***The main building of the Academy, the 18th hour of Friday, first week of June…***
As it was the weekend after the start of classes, Kuro wanted to make sure that everything was in order before leaving the school for two days. Well, there was a small squad of paladins assigned for securing the campus premises. However, their duties were purely patrolling the school grounds; arranging classrooms were not part of their responsibilities.
"…"
Although he officially opened the school year five days ago, Kuro had instructed his faculty and non-teaching staff to teach their students to learn cleaning their own rooms before leaving. He specifically stated that it was the children—not their accompanying servants—who would sweep the floors, erase the boards, arrange the chairs, and take out the trash. Kuro meant for them to become responsible adults, and he believed he communicated it well to his co-workers.
The first couple of days were challenging, for most of the noble kids wouldn't even touch an eraser, and their equally-entitled teachers sympathized with their plight. However, Maddie was quick to intervene, and soon, most of the students were following the school policies.
"…"
But still, there were those who seemed to not understand the purpose behind such directives, or simply believed that because there was an army of non-teaching staff (janitors) working there, it was the school's responsibility to clean after the mess made by the students.
This is where Kuro comes in.
Aside from checking the cleanliness of the classrooms, he would also arrange and sweep what needs to be swept. The janitors had already went around earlier, just after the last student left. However, Kuro—in his full 'teacher mode'—found out that they only cleaned what was visible. It was not thorough.
"…"
Of course, he was pissed. He already planned to talk to the faculty and the non-teaching staff about it, once the classes resume on Monday. But then, he also realized that, as of now, he couldn't do much because everyone had already vacated the school premises (save for the paladin security). So instead of whining, he immediately got to work on the messy rooms. By then, he was on his fifth classroom when his vision suddenly went dark.
"!!!"
"Guess who?"
"Lily, I know your voice," he answered.
Turning around, Kuro saw the Head Maid, along with Maddie and Eris.
"We're wondering why you haven't come back in the palatial gardens," his young maidservant explained. "So when we learned that you're still here, Her Holiness teleported us, along with some snacks."
"Oh, thanks!" Kuro got the basket from Eris and placed it on a nearby desk. "Well, I still got a couple more rooms to clean and arrange after this, so I guess we can eat those later? Or you can go ahead of me."
"Are you joking, Mister?" Lily chuckled. "We'll help you as well!"
"Nah. You're already tired," Kuro replied. "Take a rest now."
"We can't do that, milord—I mean, K-Kuro!" Eris was quick to counter him. "At least, let us help with something. This is why we came here anyway, isn't that right, Your Holiness?"
Maddie, who was leisurely floating around, answered, "H-Ha? Help? Of course, I'll help. I'll incinerate those brats for pushing their responsibilities on my poor Kuro."
"I'm not sure if that's really helping…" Kuro could only scratch his head.
"Yes, obviously, it's not!" Lily put a broom on Maddie's hand. "You're helping us sweep the floors, Your Kind Holiness! And no incinerating anyone as per Kuro's request."
"Eh? So you'll incinerate our students if I didn't refuse?" he jested.
"Is there anything wrong in teaching some ignoble brats some sense of responsibility?" Eris brought out her wand and lit a small flame at its top end. Her eyes looked like that of a corpse; it creeped Kuro a little.
"Ahahahaha!" it was Lily, trying to diffuse the tension. "Kuro, don't mind them! A simple disembowelment of someone worst in their class would instill discipline on them!" The Head Maid of the Holy Palatial Gardens brandished a kitchen knife she pulled from somewhere, as her eyes turned crimson red.
"Guys, calm down," Kuro decided to intervene before the murderous talk got out of hand, "Don't worry much about me. I've done this before in my old world, see? Besides, it's really hard to instill proper manners on someone who lived a shitty brat's life ever since they were born. As their teachers, it's our job to make them realize they're behaving like assholes, and guide them properly to the right path."
"Kuro…" it was Maddie, "…I have mixed feelings on that statement of yours. Decide whether or not you would cuss! You're blurring the line between good and bad words, see?"
"So says the closet pervert," Eris quipped.
"Lady Braunhauer," Maddie said, all in her dignified form, "A pervert I may be, it's Kuro's p***s I only want to see."
"What the fuck?" Lily blurted out, nearly falling on the floor. Her face was bright red.
Eris and Kuro were also shocked, but it's not really that offensive provided they're the only ones around. The young maidservant even went as far as forcefully clapping her hands to mock the Human Saint.
"What a holy pervert," she commented.
"By the way, I got more perverted poems in store. Want to hear all of them?" Maddie offered.
"Awawawawa!!!" Lily's brain short-circuited; she was panicking.
Kuro could only laugh at them while he continued working. Well, he eventually finished his chores without the three girls actually lending a hand to him. But he did it in a breeze; he enjoyed their company.
----------
And so, before going home, the four of them decided to stay a little longer to eat the snacks the girls brought along for Kuro. They chose the school rooftop as their place for their little picnic, as not only because the view was pleasant from up there, the bright, azure skies of Chersea also offered a magnificent sight for cloud watching.
"Kuro," Lily stopped him as he reached for the basket. "No, let me do the serving. You will take a rest."
"Oh, alright! Thank you, Lily!"
"Over here, Kuro!" Eris called out and waved at him, "Please, rest your head here." She was showing her lap.
