Who'd have thought I would invite Sora-chan into my new room? It's strange how life works itself out sometimes. I questioned my choices as the fiery sprite bounced up and down on my bed.
"Wow! This bed is so bouncy!"
Up and down, she went, making far more noise than I ever did while living here. The energy in her was reaching new heights as she twirled and landed on her feet. She fell back, bounced up again and repeated this as if it was some corrupted ritual designed to curse my bed with springs punching out as soon as she left.
"Alright, you're done."
I ordered, and when she bounced back up towards me, I grabbed the middle schooler in my arms.
"W-Wow!"
She was heavier than I predicted, and before I could catch myself, we both fell on the floor. Nothing caught my fall, but for her, she had a nice, semi squishy body called Nakagawa Madoka to land on.
"You saved my life, Onee-san!"
She squealed.
"Shut up, Sora-chan."
I bonked her on the head, earning a giggle. She rolled to the side and sprawled out on the floor. Together, we watched the ceiling as if it was showing us all the wonders in the world. The carpet was nice and warm and it… took my mind away from the cold morning.
"Hana-chan… told me that your family was going through some things."
I assumed this was the real reason why she wanted to come over. I felt comfortable knowing Hana-chan wouldn't gossip about everything. So, I kept it vague too.
"Yeah… our family is…"
I couldn't think of the word and that caused me to close my mouth and not open it for a while. Finally, the word I wanted came out in a voice that didn't sound like mine. As if there was a speaker in the room and I could only hear the audio being said.
"Fragmented…"
With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes.
"You know Madoka-chan… I just wanted to come over here at the spur of the moment. Something fun to do since we're on holiday, you know?"
The middle schooler held her chest.
"But as we walked here, to Mary-san's place… I thought about it. I only know what Hana-chan told me about you. How you were in a coma before she met you and things like that."
Sora-chan rolled to the side and faced me.
"Hana-chan speaks so highly of you. She says you're the best Onee-chan ever. And of course, at first, I just assumed it was a honeymoon phase between you two."
I rolled over and met her gaze.
"Honeymoon phase?"
I questioned.
"You know what I mean!"
The little bully pushed my shoulder. I was going to pinch her cheeks but I let it go.
"Then I thought about all the things that's happened since we met. Going to the concert and doing that for Sophia and her older sister."
She stopped for a bit and sighed deeply.
"Then seeing you stay beside that one girl… ah, Okabe-san. Hana-chan told me how mean she was to you, talking about Mae-san behind her back."
I thought about that day where Okabe-san, her little sister, Hana-chan and, I all shared a meal together. Back then I had no idea the struggles those two were going through. And Okabe-san used that small time to belittle Ma-chan's personal issues. It was horrible… and I still get upset thinking about it.
"Hana-chan told you about that day, Sora-chan?"
She nodded.
"Hana-chan tells me about everything. I mean… we're best friends for a reason, Madoka-chan."
I could tell she was worried as her eyes shifted.
"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I… I understand the situation that the Okabes are going through, and at the forefront of it is you."
Sora-chan looked away.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is… I love Hana-chan, Madoka-chan."
She rolled to her back again and reached out her hand towards the ceiling. The shadow casted on her cheek as she thought about things.
"I do my best to protect her, but clearly, there's a problem that I can't help her with."
I nodded.
"You mean our family situation, right?"
"Yeah. And of course you and her have every right not to tell me all the details. I just… don't know what to do to help her this time."
Sora-chan was everything a person would want in a friend. She reminded me of how Mae-chan was when we were in elementary school. It was strange, seeing my best friend in my sister's best friend.
"Did Hana-chan ever tell you the story of how we became best friends, Madoka-chan?"
I sat up and looked at the middle schooler still lying down on the floor.
"She mentioned it a few times, I think. It was about how you stuck up for her, right?"
Sora-chan got on her bottom and crossed her legs with a sharp nod.
"You see, we were always in group of five during our elementary school years. Hana-chan joined the school pretty late and was… lonely to put it in simple terms."
