Meliora Sydelle has always lived two lives.
The Princess of Merika, a beacon of hope to not only her people but those all across Zawira.
And one of the seven founding members of the Fading Dawn.
The rebel group she had helped bring to life; to destroy the royal families of all eight states that made up her home country of Zawira.
~~~
I walked into the Throne Room with my head held high, no matter how much my heart trembled with trepidation or how loud my mind screamed at me to retreat into the welcoming shadows.
The chatter of the crowd died quickly as they announced my arrival, my black gown rivaling the color of their hearts. I stalked through the length of the room, passing whispers of masked jealousy and unadulterated fear. Every object in this place was chosen carefully to show superiority and power, from the formidable guards that were trained to kill at a single command, to the dangling chandeliers of glass and gold, a living metaphor of how each of them had a sword, a death sentence hanging over them.
The massive thrones of gold in the far end of the room cast daunting shadows of twin eagles; monstrosities in my opinion. But I didn't voice my thoughts, I didn't have to; at least to the people who mattered, the slight shift in my expressions was enough of an indicator.
I hated everything about this court and its rulers.
The King and Queen of Merika were rumored to be ruthless, vicious; in not only the battlefield but also in the home they governed. Not many knew the extent of their wrath. But I did, since the moment I had been able to breathe. And as I looked at their faces, stoic as a statue with emotions that limited themselves to cruel amusement, I couldn't help the burning rage that locked up my features in a permanent, cruel smirk.
"Meliora, we have some news for you." My mother, for lack of a better word, started. I stood emotionless in front of the twin eagle thrones, avoiding direct contact with either of my parents. I could feel their magic twisting its way through the room, swaying everyone to its rhythm. It delighted in the sin and lies that kept these people alive; kept the decadence thrumming through this place's veins alive.
The lords and ladies in the room schooled themselves into silence, the moonlight illuminating the monsters they were in the shadows where they kept their skeletons buried. The guards, inconspicuous as they were, stood rapt with attention, almost blending into the black marble walls of the room with their dark uniforms.
"What can I do for you?" I said, biting back the spite from my words. My brother, Rodan, glared a warning at me from the side before I added begrudgingly, "My Queen?"
I ignored the curious, admonishing glances of the courtesans. They didn't have anything better to do than kiss my parents' feet.
With a court looking to turn any weaknesses of ours into prey they could hunt down, I could show none of my own. So I kept the fire out of my eyes and dulled the fight in my veins. I hated doing it, to reduce my armor into ashes of its previous self. But everyone had a role to play, and I had two. I needed to be careful.
Taking a deep breath, I got ready for the awful things they might ask of me. I was a little unnerved by them asking for an audience in front of the nobles, but I didn't pay it much heed, not in need of any more stress to top off my shaking nerves.
"You have been Chosen."
Those syllables were barely out of my father's mouth before the gasps began. Some astonished, some triumphant. Even my brothers looked shocked, all three of them aghast. The room went from a chilling silence to a scarcely masked thrum of whispers and curses.
As for me? I was victorious.
This was exactly what I had wanted.
"I-It is an honor, Your Highnesses," I added a tremble to my voice to make it look like I was scared of the impending death sentence dangling over my head.
I wanted to dance, to express all the joy I felt. My carefully curated and implemented web of plans of months had finally paid off.
"How can the King and Queen allow this?"
"Their daughter? Subjected to this fate?"
I was ecstatic, so much so that most of their comments fell on deaf ears.
"She deserves it all. Serves her right for having run off and embarrass her family like that."
But not this one. Suddenly, I didn't feel so joyous anymore. And my brothers had heard it too, the way their heads snapped in the voice's direction, killer expressions on their faces.
"She is impure. I don't know why they would ever choose her."
"Why would the Prince even want her now? Doesn't he know what she was?"
I tried to shut them all out. But it just kept increasing with my growing panic. This room was too small; for me and their small mentalities to exist simultaneously. My smile slipped but I kept the tears at bay. They didn't know me, they don't matter. I repeated all this to my frantic mind, the floor slipping from beneath my feet. Not another flashback, I pleaded to whatever great force might listen. I would not let them ruin my day, the day I had claimed victory.
I couldn't break down, not here. Not in front of them.
"Shut your mouth, before I do it for you," Aydin said from somewhere far away to one of the courtesans, his voice promising a cold death. At the same time, I felt someone grab me and usher me out of the room, murmuring false promises in my ear. No not someone, Khai. I relaxed in his arms, sagging into the weight of the person that saved me from nightmares that still awoke me at night.
"Deep breaths, Mel. Stay with me."
I did what he asked me to, breathing in and out until the darkness ebbed away from my vision and my locked limbs started functioning again.
"Khai, Aydin. I'm okay," I told my brothers, blowing a piece of hair out of my eye. Their thunderous expressions, yet concerned eyes, told me they weren't buying my words any more than I was, "I promise. It didn't happen."
