Ted doubted whether it was a good idea to intervene. He was itching to get even with Mrs. Social Climber, but then again, it was in no way smart to make a scene, or postpone the natural ending of the scene that had already been made.
He waited for the captain to come settle the matter, but he was apparently busy with real stuff like captain duties.
Ted rolled his eyes and watched the two women crying and tearing at the bag.
It seemed to go on forever.
"Just drop the wretched thing overboard," Eknie whispered to him. "I can't understand why the friends of the poor one don't jump in. The lady is far more popular than our dear hag."
Some people couldn't understand that their company was tedious at best. This applied to the Climber as well. For the time Ted had observed her, she had made zero actual friends, zero.
Then Ted decided to do something about it.
"If the fair lady is the owner, then there is nothing to argue about, as she will surely be able to say that her mauve lipstick is in the bag," Ted said and faked a coughing fit. He was to play the part of a sickly fellow on a refreshing journey towards the hot springs in the eastern parts of the continent. He could not be too active.
"This is false!" the poor woman cried out. "My lipstick is dark brown and it is still in there!"
Eknie hid her entire face from the view of Mrs. Social Climber, but Ted could see that she was holding back laughter.
A cabin boy had to drag the women left and right until he was finally able to snatch the bag.
"A brown stick!" the young fellow exclaimed. "Just as the lady said!"
"No, no, no, it was the other lipstick I had!" the thief shouted and withdrew, but the damage had been done.
Mrs. Social Climber was now Mrs. Social Faller.
Ted was able to quickly withdraw from the whirlwind of attention, into the real wind on the passenger deck, coughing until he was sure that no one could hear him. Eknie didn't follow him.
The airship looked rather derelict from this angle, with just the strong, sturdy structure of the multi-purpose flying vehicle to keep Ted company. He liked it that way, but he did not allow himself to smoke.
He didn't want to be aboard a burning airship.
He yawned, watching the forests they were gliding over, and realized that they were actually in the Diamond Kingdom right now.
He loved the east, much more than he loved the west, or perhaps love was a strong word and he was merely affected by the magnificent view of the dark green peaks of the trees and the slight tint the strange clouds gave to the little specks of ground visible.
He had to ready himself to throw on another costume of his own making, this time to be sneaky on the ground.
The horrible hag was imprisoned for theft, and her husband bailed her out before the last of the other passengers had unpacked their belongings in a seedy inn.
Ted had a good laugh about the whole situation.
Then he had to return to reality, the reality where he had to assume the identity of a factory worker to gain access to the innermost parts of the modern eastern airship industrial complex.
He considered impersonating a higher-up with the help of the eyeless she-demon, but that was too risky – he could have sent someone more nimble to act on his behalf, but his taste for adventure got the better of him and he decided to don another costume.
Eastern men dressed differently. There was a general trend of stripes going on, while in Sennas, other patterns were strongly favored. Eknie would deal with all the tedious gathering of information, at least until Ted could get inside.
He spread dirt on his face to pass for a factory worker, he dyed his hair auburn, he shortened the sleeves of a cheap shirt and got a pair of trousers that he really was not sure about.
Eknie claimed they looked good, but she would have liked him in a burlap sack just as well.
Ted practiced a generic accent that was as close to the real poorspeak in the east as possible. This was actually the talent he was most proud of at times. His voice was so flexible and his verbal intelligence so high that he could have passed for a Karshaan man if it had not been for his vaguely Sennite features.
He remembered that bit about not being able to look Karshaans in the eye any longer, and he didn't know why, but he shuddered. He had not paid attention to any Karshaans lately.
Perhaps there was something to it, then.
He practiced another fake walking pattern, another set of foreign expressions, and he set out to walk around the town near the factory in order to be able to imitate all the little mannerisms of poor eastern men convincingly enough that he'd get some really juicy industrial tidbits.
He was just about to embark on his final gathering journey when he received a visitor.
It was Mad, in a disguise that almost rivaled Ted's strange shenanigans.
"You look like you're the dream of a country girl with rotten teeth," Madorn said as they sat down in Ted's little inn room.
"Thank you, that's my goal. You don't exactly look too regal, either."
"That's my goal. I came to tell you that you might be able to find the answers from the recycled plumbing of the airships. They're too cheap to throw those parts away, you see."
"Really?" Ted had literally no idea how Mad had found that out, but that was what scientists were for.
"Really. You should try and practice your skills with cleaning metal parts. They will not use water, mind you, water and water seem to go along in a weird way when it comes to magical components. I say, you better get greasing."
"Greasy. Ew."
"It isn't exactly my favorite about life, either, but I do hope you succeed."
Ted stared at his disheveled friend. "What is it that you actually want, Mad? Really?"
Mad stared right back at him, as if the question had been too obvious.
"Progress, at basically any cost."