As if gazing into a fond memory, she looked back at those days.
"Before she came it was me, Sakura-san, Yui-chan and Suzu-chan."
I've met Yui-chan earlier in the week. She was the middle schooler that was working at Fujimi's, the arts and crafts store I went to with Saya-san and Takade-san a few days back. Hana-chan told her about me too. I was beginning to think that Hana-chan was like my publicist, feeding everyone the idea of me that I would never measure up to.
"I've met Yui-chan. She works at her family's arts and crafts store."
Sora-chan nodded, excitedly.
"Yep! Her family owns the place, and they get a bunch of business from elementary schools and during the holidays."
She crossed her arms and closed her eyes like a monk.
"Anyway, I'm getting off track... Hana-chan came into our group later. Honestly, when I first saw her introduce herself in class, she was… a little depressing, Madoka-san."
Her eyes opened, as if she came back from that time.
"Hana-chan was depressed?"
I asked, a tad pained.
"Well yeah. Her mom was always gone with her new job, trying to make ends meet. Most times they would move before she'd make good friends. So Hana-chan was lonely and it showed."
I could hear the somberness in Sora-chan's words. My chest twisted as I put myself in Hana-chan's shoes. When I grew up, I always had my father and mother doting on me. But knowing Hana-chan lost her father before she could even remember…
It's one of the reasons why she got so invested in video games, she told me. Video games became her best friend, something that wouldn't leave her like the constant friends she'd meet, promise to keep in touch with and eventually leave them behind.
"Hana-chan…"
Sora-chan sighed and lifted her chin up.
"Honestly, I wouldn't have been her friend. In my eyes, we were already too different. But… our group leader, Sakura-san made the effort and approached her during lunch one day.
Sora-chan explained.
"Sakura-san said, and I quote: 'Do you want to join my group of friends? I think you're cute, and we cute girls need to stick together… Ah… Koda-san!'"
Dryly, she chuckled.
"Suzu-san and I were watching from the other table when Yui-chan and Sakura-san approached. If it wasn't for her… Hana-chan and I wouldn't be friends today."
She sighed deeply.
"Then our group broke up and I defended Hana-chan. It was that day that I realized what a real friend was, Madoka-chan."
Her eyes glimmered with a sense of hope. I was at awe with how simple yet complex what she was saying was.
"Anyway… since that point on, people would always tease her about her parents' relationship. But Hana-chan made it her duty to always be proud that she has the two best moms in the world. Hana-chan loves her family… because she never had a full family before, Madoka-chan."
I swallowed, feeling the guilt well up inside me. Hana-chan worked hard to build up this family that she loved… and I tore it down by my feelings alone.
"I'm sorry..."
Was all I could say. Sora-chan would have no idea what I'm apologizing for though, but she shook her head, cutting my self-doubt away.
"Well anyway, I wanted to ask you to do everything you can to protect her and keep her happy."
A declaration from Hana-chan's best friend. It scared me, knowing that my feelings tore a massive hole into the family she built up. Hana-chan did all the work… and I came in and bulldozed it.
"It's complicated Sora-chan. But what I can say is… there have been a lot of lies in our family and… they've recently come out. That's why I'm here…"
I tried to be vague but maybe I came off as too vague.
"Whatever the heck that means. I'll take it, I guess."
Sora-chan accepted it, slightly annoyed, I could tell. She sighed deeply.
"I don't know the first thing about what's going on. But… I believe that Hana-chan's perfect family might not have been so perfect, right Onee-chan?"
Our eyes met, as if Sora-chan opened a gate to a new avenue.
"What do you mean?"
She shrugged.
"Hana-chan fought for a perfect family and that's nice. I want her to have a happy life because she's been through a lot growing up. But I also understand that reality is different from fantasy, you know?"
Those green eyes looked away slightly as she continued.
"If something happened in your family, that doesn't mean it's broken… it just might need to be repaired differently. Kind of like… Conway-san and her sister, right Madoka?"
