"Hmm, I'll take your temperature, Madoka. How are you feeling?"
My Oba-san caressed my cheek. Her hands felt ice cold, but I knew that was just the fever making it feel that way. Mary-san was easily the warmest person I've met since I woke up from my coma.
As I lay in bed, wondering when all the aching in my body would stop, I spoke up.
"I feel horrible, Oba-san."
She rubbed my head and finished taking my temperature. It read thirty-eight Celsius when she angled it my way.
"It might be from all the stress, lack of sleep, and not eating well. You just take your time and get a lot of rest. It's January, but I already informed your school of how sick you are. You don't have to be at school just yet…"
"Thanks, Mary-san… I'll sleep."
It's been almost two weeks since my last chat with mom over the phone. Over that long time, I haven't been in the mood to do much of anything. And towards the end of our holiday break, I got sick.
I sighed deeply, thinking about the mess our "family" became. All the lies that mom propagated about what happened between her and I. How she manipulated Mari all those years. And all the pain that our family endured as Mom and Mari separated due to it all. Thankfully I've been in contact with Hana-chan and Mari.
But it's been hard not contacting Mom though. Everything was broken and it was hard for me to see how to put the pieces back together. As if the puzzle of my life changed midway and the pieces didn't fit where they were supposed to anymore. It was stressful... no wonder why I ended up in bed, exhausted.
I felt disgusted though. I was raised to respect my parents and everyone older than me. But in these months, my world shifted, and I saw that adults aren't perfect like I once believed.
My phone lit up and buzzed on my nightstand. Mary-san jumped up and looked at the name displayed on the front suspiciously for my sake. She lifted my phone and a smile came to her face.
"It's okay. I blocked my mom's number a while ago. You… don't have to worry, Mary-san."
"Whatever she has to say, she can go through me. I'm just making sure that you can just relax for now. Here, I think you'll be happy to see who it is."
Like a mother hen, she was shielding me from the horrors of the world outside. It made me giggle.
"Okay..."
Groggily, I took the phone from her to see a name that itched in my chest.
"Mari?"
I answered as the corner of my lips raised. Mary-san stood up and tiptoed her way to my door. With a wave, she let me be, shutting the door gently. I rolled over and held my aching body.
"How are you doing, Madoka?"
She sounded concerned as she spoke to me tenderly.
"I've… been better."
My head was spinning, and the room was like a Sahara desert. It sounded like Mari was driving, but I couldn't tell. Thinking about it more, a lot of our conversations like this consisted of Mari in the car driving to and from places. It was a bit refreshing, chatting with her like this.
"Did you get a chance to go to the doctor?"
I nodded, even though she couldn't see me.
"Yes ma'am. I went yesterday, and they gave me a checklist of things to take and what I need to do. They assume it's just a normal cold."
"Well, that's a good sign at least. You get a lot of rest and try not to think about things, okay?"
I closed my eyes and just listened to her. I lacked the strength to do much talking. So, listening to her felt nice.
"Hey, Mari…"
I whispered, trying my best to reach out to her, but my strength was gone, thanks to this fever of mine.
"Yeah, Madoka?"
"I know we haven't had a good chance to sit down and talk about everything that's happened. But I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you went through all this. I-I should have spoken up in the past and told you... why I didn't want to leave my room. That mom..."
Maybe if I would have expressed myself better in the past, this chaotic future wouldn't have played out. Being in bed for so long, all kinds of scenarios went through my head. I regretted it a lot...
"Hey, Madoka… why are you apologizing? It wasn't your fault. Everything falls on me and Ayumi, okay?"
"Nnngg…"
I grumbled a bit.
"Are you pouting?"
I sighed.
"A little… Hehe. I… I just wish everything would have been different."
Mari giggled on her end, making me blush a bit.
"Awww, I wish I could see that pout on your face."
She teased.
"You need to get better. I'll be over later today with Hana, and we'll come to see you, okay Madoka?"
I pushed my ear closer to the phone. I'm not sure why I did this either. In a way, it felt comforting to hear her look out for me. This… this feeling was so familiar.
This feeling was how I felt when I stayed up late with Mari and talked to her about all my problems. As if the "me" in the past and my current self were merging. I was finally finding myself again.
Yes, this was the feeling from when I longed for her, wasn't it?
"Okay… I will do my best to get better, Mari."
I promised as I clenched my chest. I wanted to see her face, so I closed my eyes and imagined her next to me.
"I'll contact your friends too so they can come over and help you.~"
Mari said, causing me to open my eyes in a slight panic.
"Oh, you don't need to do that. I already couldn't make it to their New Year's celebration with my fever. I feel bad and wouldn't want to bother them."
Saya-san and the rest of the fine arts club had a plan for the New Year. They kept it a secret and I heard it was a lot of fun. I couldn't make it because I started feeling bad around that time. But Hana-chan promised to tell me all about it.
Looking back… it was probably just the stress and everything cultivating into me in this bed just as I thought. A pile of stress and staying in the cold too long.
"It's time for you to relax, Madoka. Let everyone else take care of you for a bit."
