That's when it looked as though it dawned on her. The magnitude of the situation all caved in at once.
"Not only that Mae…I found out that we confessed to each other in the past."
Her mouth opened wide.
"What?!"
She screamed. I had to hold my hand up for her not to explode. Luckily, the train was so empty around us.
"Mae, it's a little complicated."
"Are you telling me she knew how you felt and still is with your mom?! What the hell is that?!"
"Shhh!"
I cover her mouth as I nod.
"You don't understand…my mom…needed Koda Mari-san. I…talked with her about it while we went on our trip."
Trying to calm her excitement, I pushed myself closer to her and looked her in the eye.
"Mae…I had a chat with Mari-san…and she admitted that she was still in love with me…"
"Mado-chan…I never knew."
"Let me explain what happened, Mae-chan…."
So, I went on to do just that. I told her about in the past how I grew to fall in love with her. How I got in an accident with mom and how it changed me. So, Mari-san helped me and took me to the amusement park that was on my phone. I then explained to her how Mari-san decided it was best to stay with my mom after her attempted suicide. Of course, she knew nothing about that either.
Then I went on to tell her about what happened after I woke up, how my feelings resurfaced, and I eventually confided in Taylor-sensei about them.
After a bit more, I told her about how I finally confessed to Mari-san…and she accepted it, but we agreed it would be best for the family to not be together. Thankfully, she listened without much objection.
"Mado-chan…I wish you would have told me a while ago."
It was obvious that I hurt her as her eyes dropped slowly.
"Sorry…I didn't think about your feelings. I…was more worried that your mom or dad might have caught on to my feelings and…told my mom or something childish like that."
I knew Ma-chan would have never told anyone…but I was more afraid of these feelings back then than now. Just this simple reconnect with her made me realize how much I missed…our time together.
"So, Koda-san…captured your heart in the past..."
She closed her eyes.
"That time we were in your room on your birthday…and I mentioned telling us about what kind of person you liked…"
That's when it all seemingly came to her as her expression soured.
"You were thinking about…Koda-san the entire time. I'm…so sorry for not knowing back then. It must have been hard on you to…think about that."
I shook my head from side to side.
"No, that's not true, Ma-chan. You didn't do anything wrong. This was my fault."
"So…what are you going to do about these feelings? They seem to be hurting your family more than you wanted."
"…I don't know. Right now, Mari-san and mom are fighting. Hana-chan wants to talk to her mom about it…but Mari-san is having difficulties telling her daughter things. Everyone…is in a mess."
Mae-chan crossed her arms and turned back to me.
"From how it sounds…you still love Mari-san?"
I nodded.
"Yeah, I do. But I don't want to destroy the family we have to love her. I'm willing to…give her up to make everyone else happy. But things aren't that simple…and everyone is being hurt."
"Mado-chan…"
She pulled my shoulder and rested my head on her breast. How…safe I felt when Mae-chan did this. She always made me feel…safe.
"That's a horrible situation…but it sounds to me like it's more of a problem for Koda-san and Ayumi-san."
My eyes went wide as I turned to Mae-chan. She sounded…a lot like Saitou-san.
"What do you mean?"
"Well…from how it sounds, Koda-san got with your mom in fear that she'd harm herself. But…as you explain it…she did it so you'd have a mother to come back to."
She nodded.
"While that's very noble of her…it's also slightly deceptive on her part."
"…But she did it for me."
"Yeah…but in your mother's eyes…maybe she believed that Koda-san did it all for her sake."
My heart dropped. I've already concluded that my mom may have felt that way but hearing it from Mae-chan too…solidified it in a way that made my heart turn to stone.
"From how it sounds to me…Koda-san and Ayumi-san have problems that need to be addressed…before it comes to you."
My mouth opened wide.
"Are you saying…I can't fix this?"
She shook her head.
"No, that's not what I'm saying…what I mean is…Koda-san needs to be the one who starts the talks it sounds like."
Mae-chan came to a pointed conclusion. Maybe it was easier for her to see through the clutter because she wasn't a member of our family. She wasn't in the mix but could see all the pieces that were blended into it. She had an objective look at the situation that I needed.
"Mae-chan…"
"From how I see it, Koda-san has a hard time expressing her feelings more because of her past. It just added to the present problems."
With a smile, she tilted her head.
"Maybe she should start there…confronting her past to better understand how she needs to move in the future."
"Confronting the past…huh?"
I thought about it as I put my finger to my lip.
"But how can we do that?"
"I'm not sure…"
I'll have to think of a way to make Mari-san…feel safer when she expresses her feelings. I've noticed that she's been more open with me since we had that chat. The one where we kissed and nothing else mattered. She was able to express herself without…consequence. Needless to say, Mari-san feels safe around me now.
So…how can I help her feel that way around Hana-chan…or mom? She needs to break out of her ways… for our family to have a chance at surviving.
"If you ever need to chat about this, I'm here, Mado-chan."
