I was tired and still in the mood for killing so Rayen and Lupin led me into the elevator, forgoing the stairs. We reached the top of the building in a few silent moments. I was replaying different scenarios in which I killed Niel Buckingham in new and creative ways. My sword was strapped to my hip and my hands ached to hold it. What the other wolves thought about was a mystery.
The doors dinged and slid open. We all shuffled down the hall and into Lupin's suite. Ava and Ember sat on large white leather chairs, August and Autumn at their feet. Arrow laid on the carpet, playing some sort of game with the toddlers that sent them cackling. Tristan and Declan both sat at the kitchen island, drinks in hand, watching the children play.
I kicked off my shoes and sunk into a nearby giant couch, sighing as I went. Lupin and Rayen went to nearby lounge chairs, sitting down with the same morbidity. Tristan came over and sunk into the chair with his mate, pulling her into his lap, she wrapped around him and curled up. Declan also joined the group, sitting on the floor with his children, both squealing in joy and piling onto his lap. Arrow sat up and looked at me.
"Not a productive outing?" He asked standing up to sit beside me. I groaned, lulling my head against the couch.
"Neil Buckingham decided that it would be a great time to make an appearance." Arrow grimaced plopping down next to me. Neil had met my brother, unaware that Arrow was my brother Niel had assumed he was my boyfriend, he then tried to bribe him to break up with me. It was a miracle Niel was still breathing. The zombie was, surprisingly, really good at not getting caught, so with no proof I could not ask for his punishment.
Salem had given me Camille for the job, my family rather invested in getting rid of my stalker. Camille was my brother's spy, a new recruit, he figured catching Neil on camera was a nice first mission for the woman. She had happily agreed. I was glad that the problem, that was Neil Buckingham, could finally be over.
"She caught it." I assured him. He blew out a breath.
"Good riddance." I smiled, fully in agreement.
"Neil Buckingham?" Ava asked incredulously. "As in, the zombie prince?" I nodded and she sat up straight. "You know the zombie prince?" I stared at her, she looked so excited.
"Trust me Ava." Rayen muttered. "They're not on good terms." Ava's eyes narrowed at me in accusation, apparently it was my fault.
"Why not?" She asked.
"Because he's an asshole." Lupin supplied and Arrow snorted.
"The prince of the zombies is an asshole?" Tristan asked, wanting more information.
"Most definitely." Arrow assured him. My brother glanced at me. "What did he do this time?" I shrugged.
"Accused me of being a whore because I wouldn't sleep with him." My brother's shadows danced and wreathed about his skin.
"That seems rather illogical." Declan said, trying to keep his children from fighting over who got more of his lap. In the end, he pulled them off and restricted either of them from sitting on his lap.
"Well he thought I had slept with Lupin, and so thus I was a slut." All the wolves looked at me, save Lupin and Rayen. Their eyes glowed, a mix of gold and silver, at the implied insult. That sleeping with Lupin, their Alpha, made me a sex toy.
"Enough." Lupin growled and the wolves blinked, their eyes going dim. The wolves looked back at me apologetically knowing it had not been me that insulted their Alpha, their friend. I nodded back my understanding.
"Why did he assume you were sleeping together?" Ember asked, watching August try to crawl back into his fathers lap and Autumn's attempts to stop him. I sighed, closing my eyes.
"Because I have this uncanny need to paint the momentous occasions that happen in my life." I muttered, wishing more and more that I had never presented that piece. Arrow gasped smiling and clapped his hands. Overly enthusiastic over my frustration.
"You painted him." He said, smiling like it was Christmas day. "Oh that's just glorious."
"You're a butthead." I said kicking my brother in the ribs. He ignored me, pushing my feet aside and sitting forward.
"So?" Arrow said, smiling at Lupin. "Was it glorious?" Lupin regarded my brother and then looked at me and smiled.
"Yes, I suppose it was." And for whatever reason my stupid heart skiped a beat. My face flushed and I turned away from him. Arrow grinned impishly.
"Which wall are you going to put that one on?" My brother intoned, voice sultry and mocking. I kicked him harder and he fell off the couch.
"Be quiet, butthead." Arrow laughed gleefully and settled onto the floor. August changed tactics and went to sit in Arrows lap, but Autumn wouldn't have that either.
"What painting?" Ava asked and I sat up a little looking at the confused wolves who still didn't know who I was. Rayen squealed and sat up a little, still holding on to Tristan.
"Fable is Leviathan." She announced. "It's like the superhero has been unmasked." She helpfully described. The room of werewolves stared at me.
"You're Leviathan?" Ember asked her voice high and face shocked.
"Yep." I nodded, her eyes went wider.
"You painted all the pictures, literally hanging on his wall?" She asked, pointing to the wall for emphasis. I nodded again.
"Yes."
"All of them?"
