Thursday
I'd woken up to a sleepy Jimin softly poking my cheek. As I roused I was still comfortably tangled in a hug with Tae. Jungkook was fast asleep beside Jimin, he looked so innocent as he lightly snored. We all took our time getting up and ready to head to Uni together. My classes passed by quickly and it was 4 O'clock before I knew it.
I headed home and decided to check my emails for any job replies but there was nothing. It was disheartening. And it brought me back to the idea of applying at the club. A moment's silence hung in the air as I thought about it…
Lately, I'd been trying to distract myself with other things but the fact was I needed to deal with this now. If I didn't, things would be much harder for me in the future. it was time I fronted up with myself about it and stopped avoiding my problems. Time to make moves.
I grabbed the flyer out of my bag, picked up my phone and started to dial the contact number. A lady who quickly introduced herself as Yoona answered after the second dial tone. I asked her about the job opening and if they were still looking for someone. She asked me my age and if I was studying at the moment, she seemed to be pleased with my answers. Yoona requested I come into the club in a few hours for a trial. Even though it was sudden I agreed to it. The sooner the better in my case. The call ended and I had about two hours before I was expected to show up, so I decided to start getting ready.
I put on a cute pleated skirt along with a tight knitted white skivvy top and some low heels. I wasn't completely sure what the attire should be. But, I was sure that going there in a hoodie and jeans might not be in my best interest. I grabbed a classy beige trench coat, wrapped it around myself to shield myself from the chill of the night and made my way to the club.
The evening felt early as I watched the light blue fade into midnight hues across the skies. The cool air that brushed my face as I approached the bar was refreshing. A small excitement and curiosity bubbled as I entered the lobby.
The reception desk was only manned by one guy who smiled as he greeted me. As soon as I approached the desk a middle-aged lady who I assumed to be the manager came up to ask how she could be of assistance. I mentioned that I was the girl who had called in regards to the job position only hours ago. The lady introduced herself as Yoona the manager, she seemed kind and professional as she lead me further into the club so that we could discuss the job requirements in more detail.
As we passed through the club lounge the interior design instantly caught my attention. It was elegant drapes of black and red with leather couch booths and black marble floors. It was elegant and bold and had exceeded my expectations given how plain the lobby had led me to believe the club to be.
Yoona led me to an office that was down a back hallway. She offered me a seat so I took it. The brunette settled into the chair across from me. She began to ask me a few Personal questions about my current situation which I answered straightforwardly. Yoona became quite frank with me as she explained that I would be very well suited as a Hostess here, that was, as long as I was willing to put the effort into my job. We discussed further opportunities and I started to become more comfortable with the idea. I was willing to start learning the ropes and Yoona made it clear that she was happy to teach me. After we'd come to a consensus she decided to start giving me simple tasks around the club and showing me around.
She introduced me to a few of the girls who were already working at the club. There were about ten girls in the cast at the moment but not all of them were in tonight. It was expected that on average you were required to work four nights minimum unless you were one of the top three ranking girls and you were pulling in big money.
I spent the next four hours mostly waiting tables and watching how the girls interacted with their clients. The guys who visited the club ranged from older to younger some handsome some not so much. It was a different kind of environment but it was something that might not take so long to get used to. If I could earn decent money then I'd put my effort into doing well. Yoona gave me my new roster before she dismissed me at around 9:30 pm. I grabbed my coat and handbag from the locker I'd left them in earlier and then said goodbye to a few of the girls I'd met. As I made my way home I grabbed out my phone to check for any messages. To my surprise, there was one from Jungkook.
JK: Hey Jia, are you home rn?
Jia: heeey, just saw your message, I'm on the way home now 😊 why what's up?
JK: Is it okay if I stop by? I accidentally left my charger at your place
Jia: Yea sure, I'll be there in 20
JK: Ok see ya in a bit
I locked my phone and quickened my pace. I wanted to try and get back and change before he got there so that I wouldn't arouse any suspicions from him about what I'd been doing tonight... it wasn't something I wanted to tell him... Especially when I had no idea what he might think about it. Maybe it would turn him off me.. Or make him think differently of me and I just didn't want that…
As soon as I got back I threw on some pyjamas and messed up my hair a bit to make it look like I hadn't been anywhere important earlier. The intercom buzzed signalling that Kookie was here so I quickly went over to let him in.
