Baiken followed him out "So if I looked beautiful!? Why tell me I'm a thief!?"
"Why did you want to look that beautiful for me in the first place!?" He asked standing aside so she could come out and he locked the door.
"Because you told me I must leave my old life behind!"
"Ok, then congratulations, you did it" he said marching down the hall, Baiken's shorter legs almost now in a trot as she had to keep up with his long strides.
"Did I? Tell me what made you think that!? You said you'll still go ask that woman if I'm telling the truth?"
He remained quiet.
"What about me in that dress convinced you!?"
"The way you closed your scar with your one hand!"
She didn't even realize he noticed that and frowned "So? Its an ugly scar"
He descended the steps quickly and headed to the bar "It's what makes you, scars are scars, they tell a story, the way you hid that with your hand told me your past bothered you"
He was watching her closely, she noticed it now.
"A beer. And something soft for the lady" Zander told the barman and scanned the room, the reception man wasn't there yet.
"What soft?" She asked.
"You ever had alcohol before?"
"No?"
"Then something soft will do"
The barman placed a beer down and to Baiken he pushed a cider, Zander downed the beer quick.
"Give me two more" he said holding the empty to him.
Baiken meanwhile watched how he drank away that beer, then took a deep drink from hers but winced "What is this?"
"Its a peach cider, take it easy with that ok? Its not a slush puppy" Zander said taking the two new beers and heading over to a table.
"Ok, so? You heard what I said about a proper man right?" She said still eyeballing the bottle in her hand.
"Yes, and I'm not that"
"Its rather frustrating"
"Why?"
"I've been with two men in my life, both fucked me up, then you come along, respect me, treat me nice, tell me you don't want sex, and to keep my clothes on, and you are not the right man for me?"
"Of course! There are many good men out there"
"What's wrong with you then? In case you haven't realised I struggle to find someone that can understand me?"
"Yes, because we've been together for a while now, I had time to get to understand you, all you need to do is go look for someone and do the same, some men are patient"
"And you're not?"
"Baiken!? Why are you hammering on this?"
"Because I'm afraid I won't find someone like you again"
He looked at her, slowly drinking from his bottle.
"I, want respect, this is the first time I didn't have to enforce it with a blade"
"We are friends right?" He said.
"Yes?"
"Then what more do you want?"
She managed a smile "I guess, I can't force more right?"
"There's no need to force anything"
She drank more of her cider "I get a feeling you're not telling me everything"
"Why is that?"
"Why would you protest against it so hard? Is your past that disturbing that you're not willing to give me a chance?"
He finished his beer "You're stubborn you know that?"
"Oh I'm the stubborn one? The way you say that tells me you do still have secrets?"
"You know more about me than I know of you currently Baiken" he held fingers up to count "Your bad shit with Yamamoto..." He held that one finger up, then shrugged "That's it, I saw your struggles with the Yakuza, know of Tachibana, but you know my entire life story, I would like to know why you are so casual about just having sex with someone? You barely knew me yet you ask me if I want a quick session in the back of a plane?"
She sat back, her mouth felt a little dry because if their quarrel earlier so she first took a long drink "Fine, I'll make it clear to you then"
Baiken had to choose her words carefully now, she sometimes got lost in the stories she told of her past, she wanted to tell Zander the story she told Diana, but had to hold back at the end, Diana will not be impressed when she accidentally spills that intimate moment between them.
She set off and told it as she told Diana, the early morning sun, to the making peace with pain, then her experience with sex and pain on the age of fourteen, and how sex became her escape.
Zander sat watching her through the whole story, his face never changed, he didn't even take another sip of his beer.
She even told him the truth about her 'Time of the month' and how Yamamoto grinded her gut with a wooden sword constantly during that time.
That story basically had her entire past, she did add how her mother taught her to read and write in both Japanese and English, but not well, only minimal.
"And there you have it, my entire life, you know the rest..." She said drinking the last of her drink.
Zander brushed his lips and downed his second beer.
"Nothing? You have nothing to say?"
"Give me a moment I'm still mauling over it" Zander said, he tried his best to hide his anger, if Yamamoto was here in this room now, Zander would with the gun he had tucked in the back of his pants gunned the man down until the clip ran dry.
He sat with a new outlook on her, he can hurt her, badly, not physically, emotionally, that's why he doesn't want to be with her, he did hide most of his past from her, he gave her the truth but in fragments.
Then the worry set in on him, he didn't want her to relive that, he didn't want her to experience it again, and all of a sudden every other man on this planet became an asshole to him, he trusted not one of them with her because no one would ever treat her as she deserved to be treated, especially after that hell she came out of.
His heart told him she will be happy with Diana and that's final, he can't, he can't hurt her again, it would push him to suicide.
"Zander?" She asked seeing him starting to scratch the label off the bottle.
"I, wish I could make you happy" he said and her face changed saddened.
"What?"
"Let me tell you the full truth about my experience with a woman..." He held his hand to the barman, two fingers, before Zander continued he first waited for the new beer and cider, then looked at her with the bottle to his mouth.
"You made piece with one type of pain, and for that I am in awe over you, you are amazing Baiken, but, there are pain out there you have yet to experience, and its that pain that's telling me, not to push further than friendship with you, after all you experienced, I don't want it to be me who caused you that pain you haven't yet felt"