"Yes, Ember." I said getting slightly frustrated. Rayen perked up.
"Wait, really?" She said looking over at the wall. I nodded, once again.
"Yep."
"Even the two on the bottom?"
"Yes, Rayen." I said slowly. Arrow looked up at me, faking shock.
"Really?" I hit him in the back of the head and he sniggered, ducking down.
"Just don't talk, you hear me. Quite." My brother laughed and went back to watching the toddlers, basically playing musical chairs between Arrow and Declan.
"So you're the famous Leviathan?" Tristan said smiling at me.
"I'm not that famous." He shrugged.
"You are around here. Do you know how many bets have been started over whether Leviathan was the creator behind the two corner paintings?" I looked over at Lupin and he shrugged.
"Wolves like betting and there's no way to actually prove it." I lifted my eyebrows at him.
"Uh, there is a way to actually prove it." I pointed at the canvases bearing pieces of my soul. "I painted them." Rayen groaned.
"I owe so many people money." I smiled a little as Tristan assured her that he bet the same people, the opposite thing, for the same amount of money.
"Did you really paint them?" I looked over at Lupin and watched his eyes ask me for honesty.
"Yes, Lupin." I said.
"Hmm." He said in response and I watched the surprise bloom on his face.
"You didn't think I was the true creator?" He shrugged.
"No. But like I said it was never about that."
"What was it about?" I asked, teasingly. He looked over at the paintings and then met my eye.
"They looked unloved. I wanted to prove otherwise." I stared at him for a long moment, my shoulders sagging. Then I looked over and studied my art. The hopeful little girl and hopeless woman. Two people I could've been, would've been, and had never been. I hated them, hadn't loved the painting or what it said. They were small flashes of what I was. I hated them. He had chosen to love them.
"Weren't you going to burn those?" Arrow asked.
"Silence, Arrow. It exists. Even for you." He smiled up at me and I knew he had done it intentionally. To save me from crying in front of all the badass werewolves. I turned to Lupin.
"Thank you." I said and he met my eye.
"Were you really going to burn them?" I smiled.
"Yes." I glanced at the painting. "Yes, I hate those paintings." I looked back at him, his eyes stared into mine.
"I'm sorry." I shook my head.
"I submitted them to prove something to myself. That they couldn't be loved." I shrugged. "You proved me wrong."
Rayen clicked her tongue and heaved a sigh, a little more attuned to a groan. Stretching up and stepping out of the arms of her mate. She rolled her eyes and made her way towards the kitchen, stepping over the still arguing children.
"And on that lovely note, I'm hungry." She said walking past my couch and winking at me.
"Rayen." Lupin warned, his voice low but face amused.
"What?" Rayen said, spinning around to face her cousin. "We can't all be overly sappy, yet delightfully awkward, mates." She snarked an evil smile stretching her lips, eyes bright with delight.
"Mated pair." Ember helpfully reminded her, eyes still on her bantering toddlers.
"Right." Rayen said, a nod of thanks to Ember.
"Wait." Arrow said, turning to face me. "Really?" I scrunched my nose, but nodded.
"I mean, we won't know for sure until the Bond is accepted." Lupin gently explained, at the look in my brother's eyes.
"The Bond." Ava glared at me. "A true wolf would have already accepted." Ava muttered, disdain clear in her voice. The wolves collectively glared at the small woman, her sharp eyes did not leave mine.
"That is uncalled for." Lupin reprimanded, voice low and gravelly. But his eyes did not glow, his magic stayed concealed, simply her friend. Well, her slightly pissed off friend.
But I didn't disagree with her assessment. If Lupin had mated with a werewolf, a true wolf, as Ava put it, the werewolf would probably already have agreed. But it was Lupin's strength, his power, that made it impossible for him to match with any other werewolf. It was my power, and his power, both equally matched in strength, that made us a pair.
I spent my entire life believing, much like Heather, that I would never find a mate. Not simply for my belief that I was undeserving, but also for thinking my monster was incapable of being matched.
I had felt Lupin's power, just the little of it that he had released, it was endless, bottomless, and overwhelming. But then I had also seen his wolf, and as beautiful as he was, he seemed… normal.
I looked over at Lupin, his eyes watching me, the wolves waiting to see how I responded. I knew that he matched me, he had to, seeing as we had been Bonded. He hid it so well, though, almost as well as me.
I knew how shapeshifter magic worked, I had to know, had to learn. It had been made a part of my schooling. Necessary, my father had said. So I studied Shifters and researched, asked questions, and inevitably learned more about werewolves than the average Joe.