"Oi, little girl," Maddie countered her. "You think your skinny legs would make a comfortable lap pillow? Compare mine to yours; you'll learn the meaning of 'standards'."
"Who are you calling 'little girl'?" the young maidservant shot back, "I've already grown, see? At least, in some places! I'm just right, not like some perverted holy cows out there."
"H-Holy cow?" Lily was shocked at the exchange of insults.
"I can't help it," Maddie proudly puffed out her chest, "the heavens blessed me with great looks, and a sinful figure."
"What? The heavens are now distributing 'sin'?" Eris was sarcastic. "Isn't that stupid?"
Meanwhile, while they traded banters, Kuro just laughed while listening to them. He sat on a nearby bench, looking upwards at the skies, instead of using Eris or Maddie's lap pillows.
"…"
When they noticed him enjoying himself, the three girls fell silent and communicated through gestures. Lily brought out a bottle of wine—the strongest alcohol she could buy, while Eris fished a box of suspicious-looking pills from her pocket. They gave those to Maddie, who was holding a potion of red liquid. The Human Saint then grabbed a wine glass, poured the alcohol, dropped several tablets on it, and halved the potion she had, before mixing it together with a spoon.
Seeing what she just did, Lily became hesitant, "Err…are you sure it's fine? Don't you think it's too much, even for Kuro?"
"It's Kuro we're talking about here," Maddie whispered. "Let's see how sober he is after he drinks this concoction we made. Ahem, for future reference, of course!"
"I'm ready to take notes, Your Holiness," Eris declared. "Two of those tablets is enough to make an adult act like a drunk. I don't think Kuro would be safe this time…"
"The potion is to make him horny," the saint added.
"Maddie, don't you have anything in your mind except to make Kuro a pervert?" Lily admonished her.
"Lusting after the one you love is normal, Lily!"
"Ah, spoken like a true closet pervert, Your Holiness."
"Thank you for the compliment, Eris. Now take the other glasses and get your shares, so he won't suspect a thing."
"Err…I'll just grab some grape juice," Eris declared. "Kuro will get mad if he learns I drank alcohol."
"Suit yourself, little kid," Maddie snickered.
"You're such a bad influence, Maddie, you know that?" Lily told her.
----------
Once they got their plans ready, the three girls launched their 'research' on Kuro. He was able to down two full glasses, laced with innumerable amounts of pills from Eris, and an entire bottle of potion from Maddie. She and Lily were greatly impressed, while it horrified Eris because she knew that those pills were 'military'-grade stuff, used by the mercenaries of the House of Braunhauer to drug their enemies.
"Lily, get me one more glasshhhh…" Maddie 'whispered' to her friend, but she actually said that aloud.
"Maddie, you're already drunk," Lily told her. "Your face is completely red."
"But Kuro'sh still up!"
"Hm? What about me?" Kuro's attention turned to them.
"Huh? How come you're still fine? That's your third glass!" Lily was utterly shocked.
"Eh? Did you put something in my drink?"
Lily shook her head. "Of course not! I won't tell you we put some weird pills in there, mixed with some horny potion to get you drunk! It's our secret, see?"
"Ayt, Lily," he snickered. "I'll keep that secret well. But you really need to stop drinking now, okay? Both you and Maddie are already drunk."
"I'm not drunk! I can speak straight!"
"Yes, and you're even standing straight, like a pillar or a statue."
"Ahehehehe…"
"Come now, give me your glass."
The drunk Head Maid of the Holy Palatial Gardens handed her wine glass to Kuro, then she told him, "Kiss me first!"
"Alright," he did just as Lily demanded, though he planted his kiss on her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Lily!"
"Yes, sweet dreams, too…" then the prim and proper Head Maid of the Holy Palatial Gardens went to her slumber standing. Kuro carefully made her sleep lying down, with the help of Eris.
"…"
Now, since they were the only ones in their right minds, Kuro then turned to his young maidservant, "You're not drinking alcohol, right?"
Eris, who was sheepishly seeping on her drink, went pale, "N-No…this is grape juice…" Though with little alcohol, as Maddie gave her a few drops after teasing her.
"Good."
"…"
"Eris…"
"K-Kuro?"
"Who planned on spiking my drink?"
"All of us."
"Why?"
"We want to conduct some research."
"About?"
"How far can you go being sober."
"And my grade?"
"You pass. That's a military-grade pill for drugging our family's enemies, mixed with the strongest wine Lady Lily could buy, and with Her Holiness' potions, too."
"Wow."
"It's horrifying to witness your sobriety. It's as if you're not human, milord—I mean, Kuro."
"Heh, I'm not really human…"
"Eh?"
"I'm a unicorn!" Kuro said that with a straight face, while pretending that a finger he placed on his forehead was a horn. After that, he made horse noises and started galloping around. Eris was utterly amazed by what she's witnessing.
"Milord, if only I can make a painting of you acting like that, I will do it! Alas, I am but a historian…this precious moment will forever be engraved in my memories!"
But yes, though Eris greatly appreciated watching the drunk Kuro's stupid antics, soon she was forced to put him to sleep. The patrolling paladins came to their spot, and nearly saw one of Chersea's great heroes in his peak idiocy.
"…"
However, the young maidservant had another problem: how to transport three dead drunks back to the Holy Palatial Gardens.