Chereads / Evil Occultist / Chapter 55 - Guy Stuff

Chapter 55 - Guy Stuff

Golden Swallow swallowed enough gold that he died later that evening.

It was a rather gruesome sight, and while Ted enjoyed such things, he knew that most did not, and he hid the most viscerally scary part of the suffering from the eyes of the cultists.

They could still hear that pained wailing coming from behind the curtains.

"That's actually kind of funny," Eknie whispered to Ted as the screaming seemed to come to a halt. "Golden Swallow swallows -"

"I am not an idiot, Eknie, I don't need you to explain my own jokes to me. How is Mad?"

"Is he ever not on the verge of a complete mental breakdown?" Eknie raised an eyebrow. "He is forgoing the two hours of sleep he talked about. He said it was because he failed to account for breaks. I think it's because he fails to derive any satisfaction from things he considers useless."

"I can't babysit him. What do you reckon we should do?"

"In order to avoid him actually going mad? I think you should take him out for dinner and talk about guy stuff. Normal stuff, you know. Or whatever. The main thing is that you take his attention away from work for a split second."

"You are adept in social leadership," Ted said. He approved this – Eknie had a keen eye for the problems of the mind. It was good to be able to delegate such boring things.

In fact, Eknie had said many intelligent things since their kiss. It had been a most beneficial thing for her.

"I will do as you recommend," Ted said with a subtle nod. "I trust you to not let anyone run away when I am having a late dinner and talking with Mad about…normal guy stuff. Whatever that is."

"Have fun…Ted."

That sounded an awful lot like she had been about to call him darling.

Ted was as much in need of a break as Mad was.

"I could be doing something for you during the approximately very long time it takes for our duck to arrive," Mad remarked, but otherwise he seemed to be settling into his dainty chair in an upscale restaurant rather nicely.

"You are. You are taking me away from a situation where I am surrounded by lesser minds."

"That's a nice way of saying morons."

"I'm a nice person, Mad, of course I put it softly like that. Eknie said we are to talk about guy stuff."

"I wonder what that is," Madorn chuckled.

"I wonder the same. Since neither of us are that big into sports…"

"I used to hunt. Does that count?"

"Hunting with dogs. That is fun, I'll admit that." Ted sighed. At times he thought about adopting another stray dog, but being attached to a living being was more hazardous than running a cult.

"Why are you so fond of animals and so contemptuous towards humans? If it's not too personal."

Ted was tipsy from the wine they had used to line their stomachs before the meal of duck in whatever form it was fashionable to have in at the moment. He wasn't against the idea of opening up to the only man he had a remote semblance of trust towards.

He had been close with his brother until the whole stray dog incident.

It might have been an amazing revelation for everyone at the time, but Ted, who had always been at least a bit callous to the feelings of other humans, had never been needlessly cruel to animals. His first best friend had been a rooster. Then he had raised a cat, and the cat had been dear to him.

His brother, though, was the opposite – kind to humans, but an absolute monster to animals.

Ted had rescued a dog from the gutters. He had treated it until it had regained its health and its fur had been shiny again.

One morning it didn't come to greet him.

It was revealed that Ted's brother had intended to kill it, so the servants had let it go, and no one knew where the dog had gone.

Ted would have loved nothing more than to kill his brother, but for social reasons, it was sometimes just impossible to kill one's own brother.

He tried to do it later in life, but the bastard could protect himself.

"So, while humans turned against you, the animals were always on your side." Madorn nodded. "I can understand that. Animals are so…"

"So much better than humans. Yes. I will not listen to any other opinions." Ted got his plate, and the duck was placed between them on the table. "My, this looks good."

"Eastern style. It's apparent to me that diamonds are in fashion."

"Diamonds are always in fashion, Mad. Are we talking about guy stuff yet?"

"Does it matter? We can tell Eknie we rated her behind, four stars out of five, and almost got into fisticuffs over Neul Gamebreakers being better than Raelian Handball Club."

"What takes the one star away from a perfect rating?" Ted laughed.

"It's to keep her on her toes, my friend…"

Ted started to remember how important moments like this one were. He couldn't just be a cult leader around the clock. There were other matters, too, that meant so much when it came to inspiration and passion. Mad could give him so many ideas that would eventually help him get his kicks out of a random act of violence.

On another note, the duck was just too delicious to even consider skipping the meal. Someone had slit it so that herbs and spices could spread quite an exotic taste to the entire meal, and the two gentlemen were now debating about the best part and whether the sauce should be saved for it.

"Best for last," Ted said.

"Absolutely no. Throw your impulse control away."

"I have already thrown it away. This duck costs as much as the rent of two bedrooms for a month."

"Then you should go easy on the sauce. Reddenberry numbs the tongue a bit. You won't get much out of the parts with…"

Suddenly, Mad turned all green in the face.

He looked like he was going to be sick.