I feel my eyes wet, as I slowly try to open them, but it is difficult for me to do it because of the annoying light coming in from the window: the sun apparently wants to take revenge on all the rain last night, even if it is still very cold, but this is not new in Sydney.
I have learned to get used to it.
I cover myself more with the blankets, squeezing between them, and then move to the side to get closer to Alex and feel less cold, but as soon as I do it and look at the other half of the empty bed, I realize that I have slept alone.
I suddenly feel my stomach tighten as I remember what happened last night and his words.
I sit abruptly on the bed and lean back, bringing a hand to my forehead.
Now I understand why my eyes are wet right now.
I bite the inside of my cheek, and then get up listlessly to walk towards the bathroom with a sensation of nausea: last night I ate everything, I wouldn't be surprised if at this moment I vomited on the blankets, also because it has already happened several times lately and with Alex blaming me by telling me that everything is due to the fact that I don't eat.
Alex ...
I reach the toilet trying not to break my head by slipping, as I am running barefoot right now.
I try to free myself, but suddenly my stomach seems to have found peace, so I get up and go to the sink.
I look in the mirror and, if at first I get scared with my own reflection, then I begin to feel pity.
I'm in a bad shape. But I try to fix the crap around my eyes that makes me look like an angry panda, so I rinse my face with cold water and shiver.
Fortunately today I have the 2:00 pm shift, so I don't have to hurry as usual to get ready, but above all I have to do what I haven't been able to or haven't had the courage to do these days: have a long chat with Juliet.
After brushing my teeth I make my way to the living room, freezing as soon as I notice Alex asleep on the sofa.
I lose a heartbeat when I see him curled up in the small sofa for his height and I feel a strong sense of guilt, but then my pity towards him turns to anger.
He was an asshole! He must have mercy on me!
It's making me feel like crap instead of making me feel loved!
I go to the table next to him to get the empty beer bottles: I wouldn't mind if one day he gets cirrhosis of the liver for how much alcohol this infamous digests.
I pass him to carry the empty bottles into the kitchen and as soon as I go back to my room, Juliet's voice forces me to turn around.
«Good morning!» - she enters the kitchen with her head down, then I fake a broad smile, greeting her.
"I'll change and take you to school." - I tell her before leaving the living room, as soon as I feel her father move behind me.
«Okay.» - I hear her say when I am already closing myself in my room.
I grab a sweatshirt, then put on a simple pair of black jeans and pull my hair up in a messy bun.
As soon as I go out, I feel like I crash against a wall suddenly, so I close my eyes with great force, but then I realize I've been hitting Alex.
I have time to look at his tired eyes and tousled hair on his forehead, and then pass him.
«Mind your step.» - he says with an icy tone that makes my blood boil again in my veins. His arrogance has already put me in a bad mood early in the morning:
«You mind your step.» - I whisper to myself, but with the intention to make him hear me too, and I understand he does when he remains at the door jamb while I follow Juliet to the door.
She look at me with a frown as I nod my head to make her understand we are ready to go out of there, after taking the keys on the dresser near the entrance.
"Is everything okay between you and my brother?" - once in the car the girl's voice catches my attention, but I don't take into account what she says, because in the meantime my head is elsewhere, focused on a pair of dark eyes that watch me with hate.
Who does he think he is?
"Um?" - I ask her.
"Nothing, whatever." - she rolls her eyes, and then looks out of the window.
I keep looking at her and for a moment it seems to me that she too is absent.
Who knows what she's thinking right now.
I can see from the monotony in her eyes that it is not something beautiful, and for a moment I see in Juliet the girl who Louis described me, so I ca8halp asking in a low voice :
"You miss them, don't you?"
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