Mindlessly staring at the ceiling, as the passing seconds flew by reality finally sank in. "Like? Are you fucking crazy? How can you like someone from your own class? Nonetheless, a fucking girl too!" Fighting the air and making a mess out of her bedroom. Sighing about the train of thoughts she had. How can I even call it love? I fucking talked to someone properly in years and now act like it's the end of the world… But her expression when we talked, a gentle smile with a kind attitude and not a single malice in her eyes. "She's so pretty too… It's unfair and bad for the heart." Realizing the words that came out of her mouth. Begins another fight with the air and her now messy bed.
After losing the fight with air, she lay down on the floor. Mikaela has always been insecure but indifferent with herself, she hated herself for not being able to apologise to Mikaela, but now she hates herself even more. How can you even like someone you just met? Not only that they just had to be the same gender as me! How will Cecilia even react to this? Even worse, how will aunt and uncle react? Will they kick me out? What's even the point, me and Cecilia haven't talked properly for years. Depressingly remembering reality, she fixed her bed and just went to bed early. Losing any desire to draw or even do anything, she just lay there. Mindlessly staring at the walls, she finally falls asleep.
Burning pain in her chest awoke Mikaela from her deep sleep. Seeing blood on her hands, she ran out of her room to the bathroom. Turning the lights on there she saw herself to be seemingly coughing blood. Coughing harder as she gasps for air, there she sees Cecilia walking into the room. "Mikaela? What the fuck!" Panicking as she rushed to her sides patting her back and using the bathroom towel to wipe the blood off her face. "Thanks," Mikaela weakly mumbles after having a coughing fit.
"I'll call Mom and Dad, stay here, and wait for a while." Before being able to do what she said, she was immediately stopped by Mikaela.
"Don't, it's probably another coughing fit, I did eat a bit too much earlier."
Her response only aggravated Cecilia, "I'm not a dumbass as you think I am. Coughing up blood can be a cause of a chest infection, if I call them they can get you checked."
"I did not run to the bathroom just so you'll call them. I went in here on my own not needing or asking for your help, dumbass." Speaking before even thinking, Mikaela was surprised with what she also said. "W-wait, I don't mean it like that-"
"Well then fuck you too Mikaela Coraline, sorry for having a bit of empathy and trying to help your suffering ass. I'll leave you alone now." Filled with anger, Mikaela watched Cecilia walk away.
Under her breath, she whispered, "...I fucked up-- again."
Forgetting the fact she was just acting as if she was about to lose her life from the coughing fit earlier, she turned her attention towards Cecilia and how she would apologize to her. She didn't mean to anger her, she only disliked having to trouble her parents as they already have a lot on their plate. Mikaela was never really vocal about anything, even if she feels some kind of chronic pain she'll keep quiet about it. The only times she ever spoke about getting sick is when she had a fever or bad headaches that made her stay in bed. She never thought deeply about her health as she was satisfied with the sacrifices Cecilia's parents made for her. Slowly exiting the bathroom, she walked looking down onto the floor. Ashamed of what she did and said to Cecilia, She walked back to her room filled with shame, regret, and anxiety.
Woken up the next day by her alarm, she went straight to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Doing everything at a fast speed to avoid bumping into Cecilia, which was easier said than done as they live on the same roof. Knowing Cecilia isn't much of an early bird, she chose an earlier time than she usually does and sleeping a bit earlier than her usual time was a great advantage. She wore her uniform, with a white blouse underneath and a dark blue blazer with huge gold buttons. She wore a tartan-patterned miniskirt and necktie with blues and greys alternating and her black goth boots for shoes. By the time she finished preparing for school, she then headed onto the kitchen to eat breakfast wherein Cecilia's parents seemed to leave a small meal for each of them. Appreciating the small gesture she then sat down and started eating.
Cecilia then came down to the kitchen to also eat breakfast. Seeing Mikaela silently eating there, she took her share of the meal and sat across from her. The two did not speak with each other at all, leaving an awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. Devouring her food to get out of the situation, hastily ate her food until her plate was empty. Standing from her seat to wash her plate, Cecilia then spoke, "How are you feeling?"
Shocking Mikaela a bit she tried to think of the best reply, "Great! Totally great! Yep, I am fine."
With a look of disbelief, Cecilia just nodded. Not knowing what to do Mikaela panicked, "Oh would you look at the time! I have to go now! You know, trying to be a good student and all. Bye!"
Commuting to school, she only kept thinking about how ridiculous she sounded earlier. She's not shy or scared, just awkward. Doesn't know how to express herself correctly and has a great talent for making things more awkward. With her ride being near to her school, she has another hurdle to jump across. Denying Amelie's offer to join the art club to avoid any more feelings developing. A resolution she quickly made to stop thinking about it anymore, but the hard part is actually denying it and how to say it.
