I Was a Tough Lady Killer Mobster, But Now I am a Klutzy Maid Girl, That Will Take Down a Demon Lord.
Chapter 4 - Boss Slime
Azulle slept restlessly in her bed. With the somewhat reunion with the goddess Ori, she found it hard to not try and make up for the lost time. It was hard for her to figure out what it all meant and even harder for her to get her mother to understand the strange tablet her daughter now possessed. But while to others of this world it looked out of place for the reborn body of Hideo Eito, she was all too familiar with the device's original uses and now with at least a phone connection to the goddess, Ori. Azulle felt a little less out of place. Still, there is much she didn't know so she took to reading the other gift of the goddess. A book designed to help her to better understand how this world worked.... she just had to get over the title. "The Noobs Guide to Isekai Worlds." Why does this title piss me off so damn much? Still, I guess I can't complain Ori at least does seem to come through with the most amazing things... even if the names suck." Azulle looks at the phone. "Yeah, I definitely need a better name for you..."
Suddenly a pillow hits Azulle straight on in her face. "Azulle shut up. As this world's great hero I need my beauty sleep or else how else will I have all my energy to be worshipped." Says a groggy, Gil.
"Yes my lord..." groans Azulle not wanting to deal with any late-night perversions her half-brother would devise to punish her again. Instead, she gets up and starts to walk away.
"And where are you going at this hour my servant!" Gil cries out reaching for Azulle to return his pillow.
"To the bathroom, don't follow me." She claims, dropping the pillow on Gil's head.
"How dare you abandon me!" Gil shouts out.
"I am not abandoning you I am peeing! Scaredy jerk!" Azulle says shutting the door behind her. She hears more shouting but its muffled cries go beyond her cares and she moves down the hall to the bathroom. On the way, she fiddles with the digital device and the screen comes up with the phrase please identify the user. "Identify user, huh? Guess Ori, didn't program it with my information. Let's see..." Azulle types in the name Hideo Eito but an error message appears. "Sigh. I should have guessed. I am far from being the Smiling Devil again, at least till I take down Isea! Guess its Azulle Darkholt." She enters in her name and the screen lights up that it's gathering information.
"Greetings, Azulle Darholt. I am your Phenomenal Extra-dimensional Social Informational Service or ..." states the device but Azulle cuts it off.
"Don't you say it! You are a P-phone got it! Not what was previously designated got it!"
"So you wish to designate your P.E.N.I.S. as P-phone? Is that correct?"
"Yes now quit going by that old title!" Azulle commands.
"Very well. This unit is now nicknamed P-phone! Would you like to observe your current stats and information?" The device asks.
"Stats and info? I know I read about that in the book already." She searches around but can't find the book. "Gah! I know I had it when I left the room so I must have dropped it somewhere while I was walking. But if anyone finds it they will ..." suddenly Azulle is flattened by the body of Kawa falling on her from above.
"Hey Zel! What are you doing talking to yourself in the hallway? Is Gil trying to sleep in your bed again?" Kawa stands there on top of Azulle as she struggles to get out from under the strange being Kawa.
"I was going to the bathroom! But then I lost something on the way." Azulle states in a panic.
"Hmm you lost your shit on the way to shit, I see I see!" Kawa nods in the knowledge of making a point.
"You don't have to be so crass about it Kawa!" Azulle shrieks.
"Hmm okay well I was just out to get my training in my skills but I guess a classless klutz like you just needed some alone time."
"Wait class ... skills?"
"I am sure I told you. I am a ninja based on my tablet." Kawa holds up a chain with a stone on it that info magically moves about. "My skills are in stealth, and deception... well mainly deception." Kawa pulls off its face to reveal a scary wolf monster underneath. "I just love disguises. You can be anyone or thing you want! The whole idea gives me a thrill!"
"Hehehe! I guess you would have to like the path chosen for you. So is that your real face Kawa?" Azulle asks.
