I hauled a medical kit onto a cart. An indescribable feeling ran through my chest--a mixture of excitement, fear, impatience, and exhilaration all mixed into one tainted potion of anguish.
Today was the day, somehow. It was as if it had taken forever to get to this day and now that it was here I couldn't believe it.
I jumped down from the cart, letting a man carrying multiple weapons load his things onto the cart. As I wandered over to the piles of medical gear, extra weapons, and armor, I examined our group of people. There had to be over a hundred, although that didn't seem like nearly enough for what we were about to go through with. I shuddered.
A hand grasped my shoulder. "Let them finish it up, we need to meet in the community center."
I stared up at Blasius, nodding. He didn't show any of the nervousness on his face that I was feeling and it made me wonder if he was scared or not. Or just good at hiding it.
Rows and rows of tables had appeared since the last time I was in the hall to train. We were to celebrate for our last night. For some, this could be the last night they were to ever eat again, or see their families. Or be alive. I didn't want to think about it, but it was inevitable. My anxiety was creeping up, starting with my toes and then wiring itself into my veins, spreading to every extremity I had. It made me jittery, as if I was vibrating, and I was surprised it hadn't split my skin open.
I sat down and leaned back in my chair, shutting my eyes as I forced myself to listen to the shuffling footsteps and chairs scraping against the floor instead of the unnerving voices that were screaming every possible bad thing that could happen tomorrow.
I was going to be sick.
"Thank you all for coming," my father's voice sounded, "I know we've been over this before, but we're going to run through once and for all how this is going to go."
I continued to listen, still not daring to open my eyes, as my father ran through exactly how we'd infiltrate the castle, help all of the other races that were imprisoned within the walls of the dungeon, and ambush the King while he was sitting on his pretty little throne. Blasius was the next to lecture, continuing from where my father had left off, in an undoubtedly demanding voice, garnering everyone's attention whether they wanted to give it or not. A true alpha.
When he sat back down beside me, he placed a large hand on my thigh just above my knee, squeezing gently. Whether it was to get my attention or an act of comfort, I wasn't sure, but I didn't move an inch. I stayed, listening to one of the Elven ambassadors relay the last of the steps we were to take to victory.
When she finished, I finally opened my eyes, allowing my eyes to feast on the foods that were being placed in front of me by some of the newly trained medics. Everything looked so appealing, but my stomach whirled at the thought of eating.
Blasius leaned forward, plucking meats and vegetables of all kinds, some I had never even eaten in my life. He took my plate from where it sat in front of me, untouched, repeating the process.
"If you don't eat, you won't have the strength you need for tomorrow." I huffed in response.
Although I wasn't particularly hungry, Blasius was right. And the fig he set on my plate was so ripe and appealing, I couldn't help myself as I reached forward and began eating.
♕♕♕
That night I laid awake in the small, child's bed I had been sleeping in for the past who-knows-how-long. It was quite possibly the last night I'd ever sleep in a bed again, or sleep at all for that matter. I was small. Bony. Fragile. What was I doing, thinking I could go up against royal guards and succeed? They'd have my head in seconds.
"Blasius?"
"Hm?"
"You're awake."
"So are you."
I stood up, walking over to the bedside table and allowing the moonlight pouring in the window to guide my hand as I lit one of the candles standing on a metal plate. Once it illuminated Blasius's figure, he scooted back towards the wall, holding the thin sheet up and patting the just-emptied mattress space. Which, by the way, I graciously took up within a matter of seconds.
One of his muscled arms held his head up as he eyed me wearily, but the other snaked around my waist, cupping just below my breast. He slid himself forward, letting our bodies touch, only separated by our sleepwear.
"Blasius," I said. choosing my words carefully, "I know before I said I wasn't ready, that I didn't want to do anything with you, but..."
I didn't even finish before he rolled over, hovering above me. I could feel his body heat radiating down in waves that my body eagerly soaked up and allowed to establish in a pit just below my stomach.
If this could be our last night together, I wanted something to leave by. Blasius had told me this was the last step to finalizing our bond and I wanted to mark our relationship in the stars. Although I would certainly be content cuddled up to him all night, I wanted more. To offer all of myself to him, and to possess all he was in return.
We were about to risk our lives, and the execution of one of us could mean to death of us both.
This could have been an impulsive decision in the face of death, but I didn't care. I was ready.
Blasius leaned down, sweeping my lips up in a passionate kiss. As if it was second nature at this point, even though we had only intertwined ourselves a handful of times, my hand worked its way to the back of his neck, toying with the hairs there. I pushed back against his lips with fiery desire and his lips twisted against mine into a smile at the gesture.
And this time, when he reached for the buttons on my dress, I let him.
I even assisted him, propping myself up by my elbows and shimmying as the nightgown slid down my shoulders, then my arms. When I looked up at him, his eyes were too busy to even notice as they glided down my bare body, raking in every single detail. At some point, the flare up in my cheeks became too much and I had to pull Blasius in for another kiss; anything to tug him away from worshiping my body, as flattering as that was.
While he was distracted by our tongues dancing in the space where our mouths conjoined, I took my opportunity to rid him of his night shirt and the matching silk pants. When I pulled away once again, I audibly gasped, the proof of my mate's arousal being presented before me.
And, oh gods, I knew it was going to ruin me.
And ruin me it did. Long into the hours of the night, taking a piece of my innocence that Blasius would keep forever.