I giggled.
"Sure, that doesn't sound too bad."
My vision went blurry as my body grew hotter. I don't remember if we spoke about anything else because my mind was too hazy as I drifted off into a burning hot slumber…
When I woke up, it was already dusk. The orange light dazzled in my room. It felt like I was in a desert, wanting water. Slowly, I reached out my hand, trying my best to reach for something to quench my thirst.
"Are you thirsty?"
A voice touched my ears. I couldn't tell if it was real or not but I nodded as my hand fell back on my chest.
"Here you go."
I was given a straw, and after a few sad slips, my stomach fought back and I pushed my head back into the pillow. Suddenly a cold forehead touched mine.
Her deep dark hair merged with my brown bangs. Our noses were close… so close they nearly touched. Her breath was sweet, and if I wasn't feeling like a rock was on my chest, I probably would have kissed her.
But instead, I wrinkled my brows and pouted.
"You're going to get sick, Mari. Go… get away."
Weakly, I tried to move my head. But she kept teasing. Softly, she held my hand and gently pulled me closer to her.
"If I get your fever will you take care of me?"
She whispered, her breath caught my ear.
My body grew hotter, more than the fever could have ever given me. That's when it came to me… that Mari wasn't holding back. She… was treating me like how she used to. And… I felt so happy.
I looked to the side and saw that bracelet from Christmas. She was wearing it... like how I always wore her necklace. This was sensory overload. I wanted to scream in happiness, but I was too weak to do so. So, I calmed my mind and looked into her eyes.
"If we both get sick, Hana-chan's going to have to take care of us."
"Hehe, I wouldn't want to do that to her."
We both laughed, and Mari let go. For a bit we sat there, just glancing at one another. This was nice.
"Mari, thanks for coming."
I beamed with a smile and a tilt of my head. My body felt as though it was on fire, making me a tad woozy. Mari helped me lay back down, likely noticing my fatigue.
"No problem. Hana will be here soon with a few supplies. And I heard she's bringing a friend too~"
She sounded so much like a kid. How I missed this playful side of her. I rolled over so I could look at her. My body ached and my muscles were tense, but it was worth it, seeing her fox-like grin.
"Sorry for waking you up."
Gently, Mari touched my forehead.
"No worries and thanks for the water. You saved me. I… could have died!"
I cried out. Well, probably not died, but the water was refreshing.
"That means I'm your hero who saved you from the brink of death!"
Mari put her nose in the air and closed her eyes. She had that smug look about her that made me want to pull her cheeks in retribution.
"You've always been my hero, Mari."
I shielded my lips with my sheets but my cheeks must have been burning red as I confessed.
"Oh..."
Mari rubbed the back of her head.
My heart was overflowing with love and I wanted to cry for some reason. This felt like a reward for how honest I could be. And to my surprise, she blushed too. Mari… blushed so much that she had to turn away. I guess I got her good.
"Hahaha… ha… you're the one who should be burning up right now, Madoka."
Embarrassed, Mari turned away.
"Anyway, while we wait for your amazing little sister to save you with medication, I wanted to let you hear this!"
The sly fox took out her phone and pushed play on an audio file. I waited to hear what was going to play. It took a bit before it started for me to hear what sounded like a growl.
"What's that?"
["Nnnnnnng… naa…. Nggggg…"]
Mari held it to her cheek and confessed.
"It's your cute snoring! You fell asleep on the call so I pushed the record button, and here it is!"
"D-Delete it!"
Weakly, I slumped out of bed and reached out to her. Mari pulled away slightly, and with her free hand, she gently pushed me back into bed.
"Nooo! I don't get to hear you snore often. It's cute!"
I grabbed her wrist when suddenly, the wind was knocked from me, causing me to collapse back in bed. With all my weight, I held on and pulled Mari onto the bed with me. She caught her hand on the other side of me. We… stared at one another.
We were so close, like the night at the Inn and Onsen. There were no doubts anymore... This was where I belonged. But what ruined the mood was the obnoxious snoring noise that came from me at my moment of weakness.
Annoyed, I glanced back at the crow head above me.
"You're… such a dumbass."
"But you like that about me, right, Madoka?"
As our eyes traced each other like two souls feeling one another deeply, I nodded, doing my best to accept what was true. I didn't need to hide it anymore. For the first time… in a long time… it was okay for me to admit it.
"Yeah, I do like that about you, Mari. No, I-I love that about you."
Our hands locked and for a moment, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Her slim fingers wrapped in mine and I waited in anticipation of what she was going to do next. That's the thing about Mari, I always felt like I was on a roller coaster when we teased one another…
No, that wasn't true… may be more like a pleasant ride on a gondola that rode us to new places. And every new scenery was breathtaking. That's the only way I could describe my heart beating so hard.
"Hmm?"
Mari perked her head up.
In the distance, we heard the sound of footsteps coming upstairs. A pair of them had to be Hana-chan and the mysterious "friend" she was bringing along. I had an idea who it might be though. Mari put her hand on my head and gave me a gentle smile.