All shapeshifters, and trust me there are more than just werewolves, have a spectrum of magic. Werewolves sort themselves out with the titles known of their wolf brethren: alpha, omega, and beta. Shapeshifter magic is the Shift, the stronger the magic, the easier and quicker the Shift. Werewolves that manage to Shift are automatically titled beta. Now, there are some shapeshifters that have an overabundance of magic, that excess of magic is funneled into their animal, increasing their average strength and speed. Those wolves are classified as alpha, and the more magic they have the stronger they are. Now, there were those that have so little magic that they couldn't even manage the Shift, those were omega, the weakest of the werewolves. Omega were rare and revered, their lack of strength made them unable to challenge or climb the ranks, in turn they were protected by the whole of the Pack.
The werewolves in this room were all, undoubtedly, ranked alpha. Even the toddlers emanated shifter magic.
I had never thought about it, really. What my mate would have to be. And he would have to be something extraordinary to match me and mine.
I switched my eyes, changing them to see through the eyes of my monster. I watched the werewolves flinch around me as I blinked. I had seen my monster's eyes before, Echo had taken a candid picture of me, convinced I didn't realize how creepy I looked. In retrospect, she had been right.
The whites of my eyes spread into black, like water into a napkin. The usual blue of my irises spiraling and expanding into a pupiless blood-red glow. I couldn't disagree, it was eerie. The werewolves were realizing that. But with the monster's eyes I could see magic. I watched the realistic world of color and detail dim, and magic highlighted the air. The dark royal blue of shapeshifter magic whirling around most of the people in the room. The blue waves of mist, curled heaviest around Ember and Rayen, but all of them were glorious. Sitting under dense clouds of unparalleled magic. They were all extremely powerful, it was baffling.
The monster saw them, watched their roiling power and stretched. He wanted to face them, assess their threat level. The monster regarded them all skeptically unsure if my assessment of them as "friend" was to be believed.
*We have been betrayed before.*
He reminded me, voice clearer as he neared the surface. I couldn't disagree with that. My lip pulled up as the monster and I aligned.
Arrow's hand rested on my knee. I looked down at my brother, his eyes questioning me gently. His dark magic curling around him like a second skin, shifting and restless like faceless grey snakes. Those snakes lifted and reached towards me, caressing my skin. The sensation was as comforting and familiar as it was bone chilling.
The monster relaxed under the touch of our brother. I eased the monster, promising a battle soon to come, but not yet. The monster smiled farewell at our brother and slipped away.
I turned to Lupin, reminded why I had called on the monster. I don't know what I expected but he was empty. A dim thread of blue twined through his essence, but nothing else. I would think he was an omega if I didn't know any better. It was uncanny.
I managed to tuck away my monster, make my magic imprint only the white of most Banshees, but I still looked magic. Still radiated the magic of my ancestors. Lupin appeared almost human in magic capabilities. It should be impossible.
"Where are you?" I asked inadvertently, a whisper of confusion and awe. Lupin's lips tugged up just slightly, his eyes glinting a similar awe, directed at me.
Magic rolled out of him like a steam room's door opened. The gleaming blue tendrils of magic, rich and opaque, swirling and curling throughout the air. The others couldn't see it, not like I could, very few people have Sight. But everyone in the room sensed it. Even the toddlers stopped bickering to stare at their Uncle.
Arrow whipped his head around, aware of my monster's lurking, looking. He meant to protest and warn, I knew, but I silenced him with a hand on his shoulder. It was true my monster stalked about, still antsy at being unused. But we would never mistake Lupin's magic as a threat. It was the magic of our mate and it was oh so very beautiful.
His magic kept going and going and going. That sense of forest and hunt and fur, it brushed my skin, the touch of an animal and it was hungry, it wanted a taste. The wolves around me watched Lupin, anxious in the density of his magic, but their gazes slid to me as I abided by the urges of the animal.
The white magic of my banshee ancestors, expanding and twirling about Lupin's magic. I let go of the monster's magic and my white bled into a light blue, shining and bright. I let my magic grow, pulling down the carefully constructed shields. My monster revelled in the stretch and Lupin's magic met mine. Growing and matching and rejoicing. It was wonderful.
"Fable." Arrow reprimanded, his voice brought me down from the magical high. I snapped in my magic, pulling up my shields, my monster roared in protest. The animal that was Lupin's magic watched me for a moment, hoping that my magic, it's prey, would come back. Slowly it pulled away, the wolf somber but resigned to the loss of it's meal.
When all the dark blue tendrils of magic were tucked away, I closed my eyes and pushed the monster away. He strayed for a moment to ask that we talk soon, at my agreement he slipped back under my ribcage.
I opened my eyes, now their typical blue, and stared at Lupin. He, in turn, stared at me, waiting.
"What are you?" I breathed. Lupin chuckled slightly but shrugged.
"I'm a werewolf." I rolled my eyes and sat back on the couch, crossing my arms.
"Yeah, and I'm just a regular banshee." Ava snorted, apparently unfazed by the firework display of our daunting powers.
"You're also an Impiriuil." She rolled her eyes, throwing up her hands. "Whatever that means." She muttered, irritated.