I could start to hear the wind picking up outside and when I opened the door to let Kook in I felt the chill from outside follow him. He shivered as he rushed to come in, closing the door behind him to get out of the cold. He was only wearing a T-Shirt and track pants and his hair was slightly displaced as though the wind had messed it up on the way here.
"Sorry to drop in last-minute" Jungkook had turned around and given a small shiver.
"No, no, it's totally alright. Are you okay though? What happened to you? You look kinda messed up?" I grabbed onto his arm and pulled him into the lounge room so we could sit down and talk properly.
"Oh, I'm fine," He said plainly, letting himself be led by me. He sat down beside me on the couch. "I just ran over because I had a quick break from practice. Didn't know it was so cold tonight," he explained.
"Oh Yeah, seasons are changing, I tend to forget too," I replied. It was obvious that he was really cold. The light goosebumps that prickled up on his forearms were a dead giveaway. I quickly stood up and went to my room.
"Jia?" Kook questioned, surprised by my spontaneous movement. I called back out to him from my room to wait for a second as I rummaged through my wardrobe. I pulled out my baggy purple hoodie and a black scarf.
There was no way I was going to let him back outside wearing only a T-Shirt so I went and offered him the hoodie. His eyes widened for a second and he seemed taken-a-back.
"Please just put these on, I just don't want you to get sick.." I mumbled, a second passed before his expression softened into a bunny smile.
"You're.. so nice. Thanks," he took it from me, stood up and started to pull the jumper over his head. We both kind of laughed as we realised how it looked. By the time he got it on it was obviously baggy on him.
"You look so tiny in this," I giggled. Kookie seemed to not mind as he continued to happily wrap my scarf around his neck to accompany the hoodie.
"Oh right! Don't forget this," I quickly remembered the initial reason he'd even stopped by and went to my bedside table where I'd left his phone charger. I grabbed it, wrapt it up and then went back and handed it to him. He thanked me again before he slipped it into the pocket of my hoodie.
Another small moment of silence passed as I took in the sight of him standing before me draped in purple, the way his dark brown hair framed his face. He looked so handsome right now. And, I knew beneath it he was packing something sexy. I pulled myself up on my thoughts right now. I really shouldn't be thinking like this.
"Oh Jia, before I go.. there's something I wanted to ask you," Kook began to say. I looked up into his dark doe eyes, they were holding me captive and I couldn't look away.
"Hm?" I mumbled back.
"It's about last night" He held his gaze steadily, what was he about to say? I felt light butterflies in my stomach at the mention of last night. I'd tried not to think about it too much because I wasn't ready to try and mentally unpack what had happened and make sense of any ulterior meaning.
"I just wanted to know how you felt about it.." he mumbled. He was hesitant but the way he was looking at me was melting me.
"I.." didn't know what to say but I continued, "..Felt good kissing you."
I watched as the smallest hint of a blush reached his cheeks. He looked away. It felt so good but at the same time I didn't want to give him the wrong impression.. it was dangerous and I knew I had to say something else.
"But, Jungkook.. it also.." I struggled to try and vocalise my feelings about it all. I wanted to tell him not to think about it too much, or just not lead him on I guess but how the hell could I say that.
"What is it..?" His expression shifted uncomfortably at my hesitation. God, I don't know if I have the heart to say anything in case it comes out wrong omg.
"No! It's nothing, don't worry," I blurted out. He was confused. I was also really confused so I guess it was appropriate.
"Okay.." was all he managed to say before he realised that he was probably gonna be late back to practise. The way he hastily pulled out his phone and looked at the time gave me the impression he was on a time limit.
"Oh crap I gotta go," he scrunched his nose as though he wasn't keen on having to leave but, I guess Idol duties were like that sometimes.