"I'm glad that you love that about me. Because there's plenty of things I love about you too, Madoka."
Tenderly, she whispered in my ear before putting herself in a less compromising position. I'm sure her heart was pounding just as much as mine when the door opened softly.
Her lush ash hair was the first thing I noticed. I wasn't expecting her to be the friend Hana-chan brought along with her.
"Yuko-chan?"
Yuko-chan's hands were full of medical supplies and other things. From behind her, Hana-chan burst into the room next.
"Madoka-chan! Madoka-chan!"
She grabbed me, causing me to struggle in bed. None of Koda's were acting like I was sick.
"Hana! Madoka's sick, give her a break."
Mari said, not following her own advice. I guess this is a prime example of "Do as I say, not as I do."
"Oh, sorry Onee-chan!"
I looked towards the door, spotting Yuko-chan standing there, motionlessly. It was clear to me that the tension in the room was thick with these two. Mari stood up and made her way over to the ghost in the corner.
"Mihara-san, thanks for bringing all this for Madoka. It's a big help."
She brought out that smile… but it wasn't fake. No, Mari seemed genuine to me. Yuko-chan on the other hand was still in a defensive pose, staying as close to the door as she could.
"Oh, mom. You know Yuko-san?"
Mari nodded.
"Yeah, we met when Madoka was in her coma at the hospital. She would come regularly. And she came to Madoka's birthday, remember Hana?"
Mari added before turning back to her. She took the bait like a gerbil looking for food and made her way over to me.
"Ah… Madoka-chan. I brought some nice cooling pads for your fever and… ah… even some bottled mineral water."
Excitedly, she popped out item after item, neatly placing them in a row.
"Thanks, Yuko-chan. You brought a lot for me."
I was a little embarrassed, but I knew she did all of this because she cares.
"Sorry, I couldn't make it to the New Year's celebration you all had. I'm sure it was fun. You guys need to tell me all about it."
"I-It was very fun. But we all missed having you there."
Yuko-chan admitted.
"Mom drove me to Mae-chan's place, and we went together, Onee-chan! I have pictures I wanted to show you too."
Mari waved her hand.
"Your little sister told me she had a great time with Watanabe-san. I'm starting to think Hana might be looking up to her too."
Hana-chan rubbed the back of her hair.
"Yeah, Mae-chan is so much fun! I like her, Onee-chan. Isn't she fun, Yuko-san?!"
Hana-chan's eyes lit up, talking about my childhood friend. It warmed my heart to know Mae-chan had been a good influence on Hana-chan.
Well.. maybe not a good influence. Mae-chan still does dumb things, but my little sister looks up to her, and that's all that matters.
"Y-Yes! Mae-san is very fun. She makes the fine arts club a lot more exciting… especially when she pairs up with Saki-chan."
The ghost sounded tired, thinking of the two of them together. I… know that feeling well.
"Oh, you're in the fine arts club, Mihara-san?"
Mari asked.
"Y-Yes, I… really like making art. It's... fun."
Mari looked closely at Yuko-chan. With a finger on her lip, she questioned.
"With how tall you are, I figured you go back to basketball."
Yuko-chan perked up.
"Oh, I wasn't good at it. So…"
Shyly, she turned away.
"Ah! Onee-chan has a picture from her on her background screen, Mom!"
Innocently, Hana-chan suggested. I was hesitant though because I knew the story behind these two and how those carnations mean a lot more than I initially thought.
"I've seen them, it's such a detailed drawing."
Mari said as she took my phone and looked over it.
"Yeah, it's full of passion. I like it a lot, Mihara-san."
She continued to praise before handing me my phone back. Those words sounded so gentle, different from the last time I showed her them, before our fight at the dinner table. There was a different aura around Mari. I realized I've been watching Mari's expressions quite a bit today.
She looked so relaxed, free to express how she felt. And those emotions made their way into her compliment of Yuko-chan.
"Ah… thank you, Koda-san."
But Yuko-chan understandably didn't want to look at her. I could only imagine what was going through her head, thinking about those flowers again.
"I'm about to leave so you guys can have the floor taking care of her."
"You're leaving?"
Yuko-chan asked, tilting her head in confusion.
"Yeah, I have a few things to do. I'll swing back by to pick you up later, Hana-chan."
"Alright, mom!"
She approached the door but before leaving, Mari looked back at the ghost. Yuko-chan jumped as they locked eyes.
"Before I go actually, would you mind if we talked, Mihara-san? I have a few things I want to talk to you about."
I was waiting with bated breath. I knew how much Yuko-chan didn't like Mari. It was enough that she'd deflect it all on Hana-chan just because she looked like her. To be honest, if Yuko-chan wasn't such a mouse, I'd be afraid she'd hit Mari or do something equally violent.
"O-Okay."
But to my surprise, Yuko-chan nodded meekly and agreed. She glanced back at me and to the door before they both left. Everything in me wanted to know what they were talking about…But this conversation would be between them. I guess it was better that way. They needed to talk about what happened while I was in my coma…
About the carnations…
And the feelings behind them that set the path they tread on today.