"She's also a Banphrionsa." Rayen helpfully supplied, sputtering over the pronunciation. "Again," She shrugged. "Whatever that means." I squinted at her as she made her way back to Tristan's lap, drink in one hand, brownie in the other.
"If you're going to eat my brownies," I said, mock spite in my voice. "Don't reveal my secrets." She flashed me a cheeky smile and bit into the brownie. I shook my head but couldn't resist the smile. I met Arrows imploring eyes but shrugged, it couldn't be helped. When you try to keep secrets from a group of nosy werewolves that you can't avoid, your secrets tend to come to light.
Arrow gave me a look I couldn't quite describe and nodded. He turned back to the twins, who had somehow gotten over their squabble, and were now dutifully gossiping in babble code. I shook my head as my brother went to join in on the gossip, proclaiming that, yes, I was a Banphrionsa, or as the babies said Ba-pa-pa-sa. My brother also delightfully added that all the hard ass werewolves were stupid and would never figure out what it meant.
I tried not to smile as a few of the wolves growled. But he was right, he always was, and the conversation was dropped.
"Yes," Arrow cooed at Autumn. "Your Uncle Lupin is the stupidest of them all." Autumn gleefully squealed her amusement, to which Ember laughed.
Arrow had always been good with kids, he said they were quieter. His Shadows tended to be silent around children. Kids didn't have as many secrets as adults did, so his Shadows didn't whisper back their truths.
Arrow had spent years as a servant to secrets. He didn't like knowing everything about a person, he considered it a violation. However he couldn't control what his Shadows wanted to know. So he liked children, they silenced the whispers.
Lupin's phone rang and I looked at him as he pulled it out of his pocket. It reminded me that I needed to get a new phone. I glanced away thinking over how I could manage it.
"Lupin Hunt." He said into the phone. A moment passed, I looked up when there was no response. He shrugged at my look.
"Hello?" He said, the speaker crackled and then went silent.
"So sorry dear." My mothers voice echoed through the phone, louder to my ears then it probably was. Arrow looked up at Lupin, a smile attempting to be repressed.
"I needed to reach my daughter and decided to simply call back the number she had used. Never even crossed my mind that she had borrowed your phone." Her voice trailed off for a moment. "Is Fable there?" Lupin passed his phone to me, smiling reassuringly, knowing my exhaustion.
"Mom?" I questioned, the phone at my ear. I heard her sigh.
"Hello my dear, Echo's on her way." I hummed my response, too tired to muster an opinion. "I also received a phone call from Abigail. She is concerned about a certain werewolf inquiring about our family. I figure you can head that front?" I met Lupin's eye and his brow quirked. Now how did my wolf know the exiled Mabon head witch?
"Of course." And the line clicked off. I passed the phone back and Lupin watched me, inquiring. I sat straighter and crossed my legs.
"How do you know the Albion Witch?" Lupin leaned back, shoulders rolling, head lifting. The Alpha, unused to being questioned. I squared my own shoulders and met his eyes. I was not playing this game. He relented, head lowering.
"She is associated with my mother." He explained. "She used to extend help to our Pack. Witches are the best to hire when werewolves have made something of a… public mess." I nodded, many supernaturals hired witches as their clean up crew.
"You called her to ask about me?" Lupin squinted and glanced at his sister. She pursed her lips and nodded sheepishly. Lupin looked at me and grimaced.
"It seems my mother was informed of your… unknown history." He growled, a pointed look at his sister. "Albion and my mother remained in touch even after she left the Mabon Coven." I groaned and fell back against the couch.
"Abby didn't leave the Coven, Lupin, she was kicked out. The only reason she isn't dead is because there isn't a witch alive that could kill her." Lupin winced.
"And you know the Albion Witch how?" My wolf questioned, skeptically. Arrow smiled lovingly.
"She's our Aunt Abby." He helpfully supplied. Lupin winced further, joined by the audience of wolves. I cleared my throat and my brother's smile disappeared.
"Lupin." I said, his eyes meeting mine. "She is our family and we are hers." I leaned forward. "Inform your mother that asking the Albion Witch questions about me and my family will lead to her death." The wolf sneered, unapproving of the implied threat. But the man knew it as the warning it was. Lupin nodded and glanced at Ember. The Packs Judge straightened and bowed her head slightly. Ember stood, as well as her husband, and together, with their children in arms, they made their way out of the room. August waving goodbye over his father's shoulder.
The door shut behind them the sound resounding, quick and loud. Ending in a brutally apparent silence. I could feel his questions, like strings pulling on my soul. I didn't like it very much. As if he were trying to make me into his puppet and control me as he liked. I was no one's puppet. Nor was he my master.
I turned, cutting my gaze to him. Eyes meeting eyes, like the starting stance of a fight. I pulled back on his strings, the wolf growled on the other end, too used to submission.
