"I hope it is not too hot in here. Turning on the air conditioner always makes me kinda sick."
"No, it is ok."
After seeing me cry and collapse in the middle of the street, Yuka refused to let me go back home and forced me inside of her car. Apparently, we are now going towards Boss house twenty minutes away from here.
"Taoyama-san… right? How did you meet Shinji?"
Still sounding rather annoyed, the stoic Yuka tried to start a conversation and break the awkward silence between us. The fact that this is my first time alone in a car with a woman and the shock from earlier, are making it very hard to breathe in here.
"I have been coming to eat ramen to his shop almost once a week for the past year. We somehow became really close over time."
Stating such simple and superficial reasons really makes me think I should not be going to his house right now.
"I cannot imagine Shinji making ramen, but at least that stupid shop made him a friend. Wouldn't you be interested in buying it?"
I gasped in awe at the seriousness in which she asked me that.
"Akari Ramen?"
"Yeah, I can let you have it real cheap. I don't want to have a single thing to do with Shiji's stuff."
Did she not notice I am wearing a convenience store uniform? How could I buy a store? More importantly, I have been thinking this since the moment I met her and she is being extremely indifferent towards his brother.
"I know what you are thinking. You don't have to look at me with those scary eyes."
She slowed down a little bit and opened one of the windows.
"Shinji left our hometown thirteen years ago and never contacted us again. Not even when our mother got sick was I able to find out about his location. Then yesterday I receive a police call telling me about the accident and that, as his only relative, I must be here as soon as possible to handle a bunch of legal matters. Since then, I have only slept for a few hours and I still have a bunch of things to take care of here before I can continue with my life."
My conversations with Boss were always frivolous, consisting of jokes, ramen and dumb complains about my job. The only times he ever spoke about his private life was whenever he was telling stories about his time working as an executive. It hurts so much finding out about this today, right after he passed away.
"You do not have to answer anything, just let this poor lady vent a little. Besides some teachers and the neighbors, no one has come to see Shinji. I do not even know how to contact his friends or coworkers, that is why I went to the ramen shop hoping to find something and I found you, so just be a good boy and go along with me."
Just like Boss, she has this magical ability to know exactly what I am thinking and what to say in response.
After what felt like an eternity, we arrived at a two-story western style house situated in the residential part of the city. Compared to my one room and one bathroom apartment, I was in front of a mansion.
"I never knew Matsubara-san lived in such a nice place."
"This is what twenty-five years working for a bank can get you. When he left he was already in a management position, so I assume he retired with a magnificent deal."
More than admiration, Yuka spoke with a resentful tone.
"Come inside, Shinji is at his studio. It's the room at the end of the hall."
She opened the front door and nonchalantly pointed inside the house. She is being too carless by letting a complete stranger like me inside the house and that is making me even more self-conscious.
"I gotta make some phone calls. Stay as long as you want."
"Sorry for intruding."
I slowly walked inside the dimly lit house, trying my best not to look around too much. The atmosphere surrounding the place crushed me and made the sadness I have forgotten for the past minutes come back with even more strength. You could feel life had already left this home.
The door leading to the studio was already open and I reluctantly crossed it after sighing one last time in preparation. The room was as large as my whole apartment, with a traditional oak desk and several books covering the walls. At the end of it, under a cabinet full of wine bottles, I could see a small shrine with the picture of Boss and a young woman with long dark hair and almond colored eyes.
Tears began forming again but, before I started weeping, something else caught my attention. A small girl was crouching right next the picture, hugging her knees and covering her face with them, their daughter. I remember now, Boss had a daughter.
Her lone figure, trembling in a corner of this dark place broke my soul. He did not talk about her often, but he still mentioned occasionally that he had a twelve-year old daughter and, more importantly, that he loved her more than anything in the world.
"Sorry to disturb you. I will just say my prayers and leave."
I kneeled in front of the shrine and, without being able to focus at all, tried to think about what to say. The girl right next to me did not move a muscle and looked completely destroyed. I can only imagine what the shock of losing both of her parents in one night must have felt.
After several minutes, the girl faintly took a glance at me and our eyes crossed. I will never forget those empty eyes. They were not swollen nor red from all the crying, they were empty, not a single emotion coming from them. That is when it hit me, no one has come to visit her parents and she has been enduring this alone with Yuka, an aunt she had never seen before yesterday. That is probably the reason why she is sitting in here next to the shrine, clinging to the last piece of her family.
"I met your father in his ramen shop. You must be Akari-san, right? I am now remembering he said the place was named after her daughter."
Maybe it was remorse or maybe I just wanted to vent, but I started speaking my mind as if I was alone inside the room.
"I don't have any friends or family, so your father was the only person I really talked to outside of my job. I feel really strange but, even thought we were not that close, he was still the only friend I had."
Something inside of me lit up just by saying that sad statement about my life.
"Everyone in the shop called him Boss and, even though the ramen was not very good, they all came regularly just to have fun. One time, when I told him about Minami-senpai, he got all the drunkards to give me their awful advice on how to approach her. He even suggested I invite her there for a date, I told him no girl in the world would be interested in having a date at a ramen place."
I began laughing like an idiot remembering all the conversations I had during those lonely afternoons at Akari Ramen.
"Boss got really depressed because of my comment and even tried to implement a salad menu the next week…"
A warm hand interrupted my story. Without me noticing it, the girl was now sitting right next to me, his small and trembling hand holding mine timidly.
"I am sorry, my dumb stories must be really painful right now."
Her hand squeezed me tightly, like she was trying to gather strength to say something and, after a couple of minutes, she raised her head a little to look at me. The saddest smile in the world was being painted right in front of my eyes.
The next thing I knew she was sobbing uncontrollably, screaming in agony and sadness. I had no other choice but to hug her and offer my shoulder as I started crying as well. I understood without her saying it; she was waiting for someone to feel sad with her, someone who also missed her parents, someone to show her that it was okay to cry right now.
By some trick of the destiny, I happened to be that person.
"Akari-san, the person from the guidance center is here…"
I lost track of time until Yuka unexpectedly entered the room shouting.
"What is going on here?"
She looked at the two us crying in the floor for few seconds while I struggled to give an explanation.
"Well, whatever. Hurry up and pack your things, the guy from the guidance center has arrived."