I was standing in the bathroom looking into the tiny mirror. It wasn't much, about the size of my hand, and extremely cracked and cloudy, but I was working with whatever I could at this point. I wasn't exactly thrilled to see what reflected back to me. My cheeks had hallowed out from the cut portions that we had been getting recently and my skin seemed even paler than usual if that was possible.
Before exiting the bathroom I look up. The ceiling is short, probably not even high enough for Menas or Blasius to stand up straight and the paint was peeling and mouldy, most likely due to water damage. I reached up and broke a paint chip off with a satisfying ecrunch. The act was almost soothing in a way so I picked the paint a little more. Once satisfied, I exited the room to find Silva, Menas, and Blasius sitting around in a circle.
"Amicia, don't you think things would be so much easier if we had mates too? At least that would save us the trouble of heartbreak."
I think about Silva's question a little before answering. Heartbreak. Perhaps vampires like her were given a little more freedom when it came to who they entered romantic relationships with, but for humans that wasn't especially the case.
I shrugged, "I'm not quite too sure about mates, but in human culture people tend to marry whoever their parents set them up with from childhood so we don't really go through break ups."
"So you don't get any choice of who you end up with?" Silva asks, eyes wide.
I just shake my head. "For the most part, no, but some people get to if their parents let them."
"So then it's similar to werewolves then, in a way," Menas adds.
"Even more so because mates aren't werewolf-specific," Blasius says, resting his head back on the stone wall behind him. Both Silva and I show our confusion on our face so he continues, "Werewolves can be paired with non-werewolf mates. It's rare, but it happens."
"Have you guys met your mates?" Silva asks the two boys.
Menas just shakes his head no, but I watch as the blush creeps up on his face. Blasius on the other hand hesitated before answering.
"I have. It's a little complicated though." He looks like he wants to say more, but keeps it simple.
"How do you know when you meet your mate?" I question.
Blasius leans forward off the wall and smiles momentarily. "A natural instinct may be the only way to describe it. You just know. There's just a connection that can't be explained any other way. Or at least, that's how it's like for us. When humans or other races are mates, it's similar but less intense."
I think back to the day I met Blasius. A natural connection. It sounded familiar to the way I had felt when I had first laid eyes on him. Although I had chalked it up to learning that he was an alpha, a position needing to rouse in others a certain amount of respect and trust for him, a wondered if there was something more to it.
The man stared at me. Something in his gaze felt familiar and comforting, almost. Like I had known him for my entire life. A comfort only your family and closest friends could provide.
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"So, what I'm hearing is you trust me?" He asked.
"I do."
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He felt good and right and nice. But how could I be saying something like that? We just met.
Those were only a few of the times I had felt unexplainably close to him during the first few days since we had met. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but there was part of me that hoped what I was feeling for him was this special bond and not something all in my head. Blasius had proven to be a very strong and courageous yet soft and helpful person, and I wouldn't mind knowing there was something between us.
While I wasn't exactly sure what this "mate" thing entailed, it sure would explain a lot. Despite my curiosity, I wasn't about to ask him about it. Although this was probably the best time to ask about it considering we were on the topic and there was no telling what the king had in store for us, there was something in me that told me to wait. Perhaps it was simply fear of being rejected or me knowing that this was nothing more than a silly little teenage crush, I didn't have the heart to ask how he felt in return. I was, however, still curious about what mates were though, which prompted me to ask him more about it.
"It's similar to a human marriage, but where humans get divorced, werewolves tend to mate for life. They're so closely connected that when one dies the other will die very soon afterwards, if not instantly," he pauses, taking a moment to watch as I nod along, then continues. "The feelings are just the beginning though, there's more to strengthening the bond though, called sealing it."
"Like what?"
"It starts with a mark that confirms the relationship. It acts as both an indicator for other werewolves to know that the person is taken but it also intensifies the feelings between the two mates. Then comes the final step, that's a whole different conversation, though." He waves his hand, a signal that that isn't something that needs to be talked about.
Still, I can't help but be curious. But I don't push. All of this new information is already a lot to take in. It makes me think back to Silva's question. Although in my culture we tend to stay together with the person our parents pick for us even if it doesn't work out, that doesn't guarantee love and getting along. If a mate is a near-instant bond that lasts for a lifetime, it sure would make things much easier for other races, including mine.
I shook my head. Thinking these thoughts only made me more hopeful that I would get that kind of relationship eventually. I had been very secluded all of my life and the only close relationships that weren't familial were with the people right here in this very room. It wasn't a surprise that as soon as I got close to someone I would start idealizing and fantasizing about these relationships. It sounded almost pathetic.
I looked up at him to see him watching intently. It made me heart jump and squeeze at the same time. Before now, I had never really thought about how I felt about him and it was so overwhelming and confusing. I didn't want to get my hopes up but at the same time I didn't want to self-sabotage.
"I'm glad you seem so interested," he smiled gently. I return the smile. Searching in his eyes, the only thing I could tell was that I needed to stop thinking so much and go with my gut.