"Can we talk?" I whispered. My monster shivering in my voice. Lupin raised his head, no longer regarding me.
"Dismissed." The wolves stood as one and shuffled out. Arrow turned to me smiling gently and followed after the group of werewolves.
The door closed again, and silence met silence.
Leather sighed as Lupin stood up. I turned to look at him as he walked away, his back to me. He stops in front of the wall of my art pieces.
The strings had stopped pulling, but I still felt them. Like loose knots, sagging and slipping.
"Ask your questions, Lupin." I sighed, eyes on his back.
"Will you answer?" I untied the bun from my head, blonde hair falling around my shoulders.
"Only one way to find out." I muttered, tired and achy. Lupin sighed, the tension in his shoulders sagging.
"How do you know the Albion Witch?" I tsked, pulling my hair to the side.
"I know her as Abigail Kellbeck. She's my mom's best friend. They've known each other for years." I leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. "I've known Abby all my life, she watched me walk for the first time, changed my diapers and kept me safe from the scary things in the dark. She's my Aunt, Lupin." I smiled. "For all intents and purposes, anyway." He chuckled darkly, still watching the unmoving paintings.
"And here I thought we had an ally in her." He shook his head. "Didn't even know her name." He muttered, sounding darkly amused.
"You do have her as an ally, Lupin." He turned slightly, watching me out of the corner of his eye. I shrugged. "Your mother asked uncomfortable questions about me, yet she's still breathing. Abby called my mother and warned us, instead of dealing with it herself." I smiled. "Abby could have killed your mother and would never be blamed for it. She didn't want to though, so she let us deal with it." I shrugged again. "That's about as close as you can get to having Abby as an ally."
"Not outright killing us if we become too nosy?" He nodded, scoffing. "I guess that's good." Lupin turned, leaning against the wall, facing me.
"Why do you seem to know so many influential people?" He asked, eyes dark and regarding me. I squinted at him.
"Why is the Pack seemingly unaffiliated with anyone influential?" He shrugged.
"We're werewolves, we don't involve ourselves in other species' political battles." I smiled small.
"Well banshees do involve themselves." He smiled back at my lack of answer but accepted the response. He looked away from me and his smile faded.
"You thought I'd be disappointed?" I groaned and sank lower into the couch. I knew we would talk about it: the real reason I didn't tell him I was Leviathan. The thought that he had gleaned from my head.
"The fact that you can basically read my mind is going to get really annoying, really fast." I closed my eyes, waiting for his response, feeling his thoughts rolling around in his head.
"I'm not." He clears his throat. "You know, disappointed." I knew perfectly well we weren't talking about paint anmore. I opened my eyes and glanced at him. In his eyes I see his honesty and can feel it in that place where our bond grows. I smile bitterly.
"I can't be what you expected." I wasn't a werewolf. I wasn't ready to accept our Bond and produce his little horde of wolf pups. I wasn't some normal human that could fit into his world and mold. I was Fable Walker, born to the Banshee Impiriuil's, seventh of the Keener line, the fourth generation pureblood, and I had all the perks that came with it. I would not fit and he would not appreciate my perks. Lupin sighed and pushed off the wall. He stopped in front of me and kneeled down.
"I suppose that's true." He breaths. "But then I never really expected anyone." He sighs at my look. "I didn't think I'd get a mate, so I never really imagined..." He smiled sadly and glanced away. When he looked back his smile was easier. "I could definitely do worse." I shook my head but couldn't disagree. I could definitely do worse.
I raised my hand and brushed my fingers against his cheek. He leaned into my fingers and I smiled, every bit of me pleased.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. Because as much as I wanted to be better, to fit into his mold, to be able to give him whatever it was he needed. That wasn't what I was. In fact, I refused it.
Call it what you want, trauma or stubbornness. I would not submit, I would not be used. Not again.
Lupin shook his head and gently placed his fingers over my hand.
"I would never ask you to be any less than what you are." His beautiful eyes watching me, intensely serious. "You are not a disappointment, Fable. You are strong and beautiful and kind and stubborn and you view the world in a way that I could only admire." He pulls my hand to his mouth and gently brushes his lips over my knuckles. "I do not know all of you, but from what I have seen, I could not possibly be disappointed."
I release a ragged breath and take my hand away. My wicked traitorous heart beating just the slightest bit too fast. I couldn't agree, wouldn't agree. Because I knew. He would, he would be disappointed. It was only a matter of time. Time and secrets.
Revelations always destroy relationships. And I have enough revelations to last a lifetime. I knew I would never be loved, I gave up on that child's dream of true love. I simply never thought I would have to convince someone that I was undeserving. And I'm finding that, if it's Lupin, I don't particularly want to. So I will keep my secrets and let him believe that he could love me.
But I refuse to hope.
