The relentless storm couldn't match the wails of anguish coming from Sophia-san. As her small hands wrapped around my body, her cries caused my heart to drop. As we stood in the dimly lit basement together, she held her little arms around me. This side to Sophia-san was one I've only experienced once before…and that was on the roof during the Cultural Festival.
But here, that side of her was again threatening to rob her of the air she exudes in the time I've known her. That of a strong-wielded girl who would fight someone at a drop of a hat. Right now…Sophia-san couldn't be compared to that in the slightest. She was trembling, crying out into my chest.
"Sophia-san…what did you just say?"
I had to be sure I heard her right, so I asked her again…
"I…"
She groaned, pushing her head deeper into my chest. As if trying to regain her composure she whispered…but in an instant that was ruined.
"I-I'm the one who confessed to Linda first, Madoka-san. I-I-I told her that I was in love with her first…"
She held me tighter as If I'd vanish the moment she let go. It took me a second to realize that her body was shaking stronger. I had to be gentle with my words from here on. Sophia-san wasn't on the verge of breaking any longer. No, she might have been broken already by this point.
"…But didn't you say that you don't feel that way for her, Sophia-san?"
"Y-You don't understand. P-Please…hear me out, Madoka-san. Please don't judge me. P-Please…don't judge me yet!"
Her face was reddish, and she was quivering. It was apparent that this was harder to talk about than I could have ever imagined.
"…I told Okabe-san …this same story when I first came to Japan. She…reminded me of a good friend a-and…and…I was weak and…needed someone for support."
She clawed at my back. I wasn't sure if she realized she was doing this, but the anger in her raced through her.
"That demon mocked me, though! Okabe-san called me sick…disgusting…then she called Linda…my loving Linda…' gross.'"
Her tone calmed down as her nails grew soft on my back. Tenderly, she lifted her head to me, showed me that pained look. I met her crimson gaze, and she reminded me of a frightened child.
"I…don't know what I'd do if you said the same, though, Madoka-san."
She bit her bottom lip and confessed.
"Okabe-san is one thing…I could take losing her…but you are different. I…I don't know what I'd do if I lost you..."
Her grip tightened around my waist as she rubbed her forehead on me.
"You're the only person I've grown to trust like this..."
My heart dropped. It was apparent she only was saying this out of…fear. Sophia-san…was afraid of my feelings, and that made this situation all the more fragile.
"Oh…Sophia-san."
Right now, Sophia-san was vulnerable. Saying the wrong thing could shatter my relationship with the girl I know today, so I had to be careful with my words and actions. She wasn't only confiding in me…she was exposing her deepest secrets. So, to show her that I was on her side, that I'd support her no matter what, I released my arms from her grasp and…
I held her in mine instead.
I held her small shoulders, wrapped my arms around her small frame, and pulled her close to me. That fresh cinnamon shampoo wafted into my nose as I nuzzled her closer to me. Now wasn't the time to show any reluctance. Sophia-san was on the verge of breaking down, and I needed to comfort her.
"No matter what you tell me…I'd never say those horrible things to you, Sophia-san."
I professed as I whispered in her ear. Out of her small lips, short cries of her pent-up feelings started to come out. Incoherently, she cried as she nuzzled her nose deeper into my chest. The warmth of her body grew hotter as I petted her soft dirty-blond hair like Simpson-san did earlier today. I drew her in closer to me. It was painful hearing her try to speak, but instead, she was attacked with hiccups and strained breathing. How I wished Sophia-san wasn't in such pain right now.
"Don't be afraid to tell me everything. I…won't ever judge you like that."
I stated warmly, caressing her small back.
"So, if you want to confess what happened in the past then…I'm here to listen to you. I…won't dare judge you, Sophia-san."
Unexpectedly, she pulled back slightly as I heard her voice crack. With her hands, she attempted to wipe away the tears. Now I was able to see her reddened cheeks. Slowly, she lifted her head towards me. When we met eyes, they were vulnerable, wounded even... I felt that I had to protect her all the more now.
"I-I..."
Sophia-san muttered.
The rugged delinquent was trying her hardest to speak, but she was choking on her words. Sophia-san was speechless as she gripped her arms tighter around my back. It was like she…wanted to make sure I wasn't going to run.
The room was beyond cold, and only the embrace between us was keeping us warm. I felt her hot breath on my cheek as she asked timidly…
"…Y-You promise, Madoka-san? Y-You promise…you won't…hate me?"
She sounded weak, even defeated. It was as if speaking was causing her pain.
"…I promise, Sophia-san."