"Not at all!" Kawa responds pulling the head off again this time of a beautiful white-haired young girl. "No one knows, my face, my sex, even my race. And that's the way I like it. Kawa is Kawa, and that is the best I can be. But I aim to be the greatest master of disguise this world has ever seen. This is why I have to train at night, to build up my skills. Though I guess I could get better faster fighting monsters..."
"But you're cursed to have monsters attracted to you." Azulle states proudly knowing why Kawa is stuck in the castle and city surrounding it.
"Every time I try to leave this dump I keep running into swarms or armies it's insane! None of my disguises seem to fully through them off ether. The castle is the furthest place from any monsters so it's the safest place for me!" Kawa cries. "Oh well I have to get back to my training...and you to the bathroom I guess. See you at breakfast Zel!" Kawa leaps out a window and Azulle runs to try and see where the strange ninja went to but finds that the being has already vanished into the night.
"I guess he really is a ninja."
"Um Zel, you mind helping me a bit." Whimpers Kawa, from the window. Azulle looks straight down and sees Kawa's foot is stuck on the ledge below.
"Shouldn't a ninja be better at leaping out of windows?" Azulle asks.
"Yeah well, I am still a novice okay! I spent all my starting skills on disguises and now I train just to be good at any of the other abilities." Whines Kawa as Azulle leans out to push his foot free, but Azulle's own misfortune hits and she ends up falling out the window as she knocks Kawa free and the two go crashing down into the bushes with Kawa falling on top of Azulle again.
"Ouchie! Kawa you idiot! Why did you have to keep falling on me?"
"Sorry Zel. Guess you did help me in your unique way." Suddenly the small device of Azulle's P-phone lands on Kawa's head and he is puzzled. "Huh, what a strange rock... or maybe a flat egg..."
Azulle quickly is shocked in the face and grabs the P-phone from him. "It's mine... it's ... it's my tablet." She shyly replies.
"Wait, you have a tablet? Since when? Tablets aren't given to children your age. Are you sure it's yours!" Kawa asks in a rapid session.
"I just got it... um, it must have been lost all this time in mom's room. I found it when I was cleaning earlier in there. But it's mine I will show you." Azulle presses the screen and the P-phone comes to life. "Phone please identify the owner."
"This unit called P-phone is owned by Azulle Darkholt." The phone states.
"Uh okay what is a phone I mean it doesn't look like any other tablet I have seen and it talks too."
"Well it's a new kind and it does other things too."
"Like what? Can it peel the kitchen's supply of tubruishes! Cause I hate doing that!"
"Well it can uh... make calls... and uh... hey phone what can you do?" Azulle asks as she herself seemed to miss out on a user's manual for the p-phone.
"This unit, can make calls to allies, keep track of skills and abilities for the users designated class, identify stats on targets with referenced materials, drawing tools for map-making, a library of information on survival/classes/ skills/ wildlife, and more, as well as the ability to play any number of musical notes you wish. Other apps are also available."
Azulle shocked screams in her own head "this thing really is a smartphone!"
"Uhhh, none of that really made any sense." Kawa says rubbing their eyes. "But I guess it is your tablet then... so what is your class!"
Azulle looks puzzled "um I don't know I haven't asked it yet... hey phone what is my class. I mean I am sure it bound to be something cool."
"Your class Ms. Darkholt, is Maid Girl!" The device coldly states as Azulle's hopes and dreams are dashed and Kawa is rolling around laughing.
"I'm still a freaking maid!" Azulle groans.
Kawa still laughing tries to stop and speak. "That's certainly yours, Zel!" Choking a bit on their words.
"Um Kawa, can you um leave me now?" Azulle says in a whimper.
"Uh sure, but why?" Kawa asks then notices her squirming. "So that story of having to go to the bathroom?"
"Wasn't a lie... and now I am stuck outside. I will just go in the bushes so go away! It's embarrassing to have someone around when a girl needs to pee!" Azulle shouts.
