Bailey's POV
Do you know the strange part of moving on? You don't move on like you are supposed to. She's better off and I feel worst than ever. I try to keep my cool. I try to be normal.
What is cool?
What is normal?
It the was the end of first period for today. Imagine having two subjects on Monday, as early as 8:30 in the morning, and the next subject that would start is after 5 hours. It was a long hour of hassle.
Before, I was living in a small shared apartment with Maddie. We had it all planned out beforehand. Moving out of the town we grew up in as we go to college. Although it was a city that is only an hour-away from home.
But then, we split up. She moved out and I fell apart. I ended up leaving the apartment as well.
The Professor asked to pass the answer sheets in front, announcing the last remaining five minutes to answer the math work problems. I stood up, mildly giving up on the second and last problem, and passed the paper. I had my answers but I didn't know if I did it right. Multiple choice won't be a problem since I would just choose the closest to what my brain could attempt on the solutions.
The familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon, small neat hands ahead of me, passing her paper as well. I didn't need to look at the name written, even as it was passed facing down. There was a momentarily eye contact as she passed by me, and never going to turn back. We planned it to have some same classes together, just to be together. No matter how early it was going to be.
I passed mine as well and went outside the door. She gathered around her friends.
"Hey, man!" Dom and I had our usual handshake. "How did you do?"
I gave him sarcastic laugh, "Terrible."
The Professor inside lowered his glasses and glared at us. We immediately went out of the doorway.
"Same, not to mention him peering on my paper and giving me a disappointed look," Dom subtly pointed to where the Professor was. "Like man, stop judging me!"
A small laugh escaped my lips. He was not that bad of a professor. He was one of the few who were considerate enough to not drop me from the class, after a whole lot of absents due to personal reasons. But you had to admit, Dom also got a point.
"Have you had breakfast? Me and the girls would go to Starbucks, would you like to come?" Dom offered, the crowd of girls behind him were waiting impatiently.
"Thanks, man. But I had some plans with the team," I lied. "Maybe next time." I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable, since Maddie is a part of that group.
I went to the football's locker room but it was still locked. I had forgotten that it was the exam week since I only have a few subjects right now, since I dropped most of them. I took a stroll on the field, a few were seating by the bleachers frantically reviewing their notes, some were just goofing around, and some were like having a quiz bee contest. Not to mention the couples having study dates or whatever...
The usual goofs hanging out by a thin strand, looking as tired as ever, minds are afloat somewhere. Most of them have sunken eyes, barely keeping them awake. This is what you get when you procrastinate. I decided to ignore them so they can have alone time with their thoughts, 'their next plans in life' or 'what they would have for lunch'. But they caught up to me, yelling and waving by the railings of the bleachers.
"Hey!" Janson yelled. "Bailey!"
"What's up!" Jonathan, your usual nerdy looking quarterback, was present as well.
I walked towards them. There was a long silence and just staring among each other, before bursting into laughing. Janson was still wearing his shirt still upside down. Jonathan gave a small shake of head, telling me not to tell him.
"You look greasy," Janson smirked as if he doesn't look like shit as well with all of that hair sticking all over the place.
"I was running late," I break into a smile. "You look as dashing as ever, Mr. MVP."
"I know, right?" He was proud as ever, not getting my sarcasm.
"What subject?" Jonathan asked.
"Finished Physics a while ago. Going to have French later."
"We'll be having Calculus later," Jonathan gave an exasperated sigh. I'm glad I was able to finish it last year. It was a hell of a brutal subject.
Janson put an arm around Jon, and winked at me, "French kissing," immediately earning a shove from Jon.
"Hey, ugly shits!" Drew joined in coming from who knows where, a phone by his hand. "So rowdy at this time of the day?"
"Facetiming your mom?" Janson dusted and pick himself up from the fall. He would be better immersed in studying Calculus.
Hell, no. He don't speak shit when his mom is around.
"Mom, say 'hi'," Drew disconnected his iPod, showing us a rather inconvenient relaxed face from the screen. He was wearing that annoying shades, the phone camera was not even centered. Probably off to some luxurious business or work of some shit. He really is out there living the best life.
"Hey~" Tony flashed his notorious smirk, "children with no freedom." There was a familiar frame on the back seat, although half of her face were covered by a beanie.
"Daddy~" Janson caught us off guard as he squealed. Jon hyping him up.
He forced a chuckle followed by, "Ahem, anyway, I'm hosting a party by the riverside. Wanna come along?" A soft giggling voice was in the background, his face were turning pink.
"Shut up, Maier!"
"Yeah, shut it. You are just flexing your Ferrari while we are rotting in hell."
"Sucks to be you," Tony teased.
"I want to go." Look at the MVP here, about to throw a tantrum like a kid. "Let's go? I want to see my daddy~"
"Keep it low, man."
Drew was just laughing at Janson's high pitched voice. As if he can do it any better.
"Keep what low? His pants?"
"This is why you're still the one for me, Jon--" Janson was about to hug him but Jon shoved him off again.
"And besides, your car was towed," Jon raised his eyebrow at Janson. As far as we all remembered, he is a terrible driver.
"Bailey will take me. Right, compadre?"
"Hell, no."
"Loosen up, man. You might even get some French delicacy experience after French classes," Janson doing a terrible Chef's kiss, "excellente!"