I sat her down on the wall next to a heat vent. It provided enough heat to keep us mildly warm. The storm outside persisted as debris hit the walls relentlessly. The cool humming of the heater seemingly echoed out our voices to those upstairs. After a moment of settling down, she huddled beside me. Her hips touched mine as she leaned her head on my shoulder. How close we were didn't actually register to me until she began talking though. I could…feel the vibration of her body.
"I'll need to start from the beginning…"
Timidly, she spoke.
"I'm here to listen…Sophia-san."
She sighed.
"When I was 3 years old, I met Taylor Linda. She was 9. My biological mother had just divorced daddy, and he was going to marry into the Taylor family."
It appeared as though she and Linda have a slightly larger age gap than Hana-chan and I. Taking note of that silently, I nodded, urging her to continue.
"The Conway and Taylor families merged as one. But it wasn't for the money…My dad actually married my mom because they loved each other. Linda kept the name of Taylor. However, we are all Conways."
I nodded as I listened. That explained why Taylor Linda-san's family name didn't match with Conway Sophia-san's. Her mother married into their family a while after Taylor-sensei was already born.
"I get it…"
Sophia-san's precious red irises burned with a passion I could only describe as melancholy.
"At the time, I didn't like Linda and my new mom. They both represented my biological mom leaving. But as time went on…those immature fits died down, and I grew to love both of them."
I could feel her body warm up as she wrapped her arm around mine now. Still trembling, Sophia-san kept reminiscing.
"One day when I was 7 years old and Linda was around 13, we spent the night at our family cabin. It was there, under the starry sky, Linda told me her dream for when she got older…"
"Sophia, I want to have a fairytale love."
Sophia-san giggled as light tears welled in her eyes.
"Linda always wanted a lover that would bring her flowers, court her every day, and make her feel special as if the world was only made for the two of them. That would be...her fairytale love."
She rubbed her cheek on my arm like a cat begging for attention.
"Looking back now, it was just a simple dream, one any preteen would want. Childish…but so innocent...Madoka-san."
"That's a sweet dream…Sophia-san."
She nodded happily but ever so painfully.
"It was that night where we both made a promise to one another, Madoka-san. L-Linda and I…said that we'd protect one another and…find happiness for each other."
The look on her face was warm…warmer than I could have imagined. Tears rolled down her cheek. She looked as though she was happy. Her tone of voice reminded me of a child. On her lips were a light smile…as if she was recalling a simpler time, one far away. She then turned to me a tad excitedly.
"I-It was around that time that Linda met Simpson Eleanor in school. But it wasn't until later that year our family had a party and she met who she thought was the love of her life. It was Eleanor's older brother, Simpson Spencer."
She bit her lip and closed her eyes somberly.
"Linda became best friends with Eleanor who was two years older than her. But she was captivated by Spencer. He…was like a knight in shining armor to her."
Her eyes dropped, prompting me to ask my next question.
"Was Spencer-san…her ex-boyfriend?"
Her head bobbed.
"Yes. Father introduced her to him during a party."
Being introduced must be a normal practice. More curious than ever now, I questioned...
"How old was Taylor-sensei and Spencer-san at the time?"
"Linda was 14 and Spencer was 17. A few years older. That's when they started dating."
"So they were set up to date by your parents, Sophia-san?"
Rigidly, she nodded.
"The Simpson family were lawyers, and they owned a bunch of shares of the largest law firm in England."
She chuckled, mockingly.
"The Simpson family were rich beyond words…just like our family. But the major difference was…how politically influential they were."
The shark bit at the air with a huff.
"One share alone netted around 500 pounds. So, to put that in perspective, around 77,000 yen per share. They owned nearly 500,000 shares of this company. The Simpson's were…wealthy beyond measure."
"Wow…that's enormous."
"B-But money didn't matter to Linda. Her and Spencer… genuinely loved one another, Madoka-san. The two of them…reminded me of a princess with her prince."
The now timid Sophia-san leaned her head on my shoulder as if pleading with me to understand.
"Once Linda started dating Spenser she was always with Eleanor too. The 3 of them were...an amazing trio."
Sophia-san's eyes shined, recalling fond memories of that time.
"How I cherished the days where Eleanor would come over to visit. She'd play with me all through my elementary school years."
There was no hiding her feelings any longer.
"It was after Linda started university that they finally became engaged."
"Linda got engaged to Simpson Spencer-san?"
Warmly, she began to speak about a nostalgic time. She propped her legs up and buried her reddish face in her thighs as she continued.
"Yes…it was my first year of middle school. I remember how…painful a year that was for me."
Now looking at the ceiling, Sophia-san bit her bottom lip in frustration.
