Seeing my stepmom and Dad, I can't help but be affected by their disputes. I know they love each other, I can see it. Though Dad did a mistake before and it bears fruit, Dad didn't repeat it and always courting Auntie Julie by all means. Though Auntie Julie still remembers how unfaithful Dad was before because of me and how she treated me fairly, Auntie Julie didn't try to break their marriage. After all, I love both of them that's why it was painful seeing them arguing. I, sometimes, maybe devastated to hear them arguing.
Seeing them quarrel, though not in front of me and Frida, brings a painful realization. They serve as an awakening that life was hopeless and can arouse painful kinds of fears.
I approached Mother Lena who are busy with her phone. "What's the matter?"
Mother Lena looked around and whispered in my ear, enough for me to hear. "I heard them mentioning your name."
My eyes widened upon hearing that it was because of me. It triggers my emotions how I felt before whenever Mother Lena used to tell me the reason why they are arguing. I can't understand why there are no memories about my childhood aside from the stories I heard from our helpers and Frida.
"Everything will be okay, Andrea," Mother Lena said to console me. I responded with a faint smile.
I went upstairs and I didn't dare to eavesdrop. I just want to put in mind that both of them aren't perfect and they have trials just as I do help me to cope when they argue.
After all, I have the right to be annoyed by Auntie Julie's attitude but I know it's bad because, at the end of the days, she's striving to meet my needs.
I change my uniform into comfortable clothes and went downstairs to help in preparing dinner.
Frida also arrived and immediately went near me. "Is there's something I didn't know?"
"Auntie and Dad are arguing," I said as I put the dish on the dining table. She nodded and didn't dare to say anything. She went to her room.
It's bad to join in with the two clashing voices. Why add more voices? That's what I have learned throughout the years.
After an hour, despite the ranging clash that happened, we managed to eat dinner together.
"Andrea, no matter what, I don't want you to choose our company for your immersion. If they suggested that you should choose our company, automatically declined your teacher. You better choose another partner institution," Auntie Julie said in between our meals.
"I told you, it must be in our company," Dad rebutted.
I can't comprehend what's their point.
"Why, Eron? Isn't it good to let her experience a new environment like the Chua's group?" Auntie said sarcastically. It seems that she was implying something but refuse to spill the tea. Dad didn't answer her, instead, he looked at me. I noticed how Auntie Julie's expression changed and shifted her gaze to me.
"Andrea."
"Andrea."
Auntie and Dad both called my name. I glanced at Frida but no sign of her want to save me. I was shocked that all my thoughts about immersion were already settled. That they chose for me but I was wrong all this time.
"Andrea," Auntie said again as a warning.
I let a deep sighed and earn the courage to say my thoughts. "Auntie and Dad," I paused. "Please don't ask me to chose or take sides of both what you want. This is something you should work out between yourselves because I didn't mind what kind of partner institution was that."
"How dare you to say that?" Auntie said as her spoon and fork she's holding put back on the table creating an annoying sound. Auntie gripped her hands and glared at me. Meanwhile, Dad held Auntie's hands' tight grip but after a little bit, she loosened up. Dad looked at me apologetically. Of course, Dad will take her side. Speaking of the distinction between equal and fair.
After dinner and cleaning, I bid my good night to Mother Lena and other helpers and went inside my room. I took a quick shower and did my routine. Later, I laid on my bed.
I stared at the ceiling as I tried to put away in my mind what had happened this day.
The only good thing that happened this day was the photo moment with Asher. I reached my phone placed on the top of the table. I browsed my phone and proceed to the gallery to save photos.
I looked intently at the photo of me and Asher. I was mesmerized by how beautiful the picture was. Asher was showing his contagious smile that captured many hearts. And for me, I didn't expect that a genuine smile escaped from my lips despite the darkest moments I experienced. I wish I could give a genuine smile like what I've felt in the picture.
I realized that when you are with your special someone on your bad day, it turns into something remarkable.
And the next thing I knew, I was in a deep sleep.
It was a child version of me eavesdropping on someone's conversation with a faceless child. Two voices clashing in a room and as a child, being innocent didn't understand why they are arguing.
Then it swift to another scene where the woman in the picture gave a picture of her together with the woman to a child version of me. 'This will tell who you are.' Then all things become dark as a child version of me witnessing a car accident.
I cried and cried. The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. After wakening, I cried again.
I was panting hard and there's a tight pain in my chest. I want to escape but as if there was a force not allowing me to move. I tried so hard and the next thing I recognized was that I was being jolted awake. There's a bead of tears on the side of my eyes. I wiped it off with the of my palm.
The dream was so vivid and if I were to judge, it seems happened in real life or should I say, it was all true no matter cost. But the thing here was, if it was true, why I can't remember? There are no memories at the back of my mind telling me that I experienced it while inside my heart, it telling me that it was part of my life as me.
I didn't know how minutes had passed and I became awake.
I couldn't sleep after dreaming like that. Because there is a part of my brain that doesn't want to sleep anymore, maybe my brain's thinking will get worse if I will not grant it.
I just focused on my school works. Even though I have a hard time diverting my attention, at least, there's a reason for me to become productive.
When I realized what time it was I just went down to do my daily routine before going to school. When I was done with the rest of the helpers, I went upstairs to get ready for school. After I got off, Frida, Dad and Auntie came out for breakfast. While eating, no one dares to say something. We are filled with silence, only the sound of the fork, spoon and plate clashing.
"Let me drop you at school," Frida said.
"Frida, let her go to her school alone. Don't spoil her," Auntie intervened. Sometimes I don't understand what made her furious, her point is and even taking me to school is a big deal. Frida looked at me and do make face. I bowed my head and fixed my backpack. I even combed my hair with fingers.
Auntie Julie eyed me. "Oh!" she smirked. "You dressed so neatly. What made you do so? Your boyfriend?"
I don't know if it was a sound compliment upon noticing my get up. Somehow, I found it sarcastic. "I don't have a boyfriend, Auntie."
"Oh, it should be. You are too young. Don't be like others who neglect education because they flirt too early," Auntie said as she walked away while flipping her hair. She might be harsh to me but she can be nice sometimes.
Auntie's car passed me as I walked out of the home. But there was no doubt that when Frida's automobile passed past, it would come to a halt. I declined because I was afraid Auntie would find out, but she insisted on stopping by so I could get to school early.
As we crossed the familiar road, I just focused my eyes on the passers-by.
Suddenly a phone rang causing me to turn to Frida. "Little sis, can you check who is the caller? It is on the pocket of my pouch."
I did what she said and tapped the accept button since Dondi is the caller.
'Hon, are you on your way?'
"Yes, how's the schedule of our prenuptial photoshoot?"
'I didn't know. There is no update on the sewn dress yet.' Dondi's response seemed anxious.
"Is that so? I'm on a full schedule now, hon, I have one meeting one after another. I just don't know tomorrow." I felt a little that even though his schedule was full, she still had time to take me.
I didn't bother to listen to what they were talking about because Frida pulled the car over to talk to Dondi properly and the loudspeaker was turned off.
"Is everything alright?" I said looking at Frida who started again the engine and continued to drive after the call. "I can go tomorrow since it's the weekend. For sure Auntie will allow me to appear, you know her."
Anything that involves Frida, Auntie can do anything to please her. Such manner is hard to bear but day by day, I came to use to it.
And at least I have something to call family. Not only a dream.