"Wahhh…"
Like an ecstatic child peering through the window of a candy store, I pressed my face to the clear glass pane. A lovely array of delightful knick- knacks glistened in the window's artificial light, only adding to my excitement.
This was unbecoming of a proper young lady, pushing my nose against the shop window like this. But the low prices and all the gifts and treats heightened my mood.
"Ohhh, Sora-chan might like this. Ohhh, that looks like something good for Mae-chan!"
The Christmas holidays usually were for couples to come together and show their love for each other. Go on dates, eat out at fancy restaurants, and fall blissfully in love again as if it was their first meeting. But for someone like me who's in less than an ideal situation when it comes to love, giving my love to everyone else around me is what I'm going to do instead.
That was maybe going against the Japanese spirit, though. Still, thankfully, I shouldn't be judged by my friends because most of them aren't in relationships either. To think our love lives have been pretty… turbulent and unsuccessful, to say the least.
My shoulders dropped a bit as my excitement died down and reality clouded its way into my mind.
"No… I can't think like that. I have to… find gifts for everyone… even Mari-san."
Since that day that Mari-san gave me that necklace in the Red Roses, I knew I wanted to give her something to cherish too in return.
Even though Takade-san made me question my motives for doing so… it was something I had to do. I mean… She was the catalyst for me growing up and changing. It would only be right if I thanked her properly.
I told myself I'd give up on Mari-san that night on the moonlit grass… yet I still wanted to give her a gift to think about me? My actions weren't aligning with my words… and I slowly accepted that fact.
I didn't care… And I wanted to fulfill that same wish that helped me move forward.
"Oh… this might be perfect for..."
Day by day, I searched high and low for personalized gifts for all my friends. After a while, I began cherishing my alone time. As if the world I was thrust into was background noise, I enjoyed… being a high school girl, mindlessly shopping away with the goal to see my friends… smile.
As I worked at the Red Roses, weeks and weeks flew by. At times, during my breaks, I could look around the mall. It became a habit to window shop before work and sometimes after, even though most stores started closing around that time. Just by dumb luck, I saw a perfect gift for Yuko-chan.
"Hehe, I hope she likes it."
Holding it in my hand, I raced out of the shopping mall with a new gift acquired for my illusive ghost friend. Evenings from then on would mirror each other.
As time had passed, I saw a gift for Mae-chan, So-chan, Risa-san, and the others. Before I knew it, most of my salary went to gifts for friends and those I cared about. Trying to hide them all became more difficult than finding what to buy. Especially with Hana-chan, it's hard to keep secrets from my little flower.
"Got the last one! I hope Hana-chan loves it."
With wrapping completed, I hid the last gift in the closet, wrapped and ready for that fateful day. Christmas will be in less than a week, and everything was neatly prepared… but there was still one present I wasn't sure about…
And that was hers…
The one who pushed me to gain some independence and change my life… Mari-san's gift still eluded me no matter how much I searched.
There was a shop selling Magenta goods nearby the Red Roses, but nothing was popping out to me until a flash sale hit out of nowhere….
"Huh?"
They must have overstocked goods and didn't sell as many as expected during the holiday rush. For a part-timer like me, affording most Magenta stuff was a luxury going too far. Occasionally I got the tail end of sales online, but that was few and far between.
But it was as if a force guided this gift right to me. I met eyes with what I knew was meant for… her.
"Oh, that's it!"
With the last gift in hand, I purchased it and held it close to my chest, already wrapped in a Christmas box. With a smile almost too big to fit on my face, I made my way to the train. My heart soared like an angel dancing through the heavens, unable to fall. Deep down, through all the pains and tribulations I've faced recently, I knew one thing was sure…
"This will make Mari-san smile! I-I… want to see that smile so bad."
I giggled. Even if I can't be with her… just the thought that I can make her smile like she did to me that day in the Red Roses would mean the world to me.
It's times like this when love is at its cruelest…
…even a glimmer of happiness feels like a mountain of bliss.
Was that selfish of me?
Probably…
And I think I accepted that.
Because I wanted to see Mari-san happy…
With the train doors closing behind me, I returned to Mary-san's place, more excited for the Christmas holiday than probably all my friends combined.