"The moment Linda started university, Spencer jumped on it to put a ring on her finger. You can't imagine how happy she was. Eleanor was ecstatic; I was too. The girl who wanted a fairytale love…had it. Her knight in shining armor had taken her and whisked her away."
Despite how she sounded, her expression didn't match her words. Her face twisted in a snarl as anger took over.
"…I was so happy for her. I was beyond happy for her…but it wasn't like the fairytale we wanted for each other."
She bit her teeth down.
"That bastard…whisked her away into a spiral of madness..."
Suddenly, her tone became something only comparable to malice. She clawed at the floor and kicked her feet forward.
"He…promised her the world…Spencer promised my innocent…loving Onee-chan the world….and I believed him too."
It was painful seeing Sophia-san struggle to get her heart out. She wasn't trying to hide her pain in her anger though. This honest side was…sad but true.
"My parent's idea was, if the Simpson's got together, then our family would be able to enter into the political world by proxy."
Sophia-san closed her eyes as if remembering a time far, far away now.
"Linda was so happy after Spencer proposed to her. They moved in together, went on dates, took long trips out of the country…and I was happy for her."
She coughed as tears continued to race down her cheeks.
"One day there was a scandal involving Spencer and Eleanor's mother. She was forced to resign from her position. As she left office Spencer's mother took a bunch of shares with her to retire but left the remaining ones to Spencer. He was told to watch over Eleanor with the money from there.
Holding my arm tighter, she expressed the hurt in her heart.
"But I think…"
She moaned.
"I think Simpson Spencer…got a little big-headed as time went on. As he was establishing connections into the political world, he began to change."
As if her fangs began to show, Sophia-san's tone grew bitter.
"He would regularly spend lots of money on luxurious trips with other politicians. Even when he brought Linda along...she would be cast away and treated as if she didn't exist. With gifts to other women and long nights with the guys, Linda started to feel neglected."
She paused for a moment as her lips began to quiver again. I could see the rage in her build as she spoke more in-depth about Simpson Spencer-san.
"Would you like to stop, Sophia-san?"
I asked, concerned. She shook her head and nudged closer to me.
"…No…I…I want you to know about me…Madoka-san. I…need you to know."
My chest twisted as I felt the pain in her breath. After a moment she spoke again.
"So…while Spencer was away…I began spending more time than usual with Linda. She would share her pains with me…and it horrified me what she was going through."
Her lips pursed.
"Linda wasn't the same. Most days she'd just lie there…unable to get up. My beloved Onee-chan…started blaming herself for her own loneliness. And that…angered me."
Her long dirty-blond hair fell on my arm as she tussled her head back and forth.
"I…started thinking a lot about Linda, Madoka-san. From sunup…to sundown, my heart would be full of nothing but Linda. It's not as though I woke up and realized that I…liked girls or anything. No…I just…deeply cared for Linda more than most."
"…Yeah, I think I know that feeling, Sophia-san."
It wasn't as if I already concluded that I liked girls when I realized I had feelings for Mari-san. No, I had to temper my emotions…it took a while before I understood that I might be attracted to other girls. Sophia-san seemed to be the same in that regard… over time her feelings started to change for Linda…
"Of course, my parents didn't want to anger the Simpsons in any way. They offered to pay for Eleanor's schooling and even gave a place in their company for her, despite her disabilities. They were going to set her up for life…just to please the Simpsons."
Hiccups escaped Sophia-san's lips as she tried to piece together her tale.
"When my Onee-chan brought up her concerns about Spencer though…About him not coming back home often or that he was always drunk and smelled of perfume…she was met with crude words from mommy and daddy…"
"They told her…"
"You don't have to love him to be with him."
The bitterness in her words caused Sophia-san's face to twist with rage.
"In other words, save face for the sake of their goals. Linda was going to be the owner of the company at some point in her life, but that didn't matter. The Simpsons' connections with political figures were more important than…"
"Linda's heart."
Her grip became tighter.
"I couldn't understand why my Onee-chan had to suffer like this though."
She nudged closer to me as her tone darkened.
"When I would visit her, she'd always have deep red eyes from crying. Over that painful year…my Onee-chan was trapped in a fairytale gone wrong…and nobody offered to help her…"
She bit down on her teeth and scorned…
"Even though Eleanor was her best friend, she wouldn't say anything. Her brother held her share of the money. So, instead of speaking out, she stood on the side. Linda...was alone, Madoka-san."
"Taylor-sensei..."
I spoke as I held Sophia-san's hand that much tighter. The corners of my eyes were growing hot now. As if I could feel a warm knife tracing along my cheeks…slowly I was understanding the pain of my partner, Taylor-sensei.