"Please I know what is in your pants. I have fourteen of them on me now." Kawa laughs.
"Not funny and go before you alert the guards to make this worse!"
"Fine, fine, I am going." Kawa leaves her dashing into the shadows and leaving Azulle to herself... but not long enough before the guard Jenson coughing as Azulle jerks up.
"Ms. Darkholt, this is not very ladylike for you to be acting this way!" Azulle's shocked face turns to beat red as the guard she and Kawa impersonated the other day looks down at her sternly. "Given its thanks to your friend and you have night duty."
"Guard sir please I am sorry and I am sure Kawa didn't mean anything by dosing your drink to put you asleep, please don't tell the queen or Mrs. Marril." Azulle begs.
"Don't worry I won't speak of this to the queen... but as of Mrs. Marril." The guard points to Lady Marril standing across the way stern in her face at the site of Azulle stepping out of the bushes.
"I am sorry lady Marril!" Shouts Azulle.
"Well if you don't keep it down girl the whole castle will know what you have done. Thank you, Jenson, I will put in a good word for your return to day shift."
"Thank you, lady Marril!" Jenson replies and returns to walking the grounds.
"As for you, young lady, since you now have a tablet you will be expected to start training tomorrow... after you serve the young masters breakfast."
"What you heard my conversation with Kawa! But how long..."
"My dear I saw when you fell out the window, you certainly are a clumsy sort. Perhaps you should keep that in mind next time you try heroics, Hmm." Azulle can't help but swear to see a small smile crack Marril's mouth. "While your brother has his magic lessons you will come with me for your morning training understand.
"Yes, lady Marril." Azulle says a bit upset but understanding.
"Now come let us clean you up and get you back to bed young lady." Marril states walking her young ward back into the castle.
Later Azulle starts to try and silently walk into her room when she discovers the young prince is up reading a book. This in itself was odd to Azulle as she never knew Gil to be one for his lessons so the idea that he would so studiously read to not notice her walk into the room surprised her. That is until she noticed the book was none other than the one that she had lost earlier in her jaunt.
"So it's best to start training against weak monsters like slimes." Gil mumbles to himself.
"Um, Gil ... sir..."
Gil finally notices Azulle. "Where have you been... did you fall in."
Azulle chuckles trying to stay on her brother's good side. "Kind of, still um, where did you find my book?"
"You dropped it on me you dolt. Still, if you had such a gift as this for me you should have presented it better. But I will forgive you. Just make sure you pack all the items we will need for tomorrow." Gil smirks
"Of course... eh... for what?" Azulle stands puzzled.
"Why for my first monster quest. You will accompany me of course."
"Uh and when ..."
"First thing after breakfast, you idiot!" Gil shouts at her. "I must start my training as a hero... and I guess you could at least distract the slimes for me."
"Slimes, I don't even know where such a creature can be found plus I have training as well as..."
"Forget it! I have a duty and it comes first or have you forgotten that I am destined to become the great hero to take down the great Demon Lord, Vin-sak-rul!" The young Gil proudly announces. "This is an order from your master you will ready our things and journey with me understand."
Azulle hangs her head in shame knowing that she will surely get in trouble either way but order from Gil holds a higher authority than one from Marril, and while her mom did just stick her up on underwear she didn't want to have them taken as punishment ether. Perhaps Marril would understand and even could direct her to where the two could even find slimes nearby. But all would have to wait like the night's adventure has already worn her body down and it's not long before she is asleep despite Gil going on his list of items the two would need.
Azulle woke to the light of day already slipping in her eyes. She knows this normally is a bad sign as she is to report to the kitchen for her morning duties. In a panic she quickly throws her clothes on and with it her p-phone falls out reminding her of the order she was given and she groans picking up the phone. When she leaves her brother is still strongly asleep giving her hope that he will sleep past the time for their impromptu quest. With sleep still in her eyes, she makes her way to the kitchen.