"Yeah, come on. Drop by. With all means, for me," Tony said looking a bit smug.
"Well, you don't have classes tomorrow, right? Might be a nice change of pace," Drew added.
Janson grabs my arms pulling me closer to the stand, and proceeds to yell at me. "Come on, Bailey! It's Tony Maier's party! He's gonna bring a variety hot babes! Italian! Asian! French! Classy! Goth! Long legged models! Thick thighed shorties! Anything you want! Maybe all you need is a new woman and get laid."
Anything I want, huh? Nothing in there will give me what I want. Not anyone will do.
I pulled my arm away from his grasp.
"Getting dominant now, hm," Janson continues to tease, reaching out for me again. But I was in no mood for it, slapping his hand away.
"I'll be going on ahead to eat some breakfast and get some studying done," I walk on ahead.
"I'll go with you," Drew said, immediately bidding goodbye to Tony. "I have 30 minutes before my next class."
"That's alright. See you at lunch," I gave him a pat on the shoulder before going on ahead.
What a kill joy have I become? This sucks. It sucks to be me.
---
The food by the cafeteria had always been either sticky and bland or dried up. I don't even know why I ordered sloppy spaghetti for lunch. At least the garlic bread was decent enough to get me through the day. Afterwards, I tried to get some studying done at the library. Taking out the worn out handout and a thin filler notebook.
"Mieux vaut prévenir que guérir, which means, It is better to prevent than to heal," I skimmed through the Chinese healing practices. For God's sake, it is a French subject. I don't need these.
I read in an almost whisper, "Et d'abord, ne pas nuire!" I am trying so bad not to cringe on how bad I sound. Even to the point of looking around if anyone is hearing me.
"Qui n'avance pas, recule: Who does not move forward, recedes".
"Inutile de discuter," I read in my mind, half-ly given up on speaking French.
I woke up on the consecutive vibration of my phone in my pocket. I should report this for spam. I might not have realized I had fallen asleep. All I remember was me, resting my face on the desk. Then, I felt the strain on my neck. I should not have slept like that! Damn, I was not even trying to sleep.
The time was less an hour before the exam. I opened my phone and there were a few pings on the group chat, and fifteen calls from Tony, all with voice records. I was glad I muted.
Mr. Laurent, the instructor, I would say he is an 'ok' guy. He just come off as odd at times, and a bit unpredictable. Sometimes, he let's things pass, doesn't check the attendance and give out random unfunny jokes. Then, we just try to laugh. But on unlucky occasions, he is strict to the time and would get angry at students taking notes. I went to a nearby drinking fountain, before heading to the exam room.
I pass by Dom in the hallway in a rush, high fiving and told me, "good luck."
---
All in general, I don't like French class that much. Who the hell asks for their whole name in the last question? And a total of fifteen points on enumerating three jokes he said in French?
I shoved back the wrinkled papers in my bag in frustration. His full name was already written on top of every pages in the handout, "Prepared by: Mr. Charles Emmanuel Degarmo Laurent."
There are fewer people around at this time. The sky had already faded to purple. From the dull streetlight, you can see only a few cars are in the parking lot. Most had already taken their leave. Some students board inside the school but I decided not to, since the rules were too strict to my liking.
As I get inside the jeep and started the engine, I opened the spams on my my phone. I don't need to read all that. I have a one missed call from mom a few minutes ago. "Hm," I called her back. After five rings, she picked up. Must have been busy at the store.
"Hello, honey," I didn't heard what she said after that as I was attaching the headset.
"Yeah... Why'd you call?" I roll the window down and drive out. I heard some shuffling and voices in the background. Must have been a busy day.
"Buy some KFC and beer on your way home."
I sighed, figuring how it is. "Alright. Anything else that Liv and dad wants?"
"Well, there's..." She paused, and I can hear the loud chattering in the background. "Do you have any plans?"
"None that I can think of."
"Come drop by and help me in the closing."
"A'ight."
---
Damn, my AP goin' psycho, lil' mama bad like Michael
Can't really trust nobody with all this jewelry on you
My roof look like a no-show, got diamonds by the boatload
Come with the Tony Romo for clowns and all the bozos
My AP goin' psycho, lil' mama bad like Michael
Can't really trust nobody with all this jewelry on you
My roof look like a no-show, got diamonds by the boatload
Don't act like you my friend when I'm rollin' through my ends, though
That was then... and now, I don't know how I even got here. Next thing I know, I was in a room full of strangers. The colored lights were flickering, the music was blasting. A cup of alcohol on my right hand and a hand of a stranger on my left. Everything was turning blurry. For a moment, I saw her angelic face leaning in. I can't help but place my hands on her soft hair. She was close. Too close that I can feel her warmth. Her pretty blue eyes looking into mine, not letting go of her gaze. As if she was seeking something inside of me.
Her mouth opens, saying something, but my mind was in a haze. Everything was going slow, missing some key points, in the worst quality ever. The next thing I knew, her lips were on mine. In a moment of weakness, I kissed her back and closed my eyes. It felt too good to be real. And if it was a dream, I know deep inside me, I want to be with her. Then it hit me, and I dropped her hand.
It was different. I know even with my eyes close it is different. It felt different.
I pulled away.
She was not her.
"You are not... her."