"After mommy took on a platform in her political career…my parents wouldn't mention Spencer much anymore. I think they started to hate him as much as I did. But they were willing to sacrifice my sisters' heart for her to make them more money…"
She searched the ceiling, her tears still rained down her eyes.
"Then…one night I couldn't sleep. The previous morning, she cried in my arms pleading to be loved again. That wonderful woman who is the sweetest person I've ever known…wanted to be loved."
Sophia-san grit her teeth…
"She was pleading for a prince to come and save her…
How nice it would be for my Onee-chan to be saved by a prince that would actually love her."
"Taylor-sensei…"
I lowered my head…the weight of my partner's past was starting to take a hold of me now.
"For months this went on. I've always latched onto her when I was young and even when she moved out of the house, I found my heart always going back to wanting my Onee-chan to be happy."
Her small body leaned on me.
"…At that time…I didn't consider anything like that with her…I never thought about loving another woman in that way…but as time went on…as my age and body changed, I began to develop from a child to a teenager…"
Sophia-san curled her body closer to me. I could see the blood rise to her face as she nuzzled her nose into my shoulder.
"One night I asked myself as I thought about Linda constantly…"
She closed her eyes and wailed in her heart. The tone of her voice was like a wounded animal crying out for help...
"What if I…could save my Onee-chan? What if I could love her the way Spencer was supposed to?"
Her lips quivered.
"And then…I met…t-the first girl I ever kissed. The first girl who showed me…that it was possible for two girls to love each other that way. My best friend, Jill…who opened the gateway and showed me who I was…"
She looked me in the eyes as if pleading with me…
"Listen…Eleanor mentioned that I had…something with my best friend in England…A-And that was true to an extent, Madoka-san."
She shook her head from side to side as she explained to me. As if she needed me to understand this fact. So, I nodded as I listened closely to her.
"Dark almost grassy hair with deep almond-colored eyes. She always wore a small ponytail that fell right behind her neck. Adventurous and proud, when Jill wanted something...she'd usually get it."
Sophia-san sighed.
"We bonded over liking lemon-flavored ice cream…Jill was my best friend. That's all we had ever been to each other. She took me to parties, showed me a great time, and made me popular in school…"
Curling her straight hair in one finger…this was the first time that Sophia-san…took on a girly air to me. She then confessed,
"Then, one day, my best friend suddenly asked me a question that changed my life."
She closed her eyes as if recalling that time in her head….
"Have you ever been in love with someone, Sophia?"
"I was immature in those subjects, so of course I told her that I didn't know. I was just a young teenager who was inexperienced. It was during this year that I experienced wild times as a rich girl with too much time on her hands…"
She chuckled wearily…
"My best friend planned to go and study in Germany. But before she left, she wanted to try being in a relationship."
Holding my hand tightly now, she looked me in the eyes and confessed.
"Jill confessed and told me…that she liked girls, Madoka-san. It was then I realized…how natural that sounded."
My heart began to beat a tad faster. I figured by now that Sophia-san…was like me, but this solidified it all the more.
"W-We were…already best friends, and I couldn't deny that I…was curious about her."
"Is that when…you went out with your best friend, Sophia-san?"
Gently, she nodded. As she spoke about this girl her expression toned down as she gripped my fingers tighter. Even if I wanted to leave…Sophia-san wouldn't let me.
"…For a couple of months, we…dated in secret and we had a great time together. And one day…after a long day of shopping and enjoying our time together …we kissed for the first time."
"And that's when I realized something important…
I didn't feel as connected to her romantically…
…As I did for Linda."
"So for the first time, I kissed someone romantically. For the first time, I noticed…the difference between love and passion."
Coldly, she stated while recalling this memory.
"I realized that my best friend's lips were different than Linda's…. Linda's kiss on the cheek every now and then felt…intimate, powerful even. Nothing like my friends."
Sophia-san's face warmed up as it turned bright red as she looked back at me.
"After we made out together for a while longer…that idiot had the nerve to ask me …"
"Hey, are you in love with someone, Sophia-san?"
Sophia-san scoffed.
"Like the fool I am…I told her…that I might be…because the only person on my mind was Linda at that time."
"…Well, then you should tell them, Sophia. Here, have this...Here's a gift from me to you. Memorabilia about our time together."
"That's when she gave me a beautiful ring. And within a week she was off to Germany…and I was left in her popular crowd. So, I took up her mantle and ran the group of popular kids in my school. But no matter what…I couldn't get her words out of my head."
"To find the person I love…"
"That ring was her last gift before she left. Every day I would be reminded of my feelings for Linda. It was Jill's gift that pushed me to go back home during the holidays and find Linda...Madoka-san."