A few minutes had passed and finally arriving at school, being an early bird had also meant having the privilege to walk through the empty corridors and rooms you barely get to see. It's the small things that can make us happy and could feel in a void of regret you placed for yourself. Taking in the silent halls and peaceful corridors, at this time Mikaela finally feels she's in a safe space. Arriving at their classroom, she then enters and prepares herself to deny Amelie's offer.
After a while, Amelie arrives having a lot of responsibilities she tends to arrive at school early too. Though this time unlike before Mikaela would ignore her and pretend that no one is in the room, Amelie runs to Mikaela's side and starts asking her about her offer. "Mikaela, good morning! So what do you think, are you joining the art club?"
Just as she was about to say no, she saw Amelie's expression. She looked as if a cute puppy who's now waiting for you to give her the treat you promised. Or a sad kitten that's cutely expecting her food. Her expecting face is so adorable, how can I say no to this? I just want to hold her cheeks and squeeze it- okay stop being fucking gay Mikaela. Don't make it weird and just say no.
"Well?" Amelie looks at her straight in her eyes.
Well, fuck, you gay piece of shit Mikaela. "Yes, I want to join the art club."
"Great! I'm so glad you actually agreed to join." She celebrated a bit and hugged me quickly. Now with a bright smile, she headed onto her bag to get a fill-up form.
... Well, that was worth it.
Now filling up the form Amelie gave her, Mikaela completely threw rationality out of the window and filled the form. I must be crazy. Giving in to her just like that. Completely smitten despite having one interaction with her, but is it my fault she's really pretty? Not only that she's kind to everyone, even me. Before interacting yesterday she already tried to help me. I was the one who acted like a stuck-up bitch and shut her down. Well as long as the others don't know we're getting pretty close, she won't get bullied too right?
"Here," Handing her the form she then accepts it and starts skipping around the room.
"Alright then thanks Mikaela, talk to you after school then. I still have a bunch of stuff to do so I'm pretty much excused for today. Bye-bye!"
"Yeah, goodbye."
Even her skipping around the room seemed adorable… I must be sick. Though unlike before she only wanted the class to quickly end just to go back home where it's peaceful and safe. She's now looking forward to something, something she never expected to be excited about.
Classes ending, Mikaela now packed up her bag and headed to the cafeteria to quickly stop for some drinks. In the midst of buying a soda, annoying flies have arrived in the cafeteria. Fuck the seniors and their group, where do I hide? Trying to find a hiding spot, Mikaela panicked and tried to run away.
"Mikaela, fancy seeing your lonely ass here."
"Hi Jade, yeah I decided to buy some soda."
"Try water once in a while, it will help your diet especially with that fat figure of yours. No wonder I've been hearing nothing about you having a love life. Well even if you did slim down, you're ugly ass could never." Jade laughed with some of her so-called friends laughing along with her.
I wanted to smear that smirk of hers out of her face. Ha, jokes on you I don't need a man and no plans on finding one, I'm a lesbian! --Is what I wanted to shout, but kept it in. I'm already an outcast, there's no good reason to make it any worse.
"Wow, you consider yourself as a beauty? Mmmm, guys have such low standards these days. I mean a disfigured barbie doll with a personality of a noisy fly and a brain of an ostrich." said a voice from the entrance of the cafeteria which belonged to Amelie. She walked up next to me and stood in front of me.
"You fake ass bitch! Why do you think you could compare yourself with me? Also, ostriches are cute, dumb bitch!" Jade snapped.
Amelie only smiled and sighed, "Pick up a book or two like a dictionary and maybe you'll have a wide vocabulary. No, I didn't compare myself to you, why would I compare myself to something I already know is worse than me. Besides you're nothing but a dull-witted fool without those blind dense followers of yours. Do you think you're using them to your advantage? When in the end your brain-dead mind is getting used by them."
Causing Jade to be teary-eyed, she then ran and was soon followed by her friends who were denying what Amelie said.
"U-Uhm, aren't you afraid it'll go in your permanent record?" Mikaela asked Amelie.
"If she snitches about me her bullying will just be exposed. Also, how can I not intervene when a friend is being bullied by those budget mean girls."
"Thanks."
Gently smiling towards her, she then wraps her arm around Mikaela's. "Have some confidence with yourself, honestly with that sharp tongue of yours you didn't seem to be the type to let themselves get bullied."
"They kinda started attacking me when things were wrong and I just felt depressed, I guess that's why I practically let them insult and order me around."
Amelie then angrily yanks Mikaela, "Hey! Treat yourself better alright! I don't like that attitude and mindset."
"Thanks again."
Then arriving in the art club, there stood a guy who towered over Amelie and Mikaela. With black hair and hairstyle of Modern Pompadour and blue eyes. He stood there reading a book, having a cool atmosphere around him.
"Jack!" Amelie greeted excitedly, quickly dragging me to stand in front of him.
Woah he's so tall, he has to be at least 170cm or something. "She's Mikaela, the one I've talked about yesterday."
"Ah, hello I'm Mikaela Coraline, nice to meet you." Awkwardly handing out her hand for a handshake.
"Jack Sullivan, nice to meet you too." He shook back.
