He doesn't love me.
I squeeze the plastic cup in my fingers as I think about how naive I am: I fell in love with the wrong person and I have to get rid of it.
I have to get away from Alex.
"I don't know. Can I stay with you tonight? »- I ask with a dubious tone, even though I know Alex would be happy not to find me home.
At least tonight he'll be free to meet Catherine at our house.
As soon as these ideas take place in my thoughts, I choke on ice cream and try not to think about it.
"Be careful. However, you don't even have to ask me. »- he smiles at me, pulling a lock of hair behind my ear with so much kindness that it would make me feel better, if it wasn't for the fact that I can't help crying and feeling destroyed for that bastard.
My friend turns on the television, perhaps to help distract me, but I feel the instinct to close my eyes and try to fall asleep on the sofa next to John who starts commenting on the Imposters scenes.
I have always felt lucky, first of all for being able to find a job in Sydney, then for having a man like Alex by my side.
I didn't know how it felt not to be reciprocated, but now I understand how bad it can be.
***
"Do you want to have a walk?" - I open my eyes, meeting the smiling figure of John.
I start to nod, but then I remember why I'm on his sofa rather than my house, so I slowly shake my head.
He presses his lips regretfully:
"Shall we go shopping?" -he claps his hands enthusiastically, but I disappoint him, refusing again to make him understand I don't want to go out of that door.
"What time is it?" - I ask, looking out the window at the darkness.
"It's nine in the evening. Almost. »- he says perplexed, while I pore the knees to my chest, starting to feel a great weight on my stomach as soon as I start loosing myself in what happened few hours ago.
For a moment I think about asking my friend if Alex has asked about me, but I immediately dismiss this temptation, even if John seems to have read my thoughts.
«Alex was here few seconds ago.» - I snap my head towards him suddenly, without being able of controlling my mouth:
"He was here?"
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