Yes, I know I said I would tell you about the experience that would change my life forever, and no, it is not Marco's marriage proposal. Although it is difficult to imagine, it is something even bigger, but I am going to ask you for your patience, you will soon know what it is about.
After my mother gave me the news of the proposal I went into shock. It just wasn't possible. Even when I read Marco's letter, I couldn't believe it.
That night, my stepfather went out with my sister to buy a turkey and he came for a celebratory supper.
"The Saint of Life has blessed us!" My stepfather exclaimed as he clinked wine glasses with everyone at the table. "This is the beginning of a better life."
I saw the happy faces of my family. I had never seen so much happiness in their looks.
And me. I didn't even know what to think. After hours of receiving the news, I still had to process it. Would Marco's family agree? What would Lady and Lord Derderián have to say about it?
Nadia, my little sister, was especially excited.
"You will be like a princess, Bachué!" She exclaimed.
"Hardly. I cannot even inherit the title of countess," I replied.
But she wasn't listening to me. She danced alone around me.
"You will fulfill my dream. I've always wanted to be a princess! "
That was true. When she was younger, Nadia asked my mother to buy her a purple veil that she saw at a cloth stall in the capital market. She wanted to use it to imagine that she was going to marry a prince.
Of course, our mother never bought it. It was quite expensive.
So Nadia cut a piece of the fabric from one of her skirts and made herself a veil. With it, she pretended that she was marrying a handsome imaginary man of the nobility. When our mother realized it she almost killed her.
"Read the letter again!" My sister asked me.
I took the envelope in my hands, opened it again, and took out the paper.
I had learned to read when I was fourteen. A little late. It happened because I went to the Derderián library to bring afternoon tea to Lucio, Marco's younger brother, who was locked up reading. That was not uncommon for him, he spent more time locked up and reading than he would have liked to admit to Lady Derderián.
"What are you reading this afternoon, Your Grace?" I asked her as I served him his cup on the table.
"Myths and legends of dark-skins," he replied excitedly. "Your people had the craziest beliefs before we came along."
It caught me by surprise. I knew very little about "our history."
"And what does the book say, Your Grace?" I asked curiously.
Young Lucio looked at me with excitement, as if he was about to tell me the greatest story.
"Did you know that your people believed that the Supreme does not exist and that your only gods were the Sacred Beasts?"
"The Sacred Beasts? I've never heard of such things, Your Grace. "
"Yes. You believed that they created the continent and each beast reigned over a region. "
«Interesting…»
I wanted to know more, but I had to go. However, young Lucio promised to teach me to read so that I could discover these wonderful stories myself.
During the next few months, I would come to the library after finishing my work or in my spare time, so that the young boy would teach me.
After two years that felt like a decade, I was finally able to read fluently.
So, yeah, I agreed that I was going to read the letter to Nadia.
"Dear Bachué," I began, "I have chosen to write these words because I am afraid that face to face I would not be able to be so eloquent. Love is so unpredictable, my dear Bachué. The heart seems to behave independently of our rational ideals. What I feel for you is not rational. It is so much stronger. Uncontrollable. The truth is that I love you, Bachué. I can no longer conceive any day of my life without you. I would love to know if my feelings are reciprocated because I cannot imagine that such powerful emotions that overflow from my being, are not mutual. I have been with many more women than I would like to admit. I am ashamed when I think that you know that very well. But the only woman I couldn't have is you. I want to make you my wife, Bachué. I want to love you and make you happy for the rest of our lives. Always yours, Marco. "
"How romantic!" Nadia exclaimed.
"Whatever you've done to him, keep doing it," my stepfather said with a crooked smile.
"Wait for the neighbors to find out. They will die of envy," added my mother.
«Delilah! I have to tell her!!!» I realized.
After the celebratory dinner, I left my house and walked to Delilah's family farm. When I got to the door I hesitated before knocking. My hands were shaking.
How was I going to tell her?
I hesitated for a few minutes and finally found the strength to knock on the door. They opened it. I gulped. Kaia, her mother, answered me.
"Hello, Bachué! What a surprise to see you here! Under his care," she greeted me.
"Under his care," I replied, "Is Delilah there?"
"Yes of course. Come in. "
"No, no, no… Madam Kaia, it is not necessary. It won't be long. "
She called Delilah. I heard her footsteps approach and I felt like I was gasping for air.
How am I going to tell her? I wonder
When her eyes lit up at the sight of me, and a wide smile spread across her face, I knew that telling her the truth would be the hardest thing I would ever do. Until that moment.