Amelie then let go of Mikaela's arm running to Jack's side. "I barely told people this, but Jack here is my boyfriend."
"I'm sorry, you're what now?"
"Boyfriend."
Did I hear that correctly? I'll just try again. "Your boyfriend?"
"Yeah, we've been going out for a few months now. I really wanted to tell you since I want to be close with you!"
"Excuse me, can you excuse me for a second, I think I received a call."
"Alright then, I and Jack will be hating here while the other art club members also arrive."
"Sure."
Closing the door after leaving the room, Mikaela then ran as fast as she could to the nearest female bathroom and locked herself inside. "Fuck! Wow, I guess I'm wrong then, the art club was not worth it at all!"
Frustrated and shocked, she felt a painful pain in her lungs. Suddenly throwing a coughing fit, she endured the pain as she continued coughing. Until she saw blood and one or so petals coming out every now and then. Am I in a fever dream right now? What are petals doing here? Not expecting to be that devastated on hearing that, Mikaela felt a suffocating pain in both her chest and lungs. "Fuck, I should've expected someone as pretty as her to be dating someone."
Contemplating whether she would tell her guardians about her coughing blood and flower petals. She decided to hold it off and ignore it. Washing her face and giving it a good slap, she returned to the art club with a poker face. Resisting the urge to make a disgusted face or rude remarks whenever Jack flirts with Amelie, she sat there just focusing on drawing how she feels.
There a female member of the club sat beside her, "Hello."
Looking up to the female Mikaela greeted back, "O-oh, Hi."
"No wonder Amelie made up her mind on trying to get you in the club, your art is gorgeous!" With a seemingly elegant personality, she then placed her materials right beside her. "Athena Raven, I'm a 3rd year senior and Amelie's close friend. Pleased to meet you." Athena had blonde hair tied in a bun, with brown eyes.
"Mikaela Coraline, I'm in the same class with Amelie and sit behind her."
Athena's smile brightens, continuing to draw beside her and bringing up some topic. Just from the confidence, she exudes, Mikaela already felt intimidated. Though from her words and how she talks about other people especially Amelie, she seemed so much like an older sister. "Hey! How are the two of you doing? Sorry if it's kind of boring. The next event for us is at least the week before the Christmas Party so we're pretty free right now."
"I don't mind at all, it's alright." Mikaela couldn't look her in the eyes. It was too much, especially with her thinking she has a chance with her. "Well I finished my drawing and since there's nothing to do I'll go home early. I have some things planned to do."
"Alright then, goodbye." Athena waved goodbye as she continued drawing on her artwork.
Before she could leave through the door, Amelie stops her. "Thanks for today," With a genuine smile Amelie then hugs her. "Bye-bye!"
Calmly leaving the room and walking through the corridors her mind was in utter chaos.
What the fuck was that about. Fuck, how can I stop myself from liking her if it's like this? She's so adorable, oh my god.
Walking the halls with her poker face, she once again felt suffocating pain in her lungs once again. Though this time she just ran to the side of the school and coughed her blood onto the ground, unlike earlier there wasn't any flower that came out of her. Sighing, she made a resolution for today. I'll just be friends with Amelie. Nothing more and nothing less, so it won't be painful seeing her!
Well, that was easier than done. A few days have already passed by since that day. I still have a bad relationship with Cecilia. My coughing fit worsens every day and I wasn't hallucinating when I saw petals from it. I looked it up and it said to be Hanahaki Disease, a disease that happens for people who are madly in love but only has it one way, where actual flowers grow in a person's lungs. The only cure is the recipient reciprocating the feelings they have for them or having surgery to have them removed, but would also remove their feelings for them. If neither is done, they'll probably die. Of course, my loser ass caught a rare disease. Now I'm just suffering in the corner as I fall for her more. Every interaction, message, or call had only made me fall for her more. It wasn't just her reaching out to me when I was in a bad place. Her character, features, and attitude. Everything about her just seemed perfect.
Laying down her bed, Mikaela now stood up from her train of thoughts and headed to the kitchen. Exhausted from her deep thinking she now took snacks from the fridge and started eating them on the table. While having a peaceful snack time, Cecilia then walks in on her eating.
"Hi," She greeted swiftly as she proceeded to get snacks from the fridge.
Trying to avoid any more awkward encounters, Mikaela then stood up to bring the snacks to her room. Standing up, her mind starts to be in a daze. A burning and suffocating pain once again start. Making her have a coughing fit of blood and multiple petals coming out of her. I… can't brea… With her thoughts starting to blur she kneels down the floor holding her chest trying to slow the coughing fit.
Cecilia turns around to see Mikaela on the floor with a pool of blood and flower petals below her. "Mikaela, what the fuck!" She screamed and ran to her side. Panicking, she called her parents, "Mom come home please, Mikaela is coughing blood and flower petals and having a hard time breathing-"
That was the last she heard from Cecilia, as she now loses consciousness from her coughing fit and faints on her small pool of blood.