'Alright, Matt. What the fuck do you want?'
She was looking at me with strange intensity, not exactly hostile, but far from friendly as well. Defensive, maybe. But then, sometimes the best defense is offense, right?
I let a couple of seconds pass by, thinking. I was still wearing the cute barista Matt mask, smiling like a fool, all white teeth and pleasantness. My coworkers were out of earshot, but we were in their field of vision. More importantly, the Protectors had a perfect angle of my grinning face through the shop window.
That's okay. I prepared for this.
Without changing expression, I said:
'I want to talk.'
She leaned back a little and looked at me, one eyebrow raised.
'Is this some kind of a joke to you? Or are you just mentally challenged? In any case, I'm dead serious, so maybe you should stop smiling.'
I didn't.
'Yeah, I could. But then people will notice.'
I raised my voice and said.
'One macchiato, coming right up!'
And then, quieter:
'Appearances are important, right?'
She was taken aback a little. I guess, from her point of view, I was some carefree fool who had been stalking her since the party. The last thing she must have expected was discretion.
She frowned.
'Okay. What do you want to talk about?'
Yes! This was what I hoped for. I gave her space, and now she didn't feel as threatened -- because I had become familiar, and she held all the initiative. She was ready to initiate contact. The only problem now was that the Protectors were watching.
I looked around carefully and leaned forward.
'Not here. Take your coffee, walk around the block, meet me at the back in ten minutes.'
She smiled elegantly.
'I didn't say I'm willing to talk. I just asked what do you want to tell me.'
Ah. She didn't want to release control of the situation. But I could see that she was curious now, too. She wanted to know what this was all about. It was dangerous to push her now: if she felt threatened, she would retreat. I had to be very, very careful with what I say next.
I moved my shoulders.
'Listen. I have a break in ten minutes. Either you'll be there, or you won't. It's your decision.'
She took her macchiato, gave me an unreadable look, and left.
#
The alley behind the coffee shop was narrow and long. Two large dumpsters blocked the view of the back door from both of its ends, which was perfect for me. What's even better, I knew that the PA only monitored the exits, in case I decide to leave the shop this way. It was a perfect place to talk to Tanya in private, although not for long: my absence would be noticed, and if I were to stay there for too long, someone might connect two dots and understand that I had a meeting with her.
In ten minutes, I said that I'm taking a break and asked one of my colleagues to switch with me on the register. She looked at the watch, then at me, and said:
'Yeah, okay. Just don't be too long, we're about to get swarmed by the morning people.'
I thanked her, took off my apron, and went out from the back.
'Please be there.'
I opened the door and stepped out, remembering the day I met Mickey. He tried to beat me up in an alley much like this one, and that's how our friendship began.
Come to think of it, the next time I found myself in an alley, someone tried to beat me up too. I hoped that this time would be different. The third time's a charm, right?
'Tanya?'
She was there, standing in the middle of the alley in her white coat, drinking coffee. There was a displeased expression on her face. I guess I wouldn't want to be in a place as dirty as this one in a white coat too.
'Hey. You're here.'
She gave me a grim look.
'I want some answers now, Matt. Or whatever your name is.'
'Okay.'
'Is this some kind of a sick sexual thing? You saw a pretty wraith girl at a party, and decided that stalking her will win her over?'
I raised an eyebrow.
'Or are you my long-lost half-brother or something?' A shadow ran across her face. 'Oh God. Please don't tell me that it's both. It's not both, right?'
I coughed.
'Uh, no.'
'Then what is it? And why couldn't we talk in the coffee shop?'
How to explain? I wasn't even sure myself, completely, about why I wanted to find Zero. What answers could he have that I lusted for so madly? Did I really want to know how my mother died, in detail? It won't bring her back. It won't make me feel better. If anything, knowing the grim details of her time at the Farm would make everything worse.
I guess it wasn't so much that I wanted to know, it was that I couldn't go on not knowing anymore.
'Okay. First, my name really is Matt. Second, we couldn't talk inside because the PA watches the shop.'
Her face grew a little bit pale.
'Why does the PA watch the coffee shop across from my office?'
'Well, they don't exactly watch the shop. They watch me.'
She was silent for several seconds. Then she said:
'Are you sick?'
Was I? No, I didn't think that I was. My fingers tingled.
'No.'
'Then why do they watch you? Are they watching me, too?'
They weren't. I learned it early on, after watching Tanya for a week or so. She didn't have her own entourage. Which meant that she wasn't one of the Protector's own wards, like me or Mickey. She had never seen the photo of Zero. At least that's what we thought.
'No, only me. And why... well, that's a long story. And it partially connects to why I wanted to talk.'
'I have plenty of fucking time, so start talking!'
I sighed.
'No, you don't. My break is five minutes. If I'm gone longer, they'll notice. And being noticed by the PA is not something I want.'
'Then why the hell did you even tell me to come here?!'
'To convince you to meet me later, at a safer place.'
She exhaled, irritated.
'Why would I do that? You accost me at the party, stalk me for a month, and then tell me you're in trouble with the PA. Who in their sound mind would want to have anything to do with that? Without even knowing what "that" is, exactly?'
I was thinking. I needed to convince her to meet me and Mickey somewhere where the Protectors won't see. Her curiosity was my ally. Her self-preservation instinct was my enemy. So how much should I tell? What would pick her interest enough, but not frighten her away from all of this?
'You used to come in for the test to the hospital, right?'
'What does it have to do with anything? Yes, of course I did. Until they had to move because of the fire. You know that, you must have been there yourself a hundred times.'
I nodded.
'Okay, What if I tell you that the fire didn't just start by itself?'
'What do you mean?'
'Someone had burned that place on purpose. Practically incinerated it.'
Her face changed, and she took a step back.
'Was it you?'
I frowned.
'What? No, of course not! I'm not crazy!'
Tanya sighed with relief.
'I just thought... why else would they follow you?'
I shook my head.
'No, no. I didn't have anything to do with the fire. But they think that the person responsible might try to contact me.'
'Why?'
'I don't know. This whole story is pretty weird. But I do know who they are looking for, and I want to find him first.'
'Why would you want to do that?'
This was the moment of truth.
'Because he knew our parents. Mine and yours. He might... know what happened to them.'
Her face froze.
'What do you know about my parents?'
I looked at my watch. Crap. No more time.
'Listen, Tanya. I need to get back. If you want to really know what's going on, we need to talk somewhere more private. If you don't... well, I understand. Just tell me now, yes or no.'
Say yes. Come on, Tanya. Say it.
She frowned, look down at her coffee, then back at me.
'I need time to think. I'll let you know.'
I sighed. Well, at least it wasn't a no.
'Okay. See you later.'
'See you later, Matt.'
She turned to walk away, and then said:
'By the way? Your coffee is shit.'
Jesus Christ, what's with all of them hating on my coffee?