"Well someone is finally awake." Reprimanded, Marril. "Just because you have a tablet now does not mean you can shirk your duties, surely the young lord is waiting for his morning breakfast."
"He is asleep. I am sorry though Lady Marril." Azulle groans out.
"You will when we start your morning training..."
"I am sorry, I can't. Gil ordered me to do something else. I need to gather stuff for our journey." Azulle yawning grabs a bag and starts to fill it with food but is halted when a broom stands between her and the counter.
"So he ordered you to go somewhere. Then leave the food prep to myself and the cook. But how far are you going." Marril says pushing her young ward with a broom.
"He wants to go fight slimes." Azulle states and Marril's eyes widen.
"Very well then we will pack a lunch for you two. And I guess it would be fitting I planned to take you to that place anyway."
"You know where slimes are?" Azulle querying Marril's statement.
"The old bathing house? Your training is to clean that place and to get it working again. But as it's been many years since surely slimes have moved in seeking the filth and trash that people have been dumping there for years. Plus the guards have had to save Kawa more than once from swarms of slimes there before. I will have a guard accompany you ..." Marril explains but is interrupted by Azulle.
"Gil wants it to be just myself and him to go."
"Marril very well I will have them patrol while you two go in. But for a newly classed maid and the young lord, you must make sure to defend him well. Here take this with you." Marril hands Azulle the broom.
"A broom? I know I don't know anything about slimes... but wouldn't a sword or any weapon be better against them?" Azulle stands puzzled.
"You will see. Let Gil use his blade. But you are a maid and a broom is more than a fitting weapon for you. Plus you will need it to start cleaning afterward anyways. Now go take both of your breakfasts and prepare the young lord's armor and weapons."
"Yes lady, Marril!" Replies Azulle.
The scenes move on to later that morning with Azulle and Gil before the decaying stone ruins of the old bathhouse. A large muscular-looking woman with pointed ears and a tail is wagging her tail happily as the two approach.
"So this wreck of place is where we will find slimes!" Gil says with his face barely visible over his oversized armor.
"It darns sure is my young master." Replies the wolf woman. "Now lady Marril told me to not worry bout you two little things in there but if you need my help all you gotta do is whistle and I will come running to you cute little adventures."
"Mother allowed you to step away from your duties captain Jenni?" Gil asks surprised.
"Well my sweet little prisoners are all sleepy after the big breakfast I got them, and as I am the only one to hold the keys to this place Lady Marril wanted me to keep an eye on you precious little things. Wouldn't cha know!" The wolf woman Jenni says rubbing her face on Azulle's uncomfortably. She then moves towards Gil but he starts backing away so she returns to rubbing her head on Azulle. As the door creaks open. "Have fun slaying you two!"
Gil proudly pushes past Jenni and Azulle and moves on in the building only to suddenly scream how it stinks inside. Azulle walks in and cringes at the sight of mounds of garbage, decaying remains from the castle gardens maintenance, and several pieces of broken tools, weapons, and decorations. "Bathhouse this is more like the castle dump." Gil says choking on the stench in the air.
"Marril wants me to clean all this!" Azulle thinks. She looks over the mound of refuge and doesn't see anything that even looks like what she can think of as a slime.
"Where are all these slimes? You told me that Marril said there are slimes in here!" Gil shouts at his young servant.
"This is just the front area. Maybe they are further in!" Azulle snaps back.
"There better be." Gil pouts but moves on into one of the semi-cleared doorways as Azulle looks up and reads.
"Women's, Um Gil shouldn't you ..."
"I am a lord there is nowhere I can't enter in my domain!" Gil snakily replies giving Azulle a shiver down her spine at the thought of her in a bath and Gil forcing his way in.
The two slide about the uneven ground as they move what looks to be a large changing room. As they move glints of movement catch Azulle's gaze but Gil's steadfast push forward gets her to have to move on without investigating it.
