Sonare examined her closely and then sighed. "I thought I sensed an imbalance or irregularity within your body, when the host has accumulated too much murderous qi or aura within their body they will be affected by it during the time that they break through to the Unrestrained Realm. Those that have heavy resentment, poor life experiences or have accumulated a lot of kills in their lifetime often experience symptoms similar to soldiers on the battlefield who become more irritable, have trouble sleeping or have frequent nightmares. The song I played is called 'the heart of the devil in humanity' and it is used to let those enter their own hearts to face their own devil within. The heart devil is a combination of all of your fears, doubts, anger, mistrust and all the other worst parts of yourself, it could be said to be a reflection of yourself but also not. Hidden deep within you is too heavy of a murderous qi and heart devil to overcome with just brute force so I will be the one to teach you during this time so that you can learn to overcome."
Ki sighed. "What happens if I fail to overcome it?"
There were not many records on peoples experiences during this trial because it often involved many personal things for each person that they had to overcome so there was not many correct path on how to overcome it perfectly.
Most just pushed through with brute force and ignored the temptations and harsh words spoken while some handled it their own way.
Sonare replied in a serious tone. "Most who are disturbed or give in to the heart devil experience a qi deviation or failure to complete their breakthrough. Some can even suffer affects to their mind turning them mad, there have been some cases of devil martial artists or others with a lot of blood on their hands losing their minds after their breakthrough attempt resulting in the slaughter of many people. So it could affect your mind, your qi or even your body depending on how bad of an experience you may have and how badly the failure to breakthrough has affected your body and qi."
Ki thought back to the old woman's words that seemed to wish to come out and take over herself and found Sonare's explanation could have some truth to it.
It was like the old woman or the image of the previous her from her past life wished to be let loose to cause all sorts of trouble upon the world.
It seemed to see through many of her fears and doubts then use them against herself to crush her spirit and it was able to show her all of the things she had hidden or suppressed and thought to be in control of.
It was as if she was being told that no matter how much she tries to suppress that side of herself for others to not notice, it would still be there and would resurface again one day.
One day when that happened was the day when her own family would stop looking at her with eyes full of love but instead full of fear and hatred.
She would be rejected as a monster and she would be unable to protect them as she had been doing so.
Like her heart devil had said, they had already died in her own past so the wounds and the person it created was formed.
Just because they still live does not mean that she has saved them because they still remain dead in her memories of her distant past, it was also difficult to guarantee their survival in this cruel world.
If she wished to face those truths or doubts in her heart then she would have to find a way to confront herself when the time comes.
She looked determined and looked towards Sonare. "Please accept me as a student and teach me what you can to help me overcome it."
Sonare nodded. "It seems that you have gotten used to hiding or suppressed your aura but that is the wrong way. From now on I will teach how how to calm your aura and mind to reach a state where you are tranquil. Today will start with a couple of gentler pieces of music and some other lessons, after that I will give you some time to practice on your own and see you three times a week."
Ki nodded. 'So the solution is something similar to what I have been doing with my tea and wine to treat and calm myself but instead will probably use music to treat or tame it in some way. However this solution may be more effective and permanent.'
Although she was not aware of the overall process or how it would affect her, she was still understanding towards medicine and some other things to help treat her state of mind.
The problem was that most of her solutions were temporary treatments and did not have a real healing effect on her in the long term.
Instead it just taught her to suppress certain things and push them deeper but unleash it when it is needed which was not healthy for herself.
After meeting her heart devil and discussing things with Sonare, she became more aware of her faults.