It all came back to what she was saying. Sora-chan wasn't trying to find out what was going on… she wanted to offer her own way of thinking, and I believe that was much needed at this time.
"You mean… try to be a family in a different way Sora-chan?"
I asked. Sora-chan shrugged a tad indifferently.
"I mean, in the generic family you have the man and the woman with kids. That's the staple family that society brought us up to believe. But Hana-chan taught me that those ideas weren't always what we call normal."
She smiled brightly.
"I mean, whoever loves each other, within reason, should love one another. Koda-san and Nakagawa-san showed me that. And if that wasn't the perfect family… maybe Hana-chan and even you, Onee-san, are still looking for the right way for those pieces to come together?"
She kicked, excitedly.
"And I think… I think you're the right Onee-chan to figure that out and make my best friend happy. Please, because I love Hana-chan, make her happy, Onee-chan!"
How pure and honest can her love be? Over the course of these few months, I saw all kinds of love.
A love like Mari-san's where she'd do her best to keep everything whole, despite how much it hurt. A greedy love like Linda's that would harm everyone around her in order to love the one she loved. Or even a sisterly love, family love like Okabe-san's that would do whatever they could to keep the person they love happy...
But here was a new form of love. One so intent to see another smile. I wasn't sure if it was romantic or not, Sora-chan wasn't clear on that and I wasn't going to pry into that out of respect. But it was simple…
Sora-chan loved Hana-chan and wanted her to smile and be happy.
"Why are you so sweet?"
I asked, without thinking. It's been a while since I did that, but my heart was throbbing with joy, knowing this was my little sister's best friend. She blushed and looked away.
"Sweet? Nah, that's not me. I… I just like seeing people happy, Onee-chan. Hana-chan is special to me."
Special to me, a phrase I've heard from time to time. To be special to another is a joy that is astronomical. I felt warm as I pushed my feet.
"Don't worry, as a family, we'll figure things out."
I declared, more confident than ever.
"Right now things are all wrong. I made mistakes, we've all made… mistakes. But like you mentioned, maybe our family doesn't have to break apart. Maybe we can change, Sora-chan."
Clearly, our bonds for each other were there. Mari-san had told me that she loes my mom. But as also she mentioned, she loves me over her. I can't see within my mother's heart though because she's the most closed off.
Hana-chan is fighting for all of us, wanting to make sure this family won't be destroyed completely. She's trying her best to understand everyone.
"Your best friend is amazing, Sora-chan. And I won't let her efforts go to waste. I'm… not sure how yet, but I'll take your words to heart."
I closed my eyes and thought more about it. Hana-chan… is fighting for a family she's always wanted. She loves us all individually and it's been shown by the way she conducts herself. Learning about my feelings, trying to understand her mothers too. Hana-chan doesn't want a fake family, she wants everyone to feel… happy. And she does that by learning and loving who they are, not what they can provide for her.
There was a knock on the door and Mary-san peeked through.
"Hello, the bath is ready if you two want to get in."
Mary-san suggested. Like a firecracker went off, Sora-chan jumped up and spun around.
"Wohoo! Thanks' pickle-sama-"
Sora-chan blurted out. I jumped up, grabbed her mouth and pulled her close to me. Surprisingly, the middle schooler was warm, almost too warm. Like a ball of fire being held in my hands.
"Mphhhh!"
She struggled as I spoke for her.
"Thank you, Mary-san. Sora-chan and I will get in soon."
She giggled, waved, and closed the door. I let go, causing Sora-chan to break free and burst out in laughter. She jumped around the room, twirling all the way.
"Oh wow, I said that by accident!"
She admitted.
"Geez, Sora-chan. Stop giving Mary-san strange names!"
I scratched my head, a tad annoyed. With a sigh, I let it go and looked into my closet.
"Now that I think about it, I don't think you have a change of clothing, do you Sora-chan?"
She shook her head, causing her bangs to slap against her forehead wildly. Everything Sora-chan did was over expressive, like her bubbly personality.
