My mind was hazy as I opened my eyes. My white ceiling welcomed me back into reality. At some point in time, I fell asleep listening to music. The song was at a point I didn't recognize as I took off my headset. Only after a bit of clarity did I realize which STARS song was blasting in my head.
"Oh…I like this one."
I smiled... I wasn't aware of it, but this music that captured me while I was asleep took me away from reality for a bit. When I looked at the clock, it was well into the afternoon. In a bit more than an hour, I was scheduled for work.
"Staying up late ruined my sleep schedule."
I complained as I rubbed the back of my head. Only then did I think about what happened today. Mom went out with Uncle's fiancé…and Hana-chan and Mari-san are speaking about their feelings...
"Oh…did they come back?"
I questioned as I stood up and raced out of my room. With purpose, I knocked on Hana-chan's door. There was no reply, so I excused myself and entered her room. As expected, she's nowhere to be found.
"Are they still out?"
Mari-san did say she wanted to spend the day with Hana-chan, and she's doing just that. My guess was that she wanted to explain everything slowly to her…about us. I asked that she not skimp on the details either and do her best to express her feelings clearly.
I think…Hana-chan should know how her mother feels about things. As much as it may hurt her…Hana-chan is strong. She's not easily broken. And I want Mari-san to realize that. With a bit of time left, I walked back into my room and decided what I wanted to wear today. It's a brand-new day…I don't have to solve all these problems right away either. I need to take my time and think about a proper way to go about what to do about Taylor-sensei and Sophia-san.
I took out my winter wear. I rubbed my purple scarf on my cheek as I thought about all the turmoil that my friend…one of my best friends, Conway Sophia-san, is going through.
"…I'll stay strong."
I decided. Now wasn't the time to think about all that, though. I needed to get into the mindset of work. I don't want to be depressed as I order for the customers, or else I'll never hear the end of it from my boss or…Okabe-san.
"Okabe-san…"
Her name escaped my lips a tad bitterly. Sophia-san was broken up when she was about to tell me what happened. She was afraid that I'd…mock her as Okabe-san did. Abandon her for her sacrifice to someone she believed she was in love with. How horrible would one have to be to take that story and…mock her for it?
"…"
Annoyed, I shook my head.
"No, I shouldn't think like this, or else I'll start treating Okabe-san differently. Right now, I need to focus on getting dressed.
So, I rushed down the steps and walked into the shower. A quick rinse before work is all I needed.
As the water flowed down my back, for a moment, I was at peace. Nobody was here but me. No feelings taking over me but my own. I wasn't thinking about anyone but…me.
"…"
There were words that were on the tip of my tongue, but they didn't escape. There's no reason to speak them aloud. I'm alone…and it's actually quite nice. I hoped that everything was going well with Mari-san and Hana-chan. I pleaded that mom was enjoying her time with Uncle's fiancé.
How I wished all of this would just go away and bring back a happy family…but it wouldn't be that simple. These hardships were brought on by our feelings…so to grow stronger…
"We'll survive…somehow. I'm…sure of it."
With determination, I turned off the water and made my way out of the bathroom. To try and improve my mood, I looked about my room. After getting dressed in the winter clothing I had, I decided to wear primarily Magenta brands. I kept the purple muffler but added a purple coat that was snuggly warm. This complemented the dark shirt that snuggled into my Magenta brand skirt. My favorite piece of all had to be the striped skirt that felt wonderful as I spun around in front of the mirror.
"I wish Mari-san could see this…"
I whispered. Knowing Mari-san liked fashion as much as I did…that was the reason why I wanted her to see it. Maybe once I got home, she'd be able to.
"Well, it's time to go."
I turned out the lights in all the rooms. The house was eerily quiet if I was being honest. It felt as though nobody lived here, regardless of that not being true in the slightest. The television wasn't playing one of Hana-chan's animes or Mari-san's dramas. Mom wasn't milling about on her phone or making food. Not even a ghost roamed these halls, and it drew a sharp pit to my stomach…
"Goodbye…"
I called out to nobody as I put my Magenta brand pumps on and made my way out into the elements. It was chilly, that was a simple fact. It had to be around 0C °, or that's what it felt like, at least. So, I lifted my coat and began my walk. The sun was already on its way down, fading off into the east, a testament to the winter months. Debris still littered the street as I journeyed alone to the train. Thanks to the reminders of the storm, I somberly started thinking of everything that's been plaguing me as of late.
It all started with my confession to Mari-san…about me loving her but not willing to break up our family for it. Of course…I still think about her…and dare I say imagined that we'd be together…but I concluded that I wouldn't want that. All the pain that would come from…us loving one another felt too great. I…wasn't willing to hurt everyone to make that happen.
But it looked as though nobody getting hurt wasn't possible. Now with Mari-san and mom's seeming fight…I can't help but feel guilty for it. I shook my head, casting away my words.