"I called you with my mind. I was just thinking of you," she told me.
"We have to talk," I said trying to stay calm and not cry.
Her smile faded.
"What happened? I know that face. Something serious happened. Did someone die? Your mother?"
"No, no, no ... None of that."
I walked away from her house until I reached the chicken pen, where I figured they couldn't hear us.
"You worry me, Bachué," she said as she came closer to hug me.
I pushed her away and that's when the confusion showed in her eyes.
"Bachué?"
I said nothing. Could not.
I couldn't take it anymore and the tears escaped me.
"Hey, hey, honey, you can tell me anything. Trust me," she tried to reassure me.
The chickens near us were clucking.
"It's about Marco ...," I finally mouthed a word.
"Did that bastard touch you again? I swear that ... "
"No, none of that," I cut her off quickly, "is that ..."
"Yes?"
"It's just ... he proposed to me," I finally confessed.
I looked away from Delilah. I couldn't see her face.
For a moment she was silent, like processing what I had just told her.
Then she burst out laughing.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, it's a joke, right? Ha, ha, ha, ha "
I shook my head.
Delilah got serious again.
"Really?"
I nodded, as my tears fell nonstop.
"No," Delilah said. "No, no, no, it can't be. You rejected him, right? "
I did not answer.
"Bachué?"
I did not answer.
"Bachué? You rejected him, right? " She was raising her voice.
I did not answer.
"NO! BACHUÉ! TELL ME YOU REJECTED HIM! " She grabbed my shoulders tightly and shook me. "TELL ME, BACHUÉ! PLEASE NO, DON'T DO THIS TO ME! "
Now it was her who was crying. I was screaming inside. I wanted it all to end. Everything was a nightmare.
Delilah fell to her knees, just like when she proposed to me that time.
"Bachué… for what you want the most… No… don't do this to me. You can't accept him ... "
The wind blew very hard.
"Are you going to give yourself to those light-skins?" She complained to me. "Do you know what they do to dark-skins like us?"
It was funny that she considered herself dark skin because her complexion was a little lighter than others like us.
"They kill us, Bachué," she reminded me. "A few days ago they stoned a dark-skinned man to death just because he stole an apple. No trial. A death sentence for the crime of being hungry! "
I said nothing. The wind blew again.
"That's what they do to us, Bachué!" Delilah continued. "Doesn't that matter to you? Don't you care how cruel they have been to us? "
"What else can I do, Dali? This is my duty as a daughter," I sobbed.
"Fuck duty! Do you love him? " She got up to face me.
"What does love have to do with all this?"
"Everything! Forget about me, Bachué, don't do this to yourself! "
"I cannot do that to my family."
"But you can do it to yourself? To me? Was it a lie all those times you swore love to me? "
"You know I was not lying ..."
"Then?"
"Then what, Delilah? Then what? Could it be otherwise? You know that ours was a beautiful dream that was going to end one day! "
"No…"
"You knew it, Dali ..."
"No, no, no…"
"You knew that we are abominations ... Destined to be stoned to death in the street if we continue with this!"
"Don't use that word!"
"You knew that people would never accept it, The King would never accept it, The Supreme ..."
"Fuck people, fuck the cock sucker King, and fuck The Supreme!"
"Blasphemy, Delilah!"
"FUCK THE SUPREME, FUCK, FUCK!" Delilah shouted with all her strength looking at the sky. "And to hell with you, Bachué."
That hurt more than anything.
Delilah strode away in tears. I wanted to chase her, hug her, and stroke her short copper-colored hair.
"I love you, Delilah! Never forget that!" I yelled at her as she walked away from me, not caring for the first time that they would hear me.
***
My family is super devoted, so before accepting Marco's proposal in front of Lady and Lord Derderián, we went to visit the High Priest of Aldahur.
To be honest I had a hope to avoid my commitment to Marco. It turns out that for a dark-skin to marry a noble, he or she must have a signed permission from a High Priest. That is essential. For they are considered the eyes of the Supreme and the Saints on earth.
Then ... perhaps, the High Priest would find my eventual marriage unthinkable. He would believe it to be blasphemy. He would cancel the engagement immediately.
Yes. That was going to happen.
According to the law, each of the engaged had to go and ask for the blessing separately. Marco had already gone to ask for it, now it was my turn. And it would be I who would know the final verdict of the High Priest.
«No pressure»
Entering the temple of the Southern Supreme made my knees shake. As I walked the path from the door to the altar where the High Priest was kneeling praying, I thought I was going to faint.