"Yea, be careful on the way back, okay?" I leaned in and hugged him tightly around the middle. He pats me on the back gently. I let go of him and peered up to see him giving me a warm smile.
"Don't worry Noona, I'll be fine thanks to your jumper." he was undeniably cute. The way he flashed me another smile before heading back out the door. Off he went, into the chilly night as quickly as he had arrived.
By now it was getting late. I was thinking about having a light dinner but my phone suddenly rang. Joon's name was on the screen. He never called me this late.. I picked it up straight away curious to see what it was about.
"Hey Joon, What's up?"
"Jia! Uhh not much. I'm nearly finished with the song, just need to do a bit more recording but I really want to show it to you. It turned out pretty good so far. Uh.."
"Oh really?! I'm so keen to hear it"
"I know it's getting late but I'm just so excited to show you. I want you to hear it too.." Joon sounded enthusiastic but hesitant.
"Yeah! It's not too late at all, come over if you want? I really do want to hear it." He got more excited and said he'd be here soon then hung up quickly.
I plopped back down on to the couch and laid there as I waited for him to come. The sound of the wind from outside was getting stronger and then the sound of heavy rain pelting against the roof followed. I rolled over and peered out the window to see dark blue-grey night skies that were a complete blur due to the rain that was blowing everywhere. Night had well and truly fallen. The lights in my lounge room were hurting my eyes so I got up and dim them down.
Ten minutes passed and then a buzz. This time when I opened my front door it was to reveal an absolutely soaked to the bone and shivering Namjoon. He looked like he'd been caught in a crazy thunderstorm. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.
"Holy shit, are you okay? Quick come in," I grabbed him and pulled him inside before closing the door and leading him to my fireplace.
"I'm okay, I think, why the hell is it raining like crazy all of sudden?" He stuttered between chattering teeth. I sat him down on the fluffy rug.
"I dono but you're going to get sick if you don't warm up quickly," I went to light a fire in an attempt to heat up the room for him. It only took me a couple of seconds, then, I ran to the bathroom and got some towels. When I came back he seemed to be warming up the tiniest bit, he had regained his voice but it was weak.
"Sorry Jia, I didn't mean to make you worry," he managed to say, letting me wrap the towels around him to try to dry him off. He was going in and out of small episodes of shivering.
"No don't apologise! It's alright, really. But, I think you might need to get out of these wet clothes though," I hesitated to say. I was trying to dry him off but it wasn't really helping much and the fireplace still hadn't heated up the room enough. Drops of water were cascading off his soaked hair and he looked like a puppy that had been caught in the rain, just looking at him in this state was pulling at my heartstrings.
"Uh. No, it should be fine- " Joon began to say, being interrupted by a new bout of shivers, teeth chattering between words.
"Please don't be stubborn and just change. I'll get you something, just hold on," I didn't wait for him to reply and rushed off to get a pair of track pants and a T-shirt.
I quickly went back and sat down next to him on the soft rug, the red flames in the fireplace now dancing more brightly. It was quiet but the sound of the crackle of burning wood drifted in the air and the dim lighting and warm reflection of the light from the fire gaze a warm and comfortable ambience.
Joon seemed to accept that he needed to change so he slowly peeled off his soaked shirt. The natural light tan of his chest and the carved outline of his pecks glistened against the amber hues reflected from the fireplace. I swallowed down the slight lump in my throat, pushing past my hesitance, bringing the towel up to his chest and helping him to dry off.
Joon gently caught my wrist in his grip just at the moment before I touch him causing me to gasp.
"It's alright Jia. I can do it."
Did I cross the line? He slowly released his grip from my wrist and I let go of the towel. He took it from me and started to dry off.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to overreact," I hoped to god I hadn't made him feel awkward. I slowly turned around to face the wall as to give him some privacy seeing as he was shirtless right now.
"What're you doing?" He asked. I hugged my knees and buried my face into my lap, my back was now facing him.
"I'm not looking so you can get changed," I explained, feeling more and more flustered by the second.
"You're so cute. You can look in a second just let me change pants." He chuckled. I felt myself relax a bit at the sound of his laughter, it seemed to break the tension a little and made me feel like he was gonna be okay.