☽◐⬤◑☾
Lupin
If I ever thought anything impossible it would be the ability to love her more than I already did. But with the revelation of who she was, Leviathan, I found my heart growing, stretching, to encase one more part of her. And I realized with every new thing of her I learned my heart would grow and stretch and break all the more.
I loved her. With everything I had I loved her. I didn't even know when it happened. Perhaps when she killed one of my top ranked wolves. Maybe it was when she cried over and understood my pain. Or maybe it was the first time she looked at me and smiled. Maybe it even goes farther back to that night on the street when our eyes locked and she walked away and something in me tore apart. But then maybe I simply loved her forever, had loved her all my life and was just waiting to meet her and see her again.
I knew I was screwed, knew I loved her too much. Knew I could only endure the heart break for so much longer. For I also knew that she did not love me. And how could she, Leviathan, Fable, a woman who saw so much of the beauty in the world. What was I but an ugly monster, deadly and cruel.
My wolf disagreed, reminding me of her own insecurities. The monster in her that we felt lurking under her skin. And her eyes, so beautiful with that gleam of red, like blood in the pool of black. She was a monster, too, I had know doubt. But it was different, it had to be. Because I would not accept that fear I always had lurking. That I was simply unlovable.
If she were the monster. If she were as bad as me, as terrifying. Then what would be the reason? Other than that I was unlovable.
I could not accept it. So I clung to the hope. The foolish love that I let fester and grow and wished that she would return it. But I knew it was impossible for I was ugly and blood stained and she was, as her brother said, truly glorious.
She would be my downfall I knew. And with every spreading crack in my heart my love for her grew and the pain intensified.
Again I asked myself how long I could cling to this hope. And when would I finally break.
But this time I knew, I wouldn't be able to break. I had embedded myself too deeply. She would have to break me. And how easy it would be.
For I knew, she could never love me.
☽◐⬤◑☾
Fable
We went to bed a little early. But the day was long and we were both tired. This time I had a little more push back, I wasn't drowsy from his gravelly voice and soothing presence like last time, so this time I put my foot down. I am nothing if not stubborn. I found that Lupin is the same. So while we are not sharing a bed again, he would not allow me to leave his apartment. He had a really strong argument and fair points, I yielded rather easily. I mean, even if mentally I decided I didn't want to sleep with him, my monster definitely disagreed. Raging the inefficacy of being so far away and the danger that could befall him. I would not be able to protect him.
Lupin's monster ranted the same in his head. I could see it in his eyes. He understood my reluctance to sleep with him and respected it, only asking that I not die or go too far. I could only agree.
So we parted ways, our monsters still not totally satisfied.
I remember all of that. Closing the door on his tense eyes and hopping in the shower. Changing into comfy pajamas and curling up in bed, the many many soft blankets piled up on the guest bed. Lupin had added more, apparently paying attention to my affiliation with the cold. And the cat, meowing and kneading the blankets before fitfully falling asleep. I remember all that, so I know this is a dream.
There's that, and the familiarity. I've had this dream before.
I'm in a cave. A wondrous magnificent cave that I suppose was born of my own imagination. It stretches hundreds of feet into the air and I can not see it's end. I stand on a jutting of rock, a little cliff, looking over the expanse of my imaginative cave. There is little space at my back and then the climbing wall of stone, stretching for the ceiling. And the ceiling, jagged and spiked, like thousands of chandeliers. Forest spreads across the cave floor, trees reaching up to touch the dangling spears of the ceiling, and water glistening and moving in great lakes and rivers. I always wondered how my mind figured that it was possible, for the cave has no exits, no entrance, and there is no sunlight. The cave would be pitch black if not for millions of shining lights dripping from the ceiling. I can only assume they are glow worms, I have never gone so high as to see them, but seeing as it is my own dream I can only assume I am right.
"It is not a dream, Fable." A gravely whispered voice intones from my right. "We have gone over this before." I smile as a flock of birds flutters out of the trees and disappears into the dark depths of the cave.
"And yet you always visit me while I sleep." I reply and he smiles, lips curling and jagged teeth glinting in the white light of the cave. My monster.
"I figure it to be less disconcerting to take your subconscious while it is already out of use." I chuckle at his huffing reply.
"I appreciate it, Cleon." His breath cuts in and his smile dissolves, teeth clenching. "Come now, don't be dramatic." I gently reprimand.
"You are a special child." He sighs. "No one else would dare name me." I roll my eyes and turn to look at him.
"I picked your name, Cleon, I think I have every right to call you it." He nods and smiles small.
"Of course." He rumbles, slightly amused. "I simply think the name is ill-suited." I glare at him. We've had this conversation multiple times.
"What ever do you mean?" I ask a false innocence ringing in my voice. He snorts, huffing a breath of hot air into my face, a blink against the force.
"You know exactly what I mean." I shrug.
