard. I sat down on the edge of the bed, hesitant, Yoongi reached out his hand. I took it, he tugged me over into his arms. I rested my head against his damp shirt and closed my eyes.
"So.. What happened..?" His deep voice asked. I let out a small breath as I recounted the unnerving noises I heard and the shadow I'd seen... Yoongi stayed silent, only the faint rustling of him gently massaging my ear could be heard.
I took a moment thinking back over what had happened... Maybe someone was breaking into houses in the neighbourhood... Then again, It was the middle of the city... "Do you think I should call the police?" I stammered.
"I don't think they can do anything unless someone gets in... If it happens again call me. Alright?" His voice was husky but gentle. It was making me sleepy...
"Mm... Okay, Yoongi" I whispered. Unable to stop myself from falling further into a trance.
I lay there cradled in the warmth of his arms. It was safe. Yoongi had been the one I'd run to when I felt sacred. He'd been the one to look after me when I needed it... Yoongi never judged me, even when I told him things I was terrified to tell other people. Was it selfish of me to burden him with my baggage? To put it on him like this? Not once had he ever asked me for anything in return. He's just been there for me unconditionally. It stirred sentiments inside me. Sentiments I was scares to indulge in.