There she was, my best friend by my side. Initially, she was shocked, but after understanding what happened, she seemed to be on my side…like always.
"…Thanks, Mae."
I expressed with a smile on my face.
"So, let's put our problems behind us for now and get ready to get off."
Mae-chan nearly shouted as she jumped to her feet.
Our stop was getting closer, so I stood up with Mae-chan. She was right, our problems are back home in the other prefecture. Right now, we were going to enjoy our time together, forgetting all the craziness behind us.
Once the doors opened, she took my arm in hers again as if I'd leave if she didn't. As we stepped out into the town, a new sensation hit my nose. It felt like even the air was different here, giving me a sense of new beginnings.
"Where to, Mae-chan?"
"We need to take a walk for about fifteen minutes this way, and the facility should be on our right."
So, we did just that. In the cold weather, we warmed each other as we walked about. This side of town was beautiful if I had to be honest. The trees were decorated for the holiday. Likely a ploy for the big company to get in the minds of couples. As we walked under a bunch of bright lights, I thought about something…
Right now…as Mae-chan and I hold hands so close…
Could we be mistaken as…a couple?
The idea filled my stomach with butterflies. I wonder if Mae-chan even considered that when she takes my hand. It shows the difference between us. Even though she was my best friend…I was still attracted to girls. So, I can feel her breast push up against my arm, and my body gets warm because of it. I smell the vanilla lotion on her skin that makes my heartbeat.
Even though she is my friend…I'm noticing things that are slightly attractive to me. In the past, she was my knight in shining armor. She'd scare the boys and occasional girls who would bully me away. I felt safe when I was around her. She has that cute tomboyish attitude that I find fun to be around.
"Everything alright, Mado-chan?"
"…I'm just thinking about things…"
"Your family?"
"No…about you again, Mae-chan."
Her expression died down as she looked me in the eye.
"Don't you ever think people would get the wrong idea about us acting this close during Christmas?"
All she did was laugh now. I was super embarrassed, so I hit her on the side.
"Of course. We're closer than most couples. But I don't mind…I'm with my Mado-chan. Who cares what others think?"
"…Even though you know I'm attracted to girls?"
That's when she took me in her arms, captured me suddenly, and confessed...
"I never said I wasn't attracted to you though, Mado-chan."
My eyes went wide as I looked at her. Those green gemstone eyes captured me as I stood there like a deer in headlights. How honest she was…made my heart race. There we were in the middle of the road when Mae-chan dropped a bombshell on me. I saw a look on Mae-chan that I've never associated with her before. Her full lips pursed and it made her look...
Attractive.
"I find you cute, you can take that however you want, Mado-chan."
She snickered, showing her devious side to Mae.
Now she was bullying me, and it was driving me crazy. My best friend…just said she didn't mind being labeled as…more.
"Shut up, Mae-chan."
My entire body was warm and I had to exhale to cool myself down.
"That's...not funny."
I was stupid to think she would be worried about that kind of thing. I knew Mae-chan…was my hero and always will be, wouldn't she?
"Oh, there it is!"
Coming into view, a large establishment with a rusty-looking potato hanging from a basket. It was hanging for dear life and made me feel bad for the poor little thing being forced into this strange position.
Still, with our arms still locked, we made our way inside. When we walked inside, the lights instantly dimmed down, and it felt as though we were in space. A bunch of teenagers our age were around. They had all kinds of games, more than what we saw in the last sister location. From VR to slot machines and even dancing machines…the ones that I was no good at.
"What do you want to do first, Mae-chan?"
"Let's look around."
With that, we walked around and saw all the games. There was a racing game that was built for around 5 players. There were 3 seats with a steering wheel attached to them and 2 motorcycles. The screen was large and concave, bringing us into the world of high-speed racing.
Mae-chan let go and rushed over first. She took off her scarf, jumped on the bike, and flipped her ponytail in excitement. I wouldn't lie…she reminded me of a "Bad girl who'd punch my lights out." A true delinquent, unlike Sophia-san. I walked over, aiming to sit next to her in the seat that seemingly controlled the car.
Before I could get on, another girl jumped on. Then another boy took the 3rd spot. Before I knew it, all the seats were taken as a group joined in…
"Hm, I'll watch."
I stood back, a tad dejectedly. Mae-chan was giving me that look…the kind of look that pitied me. But before I could make my choice, she pulled me behind her.
"W-What are you doing?"
"Nah, let's ride together!"
Mae forced me to sit behind her. My legs were around hers and my body was up against her back. Clearly, the machine wasn't made for this but…I didn't want to get off either. So, I held my arm around her stomach. She…truly felt like a bad girl and me being the good girl, as Sophia-san called me, we made for opposites attract pairing, I guess. Excitedly, she roared the fake engine as the race began.
"I'm gonna win!"
One of the girls in the group cried out.
"Yeah, right!"