They both crowded around the chair I sat on, brushing my hair back to its roots and wiping the tears from my face. I didn't blame them for being worried, it had been a long time since my 'episodes' had paid me a visit.
"I don't like this," Aydin spoke up, his jaw ticking with anger, "You can't be Chosen."
Khai nodded his agreement, examining me closely for any other signs of weakness.
"Why? Am I not worthy enough for the Prince?" I asked with a lazy, teasing smile. Aydin glared at me before looking out the window again, his mind wandering through strategies and solutions on how to save me from the fate countless others had lost their lives to.
"The Prince doesn't deserve you. You don't deserve this after all that has happened---" Khai said, his voice rough as if he hadn't spoken in a while. And knowing him, he probably hadn't.
"What was that stunt you pulled in there?" My mother's screeching voice pounded against my already aching head. I quickly stiffened, my face contorting to match her scorned expression.
I whipped my head to the other end of the hall, partially to avoid facing her and partially to shield my eyes from the light bouncing from her extravagant gown, the gold of it catching the attention of all lamps lining the brick hallway. My mother was anything but, more invested in the courtesans and their politics that she forgets to visit her kids months at times. Her face was still a radiant brown, and some speculated that she hadn't aged a day because of her magic. But we knew that wasn't the case, the slight wrinkles and worry lines dusting her face weren't supposed to be there on the face of Merika's Queen. Her magic was supposed to keep her eternal.
But how will cursed magic keep her frozen in time?
"I didn't pull any stunt," I told her as Khai and Aydin subtly moved near me.
"You'll learn how to mind your tongue when you reach Auralis. The High Royal family won't be as forgiving to you as I am. You deserve whatever they do to a Chosen like you," My mother laughed cruelly, striding off with her guards as Khai and Aydin muttered curses citing terrible fates to her retreating back.
"Are you not scared?" Aydin asked quietly. The festivities were still going strong, all of them already having forgotten the announcement my parents had made. They had thought I'd make a scene and had decided to announce it in front of hundreds. I had to hand it to them; if I didn't have a dual purpose behind getting Chosen I would have been a little dramatic in accepting a death sentence.
"No. I'm not." I breathed out and before they could ask any more questions, I told them I wanted to go to my room. Neither argued with that and in fifteen minutes, I was out of the gown and into comfortable nightclothes, nursing my headache.
Chosen. The title and the attention that came with it were no joke. And as happy I seemed, there was still the nagging doubt and fear that clouded my thoughts. Winning wasn't a problem, it was what came after. The locals still thought that being Chosen was an honor, to be the next Queen of a kingdom s cursed as ours. Of course, they didn't know about the cursed part. No one except the nobility knew. And they all sat there and watched as our subjects were fed lies and shown a future made of deception and desertion. And I could do nothing, nothing as their eyes lit up with hope stemming from false claims of prosperity and happiness.
"I know you're there," I murmured to the inky black shadows behind my curtain, my train of thoughts derailing. I sat up straighter, a slight smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.
"Has it been happening a lot these past weeks?" Azra said in the way of greeting as I gestured her to sit on my bed, "We need to go." I ignored her question as I slowly crawled out of my bed.
"You didn't answer my question."
"I don't plan to."
"You need to take better care of yourself. We need you at your best during the competition."
"I know! I don't want to speak further on this topic." I exclaimed, watching as Azra's brows furrowed in frustration and worry, but they didn't push the topic further.
"Why now?" I murmured, my mind exhausted beyond reason. In response, Azra slid behind the curtain and into the secret chamber that only a few knew of. All old castles have their secrets; and ways of hiding them.
Moonlight slipped from the cracks in the wall, illuminating Azra's black skin as it would have an angel's. Their eyes were alert, ears catching on every sound that bounced through the staircase we were sailing down from.
"Come on in."
I breezed through the door, the smell of cinnamon and fresh dirt wafting through my senses as II stood at the threshold for a moment to take it all in. Home, I was home. With the people who had accepted, supported, and trusted me. I knew every creek and crevice of this room, from the chipped paint in the right end of the wall about three feet from ground level to the crazed etchings of a lost mind in the fourth tile of the second row from the start. And knowing someplace, something to the point where I could navigate my way through it in the dark soothed my anxiety more than I liked to admit.
These walls were witness to tears I had shed for the past; the shadows adorning and skittering the corners had understood my pain when I hadn't cared to admit I was hurting. The nightmares, visions hadn't dared visit this sacred place of brick and dirt, and comfort the palace above lacked.
Home. Hope for all out there.
The Fading Dawn.
I looked at the small crowd gathered in the area, the lights almost winked out to provide better cover for when they have to rush back and resume the roles they played; spy for us and the people they swore to help. I gazed at the flag hugging the brick walls, a crescent moon broken down the middle with a sword. The royals' fictitious rule of prosperity coming to an end. And we will be the ones to bring about the light to destroy the dark weaving its way through the minds of innocents.
We will stop them. Stop them from becoming children of cursed magic.
Cursed as I am.