"No…I am guilty of it. And I will help fix this situation…"
I wish mom would be more patient with Mari-san, though. She should know by now that Mari-san…struggles when it comes to expressing herself. She struggles with that far more than I or maybe anyone else in our family ever has. I mentally went back to the story Mari-san told me in the Red Roses. The day we went out to do errands and she finally opened up to me.
She told me that she begged her parents to help her...after she got pregnant with Hana-chan. They shunned her, kicked her out. Mari-san...has felt the betrayal of those who are supposed to help her. With her past so deep-rooted in not being vulnerable. Saving face or be punished for it…Mari-san has been struggling more than ever right now. And I'm not blind enough to believe I wasn't the cause of this.
"…We'll get through this."
I encouraged myself as I made my way briskly to the station. As I approached, I noticed the brand-new bundle of Christmas decorations around the streetlights. The winter holidays were arriving fast, and nothing could stop it now. Festive pieces were all around the benches, the sidewalk, and more. It was a beautiful sight. Because of it, I was reminded that a special someone was going to get a gift from me soon.
"…What am I going to get Mari-san?"
Even during all of this right now…I still want to give Mari-san a gift. She did so much for me in the past…and now…more than I could ever remember. How…I wish to give her a gift that would show my gratitude for everything she's done.
As I idly thought about this, the train roared by and came to a stop. The doors flew open, allowing the weekend crowd to filter out. When enough room was made, I stepped inside. Oddly enough, there weren't too many customers today. The cold probably made more people hibernate than usual this year. The thought of a bunch of random people huddling in a cave and sleeping till spring came to mind. It made me giggle as I looked about the train car. So, I found a nice seat and rested my feet. Once the train began to move, I could feel the inertia take me away with it.
Slowly, I drifted into the routine of the patrons on the train. It was starting to soak in now…that I was a "working girl" part of society. I couldn't help but feel a tad delighted with myself when I thought about it.
"Hey, you…"
A warm breath trickled along my right ear causing my eyes to shoot open.
"Huh?"
Alert now, I turned to the side and met eyes with the culprit who blew into my ear. I was met with her pinkish eyes and that beautiful, mature face. Not in a business suit, that took me by a different kind of shock. Skillfully, she put one arm around my shoulder.
"S-Saitou-san?!"
Unlike how she's usually dressed, she's wasn't dark blue business attire. This was the weekend version of the Saitou-san I knew. She had a black jacket with a rosy, red sweater underneath. The air of sophistication around her tight skirt made my chest pound all the more. Well…I guess the shape of her thighs is what was striking me most if I had to be honest.
"Hello, Madoka-san."
"W-What are you doing on the train, Saitou-san?"
Without replying she buried her head into her phone. With vigor, she clicked away with her thumb. After a bit of searching through, she brought up a picture. For a moment, I didn't know what it was, but then looking at it clearly…it was…
Her hand with scribbles on it…
My poor scribbles.
"I have your schedule, remember Madoka-san? I didn't have to take the picture because I memorized it…but this was memorabilia."
With a light squeal, she rubbed her cheeks on my phone. It was a tad cute but worrisome all at the same time. For some reason, my brain couldn't find the connection, though, and I asked coyly…
"What does my schedule have to do with you being on the train, though?"
With a nod, she continued.
"I waited for you to pop on. I knew how you got to work. Since Koda-san, your stepmother, lives in this direction it was easy enough to narrow it down. Plus, I know which train you take to get home too."
This woman was scary beyond words. This was a next-level game played by the dangerous Saitou Risa-san. Now she took out her phone, wrapped her tall arms around me, and pulled me into her.
"Huh?!"
Surprised, I let out a sharp cry. I was likely annoying the passengers as I did because I was met with some sour glances.
"Say cutieeee~"
"Cutieeee?"
The click of her phone's camera echoed in my ear. As abruptly as she grabbed me, she let go as I fell to the side.
"Ohhh, look how cute you are. I'm going to label this, Our First Train Ride."
My mind was racing. So, I took a deep breath and calmed down. After a bit of thinking, I turned back to the woman who seemed to be hawking over our picture together.
"S-Saitou-san…this is going too quickly for me. Let's go back to why you're here in the first place."
"Because you are, silly."
The look on my face must have been priceless as she giggled maniacally at me.
"You told me the last time you worked that your mom was letting you be more independent. What better way for a teenage girl to be independent than to make her way to work alone?"
She teased as she slanted her eyes.
"I mean, it's this time that the hunters look for their meat for the night.
"But to go out of your way…"
Finally calming down, she nodded softly.
"Listen Madoka-san, if I didn't see you after a bit of time, I planned to just ride to your job anyway. I just figured it would be more fun to meet you on your trip to work."
That's when she lowered her gaze and looked to the side.
"And…I wanted to talk to you about something personal."
The lights of the night outside started to filter in. Now, with this woman who actively pursued me, we went under a bridge, causing the world around us to darken slightly. As the string of lights flipped by, she turned to me and asked somberly…
"Hey…are Koda-san and Nakagawa-san…fighting?"