"Nope! Guess I'll just put back on my school uniform to sleep."
I shook my head.
"No, that won't do. I'm sure we can find something for you."
I looked through my clothing and found a nice shirt with the logo of STARS on its back. It wouldn't be her size, but it should be something that she could wear at least.
"Here, you'll put these on for the night."
I said as I handed it to her. But to my surprise, she sniffed it like a dog, taking me off guard.
"Eh, what are you doing?"
She giggled, ran around the room and sniffed loud enough for me to hear. She was like a vacuum cleaner with those nostrils of hers.
"Hana-chan was right! The scent of you smells really nice! No wonder why she looooves you, Onee-chan!"
Her cheeks were rosy red, and I could tell she was bullying me. I've experienced Sora-chan a lot in the past few months, but this side to her was one I normally saw when she was fooling around with Hana-chan. It touched my heart that she felt comfortable enough to treat me as close as her.
"What does Hana-chan say about me when I'm not around?"
Annoyed, I grabbed the shirt from her and wrapped my arm around her neck. Her head pushed up against my chest and she giggled while trying to break free.
"A lot, Madoka-chan! You would melt if I told you!"
My heart throbbed hard as I thought about it. Embarrassed, I shook my head and cleared my scattered mind.
"Whatever, it's getting late. Let's get into the bath before it gets cold."
I ordered. Together we held hands and made our way down the dimly lit hallway.
"Oh, are you two taking a bath now?"
Mary-san intercepted us on her way to her room. In that wonderful one piece nightgown, toned like the model she was, she illuminated in the dim hall.
"Yep. Oh… I wanted to say, thank you for the pickled eggs."
Sora-san said with a giggle.
"Sure thing, Hino-san. Your uncle and auntie were really kind to me when I first came to Japan. We have a sort of deal going on with those pickled eggs."
With a finger in the air, Mary-san pointed her nose up and closed her eyes.
"I make the pickled eggs, and they give me fresh tangerines from their farms."
Mary-san explained. Those beautiful brown eyes of hers shined as if she was admiring Sora-san's family kindness.
"Your family is really kind to me. You have no idea how much it means to me that they've become my friends, Hino-san."
Sora-chan rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment.
"Well, you're really cool! So, I'm not surprised that they grew to like you. Thanks for letting me stay tonight outta the blue like this. I just really wanted to chat with Madoka-chan."
She confessed.
"Oh, you."
I said as I pushed the middle schooler. I was a tad embarrassed as I looked at Mary-san. She smiled brightly and stepped out of the way.
"Well, you girls enjoy your bath. Make sure to get to sleep at a good time. If you're going to your Christmas party at Saitou-san's place, that is."
Mary-san said.
"You should come also, Auburn-san!"
Sora-chan suggested.
"Yeah, I think Saitou-san would love to see you, Mary-san.
I agreed with Sora-chan on this one. She put her finger on her lip and contemplated.
"I'm not sure... I wouldn't want to impose on you girls. Ryuji won't be home for this Christmas though… I don't know."
She shrugged.
"Well, we would be happy to have you. If… you don't mind coming, Mary-san."
I pleaded.
Mary-san chuckled and brushed her hair on her shoulder. In a way, her eyes looked a tad lonely. I assumed she was thinking of her fiancé, my uncle. After a little bit though, she spoke up.
"Sure, if you two don't mind… I would love to come to Saitou-san's place for the holiday."
Me and Sora-chan did a small victory hop. I guess I was getting into the mood like this little sprite as our emotions were shared.
"Yay! We win, Madoka-chan!"
"Nice work, Sora-chan!"
We congratulated each other.
"Enjoy your bath. I'll see you two tomorrow. There's hot chocolate on the counter downstairs. Help yourself to it after your bath."
She waved as she made her way into her room. When the door shut, a warmth basked over me. Mary-san… was a sweet person, and I was still trying to make heads and tails of her.
We made our way into the bathroom. The mirrors were steaming with mist, and it was very warm. We both undressed on different sides of the room, put our clothing in the hamper and turned on the water.
