ZAS! I flogged my bare back. ZAS! Another scourge. ZAS! ZAS! At each flagellum, I hoped that the sound of the whistle would not be heard beyond the four walls of my room in the Duke's mansion.
ZAS! ZAS! ZAS!
The practice of self-flagellation was rare among the Supreme's parishioners. Fewer and fewer people flagellated themselves, but I was one who still practiced it. The teachings of the Supreme one were clear: the pain of the body is a way of atonement.
And I had a lot to atone for.
I was constantly haunted by the image of Urma's lifeless eyes.
ZAS!
I killed someone.
ZAS!
I caused Sir Raymi pain.
ZAS!
Was he going to discover me?
ZAS!
Maybe I should go to the dungeons for my sins.
ZAS!
Maybe I was not the pure woman that I thought I was. Maybe I was dirty. No better than Urma. Maybe I deserved everything that was happening to me, and I didn't deserve Sir Raymi's love.
I stopped whipping myself, cringed over the pain in my back.
And then ... I got it.
I was not a dirty woman, not even close to Urma. No. I was a fair woman. I was whipping myself for that very reason. We are all sinners, said the supreme, but only the righteous accept their faults and atone for them.
Of course! I was fair! I was still pure!
Everything that was happening to me was a test sent by the Supreme, to show how worthy I was.
And Sir Raymi was going to see it. Yes, I was going to demonstrate it to him. He would see what a good woman I was to him. He would see that we were made for each other. Perfect as husband and wife.
It was late, past midnight. My back hurt horribly. It was time to try to rest.
"Forgive me, Sir Raymi," I whispered before falling asleep.
***
The next day, the opportunity I had been waiting for presented itself. That's why I was spying for the ashaasins.
The Queen informed us, her maids, that in that morning she would go riding in the woods with Duke Dumont, and that she wanted to go alone. No lairs, no companions, no maidens.
The Vulture had already warned me that something like that could happen. The riding meant the Queen wanted to talk something secret with her host. And I had to find a way to be around to spy on what the two of them had to secretly talk.
When I saw the two horses get lost in the woods, I ran out from the country house and into the dense grove as well. I hoped that no one had seen me, I left through a side door of the mansion, very little traveled, that only the members of the house service used.
The question was: at what exact point were the Queen and Dumont going to stop and talk?
There was a small hill just two leagues from the mansion from where one person could see the entire forest, it was a great possibility that the two of them wanted to stop at that point to talk.
There was nothing to lose, I decided to run up the hill. I didn't care for the mud, the branches, the dust. I could wash the dress later, at that time I only cared about reaching the Queen as quickly as possible.
I got to the hill, and indeed there were the Queen and the Duke. I was very agitated, but took a deep breath, and made sure they didn't see me, hiding behind a thick tree.
I was a little removed from the two of them, but I could still hear what they were saying.
"How are those fatherless?" Asked the queen.
Fatherless?
"The latest news I received is that they have collected six," the Duke replied.
"Six? Mm… it's a good number."
"Pretty good, Your Majesty. And you can still have more. "
For all the Saints… what were those two talking about? What the hell were the fatherless?
"How much time do we have? It is time to announce my pregnancy," said the Queen.
WHAT? WAS THE QUEEN PREGNANT? HOW IS IT THAT HER MAIDEN DIDN'T KNOW?
Impossible!
I had collected the bloodstained sheets from the Queen, in the last cycle of her month.
"How much time do we have? Seven months, I would say, in some cases six months," the Duke replied.
"Okay, it's time to announce it. I believe that at this point it is time the kingdom must know that we will soon have an heir. "
The Duke nodded smiling.
No, no, no ... what was happening?
"The mission must be a success, Dumont," said the queen. "The king is weak and his Dukes are traitors. The fate of Alba Terra depends on this. "
I didn't understand much, but I would still have to convey to the ashaasins everything I was listening to.
The Queen and the Duke mounted their respective mounts. I was startled and ran back to the mansion.
I did it as fast as I could. When I got to the side service door at the country house, everything was spinning and I was gasping for air. I had never run so much in life. I had never had my heart pounding. Not even when… I did THAT to Urma.
I had spied on the Queen; I had disobeyed an order. But I had done it for the common good. I would receive my punishment, as the law of the Supreme stated, but I would remain a pure woman.
I tied a white ribbon to a tree near the mansion. That was a sign to the Ashaasins that I had found something.