Zander MOANS. 'Oh my fuckn, bleedin, head. What in the seven hells just happened?' Rubbing his face, he is unable to see his hand.
[Welcome new stupid host] the words appeared in front of his face.
'Bitch who are you calling stupid, stupid'?
'You're stupid. You're a weak mortal. Stupid.' The system voice says back in a flat monotone voice.
'Fuck your mom. I'm not stupid. I know, why don't you talk to me in a real voice and not this fake ass voice bitch!' He LAUGHS to himself. While laughing he's smacked in the face with the book. 'OOF. What the actual fuck?!' The book disappears again.
'Now will you shut up and listen. What I'm about to tell you will save your life.' The system says in a sexy female voice. 'Is this voice acceptable to you?'
'Yes. Thank you. I'll call you my bitch and you will answer all my questions truthfully!' He LAUGHS. He received a shock. 'Hey. Fuckn ass'!
'Now moving on stupid. I'm your system. I assume you're simple little brain has played games before. Just think of me as that kinda system'.
Zander calls out stats in his mind. Right then a status window appears in his vision.
[User: Zander Solo (the bitch)]
[Race: Human]
[Class: ?]
[Level: 1]
[0/100 EXP]
[Strength: 10]
[Dexterity: 10]
[Energy: 10]
[Charisma: 0]
"I bloody suck right now. What the hell is this bullshit about me "The bitch"?
The system just ignored Zander.
[Skills]
[0 skill points available]
[Skill locked]
[Skill locked]
Thinking in his head that this is a bunch of bullshit he just decides that he will play along for now. He looks around and sees another tab up top. [Quests] he thinks and it opens up.
[Main Quest]
[Reach level 10]
[Daily Quest: Do 100 push-ups, sit-ups, and run 3 miles]
[Reward: Hidden]
[Failure: Hidden]
Thinking about the quests, he just shakes his head. Thinking on the last tab in his system menu he notices that [Shop] is locked and grayed out. 'Come on. What's the point of giving me a tab if I can't use it'.
'What, now you're going to give me the cold shoulder. You're the bitch not me, bitch'. Another shock to his system.
'Now that I got your attention the only way to unlock shit, stupid, is to complete quests and whatever tasks I give you. If you fail any quests just know certain death awaits you stupid mortal. Before you ask, yes the only way to get rid of your nickname is to increase in levels. You don't like that, just kill yourself now'.
Zander doesn't seem to care about what the system just told him. 'That's nice and all but where the bloody hell am I? Why can't I see anything'?
'Is all you know is complaining. Why did she have to choose you to stick me with forever. You're on a planet called Zondora. The year is 3786. It looks like you're Earth just purer and cleaner. The rest you have to find out for yourself. As for your eyesight it's been taken from you. Hahahahaha. Just joking. You'll be able to see in a few minutes. Then you'll understand or maybe not. You are a Medic after all or was that just a lie too. Before you ask, no I will not appear before you. Only in your head or in text form. Sorry hotshot. Goodbye for now. Figure stuff out on your own and don't die within the first hours. I really don't want to explain your stupid death to Lola'.
Zander blinks a few times. His eyes finally focus and he sees that he's in a laboratory of sorts, naked, and cold. Thinking to himself why he's cold he looks around and sees what looks like Criogenic tubes. His appears to be the only one defrosted and he's stuck inside, trapped. "Hahahah, fuck you Lola. Nice little trick. Now let me OUT!" Be BANGS on the glass to no avail. "Well fuck me running through a cornfield backwards naked without lube. AHHHHHHH".
He thinks to himself if this is really happening. What if I say no will it save it for later or will I lose the rewards? In answer to his unspoken question another message appears.
At that moment, his system menu pops up with a new tab after [Quests] labeled [Mail] that is blinking green. Hmmmm he thinks to himself. [Mail]
[Mail]
(This is where you get all your rewards from quests and tasks that you complete but don't take right away. You've got Mail).
There is new Mail. He closes his system menu.