"I'll wash you first."
I said.
It was strange in a way. I wasn't too nervous about getting undressed with Sora-chan. It felt like she was like Hana-chan, a sister in my eyes. As I scrubbed her back, I noticed the differences instantly though. Sora-chan was more toned and less squishy in places than my little flower.
"I'm going to wash your hair, alright?"
Sora-chan nodded.
"Alright! I'll close my eyes, so I won't get soap in them!"
It was a super childish thing to say… but that's just what Sora-chan was. She loved to be childish and that was a wonderful trait to have. As we hummed, enjoyed each other's company we shared this moment together.
"Hey Madoka-chan… what was it like before your coma?"
Concerned, she asked.
"Oh, what do you mean?"
"Well, I heard from Hana-chan that you don't remember much. So, I'm just curious on what you remember, I guess."
I closed my eyes, thinking about all the things that I've pieced together so far. Apparently, I don't remember much or if anything regarding meeting Mari-san. My memories stop at mom working at the insurance agency. Those feelings welled up in me and it… hurt.
"I was… closer to my mom back then, Sora-chan..."
I confessed something that was rummaging in my heart for so long.
"Hm? Ayumi-san?"
"Yeah. The reason why I'm here is because me and my mom got into a sort of fight. Something happened and… I can't be there right now."
I stopped scrubbing her back as those feelings swirled in me. The truth I hated to admit. Maybe it was the intimacy of the bath together that I felt closer to Sora-chan. She turned her head and looked my way.
"You two got into a fight?"
I nodded.
"Yes, me and my mom aren't talking right now..."
I sighed.
"I've tried to message her, even call her but she's upset with me. And… it has something to do with what happened during my memory loss, Sora-chan."
Those big, round eyes of hers gazed at me.
"So, it was big enough that you had to separate from your family, right?"
I nodded, shamefully.
"I wish I could tell you… but it's better not to at the moment. It's not that I don't trust you Sora-chan… it's just…"
Sora-chan nodded.
"It's a family matter. Don't worry, I understand and am not here to pry. But I want you to know that I'm supporting you and Hana-chan."
I exhaled. My chest felt tight, knowing that I had such a good friend in her.
"You mentioned something… and I think it's very important. You said that family can change, Sora-chan."
I expressed my gratitude. One thing about having friends was the ability to look at situations differently. In my mind, I was thinking that I might have destroyed something that Hana-chan worked on. Selfishly, I couldn't hold my feelings and ruined everything…
But that might not have been true. Maybe this was just a time in which my family was going to mold into something new. The growing pains that came with it were forcing out the truth, showing our family that we did what we did because we love each other.
Mari-san made a lot of mistakes, but my mom did too. Maybe it was time that our family went through these changes in order to grow stronger. Our family was broken, that's the truth. But Sora-chan enlightened me that it wasn't the end. We can be repaired and changed into something new.
"I want to be able to be myself with my family, Sora-chan. And I believe that we're on the right track… to be honest with each other."
Sora-chan beamed.
"Yeah, and I think that's fine. I hope you all figure things out. Because… looking from the outside, your family is great, Onee-chan."
I nodded causing the water to trickle down my cheeks.
"Yeah, they are great. I love Hana-chan, Mari-san, and my mom."
I believed the world brought us together for a reason. I already said that I won't give up this family due to my feelings for Mari-san. And if that's the case, then if we have to change… I'm sure in the end, we'll find a way to still be together.
Well… that was my dream and hope.
But reality was crueler than hopes and dreams.
As we laid in the same bed, staring up at the ceiling, our hearts calmed down.
"Let's enjoy our party tomorrow, Madoka-san."
"Yeah… good night, Sora-chan."
I whispered, before closing my eyes.
"Goodnight, Madoka-san."
After the long day, we both fell asleep instantly. Our chat helped me see a brighter future. It was going to be a cold, hard winter, but I knew…
That my friends were there for me.