Mae-chan's competitive side poked out as she cried back. I turned to see the other motorcyclist looking at me. With sharp eyes, she focused back on the game. This only flared my own determination. Mae and I were both good at competitive sports, so it was bound to happen that we both got into this.
The game began to countdown. The tension of all 5 players plus me was certainly there. 5…4…3…2…1.
The game's announcer cried, GO, and off we went. Even though we were obviously still in place, it felt like we were actually racing with all the sounds and air coming from the machine. Mae-chan started out in 2nd place, having a pretty unlucky start, but she moved the motorcycle with purpose. Her confidence was off the charts.
"Go! Mae-chan! Hit the gas!"
I cried, hitting her on the back.
"I'm going! I'm going!!!"
As if we were actually a part of this world of high-speed racing, Mae-chan and I made headroom in the course. I wasn't in control of anything, and I'm sure if a staffer came by, I would be in trouble for abusing the machine this way, but it was too much fun.
The road was ahead of us, it winded in a mountain-like landscape. The machine had cool air blowing from it, adding to the feeling of being on the road. Mae-chan rode the motorcycle like she's been doing this her entire life. In the 3d game, rocks would be laid on the road but Mae-chan would skillfully curve around them. The machine would have to be turned in the right ways too, adding to the dynamics of the race.
"Wow!"
The machine's motorcycle could go down so low that I was afraid that she'd tip me over but I held on to her for dear life as we pressed on in the race. The wind blowing from the machine-made her ponytail dance. I was getting so into it…I imagined we were actually on the road. How safe I felt if Mae-chan was the driver.
"Hang on, Mado-chan!"
She cried as she tilted the machine nearly to the floor. We made a sharp turn when suddenly she swung the entire machine to the other side in an instant. Mae-chan was like a pro, and it was causing my heart to pump with enthusiasm. It was only a matter of time until she took 1st place with ease. Nobody here could beat Mae-chan…nobody could beat us!
"Look at her go!"
A few kids who were watching started to get excited. Mae-chan was destroying this course, leaving everyone else in the dust. I was along for the ride, but it felt as though she was a road destroyer, and I was just her trophy on the back, along for the ride but enjoying every second of it. Needless to say, Mae-chan finished first and raised her arms to the sky.
"We win!"
She cried! Everyone behind her started clapping. A flashing new record raced on the screen. It was in 5th place out of 20th and took me by surprise.
"Great job, Mae."
I tenderly congratulated her with a pat on the back. But then my excitement got the best of me as I hugged her from behind. Her warm scent waffled in my nose as I nuzzled on her back. That…was super cool.
"Did you see that girl? She's crazy!"
A boy screamed from the top of his lungs. Suddenly a bunch of little boys, around elementary school age, ran up to Mae-chan. A few girls were awestruck at her skills, too. They all jumped, loving her absolute display of power.
"How did you do that?!"
They cried. I was curious until I looked at the screen. It sat there, waiting for my partner to put in her name. When I looked at the scoreboard though…something familiar popped up. The name of the 12th score and 8th score read… [W].[M]
"Ah…"
That's when it hit me…what those initials meant. [W]atanabe [M]ae. How often Mae-chan would come here when she skipped classes…or on her own time came into view. She told me she would…and to be able to get a score like this…
We both got off the machine to allow others to have a turn. It was a blast and I enjoyed every second of it.
Now curious, I turned to Mae-chan who seemed to be directing the kids on how she played the game. They were attracted to her. That tomboyish personality could threaten to beat any guy that dared to challenge her in a competition.
"Mae-chan…"
A ping hit my heart. When I was in my coma…I never thought about how lonely Mae-chan must have been at times. I…was stuck in place, unable to comfort you in the times that you needed it most. That led to you escaping from things…I could only imagine the days that you spend playing these games alone…
"Mado-chan, are you okay?"
When I turned back to the group of kids, they were all waving Mae-chan goodbye, eager to play the game the same way as her. Like a rabbit, Mae-chan hopped over to me.
"Yeah…yeah, I'm really good."
I smiled.
"You looked a tad upset for a bit there…"
I wanted to be honest with her…but I didn't want to bring down the mood. So…I expressed how I felt differently.
"I'm…just happy I can have fun with you like this again, Mae-chan."
Her bright green eyes shined as she leaned back a bit. Suddenly, she grabbed me and held me tight.
"Me too! Me too! This is so much fun!"
Her arms were warm…and full of excitement. How I wished to stay in them for a while longer. This…was the Mae-chan from the past. The one I forgot all about during the time I woke up.
"Hey!"
We jolted as we turned around. Two people in staff uniforms came up to us with their arms crossed. They scolded us for misusing the game system and we bowed, apologizing for our rowdiness. As we walked away, both Mae-chan and I started to chuckle.
"We got scolded."
Mae-chan teased.
"It was your fault for pulling me on with you."
She nudged my shoulder as we locked arms again.
"Oh please, you know good and well that you wanted to ride along with me."
"Shut up, Mae-chan!"