"I think it's perfect."
"You truly think me to be glorious?" I smile at him and he huffs again. "I am anything but." I nod, shrugging my shoulders, and turn back to the view.
"But you deserve to be, you could be." He turns to look out at the forest and cave.
"Is that why you gave me such a home? Believing me deserving of such… beauty?"
"I believe you deserve so much more than this, Cleon." I sigh. "You are trapped in a cage, it just happens to be of my own making." I look back at him. "The least I can do is make it pretty." He does not turn to me, watching the foliage that I had made for him. A long moment passes in silence. I wait, watching him think. His shoulders roll back and his red eyes dart over to me.
"Why did you make me this ledge?" I smile and cock my head at him. He knows the answer, and I can tell he doesn't want my reason to be what he's thinking. He's right though. I sigh.
"Why do you stay up here?" I ask instead. "I gave you this beautiful cage…" I laugh darkly, turning back to the expanding forest. "Why not explore it, Cleon?" I try to hide it but even I can hear my sadness. He tenses at my side.
"I am all that they fear." He defends his voice stranded and falsely firm. I smile sadly looking down at my lap.
"You can be a creature of terror and still be afraid, Cleon." I can feel his eyes on me but do not look up from my lap.
"Is that why you reject him?" I look up sharply, glaring.
"I did not reject him." I protest and he shrugs.
"You did not accept him, Fable." I grit my teeth but have no rebuttal. A silence settles and we watch two birds dance in the sky, blue and red streaks of feathers. A yellow bird comes to join the airell dance and a show is performed for our somber audience.
"You like him, then?" I ask softly. He chuckles a rumbling sound.
"Of course. I am a construct of instinct and he is our Paired Mate." I release a breath, I don't know what it holds but something loosens in my heart.
"So it's true then. Lupin and I are a Mated Pair." He turns to me and smiles.
"Yes, but you knew that already, did you not?" I bite my lip and turn away from his imploring eyes.
"Does it really make a difference?" I ask, he sighs and shifts his body.
"No, I suppose it does not. You would love him either way."
"I do not love him, Cleon."
"You know the more I hear you deny it, the more I do not believe you." I make a face at him and he chuckles.
"I met him four days ago, I can not love him." Cleon glances over at me.
"So? Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight. If magic exists, why can't true love?" I scoff at him.
"I am not one destined for true love." He smiles at me flashing white fangs.
"Destiny would say otherwise." I roll my eyes at him and he laughs.
"He does not love the real me, Cleon, he only thinks he does."
"Then show him the real you, let him see it all." I look out into the dark shadows of my cave catching only glimpses of what lurks there.
"He would not like the real me."
"You mean he would not like me." I sit up sharply and lay a hand on his cold skin.
"You have never, and will never be the monster, Cleon." He freezes and slowly turns his head to look at me.
"Then what is?" I blink at the sad red eyes looking into mine. I turn back to watch the rolling shadows of my creation.
"I will always be what He made me. I can never not be that." I take a shuddering breath, memories flickering behind my eyes. The shadows seep closer, stretching and rejoicing in my terror. I turn away, closing my eyes, refusing their existence. "That is what Lupin would not like."
"You must have noticed it, Fable. He too is hiding his monster." I nod, smiling slightly, still turned away from the shadows.
"The wolf he shifted into would not explain his immense amount of power." I look over at him, my eyes wide. "It was staggering, Cleon, to be in that room, with his magic splayed." I shake my head laughing, remembering the high of being wrapped in his magic. He smiles small but full of glee and joy.
"I felt it. Do you know what he is?" I shake my head.
"No, but he has to be something else, something nobody is telling me. I mean, he's the Alpha…" I shake my head frustrated and elated at the same time. "There has to be something more." I mutter determination in my voice.
"Perhaps if you show him your monster he'll show you his." Cleon gently suggests. I glare at him, indignant. He shrugs in turn. "You make beautiful cages, Fable. But it's time you come out of yours." I'm about to protest and then stop at the affection in his eyes. I relax my shoulders and smile back at him. My monster, my other half, my equal. I open my mouth to respond but his eyes widen and his head snaps up staring at the ceiling, red eyes rolling back and forth seemingly searching for something. His head snaps back down, wide eyes meeting mine.
"Somethings coming." My eyes snap open, the trees and cave and water gone, replaced with the mundane ceiling of Lupin's guest room. I sit up and the cat meows disrupted. And then I hear it. It's dead silent.