I knelt before the imposing statue of the one true god, next to the High Priest.
I closed my eyes and pretended I was praying too.
The High Priest rose from the ground. He was not very tall and despite being one of the most powerful men in the southern capital, he looked… weak, pale, and skeletal. I had the impression that his huge green velvet cap was going to crush him.
He reached out his hand and I kissed it gently.
"Under His care," I recited.
"Under His care," the Sumo replied as he scrutinized me. "You can get up, daughter."
"Thank you, Your Eminence."
"So you are the lucky dark-skin," he commented with a wide smile.
I nodded.
"Welcome, my daughter," he said in an affable voice.
I gulped.
"Your Eminence," I began, "I have come to ... for your blessing in the request for the heir of the House Derderián."
"I know, daughter, but, first of all, answer me something: Is your love for him true?"
What was that question about? Was it a trap?
Had the saints given him the power to see into the depths of my soul?
"Why the question, Your Eminence?" I asked worriedly.
"It's a valid question, isn't it?" He answered. "The Supreme is pure love, and he only allows the union of a dark-skin with a noble when there is a very strong love."
Surely he had already asked Marco that same question. What would he have answered?
There I understood why they separate couples to ask for a blessing.
Why did we not agree on this questionnaire? Perhaps Marco didn't consider it necessary. Maybe he took my answers for granted.
The High Priest approached me and looked me straight in the eye. Without blinking. There I felt that he was really trying to peer inside me.
"Answer me: do you really love him?"
I thought of Delilah.
"Yes. A lot. This is how I met love, and I can't imagine myself with anyone else. My only wish is to spend all our days together until death does us part. "
The High Priest gazed at me. Scrutinizing me. He didn't blink.
And then he spoke.
"In the name of The Supreme, the only and true God, of his children all the Saints, and the Sacred Mother, I grant you my blessing."
I didn't know to say. I was confused. I hoped that perhaps he would stop this marriage.
"Your eminence?"
"Yes?"
"Forgive me for being bold, but ... I am dark-skinned."
"I realize it, my girl. It's pretty obvious. "
"Therefore, Your Eminence… I… am dirty," I tried to play my last card so that the High Priest would not give me the blessing.
"Yes…"
"I am part of a people punished by The Supreme."
"Correct…"
"Do I have the blessing to marry a noble light-skin?"
The High Priest gave me a condescending smile as if he had already answered that question many times.
"Your people began to pay the penance of their heresy two centuries ago," he began to explain, "only The Supreme determines when enough punishment has been done. Years ago the King considered repealing the law that prohibited the union of dark-skins with nobles. Perhaps, it is about time that you purify yourselves in marriage with the purest race. Your children will no longer bear the sins of their parents. If it is the will of the Supreme, who am I to prevent it? Let us remember that HIS will is above any man. "
Saints! It hadn't worked.
But… I still lacked one last strategy. I thought about my… peculiarity. That ability that allowed me to see… things.
I wanted to confess it to the High Priest. If there was a time to atone for my sins, that was it.
"Your eminence ...," I stammered.
"Yes?"
"Mm ... what if ...? Um… what if I… am a sinner? "
"We are all sinners, my child," he replied in a gentle, reassuring tone.
"No, but ... the greatest sinner ..."
"The greatest sinner? Where do you get that from?" He sounded confused.
I did not answer.
"What do you mean, girl?" He asked suspiciously now. Like he can already smell my sins.
«Tell him», I said to myself.
"Speak, girl, what do you mean?" He insisted.
Confess.
"So, girl? Are you going to tell me or not?" He sounded like he was losing patience. "You know that there are no secrets before The Supreme, nor all his children The Saints, nor before the Sacred Mother."
I finally filled up with courage.
"I ... I can see ... things ... Your Eminence."
"Things?"
"Yes ... people ... who shouldn't be there ..."
Then the High Priest's face lit up. He didn't seem scared, not even angry, rather… excited.
"Oh my girl, my girl… Don't be silly. A sinner? But The Supreme himself has blessed you! " He exclaimed with glee.
I didn't understand.
"My child, The Supreme speaks to you directly," he continued, "communicates with you through visions. Can't you see? You are an impure one who has been chosen to begin the path of redemption for your damned people. " He grabbed my head with both hands and got so close to my face that I could felt his breath. "Can't you see, girl? This is not just any wedding! It is a sign of the infinite love of the one true God! "
«By all Saints ... I will not be able to avoid this marriage»