"Hahahah very funny Lola! Enough with the jokes and GET ME OUT!!" 'Fuck you system. I'll just sit here and wait for you to let me out.' In his head 'sorry but you can't fuck me as I'm not a living person. If you refuse to do this task you'll die'.
[1m:59s] and counting down till death of host.
[1m:58s]
[1m:57s]....
[59s]....
At [1s] the count down stops. Lola appears before Zander. "Well now. I see you both are at it and you have only been given a second chance at life for 10 minutes. System, override command Zulu Alpha Papa." The system in his head completes the task and the cyro tube opens up with a HISSING.
[Claim rewards Yes/No]
Zander passes on claiming the rewards for now. He falls out of the cyro tube at Lola's feet. "Thank you Lola." He kisses her feet over and over.
"That's enough. This is the only time I'm going to intervene and save your bacon. From here on out you need to play nice with each other." She disappears.
Zander stands up wobbly and looks for some clothes.
[New Quest: Find Clothes]
[Reward: 5 EXP]
"Really system, really. Only 5 for finding clothes." If anyone was in the lab they would think he's gone crazy.
'Okay, what reward would you like? Death by cold exposure? Also quiet calling me system, call me Kris'.
Zander stops dead in his tracks. "Is that really you Kris? I thought you survived the fatal shooting"?
'Zander you idiot, it's over a 1000 years into the future. Of course I did and I died 50 years after that. Hello Mr. Marine, we're not in Kansas anymore. Look around you. Does this even look like Earth"?
Zander has been walking around looking at lockers, tables, and drawers. All of the sudden he finds a uniform. It's what would be called a military officer uniform back on Earth with the Medical patch.
[Quest Complete. 5 EXP awarded]
[New Quest: Inspect Laboratory]
[Reward(s): 5 EXP and possibly a companion]
'How's that for a reward Mr. Marine'?
"Kris you bitch. How am I supposed to inspect without the skill?" He can hear her LAUGHING in his head.
'Now that you won't die of a cold why don't you check out your mail hotshot'.
Zander opens up his [Mail]
[2 unread messages]
[Wake up without dying](*)
(50 EXP and New Skill: Inspection Level 1)
[Find a way out of the Cyro tube](*)
(50 EXP and New Skill: Medical Treatment Level 1)
[Host Leveled Up]
[+1 to all Stats. New stat unlocked HP]
Zander calls up his stats.
[User: Zander Solo (the lucky bitch)]
[Race: Human]
[Class: ?]
[Level: 2]
[5/200 EXP]
[HP: 10/10]
[Strength: 11]
[Dexterity: 11]
[Energy: 11]
[Charisma: 1]
He then brings up his [Skills]
[Inspection Level 1]
(Used to inspect people and objects. Also can be used to determine best course of medical attention).
[Medical Treatment Level 1]
(Basic knowledge of medical treatments. Prior experience gives a +1HP to all treatments rendered to people. Heal self +10% faster due to pervious training. This increase with levels and more training).
[Skill Locked]
Zander closes out his system menu and walks around looking at the cyro tubes. The first one he comes to he opens the door and a naked male falls out. He thinks about his skill 'Inspection' and a new window pops up in his field.
[Human Male: Dead]
"What a cool trick." He runs to the next one. Opens the tube and a naked female falls out.
[Human Female: Dead]
He does this over and over for the next 5 tubes, all are dead. He comes to the last tube and opens it up. A naked woman of sorts falls to the ground. 'Inspection'
[Zondora Female: Alive]
(The Zondora's look just like humans in every way except for the Mohawk like hair that is actually spikes that can be shot at a person like an Earth Porcupine does).
[Skill Medical Treatment activities. 10%/100%]
After about a minute Zander is hit with multiple notifications.
[10 EXP for successful use of skill]
[Bonus 100 EXP for first time Revival of Zondora Female]
[Quest Complete: Inspect Laboratory]
[10 EXP]
[New companion: Name? Now or later?]