☽◐⬤◑☾
The eeriness of a silent city-night sends shivers across my skin and ice down my spine. I'm instantly awake and out of bed, sword in hand. I throw open my door and race across the hall, basically throwing myself into Lupin's door. I move to his bed where he lies, still, very still. I jump up on the bed and turn him over. I inspect him, searching for injury or blood, Cleon still battering against my mind insisting there's a threat. In my panic I wake Lupin and he finds me frantically patting him down needing to be certain that he's okay. He grabs my shoulders and sits up looking me up and down making sure that I'm okay. But he understands soon enough that it is simple paranoia and panic. He holds me to him, assuring me that he is alright and that nothing bad has happened. His presence calms me easily and I take a deep breath pushing down my monster's panic. But I still listen, I know better than to disregard his instinct. I gently push away from Lupin and he drops his arms from my back. I meet his eyes and my calm solidifies fully.
"There is something coming." I tell him, my voice a rasped whisper. His eyes narrow.
"Death?" He asked, I listen to the silence again. A sound all banshees are used to, the ringing of death, but this is different. This sound, this death, has no essence of life, it's like it's-
"Undead." I turn back to meet his eyes. "Vampires, presumably, and a lot of them." He opens his mouth to say something but then stops. His head cocks to one side, listening. My hearing is too occupied by the silence of death, I hear nothing. Quite literally.
"What is-" I am cut off when he grabs my shoulders and throws me down on the bed. I bounce against the velvet comforter and turn as Lupin stands from the bed. He bends at his knees, arms open and ready, guarding me from the threat. And the threat….
I do not see it. Whatever it is that he heard. He steps forward growling low at the window. I move to help but he twists back snarling at me to stay put. It's sad really, that he thinks I'll listen.
I come around the otherside of the bed, climbing out and up and then walking to his side. He snorts a growl at me, this time less intense, I still ignore him.
I step to the window, ready to investigate whatever it is he heard, my sword pointed at the window. I approach and nothing happens. A quick minute goes by of nothing. So I unlatch the pane and start to heave it up.
Lupin growls low and rumbly. I ignore him, again. I get the window open an inch, sword poised. Lupin growls harsher as the window slides open another inch. The glass breaks and shatters empolding inwards. A vampire flings through the window, aiming at me. It's talons poised to swipe at my face, like a pissed off cat. A large strong arm wraps around my middle and pulls me away. Just quick enough. Only four little scratches mark my cheek.
I'm turned away, wrapped in Lupin's large body. He spins around me, leaving me at his back. I blink and turn to watch.
Lupin roars, an odd sound from a wolf, but it's gut wrenching. Even the vampire's dead white eyes seem to widen at the sight of Lupin. Right before it's head snaps back, at the force of Lupin's hand, and falls off. The headless body stands still for a moment and then collapses to the ground, thumping hallowly.
Lupin turns to look at me, eyes shining silver. I hold my breath and stare. The scene is quite beautiful to the artist in me. But the moment snaps and I move to him, eyes running up and down his body. I don't see any blood.
"Are you ok?" I ask. He looks down at the body by his feet and meets my eyes. I see the worry and apprehension in his face. My shoulders drop as I realize he's just fine. I take a moment to reel from my relief and then smile at him, answering his questioning eyes. I place a hand on his cheek and force him to meet my eyes. He watches the answer in my eyes and then nods. Of course I do not judge him for this death. I am not some innocent flower. I know death and I am trained in killing. I silently remind him of this. He presses his hand to mine, keeping it against his face.
"I'm sorry." He says but I shake my head.
"It's fine. I get it." I shrug. "I'm small and blonde. Everyone thinks I'm incapable." He shakes his head, chuckling softly.
"I don't think that, it's just that sometimes I forget."
"Forget what?" He rolls his eyes, a small smile across his lips.
"The moment when you gutted my third and turned his insides into a slushie." I laugh, my hand falling away from his cheek. Quickly the small moment turns serious again. We both turn to the window and Lupin steps forward, avoiding the shattered glass on the floor. I stay back, decidedly against getting glass shards in my feet.
"Are there more?" Lupin asks, peering at the broken window.
"Yes." I nod. "But Undead are different then the dead. We can sense them but it's…" I scrunch up my face and shrug. Lupin glances back at me, brow quirked. I sigh. "All I'm hearing is a whole lot of dead silence. It's unnatural and I can't make sense of it." I take a bigger breath, letting it go. "My brother could make it out." I mutter, mostly to myself, but Lupin hears.
"Your brother?" He asks. I shake my head.
"Other brother." I roll my shoulders. "Salem is the strongest banshee to exist." I coked my head, relenting. "At least, since the Keeners went into retirement." We hear a crash from below us. I look to Lupin knowing he has the better sense of hearing. And so I watch Lupin's eyes change, darkening in shadow, and my gut drops.
"They're down stairs." He grumbles, voice deep and full wolf, eyes sparking with his monster's rage. I can feel my eyes changing too, in tune with his anger.
"No." A soft slightly broken voice announces. We both turn to find Tristan standing in the doorway. He's clothes are tattered and splattered with blood, not his own. His eyes meet mine and then turn to Lupin, his Alpha. "They're everywhere."