I waited for a couple of seconds until he was finished then slowly looked back over to him. He was fully changed and using the towel to dry his hair.
"You good now?"
"Yeah. I'm much warmer," he leaned back on his hands in a relaxed position. The heat now filling the room well.
"Oh. Right, the song," He suddenly reached for his bag. As he pulled out his phone from his small bag, I was surprised to see that none of the contents had gotten wet.
"Okay so, I recorded it. It's only the first take so I wanted your feedback. I can always change the arrangement," he explained as he tapped at his phone screen to pull up the file.
"Sure, I'm ready," I hugged my knees close to my chest as we sat together there on the rug. The beat was slow and the melody was similar to the one he'd shown me earlier. But, he'd taken my advice on the tempo.
His voice over the melody was soothing. It gave me tingles as I listened. The lyrics, forever rain, it was a sentiment we both shared. The way the song had come together was giving me feels that were hard to explain. Nostalgia, comfort, it is so comforting. He sat on his side facing me, reclined and leaning on one arm, holding his phone loosely in his hand.
Was I falling for him..?
Our eyes met for a moment. His gaze held a tenderness, time seemed to stand still.
"Joon.." I mumbled, his gaze dropped slightly, he leaned in closer. I let go completely. The cool touch of his fingers gently held my chin. Then, his lips sotly pressed to mine. He kisses me sweetly. I give in, letting him take over. Again and again, he kissed me more hungrily.
Am I dreaming?
After another second he pulled away. I opened my eyes to see a doubtful expression cross his features.
"Joon.." I say, trying to catch my breath.
"Jia. I'm sorry, I just-" he paused, rubbing his forehead in mild frustration. What is he thinking? Is he regretting what he'd just done?
"I don't know what to say," I mumble, still in a daze. The gravity of what just happened started to dawn on me. He's actually just kissed me. Like fully just leant in and kissed me.
"Holy fuck. Joon, did you actually just kiss me?"
"Yeah, that's exactly what I just did. I don't know what came over me, maybe we should just pretend it never happened.." he looked conflicted.
"What? How can I do that..?" I shot back.
"I've been under so much stress lately and- whenever I'm with you I just feel at ease," he let out a sigh. I took a small moment to try and gather my thoughts.
What was he trying to say exactly? That doesn't explain a whole lot. But… A small fear bubbles inside.
"I feel the same way, but, I'm scared.." I admitted.
"What do you mean?" He looked up at me attentively.
"I mean, I don't want to ruin what we have. I'm scared to catch feelings. I'm scared to trust in my own judgement and, not to mention, Joon… You're a trainee for an Idol group, right?"
"Yeah. That's right." how sombre he sounded. It pulled at my heartstrings mercilessly.
"We both know that when you debut, being together is basically impossible…" There was more silence. I wish I wasn't saying this right now. Why was I? I wanted to just throw all my caution in to the wind and kiss him again but…
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you," he finally said. I felt so guilty about this situation. It was becoming more messed up and complex by the second.
"Please. Don't say that, I'm happy you kissed me. But.. I just.. I don't know how we can be anything more than friends.." Trying to make sense of these feelings was really turning out to be confusing and it hurt.
"Then let's not worry that and just keep being friends." A small moment passed as I took in his words.
"Okay." I was left feeling a mix of emotions, I got up onto my knees and put my arms around his shoulders pulling him in to a hug.
I felt his arms wrap around my mid, we both stayed like that for a small while, it was such a cosy place to be. Was this really the only thing I could do to make both of us feel better in this situation?
The song had finished a while ago, we stayed together and chatted in front of the fireplace for a little while longer before Joon decided that it was probably time for him to head home.
We hugged one more time before he left. It was warm and made me feel safe in his arms but the second we parted I was left with a coldness at the place he'd once been.
The same coldness resonated in my heart at the thought of the bittersweet circumstances we had found ourselves in. I felt like things were happening so quickly and I just couldn't keep up. Couldn't I just go back to the moment time had stood still?