(From Ella's Perspective)
He was behaving oddly. He said he could smell a man from me. That was probably because Jed had hugged me. We had hugged again when Edrich told us about the girl.
Jed was telling me again and again that nothing like that was going to happen to me. It was not like I was crying or worried about myself. Yes, I was a bit... I didn't know. I felt some kind of unknown dread inside me. Jed perhaps sensed it, as he tried to get me out of my thoughts again and again.
And now, Leandro was being strange. He thought that I had slept with Jed. When he asked me that, I felt off-guard. Well, whatever I expected was surely not that. I wanted to tell him that it was nothing like that and Jed was gay. He would not even think that way towards me.
But then I thought, why would I bother to tell him all that. I did not promise him that I was not going to sleep with anyone. Well, I would not sleep with anyone, but I was not going to tell him that either.
That night when he kissed me, suddenly he cursed and broke the kiss, just the moment when I thought I was losing myself and perhaps I would say yes to him. He seemed angry and there was something in his eyes that made me wonder if I had ever seen anything like that before.
I lay on the bed, trying to sleep. He did not return from the bathroom yet. I tried not to think about him. But my stupid mind would never get over the look on his face when he pulled away from the kiss. There was burning desire in his eyes. He did not know that if he had not pulled away, I would perhaps say yes. A large part of me had already stuck to yes. The need of feeling him was unbearable and painful.
Just by the kiss, I knew I was wet for him. I was still turned on. His kiss... I just could not get it off my mind. I did not think I ever would be able to get it off my mind either.
Suddenly I heard a loud noise. It came from the bathroom. I quickly jumped out of the bed, I mean, mattress, and hurried towards the bathroom.
The door was locked from inside. I knocked on the door urgently. "Leandro! Are you alright? Did you fall?"
"I'm fine. Go and sleep," he said huskily from inside.
"Open the door, Leandro," I said.
"Go away, Ella. I told you I'm fine."
"Open the damn door, Leandro!"
This time he opened the door. His right fist was bleeding and he looked angry, a lot less than before though.
I held his hand quickly and tried to cover the wound. "What happened here? It's bleeding. The blood... it's... well... a lot. You should use something on it. Do you have any medicine? Any ointment? Is it in the bathroom? In the drawer? I can get it for you. The blood... it needs to stop."
"Go and sleep, Ella. You need to get up early tomorrow," he said calmly, but in his usual cold tone.
"No, it's fine. You need to... the wound...the blood," I said, losing myself almost completely at the sight of blood, mostly at the smell of blood.
"Are you alright?" he asked. I felt as if I could sense a hint of worry in his tone. But why would he be worried about me? I was just a silly human girl.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Come on, let me wrap your wound," I said, pulling him with me inside the bathroom.
"You don't have to wrap it, El, or you don't have to use any ointment. It'll heal," he said in an amused voice.
"Heal? On its own?" I asked, surprised.
"Yes. Shifters can heal their wounds," he said.
"The blood? What about the blood? You have to wipe it off, right?"
"Yeah, the blood won't go away on its own. After the wound is healed, I'll wipe it off," he said.
I nodded and looked around the bathroom. There were shards of mirrors falling in the basin. The shards had traces of blood on them.
"You broke the mirror, didn't you? But why? Why would you want to hurt yourself? It's crazy," I said.
"That's none of your business," he said, but his tone was not as hard as before. It was tired and desperate.
"I'm feeling odd. The smell... the blood," I muttered, trying to get a grip on myself.
"Hey, are you ok?" he asked. "You hate blood, don't you?"
"No, it's nothing. Why would I hate blood?" I faked a laugh. "Blood, well, blood is fun. Why would I hate it? I better go to bed. And by the way, you'll tell me why you broke the mirror after your wound is healed fully."
I did not wait for him to say anything. I walked straight out of the bathroom and to the bed. The smell of blood seemed to take over my head.
I lay down, thinking about what the hell I was doing with my life. I was not afraid to take risks in my life, I never was. But I could not bring myself to risk giving myself to Leandro. What if he left me someday? I was sure that I was never going to heal in that case.
It came to my mind all of a sudden. When I went to the castle every day, what was he doing? He said almost no one outside the castle knew how he looked like. Then what if he was going out of the forest and fucking women? Perhaps he was satisfying his needs there. That's why he had not yet tried to do anything like that to me. He could easily overpower me. But he did not do it.
He came back after a while and lay down beside me. I could not smell the blood anymore. Rather I got the scent of lavender.
"Do you guys always heal?" I asked.
"You haven't slept yet?"
"No. I can't sleep. I don't like to sleep," I said. "Do you shifters always heal?"
"Yes. But I heal quickly than the Orgades," he replied.
"Oh, and you are supposed to tell me why did you break the mirror."
"I already told you that's none of your business. You said you're not going to ask again if I say this."
"Oh, right. I was just curious," I said.
After a while of utter silence, I asked, "Do you stay in this cave all day when I go to the castle?"
"Not always. But I don't get out of the forest."
I sighed in relief, but I did not know why. Why did it feel good to know that he was not having sex with any women? It was not like we were in a relationship. It was kind of impossible for us to be in a relationship. But sometimes, the impossible became possible too. Oh, what was I thinking? I could not believe I was thinking about the chance of having a relationship with him.
"Is Edrich going to be home tomorrow?"
"What?" I asked, not hearing him properly as my mind was having an impossible argument with me about whether Leandro and I could ever have a relationship.
"I asked if Edrich is going to be home tomorrow when you're going at his place," he said, giving me the look that clearly said- 'I don't like to repeat myself'.
"No. He said, well, that he needs to go to the brothel to clear his mind," I replied.
"That means you and the boy are going to be alone there?"
"Yeah. What's wrong with that?"
"When will Edrich come back?" he asked, ignoring my questioning glare.
"Jed said Edrich sleeps at the brothels usually," I replied.
"Does this boy, what's his name again?"
"Jed," I said quickly.
"Yes, Jed. Does he know what I look like?"
"Wait, are you planning on going there? There's no need. I can..."
"Answer my question, Ella. I don't like to repeat myself, yet I've to tell you this again and again," he said coldly.
"No, he doesn't."
"I'll meet you there at nine then and you'll come back here with me."
"You're going to stay there the whole time I'm going to be there?" I asked, shocked, perhaps more than shocked.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"That's none of your business," he said and I sighed. Why was he keeping so many things to himself? He was odd, very odd. One time he was behaving as if he did not care for me or what I was doing and another time he was behaving as if he needed to know everything I was doing. He was very unpredictable, but yet I was determined to know who he was deep inside. I wanted to break his hard shell and see him with my own eyes, know more about him, the parts he was guarding behind his shell.