The two push on to the actual baths part of the girl's side Gil laughing. "This is nothing more than a dump. At worse, there is nothing more here than..." his words are stopped as the pile of garbage shifts and moves. "What was that?"
"Be careful Gil!" Azulle shouts as a collection of multiple colors of slimes move out of the garbage. But one larger red one leaps out at Gil.
"Please these are weaklings and I am a hero!" Gil shouts swinging his sword almost loading his balance but still cutting deep in the slime... which in-turns blasts fire out the cut back at Gil.
"What just happened? He cut it but it looks like it gave back damage in full with ... Huh?" Azulle looks down and sees a few blue and green slimes latching on her eating away at her clothes. And she swears she sees some of them blushing as they do so. She slaps one away and it hits the wall and splats into a puddle. "It didn't shoot fire?"
"A high count of monsters has been detected. Assessing information on the monsters in the surrounding area!" Calls out the voice from Azulle's pocket.
"My p-phone?" Azulle is surprised. While Gil strikes another slashing a small yellow in half this time unleashing a burst of electricity upon him. "Gil!"
"Damn it why do these freaks keep striking back at me. Don't they know they need to die!" Shouts Gil slicing another all be it smaller red that again bursts out in flames at Gil.
"Wait why do the ones that Gil cuts strike back but the ones I hit..." Azulle puzzles slapping three more off her.
"Monster identification complete! Slimes, weak level creatures with simple-minded goals of eating, and procreating. Each slime color relates to both the food source the slime devours and the elemental properties it possesses. The larger the slime the greater power it has consumed. Slimes will release their pent-up energy as a defense against slashing and piercing weapons." The p-phone explains.
"That is it, Gil stop using your sword!" Shouts Azulle.
"Are you insane? These are monsters they must be defeated by a hero. And I am a hero!" Gil slashes a green slime and his armor begins to hiss and eat away! "Damn it do your job you worthless maid and protect me!"
Azulle grabs a stronghold on her broom and swipes half a dozen slimes at once into the wall where they all splat into puddles. "This broom, Marril must have known it would be a better weapon against these guys. Fine, then I will..." Azulle begins to run towards Gil thrusting her way with the broom but trips and rolls into her brother crashing the two of them into the large bath. The p-phone falls out and a slime touches it sparking.
"You stupid klutz! This is how you protect your master!" Shouts at Azulle.
"Unknown language detected, translating..." the phone states as the slime that touched it cries out.
"Pluu pluu!" A small white slime says.
"Ouch, that damn thing hurt! ...it says." Denotes the phone.
A small black slime with angry eyes glares and states "pluu pluu pu pu pluu plu pu pluu!"
"These rotten creatures invaded our territory. We have to make them regret coming here anaki! ... it says." The phone states in a monotone voice destroying the emotions behind the slimes words.
"Anaki?" Azulle questions.
Gil gets on his feet but kicks Azulle back down "Stupid girl focus on the battle and do your damn job."
"Pluuuu pluu pu pluuu pluu pu pluu!" The black slime says.
"They can't even work together unlike our family. See how that one treats the other! It says" Again Azulle tries to stand but is puzzled at the phone's words.
"Family. Anaki. A collection of miss-matched slimes protecting their territory... this isn't a swarm..." Azulle shakily stands swatting more slimes that move in.
"Pu pluu puu pluuuu plu!" The white slime shouts.
"The red one is dangerous we should fall back and let the boss handle it. ... it says." Denotes the phone.
"Boss so there is a dungeon boss here just like the book said. A boss of the slimes!" The ground suddenly bursts upward and both Gil and Azulle slide to the sides as a giant Blue slime with a scar across its eye the garbage hanging on him like a coat and a large broken pipe held in its face looking like the giant slime has a long smoking pipe.
"That look there is no doubt about it... this isn't just a boss of monsters. But these slimes ... they are just like it... like how it was... they are a yakuza family, and that's the mob boss!"